Sound bytes at the end of the experiment
Crow: Penn and Teller's road show.
Announcer: Now Krillain and Gohan must overcome the man-eating monsters to rescue their ship...as well as themselves! Elsewhere, a weakened Goku proved too weak for training; and had to be hospitalized once again. And a recovered Vegeta discovered the evil Frieza was already on the planet Namek, and has his own plan for the dragonballs there.
(Title Screen: TOUCHDOWN ON NAMEK)
(The sky on the pretend Namek is overcast. Threatening clouds press against the craggy peaks. At the lake, Gohan's and Krillain's struggles are being observed by the newly-revealed Radee and Zackrow.)
Gohan: Hey, what's going on, what are these things?
Krillain: (also entangled) C'mon, Gohan, you can do it! Hang tough!
(More of the creatures surface, and press in)
Radee: Looks like they're hungry...for shrimps! Heh-heh-heh...
Bulma: Who...who are you? What are you doing here on planet Namek?
Zackrow: Sorry, sweetheart -- this ain't no Namek.
Zackrow: We crashed on this planet just like you. We thought we were going to be stuck here forever. But then you fools came along. We almost couldn't believe our eyes! At first, we were simply going to destroy you. Then we realized...we could steal your ship!
(Fadeout to a flashback of the crash site. The boys are outside the ship, unconscious; Bulma is half in, half out the hatch)
Bulma: But how? How would you have known?
Zackrow: (malicious chuckling) Well, you could say we took a little peek into your thoughts. We have a special technique, Radee and I. Let's just call it...the brain drain!
 "You cad!" |
Zackrow: And that's how we found out all about you and your little plans. We learned about the Earth, and the dragonballs, and this world called "Namek."
Bulma: But...what about all the dragonballs? And everything we went through to find them?
Zackrow: All mere illusions on our part to distract you until...
Bulma: Until what?
Zackrow: Until the stellar winds came.
Bulma: Stellar winds, what stellar winds!
Radee: The ones around this planet.
Krillain: We'll get you guys for this!
Bulma: So, this has all been a big joke?
Radee: Yes, it has. And with the stellar winds peaking, we can finally proceed with our plans.
(Close-up of Gohan struggling with tentacles)
Zackrow: You should be grateful. There are worse things we could have done to you.
(Gohan makes annoyed noises indicating he isn't grateful at all)
Bulma: (looking stern) No way!
Zackrow: Yessss...and we have your ship to do it in. I'm glad you guys decided to join us. (Suddenly his several-feet-long tongue snakes out and pops into Bulma's pocket)
Bulma: Hey! Give that back!
Radee: (taking the radar) I think we'll be needing this sensor.
Radee: It will help us track down those dragonballs you thought were so important.
Zackrow: Who would have thought such things exist? They will grant us power over the entire universe! Let's go.
(The two suddenly turn and take off.)
Bulma: Wait--get back here! (She clenches her fists)
Krillain: Hurry up, Bulma, don't let them get away with the ship!
Bulma: What am I supposed to do, stupid?!
Krillain: Just stall them, we'll be right there!
Bulma: (glares)
Zackrow: Now remember, you have to use Namek to operate this thing.
Radee: It's okay. I know all the terminology used by our little visitors.
Zackrow: Why don't you give it a try?
Radee: (Throwing his arms up dramatically) Pic-kle-covered-cheeseburgers!
(But nothing happens)
Zackrow: Nice work.
Radee: I'm positive that's the command to make it open!
(At the top of the bluff, Bulma is watching)
Bulma: They can't figure out how to make it work!
(Back at the lake...)
Krillain: Hey, are you all right?
Gohan: No!
Gohan: Not really!
(Suddenly the monsters holding Krillain drag him under water.)
Gohan: Krillain! (grimly) You asked for it...
(Once under water, however, one of the monsters frees Gohan's arm. Gohan starts to power up. He sends a blast toward the surface that makes several other monsters let go of him. Seeing Krillain still struggling, he powers toward his friend, dragging monsters behind him. The collision frees up Krillain's arms. The two lock hands, and begin using their powers to spin, creating a current that forces the monsters away from them. From a distance, it looks like a pulsing, spinning energy source has formed.)
(The entire lake starts to churn as the boys spin around under water.)
(At the ship, the two aliens are crawling around the exterior, trying to force a way in.)
Radee: Ahhhh, stupid thing!
Zackrow: "Oh, don't worry, I know the terminology!" You better move it or the fog will clear up!
Radee: I know! I'll get that girl to help us!
(Bulma scrunches down behind a rock, making herself as small and compact as possible. The first alien jumps cleanly over her, but the second pushes off against her head, causing her to yelp in pain. The aliens turn back to see her. Bulma smiles and waves her hand as if it's all a big joke.)
(Meanwhile, the lake continues to churn.)
(Back at the water, Gohan and Krillain suddenly fly straight up. They are laughing and raising their arms. But Bulma has problems back at the ship.)
Radee: Show us how to open this door right now!
Zackrow: We can't fool around! The fog is rolling out already and the stellar winds are reaching their peak! Tell us the password now!
Bulma: Uh...How about "pickled covered cheeseburgers?"
(rimshot sounds)
Bulma: All right, I'll tell you!
Zackrow: Of course you'll tell us, you brat!
Bulma: Hey, take it easy. (turning toward the ship) Piccolo!
(The platform lowers. Bulma bows her head as the aliens gloat.)
Zackrow: Well done.
Zackrow: (slapping Bulma out of the way) 'Cuse us.
Zackrow: Thanks for the help! Piccolo!
(The two laugh evilly as the platform rises, but...)
Off-camera voice: Piccolo!
(At the top of the ridge, Krillain and Gohan are standing.)
Zackrow: The little punks!
Krillain: That's right, monster-breath!
Gohan: (growling)
Radee: You should have turned tail and run.
(The aliens start to assume a fighting pose, but are downed by Krillain and Gohan without being able to throw a punch.)
Krillain: We did. We just ran this way.
Zackrow: You guys are lucky I pulled my hamstring last week or you'd be in all kinds of trouble.
(rimshot)
(The aliens groan as the platform lifts)
Bulma: Well, fellas; I hope you've learned your lesson about playing mean tricks on new visitors! Bye-bye! (She winks and waves. The space ship takes off.)
(Bulma's picture appears in the left corner)
 "With optional Tony Randall insert." |
(A picture of Gohan appears on the right)
Gohan: Yeah, let's get out of this place!
Bulma: You got it, kid! Here goes!
(The ship breaks out of the planet's atmosphere and heads off.)
Bulma: We made it through the stellar winds! We should be home free!
Krillain: On to Namek!
All: The real Namek!
(Back on the planet, Zackrow and Radee are sitting up, watching the escape of the ship.)
Zackrow: Well, that plan didn't work. What do you want to do now?
Radee: Why do I always have to make up the plans?
(They both heave big sighs and lower their heads.)
Vegeta: So Frieza thinks he can beat me to Namek, and steal all of the dragonballs. Well...we'll just see about that...
(The interior of the ship suddenly turns red. There's a flash of bright light. Then the ship speeds off into the distance.)
(In the hospital, Chi-chi is humming as she does a flower arrangement by the window.)
Chi-chi: Oh, Goku, sweetheart?
Goku: (flinching) Yes, dear?
Chi-chi: I just wanted to say how good it is to have you back here.
Goku: (continuing to edge toward the door) Ummm...yeah.
Goku: Ai-ai-ai-ai! I...was just... (The doctor and the nurse lean in, then smile pleasantly; Goku starts laughing hysterically) Ah...fancy that...
Bulma: Is it...?
Gohan: ...Namek!
Krillain: Gohan, I think we're here!
Bulma: The compugraph shows the proper coordinates. It's the actual planet Namek!
Gohan: Wow, it didn't take as long as I thought!
Bulma: I took a little short-cut. Our friends in the invisible space ship showed it to me. (Still image of Session, the Band-aid kid, and the little girl)
Bulma: You got it! (airily) As you both already know, landing is my specialty. Well, it's one of them...
Bulma: Let's see...as long as I keep the rate of air intake constant through the back engines and make sure that...
 "I hope I can make it to the air sickness bag in time!" |
(The ship begins to shake violently as it crashes through the air. Close up of Bulma with her cheeks puffed out.)
(The ship makes a hard landing.)
Bulma: There, that wasn't so bad, was it?
(The boys groan, but revive when they look out the window. Tall blue trees with skinny trunks surrounded by blue and green grass are seen. There are mountains nearby.)
Gohan: It's beautiful!
Krillain: It looks just like Earth!
(She looks out to see that Krillain and Gohan have already gone outside. Her hair puffs up; she falls over)
 "Earth is not blue!" |
Gohan: (sadly) Piccolo...
Bulma: How dare you step out into this atmosphere without the proper protection!? You could've been squashed like two little insects!
Krillain: (whining) Well, you're out here, Bulma, aren't you?
Bulma: I checked it out!
Gohan: What does the dragon radar show, Bulma?
(Bulma takes out the dragon radar and checks it.)
Bulma: Hey look. They're right here, guys! Somebody pinch me!
(Krillain reaches up and grabs her by the cheeks).
Bulma: Krillain, what are you doing?
Bulma: Visit this!
(She slaps him, hard.)
(Krillain grins at Gohan and holds up two fingers.)
Krillain: Peace!
Gohan: (giggles) You guys.
(Behind him, Krillain and Bulma are holding hands and doing an impromptu jig.)
(Gohan suddenly looks off into the distance intently.)
Gohan: Oh-oh. I sense a strong force.
Gohan: It's coming from over there.
Krillain: (slowly, letting go of Bulma's hands) I...feel it, too, Gohan.
Krillain: It's way too high a reading, isn't it, Gohan?
Krillain: You're right. I agree. It's probably just the people of Namek. I just can't believe I was scared!
(But Gohan continues to look concerned as Krillain laughs. Then a light streaks across the sky. Krillain stops in mid-laugh. Gohan and Bulma turn to look at the light. Krillain's eyes go wide.)
Krillain: What the heck is it doing here!?
Bulma: Let's get out of here!
(The pod makes touch-down behind the mountains, out of their view)
Krillain: (looking angry) Those tyrants!
Bulma: (starting to lose it) This isn't happening to me!
Krillain: We had better prepare for the worst!
Bulma: Oh, no, you guys, what should we do? I say we save the women and children. Wait, I'm a woman. What do you say we just save me?
Bulma: (weakly) 'kay.
Krillain: And don't worry. You'll be just fine with Gohan and me here! You with me, Gohan?
Gohan: You bet!
Bulma: All right, I'll go call Earth and have Goku come and help us. It shouldn't take any more than two months...just two months... (the camera zooms in on her eyes)...(She flings her arms wide; both boys flinch) Well, come on, what's two months, anyway! It's just 60 days or 1440 hours, that's 86,000 minutes and I'll be old by then! (She screams in Krillain's face.)
(Gohan and Krillain both put on weak smiles.)
Krillain: ...sure -- Bulma...whatever you say...
Gohan: (nervous giggling)
(Elsewhere on Namek, an impact crater hosts an empty space pod. Standing on the edge of the crater, Vegeta gets his first good look at Namek.)
Vegeta: Curses!
Vegeta: I have no way to beat him in a proper fight. I have to find the dragonballs and win eternal life, then I'll teach Frieza a thing or two about who he's messing with. (He puts on the scouter.) I just have to get those dragonballs first! Now, let's take a little peek around -- see what's cooking on this sorry excuse for a planet...
(The scouter scrolls through several alien symbols, then three arrows point.)
 "Well, there's a nice-looking Italian place." |
(Abrupt scene change to Roshi's island on Earth. Roshi is talking on the phone.)
Roshi: What, you're kidding me?!
Roshi: Uh-huh, yeah...
(Back on Namek, Bulma is talking on a phone next to a portable satellite dish.)
(Meanwhile, Krillain and Gohan are beginning to visibly freak)
(Making nervous noises, the boys both point to the sky)
Bulma: What? (She looks up to see another space pod streaking toward the planet. She staggers back, grabbing on the leg of the ship for support.) Is...is that another one?
Krillain: (so terrified he can hardly talk) I...think you're right...Bulma...
(Bulma whimpers)
(Elsewhere on Namek...a booted foot is seen. Then an elderly Namekian is brutally thrown to the ground. Coming out of a white dwelling, a reptilian-looking creature wearing armor similar to Vegeta's is carrying a huge golden ball)
Creature: Here you are, master.
Unknown voice: It will make a lovely addition to my collection. Thank you, my servant.
(There's a close-up of a narrow, black-lipped mouth. Malicious laughter fills the air.)
(Close-up of Dodoria, a pink, fleshy, hairless alien)
Unknown voice: And we're just getting started...
 "Grandma?!" |
(The low chuckling continues. Dodoria and Zarbon are each seen to be carrying two dragonballs. Then the camera pulls back to show a figure in an air car.)
(Vegeta stands on a cliff overlooking the scene.)
Vegeta: Soon, Frieza...soon...
(Back at the dragonball base camp, Bulma is whimpering in terror; the boys are assuming fighting stances even though there are no enemies in sight.)
Announcer: With Vegeta and Frieza after the dragonballs, do earth's forces have a chance? Stay tuned for scenes from the next exciting episode of Dragonball-Z.
Announcer: On the next Dragonball Z: Krillain and Gohan take on a band of invaders in a decisive showdown, while Vegeta has a show-down of his own. Don't miss the next exciting episode of Dragonball Z!
Folks have found Dragonballs here since 10/22/98!
