* "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote)

* "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter."

* "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."

* "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."

* "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."

* "My boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk was write-protected." (From an employee of Dell Computers)

* "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say."

* "My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, 'That would be better for me'."

* "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees."

* "We recently received a memo from senior management saying: 'This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the subject mentioned above'."