Title: Remembering Love
Author: Alicia Blade
E-mail: Kammi22@sprintmail.com
Remembering Love
It is cold. Everything is cold. Maybe not the air, and maybe not
the room, but I am cold. My eyes, my blood, my heart. It is cold.
The room is dark, lighted by only a few candles and my Queen's
glowing orb. My Queen. She sits behind me on her thrown. I hear her
orders. They are not difficult. Kill the girl.
The girl. She is shaking before me. Her eyes quiver. In pain?
In sadness? In...pity? Pity. For who? Me? Ha. She is the one about
to die. Not me. Her eyes quiver, tears threatening to escape. She is
on her knees, only a foot in front of me. My sword is over my head,
shaking, itching to fall upon its prey. It's amazing. This girl, only
a teenager, perhaps not even 15 years old, is amazing. She has defeated
our kingdom's most powerful forces. She has brought the doom to our
greatest generals. And yet, she is so easy to kill. She is so helpless
before me. Shaking, trembling. Her eyes quiver.
She is a pretty girl. Beautiful. Gorgeous, even. But I don't
see it. My dark eyes cannot find beauty, any more than my heart can find
love. My dark, dark eyes. They were once a bright blue, laughing and
cheerful. But I don't know that. I have no memory of that time. I
don't even know it existed. And so I cannot see this girl's beauty. I
only see her as an enemy. And I must kill her. My
Queen wishes me to kill her. She won't be disappointed. I will kill
this girl. This small warrior. And my Queen will praise me. Reward me.
Perhaps I will even rule beside her, as king of the Earth, the Moon, the
Galaxy. Just for killing this girl. This small warrior.
My fists clench tighter on the sword. My arms are anxious,
impatient, awaiting the final strike.
The girl is still on her knees. She doesn't try to fight. She just
kneels there. Praying, hoping. This time, her prayers will not be
answered. The sword slices through the air.
Silence...
There is no scream...
No cry...
No whimper...
Silence...
I have stopped, the sword is only inches from her forehead. She
didn't flinch. She didn't attempt to escape. She stares at me, large
blue eyes unblinking. I see it now. It is so small, held perfectly in
her miniature palms. Gold, glowing. A music box in the shape of a
star. A gold, glowing star in the middle of a black, lonely night. The
silence melts into the slow melody, as does the darkness in my eyes. I
cannot see it. I have no way of knowing, but I know the darkness is
gone. Once again, or perhaps for the first time, I see beauty in this
small music box. It beckons, calls to me. Begging to be touched, held.
Removing a hand from my sword hilt, my trembling fingers begin to reach.
So slowly, cautiously. I cannot hear the music, so much as feel it.
Entering my soul, my heart. Every crevice deep inside of me which has
been filled with such a black, a hatred, is now filled with this melody.
I am scared, terrified, but I continue. My fingers reaching, aching to
touch the music, the light that this girl holds in her hands. Finally,
I touch it. At first, it simply grows brighter. My fingers tingle
above it. It is warm. Slowly, the tingling sensation begins to crawl
up my arm. Now it begins spreading fast. Incredibly fast. I feel as if
I am overtaken by the feeling. Images flash by my eyes, my mind. Images
of people I have never met. Places I have never been. They are gone
before I can touch them, hang on to them, understand them. The images
begin to slow, and I can see faces. Rooms. Items. I can feel things
I have never felt before. Loneliness, sadness, comfort, joy,
worry...love. For who? For what?
And my mind slips away...
I am in a ballroom. People wearing masks are dancing all around
me. I see a girl descending a grand staircase. She wears a white dress
with gold trimming. Her blonde hair is tied into buns on either side of
her head, long golden locks dangling from them and flowing to her
ankles. Her blue eyes smile as she takes notice of me. I walk to her
and take her hand, kissing it gently. How do I know her? Her smile
spreads to her lips as I take her into my arms and we begin to dance
with the other guests.
And my mind slips away...
I am on a balcony, holding the girl in my arms. She is crying. I
tell her I must go. Where am I going? I kiss her soft lips. Then
there is a scream of anger. Turning I draw my sword. In front of me
is… my Queen! But, she is not my Queen. I glare at her with hatred and
lunge, my sword aimed at her throat. But she knocks me aside with a wave
of her hand and crushes me instantly with her black magic. But I am not
dead. I have fallen off the balcony. A strong wind latches onto me,
pulling me into the air. I hear the girl scream. Looking back, I see
her crying, screaming, trying to reach me. Then she is jumping towards
me. No! You must stay! You must survive! But she doesn't hear me.
She is floating in the unforgiving wind as well. I reach towards her.
Oh let me touch her! Let me hold her one last time! Our hands clasp
and we are in each other's embrace. Before blackness sets in and I feel
the wind tear her from my arms.
And my mind slips away...
I am a boy now. Sitting on the edge of a hospital bed. I don't
know who or where I am. I am all alone. I have only one friend, and he
is leaving. He is some one I know, someone I care for, and he is
leaving me. Why is he going away? Where is he going? Tears sting down
my cheeks. I feel a warm hand on mine. I look down to see five small
fingers wrapped around one of mine. Looking up, I see a pair of bright
blue eyes smiling back at me. I know those eyes... The small blonde
girl doesn't want me to cry.
The tears freeze on my cheeks, and she smiles. I can feel my heart skip
a beat. Who is this small girl? This small angel? She hands me a
single, red rose, asking me, telling me not to cry. And then she is
gone.
And my mind slips away...
I am older now. Twenty or so. I am in a crowded street. In a
city? I don't remember any cities.
I am walking alone. Then I feel something hit my head, but it doesn't
hurt. I call to the girl who has just thrown a scrunched up piece of
paper at me. I call her something...a name? Do I know her? She turns
and glares at me. I don't think she liked what I called her. I look at
her now. She is pretty, even though her cheeks are red with anger. She
has her hair tied up into two buns and then streaming down her sides.
Hey! Just like the princess! Wait a minute...princess? Where did that
come from? I think I insulted her again, for she has just yanked the
paper from my grasp and stomped away. My, she is cute when she does
that! Maybe I'll have to tease her more often. I smile at the adorable
pout she had just flashed me, and then frown. I don't like watching her
walk away. Why do I feel like this? Who is this girl?
And my mind slips away...
It is later that day. I am dressed in a black tuxedo and cape.
Costume party, maybe? I am standing in a windowsill, looking down into
a store. There are diamonds and jewels scattered and littered over the
floor. A jewelry store. Leaning against a pillar is a young girl. The
small warrior! She is crying. I want to run to her. Sweep her into my
arms and carry her away, but I don't. I give her some words of
encouragement and watch as her tears quit falling down her cheeks. She
stands and throws a weapon at the monster who had earlier made her cry.
It screams in fury and dissolves into dust. I smile with pride at the
girl and disappear out the window.
And my mind slips away...
And I have remembered...
And I know my princess... my angel... my small warrior... my
love...
And I will never hurt her again...
And my mind slips away...
I am in the throne room again. My sword has long since clattered
to the floor. I find myself on my knees in front of the girl. I have
failed. I could not, would not, kill her. I have lost. Or...have I
won? Given up an eternity as king of the galaxy just to be with this
girl, this small warrior. Yes. I have won. She is not my enemy. She
is my love. I hear my Queen yelling, screaming from behind me. She is
not my queen. She is my hatred. And I have won.
I feel danger. Out of the corner of my eye I can see the deadly
crystal soaring towards the girl.
In a single movement, I have created a rose out of the air and thrown it
at the crystal. It is not a simple rose, but a weapon. The weapon I
have used so many times in the past to protect this girl, my small
warrior. The rose is black from the evil still churning inside of me,
but it does the job. It easily slices through the crystal and continues
towards the evil queen. She is stabbed in the chest with exact
preciseness, and I smile as I hear her scream in pain. She will not
hurt my princess. I do not notice the petals of the rose flicker to a
bright red, for the broken shards of crystal are still coming. I throw
myself protectively over the girl. I clench my teeth as the crystal
pierces into my back. I will not let my angel hear me scream. She is
begging me not to do it. Not to protect her. Doesn't she understand?
I must protect her. I want to protect her. Without her, there is no
life. No joy. No happiness. No laughter. Without her, I am nothing.
Without her, I am not alive. And so I protect her.
I am in her arms now. She is crying into my hair. My princess.
Don't cry. My angel. I love you so much. My small warrior. My only
love. Don't cry.
She continues to weep. I lay my head in her lap and look into her
quivering blue eyes. Slowly, weakly, I bring a hand to her face and
brush away a tear. I force a smile. No. With all of my pain, despite
the blood I can feel seeping through my clothes, I do not have to force
a smile. Just looking at her, feeling her arms around my shoulders and
back, brings me more happiness than I ever could have imagined. I would
die a thousand painful deaths, if just to feel like this once. And so I
smile. Carefully, I move my hand behind her neck , moving her face
towards mine. I catch her lips in a deep kiss. She returns the act
passionately. And all the pain and hurt I feel, vanish instantly. My
eyes close tight. They don't open again. I never feel the separation
of our lips.
And there is no more cold.
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