Conflicts Between Parents and their Children

    Being raised in a traditional Asian family is very different from that growing up in a non-traditional Asian family where both parents have assimilated to the Western culture and wish to teach their children this culture.  There are many problems that can occur between the parent and the child when the parents have immigrated to America and have been raised in a traditional Asian household and wish to teach the same traditions and customs to their children who will be exposed to the Western culture daily in schools.  There are many conflicts that can occur when the children do not agree with their parent’s beliefs and wish to distance themselves form the traditional culture.  In schools, young Asian children learn from their friends of how to behave in the American school system and that it is okay to raise your hand in class and that it is okay to be yourself.  The Asian children absorb what they learn at school and take it home with them.   This can cause many conflicts as the child grows older and learns that men and women in America are equal and that the parents cannot be in control of their children constantly. 

Conflicts between traditional Asian parents and children raised in the Western culture:

·        Asian parents expect their children to adhere to the traditional Asian culture where there is a specific position in the family hierarchy for every individual in the family.  This is where the males have superior status than females and the older members have higher status than the young.  In the Western culture, children are taught that men and women are equal and that men do not always have the superior status in the family. 

·         In the traditional Asian family children are not allowed to go out and explore the world.  They are to go to school, come home and go to bed.  There is no sense of independence and individuality.  Children raised in the traditional have to respond only when talked to do not have the right to express their concerns and opinions.  In comparison, children raised in the Western culture are encouraged to go out and explore the world to see what it offers.  When it comes time for going to college, non traditional allow their children to choose a college based on the child’s preference, whether it happens to be close to home or not.  When in college the child is encouraged to pick a major that they enjoy would like to pursue a career in.  In comparison, children raised in traditional Asian families are expected to attend a college close to home and one that offers a major in engineering, medicine, or computer science.  These are the majors that the children are to choose from and any other major is not a possibility.  Conflicts can occur between parents and their Asian children when they see other people their age pursuing their interests and living their lives and not the lives that their parents have chosen for them.   

Males and females roles in the traditional Asian family and the non-traditional Asian family:

·         Males in the traditional Asian family have very different roles from that of the non-traditional Asian family.  Males in the traditional Asian families are to be the bread-winners and to be the protectors of the family.  They have a superior role in the family and have power and authority.  They do not have any emotional bond with their children do not reveal their feelings to their children.  The father’s only role is to be the leader and the principle disciplinarian in the family.  On the other hand, non-traditional Asian men are more flexible and are not solely the bread-winners in the family.  They have certain responsibilities in the household are concerned about their children’s opinions.  They partake in their children’s activities and help in the duties of the house. 

·         Females in the traditional Asian family include the mothers and the daughters.  They have a devalued status and are to take care of the household chores.  Their education and future is not as important as that of a males.  Traditional Asian families think of their daughters as people who are raised to join another family when they marry, therefore are not as respected as the sons who remain in their family.  Females are to be the caretakers of the children and to care for the men of the household.  In comparison, non-traditional Asian females have a very different role in society.  They work and also are the providers for the family.  They teach their family members to share responsibilities in the household.  They have equal power in their household and their opinions matter. 

In conclusion, one can see that in the traditional Asian family a child is more restricted and should be more submissive and passive.  In the non-traditional Asian family, children’s opinions are important and meaningful and children are allowed to express their individuality whether they are a male or female.  This can cause problems between the traditional Asian families and their children who have adapted and assimilated to the Western culture and want to be expressive and pursue their own dreams.