Interviews (vignettes)

 

These are the responses/reactions of people whom we spoke with concerning their personal experiences with the clash in cultures that their parents have faced, as well as themselves.

Name: Emi, 18 Student

  The traditonal gender roles of an asian man would have to be that they are the main "breadwinner" of the family.  The man usually plays the role of the "dominant one".  The woman on the other hand plays the role of being a :house wife taking care of the children".  But as for me, I grew up as a "hapa" (a slang term for meaning half Caucasian and half Asain) with only my mother taking care of me.  At a very young age my parents were seperated so I cant exactly say that I lived the perfect life as a "traditional hapa."  The way I was raised was not exactly like the tradtional gender roles.  My mom was the main breadwinner to me.  I'm not exactly sure if my dad took part in supporting me but he did do some of his share in helping out.  I was raised to be quite "free" as my friends would say.  My mom basically let me have my freedom but I knew if my dad was around it would have been a totally different story.  He would be much
more strict on what I did and when I went out.  I didnt have a problem with choosing what tradtional side i wanted to pick because my mom basically acted as if she was Japanese herself.  I had my American side but I also had my Japanese side.  I thought that I was quite lucky to get to experience this.  What i thought was kind of differnt was that my group of friends have always been asian.  I mean I had AMerican friends but my main group that I hung out with at school was asian.  So to me I was able to adapt to both sides quite well.

 

Dennis, 19: Chinese UCI student

             I think that gender roles are Nature’s way of creating a balance within a family; like the yin and the yang.  The traditional Asian male is expected to be the decision-maker. He is somewhat more dominant because he should be capable enough to take matters into his own hands.  Females, on the other hand, are more submissive. She works “behind the scenes” serving the husband and cleans around the house. She holds some power, but that power only comes from her suggestions to her husband.  Like my mom, she is the youngest one in her family. Since she was a female, her opinion meant basically diddlysquat.  A lot of the decisions were made by my dad so that typically reflects traditional ideas   I think that in today’s society, gender roles have evolved to assimilate the “western” idea of equality somewhat, but women continue to have the lower end of the stick.  Girls in today’s society are sheltered in their homes. I had a friend one time that had a girlfriend, but he had to do lots of “undercover” stuff just to see her.  If her parents found out that she had a boyfriend, she would probably be severely punished. I’ve even had friends who ran away from home because of the harshness of their parents. We grow up in the western world wanting to live life yet traditional standards prefer to protect us from it.  I guess that’s where your idea of the gender roles in the generation gap comes along.  Another thing is that our parents grew up with a belief that they must be obedient and always show respect.  But we are taught in the western world to follow logic and to question wrong authority.  That mismatch could contribute to some conflicts in the generation gap.

 

Wayna, 27: Filipina Public health degree

           Gender roles in a traditional society are inequal.  Men are expected to protect and provide for their family. He is somewhat the “strong” and “silent” type.  She is expected to stay at home and be obedient.   He is allowed to go around and do whatever he wants but the wife is expected to wait on him.  But I know that today, a lot of that has changed. Asian women have been able to be more self-sufficient and independent in today’s society.  I mean, its okay that the man is the breadwinner and the wife stays at home, as long as both ends understand the roles of the other. It is fair if they understand that they are in it together to help one another.  In today’s society, gender roles between spouses might not be a problem, but I can see gender discrimination on daughters from their parents.  Asian parents are typically stricter on females, especially if they are older and are the first ones to go through things.  I’m the eldest in my family.  I remember going out one night in high school and coming home at 12 midnight.  My dad unplugged the garage and waited for me to come through the front door.  He would always blah blah blah lecture me. I did my fair share of sneaking around.  But once my younger brother became that age, he would come home at 1AM.  My parents would be watching TV and as soon as he walked through the door, they would tell him to go to sleep…that’s it. I guess it comes from the belief that women are weaker and more vulnerable. I just wish that they would realize that their traditional rules don’t necessarily apply to today because we live in a whole new world.