The Way
Epilogue
By: Sailor Jes
e-mail: Sailor Jes
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Thank you to all who have written me about this fanfic. It is because of you
that this epilogue was written. I dedicate this to you.
Sailor Moon is owned by Bandai, Toei, Kodansha, and the goddess, Naoko Takeuchi.
This story belongs to me, so if you want to use it anywhere please e-mail me
first.
I have a mailing list for all of my readers. If on this ML, you will receive
stories ahead of time, important announcements, etc. Please e-mail me if you
would like to be on this list.
Thanks
Sailor Jes
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"War is like love, it always finds a way."
-Bertolt Brecht
********
Someday
My friend:
We will
know Love -
Of its existence.
In time
Existing within it:
Becoming part of it.
You and I.
- Jonivan
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"So you'll come by tomorrow?" he asked her, rising from the sofa.
"Yeah. What time?" she replied following suit.
"Whenever."
"How 'bout first thing in the morning."
Mamoru chuckled. "You can come then, but you might be waiting a while for me to
wake up."
Smiling playfully, Usagi retorted "You, Mr. Up-at-the-crack-of-dawn?"
"Hey, do I detect sarcasm?"
Batting her eyelashes, Usagi stuck out her lower lip. "Me? Sarcastic? How
could you suggest such a thing?"
He rolled his eyes and laughed. Usagi grinned along with him. Then, reaching
his hand down, he stroked her cheek with fingers.
"You're right," he whispered. "How could I be so blind?"
"I don't know," Usagi whispered back, stepping closer to him. "We both have a
talent for it."
Mamoru cupped her face in his hands. "No I don't."
Usagi leaned her face up to his. "Yes you do."
He brought his lips millimeters from hers. "No..."
And that was the last thing he said before he set his lips on hers, ending the
arguement. Usagi wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him close. And the
kiss went on. And on.
From her place on the sofa, Minako made gagging gestures. Ami, who swore she
was reading a book when she was really just as interested at Minako, blushed
furiously. When Mamoru decided he had tasted enough of Usagi's lips and needed
to savor her neck and jaw, Minako decided she had had enough.
"Get a room!" she yelled.
Opening her eyes, Usagi looked over to Minako and mumbled something. Mamoru
moved his lips back to hers and the two began inching away from the door and
stumbling over to Usagi's room.
"Aaack!" Minako cried, jumping up from the sofa. "I didn't mean literally!"
With that, they separated and burst into a fit of giggles. Minako slouched back
on the couch. "Kids," she grumbled.
"Okay, Mamo-chan, I'll see you tomorrow," Usagi murmured.
Smiling, he nodded. "I can't wait."
Glancing at Minako to make sure she wasn't looking, Usagi stole a quick peck
from Mamoru. She squealed when he grabbed her waist and kissed her good and
proper. Ami turned beet red and hid her face in "The Grapes of Wrath."
"Barf. Gag. Puke. Dying." commented Minako.
"Okay, okay, I get the hint," Mamoru said. "Bye, Usa. Tomorrow."
He opened the door and stepped out of the apartment.
"You bet," Usagi replied.
"Love you," Mamoru mouthed.
"Me too," she mouthed back before closing the door.
*******
Usagi frowned. Rapping on the door a third time, she wondered why Mamoru wasn't
answering. It was almost noon, after all, he should be up. She twisted the
knob and discovered the door was open. Creeping in, she shut the door silently
behind her. Mamoru's living room was sunny and bright. Boxes and boxes were
stacked against the wall. Except for the sofa and coffee table, the room was
bare. Usagi felt her heart ache. Today was the last day she would ever be in
this apartment again. Four years had passed since the first time she had first
laid eyes on it. It's cleanliness, perfection. Smelled the distinctive smell
of lemon floor cleaner and sterility. It didn't smell like that anymore. She
loved the place's scent now, she loved the place now.
Stepping into the living room, she grinned at the sight she beheld. On the
sofa, arm thrown haphazardly over his eyes, slept Mamoru. Usagi crept over to
him and sat on the carpet. Gazing at him, she noticed that he held a picture
frame next to him. It was of the two of them, in the park, from a long time
ago. Before college. The best summer of her life. A beautiful, satisfied
smile spread over her lips. If Mamoru had seen her then, what a sight he would
have witnessed. The calm rapture of a woman completely and utterly in love.
Resting her head on the sofa next to his, she closed her eyes and drifted off.
Soon, she heard soft chuckling and opened her eyes. Propping his head up on the
arm rest, Mamoru smiled at her.
"Hey," he said.
She grinned in reply.
"When did you sneak in?" asked Mamoru.
"A little while ago. Did you have a nice nap?"
"Lovely. Especially waking up and finding two gorgeous girls sleeping with me,"
he joked, holding up the framed picture of her.
Usagi giggled and moved to sit next to him on the sofa. Making room for her, he
wrapped her up in his arms and kissed the top of her head.
"You seem completely packed," Usagi commented, glancing around the apartment.
"What else is there to do?"
"Nothing," replied Mamoru.
"Nothing?"
"Nope, I packed all last night. It took me until three thirty this morning, but
I did it."
"Mamo-chan, why? You knew I was coming over to help," frowned Usagi.
"Yeah, I know. But, I didn't want to spend the last day with my Usako cooped up
in this place."
"Ughhh," groaned Usagi, burying her head in chest. "Don't remind me."
Mamoru sighed and hugged her.
"Mamo-chan, don't go!" she pleaded, staring up into his eyes. Usagi put on her
best puppy face, but to no avail. Mamoru burst out laughing.
"Hey," she cried, jabbing him in the ribs, "Does my sorrow amuse you?"
Allowing his laughter to subside, Mamoru stared down at her. "To no end," he
replied, smiling.
"Mamo-chan, I'm being serious. Don't go...okay?"
"Usa..." Mamoru sighed.
"I know, I know," Usagi concluded, looking away. "Well...I tried."
A moment of silence filled the room. Placing her head back on her boy (and
best) friend's chest, Usagi heard his rythmical heart beat. Tenderly, Mamoru
brushed the bangs off from Usagi's face. The two just sat there, contemplating
what they didn't want to contemplate. After a while, Mamoru spoke:
"Hey, enough of this. Nobody died. Come on, let's take a walk. Or do
something to get our minds off of this, okay?"
Nodding, Usagi conceded and the two rushed out of the apartment as fast as they
could, wanting to leave that place that forced them to remember a distant, sunny
past soon coming to an end.
******
'Fate must surely govern this world,' Rei concluded, sighing. If it didn't,
then what was that strange power that had caused her to come to the park, sit at
the bench she now occupied, glance up from her book at that very moment, and see
them strolling by, hand in hand? Sighing again, Rei stared absentmindedly
towards Usagi and Mamoru. They couldn't see her, she knew; the were too
engrossed in each other. Rei wondered if she and Mamoru had ever appeared that
much in love. Holding hands, smiling lazily up at each other, practically
melded at the hip. Probably not, Rei figured.
A pang coarsed through her. It was hard. Yes, she had given Mamoru up.
Willingly even. Not out of martyrdom, but for her own good. Rei was a
perfectionist; for her eveything had to be the best. Her relationship with
Mamoru, while being immensely satisfying, had not been everything she had
dreamed. Rei knew she had made a good decision when she gave him up. Yet...why
did she feel this way? Regretful, doubtful, even jealous? 'Because you loved
him, stupid,' she told herself.
True, she had loved him and posibly still did. And now Usagi had him. But that
wasn't it, either. Usagi and Mamoru were good for each other, Rei could even
see that from her view on the bench. Just look at the way they smile at each
other! No, Rei felt betrayed by herself...she couldn't match up to Usagi.
A crow landed gracefully on the ground next to her feet, interrupting Rei's
moment of self-pity. Staring at the bird, she noticed how its glossy black
feathers gleamed in the sun. She kicked her foot, trying to scare it off. The
bird jumped back a few feet, but did not fly off. It bounced back to where it
had previously been. Again, Rei moved her foot towards it and again, it
retreated and returned. After her third attempt to scare it off, Rei heard
chuckling from a nearby bench. She looked towards the person crossly.
"You made a friend," commented the man. He smiled and, from the features that
weren't hidden by his shaggy, auburn hair, Rei could tell he was very cute. And
about her age.
Shrugging, Rei replied "It looks that way, huh?"
Rising from the nearby bench, the man pulled out a half-eaten bag of popcrn from
his backpack. He threw a few kernels at the bird and joined Rei on her bench.
"Birds love popcorn," he said smiling.
From the crow's eager pecking, Rei could see that.
"Here," said the man. "You take some."
Grinning, Rei raised an eyebrow. Who was this total stranger asking her to feed
birds with him? As if he could read her mind, he replied
"Hey, I'm not a lunatic. Here, hold out your hand."
Rei laughed and held out her palm. Scooping some popcorn from his bag, the
strange man reached out, holding his hand in hers. For a brief moment, they
looked at each other-eyes wide. Rei felt her heart jump. This guy was cute!
He dropped the popcorn into her hand and she threw it towards the crow.
Suddenly, another crow hopped over to the food and began pecking it. Soon,
there was a third and a fourth and then a whole flock.
"They like us," commented the man.
Rei glanced at him, smiling. Then, from no where, one of the crows lept up on
the bench, startling the both of them. Screeching, Rei threw her hands up,
hitting the guy in the face and scaring off the black bird. The combination of
her high-pitched scream and their comrade's quick departure frightened the other
crows. Inches over their heads, the entire flock took flight. Rei squealed
again and the man laughed.
Once the killer flock of birds had gone, Rei and the man stared at each other
for a second and then burst out laughing. In between peals of laughter, Rei
said
"Hi...I'm...Rei. Sorry, for hitting....you!"
"That's okay...Yuuichiro...Nice...to meet your aquaintance."
*******
Mamoru and Usagi burst out from the elevator, laughing.
"I did look like that!" she cried, playfully hitting him.
Grinning, he replied "Yeah, you did! You should have seen yourself! Hey, last
one to the door's a slave for life!"
Then, Mamoru burst into a mad dash down the hall. Shrieking, Usagi charged
after him. Their clobbering footsteps down the hall sent a few neighbors
glaring at them from their peepholes.
"No fair!" Usagi cried as she neared the door, two seconds after Mamoru.
Panting, he chuckled. "Looks like you're my slave."
"No way! You cheated," Usagi protested.
"Me? Cheat? Nah," said Mamoru, reaching for her waist. "Come here, slave."
Usagi smiled as she let herself be drawn into his grasp. Leaning his lips down
to hers, he murmured "Now I get my prize for winning."
"Mamo-chan," Usagi whispered. "No."
She pushed him back and looked down. Puzzled, Mamoru stood in shock for a few
seconds.
"Usa? Usa, are you alright?"
Usagi looked up at him, and noticing the worried look on his face, smiled
softly.
"Oh, Mamo-chan, it's not you...don't worry."
"Then, what is it?"
Usagi sighed and then said "Let's go inside your apartment first."
Nodding, Mamoru fumbled for his keys, slipped the right one in the lock, and
opened the door. His heart was beating fast in aticipation of what Usagi was
going to say. Was she going to say that she couldn't handle a long distance
reltionship? That she didn't want him? The door opened and the two slipped in.
Removing her shoes, Usagi proceeded to the darkened living room. She stood,
arms folded across her chest, and stared out of the sliding glass door to all of
the gimmering lights below. Mamoru crept up behind her and wrapped his arms
around her waist.
"So what is it?" he murmured.
Releasing her arms, Usagi lay her head back against his chest. "Mamo-chan," she
began. "I know its not your fault, but..."
Here it was, Mamoru thought. He swallowed and unfurled his arms from Usagi's
waist.
"...but, I, I'm just so sad." Usagi said, turning to face him. "Not like a
tragic sad or a despair. A quiet sad."
"A quiet sad?" he repeated.
"Yes, I don't know how else to describe it. It's like...this deep, pure spring
of bliss in my heart has been tainted by one drop of pollution. I want to be
cheerful about this, Mamo-chan, but...I just can't," her voice cracked, "I don't
want you to go. I don't want to go. I don't want us to fall apart."
She buried her face in her curled fists and cried. Eyes softening, Mamoru drew
her into a tight embrace.
"Usa," he murmured. "I understand why you would have so little faith in us. I
know you believe we've always had this volatile relationship. It's what you've
constantly told me. But, Usa, I don't see it that way. To me, we're sturdy.
You believe that our behavior in high school, your relationship with Seiya, mine
with Rei, our bad timing, you think that it's all a sign of our impending
destruction. Usa, you believe that we've always been this time bomb waiting to
explode. But, we're not."
"Then what are we Mamo-chan? Because you certainly can't say that we've been
the most harmonious couple."
"Harmonious, no. But what we are is relentless. Have we ever given up on each
other? Sometimes it may have seemed that way, even in our year of separation.
But it was you that drove me on. My anger for you, my love for you, my desire
to be with you, they were all the same thing. Usa, we're so steady, it's
amazing you haven't realized it. I'm sad about leaving you, yes, but worried?
No, I'm not worried. I've loved you a long time and I've waited a long time and
I know, that I, and you, can wait just a little longer. I know it."
Usagi sniffled and looked up at him. She searched his face in the darkness for
a long moment. With her eyes, she dug into his. Asking for sincerity. And
finding it unfailingly. "Then, I know it, too," she said.
Mamoru smiled and kissed the top of her head. They stood there in that same
embrace, thinking in the darkness of his living room for a long time.
*******
Early that morning, practically still night, Mamoru somberly opened his eyes.
Confused with sleep, he considered for a moment where he was and what this
slender body of warmth next to him was. Then he knew. Curled peacefully next
to him was Usa, his girlfriend. He felt her cold toes against his leg and
sensed her soft, regular breathing. Sighing, Mamoru gazed at her in the dark.
Now he felt urgent, anxious, and sad. It was a shame, he thought, that only in
the end that it could be like this between them. No, not the end. Just the
denoument of one act in this bizarre, wonderful play. Some day it would always
be like this, Mamoru hoped. He would always open his eyes and find Usagi there.
His lips formed into an unconcious smile and he reached out and stroked her
forearm with the back of his fingers. Usagi flinched a little, sighed, and
resumed her sleep.
Mamoru chuckled softly. His heart swelled with a quiet happiness. Finally,
after so long, waiting and agonizing, she was his. Even in his oversized, worn
T-shirt, with her hair tumbled about her face and his pillow, it made her all
the more beautiful. They owned a piece of each other now. He had sacrificed
some of the flesh of his heart to her and, in return, had received a piece of
hers.
As if she sensed his thoughts, Usagi's eyes fluttered open. She stared at
Mamoru for a few seconds and smiled. He smiled back and wrapped his arm around
her body. Snuggling closer into him, Usagi exhaled slowly and fell back asleep.
Mamoru, too, shut his eyes.
*******
When Usagi awoke, she was alone in Mamoru's bed. She blinked a few times and
rubbed her eyes, considering her circumstances. Today was the day. Minako and
the others would probably be concerned since she hadn't come home that night.
Oh, well, she thought. When she went home to get her things she would explain
everything. Sitting up in bed, she smelled freshly brewing coffee and heard the
shower running. Usagi glanced over at the clock. 7:26.
Gronaning, she flopped back down in bed. "Too early..."
But, despite the time, she couldn't go back to sleep. By this time tomorrow,
she would be in a different bed, in a different house, in a different city,
alone. The door to Mamoru's bathroom opened and he walked out, toweling his
hair. Shirtless, he wore a pair of faded jeans. Gazing at him, Usagi was one
step away from salivating all over herself. He just had to rub it in, didn't
he? Seeing that she was up, he smiled and sat next to her on his bed.
"I made breakfast," he said.
"Mmm," she grumbled. "Bacon and eggs?"
"What about coffee and corn flakes?" he responded.
"Yuuuuccckkk," Usagi groaned, throwing the covers over her head.
Mamoru laughed and peeled the sheet down, revealing just Usagi's forehead and
eyes. "No, just kidding. Bacon, eggs, pancakes."
Then, Usagi bounded up. "That's more like it."
She was about to get out of bed, when Mamoru put his hand on her shoulder,
stopping her. Wide-eyed, Usagi stared at him. Mamoru chuckled with
embarassment.
"Sorry...I don't really know...why I did that."
Usagi smiled and kissed him. Helping her out of bed, the two both walked to the
kitchen and ate breakfast in silence.
*******
It was 10:35 now and the train was supposed to come in ten minutes. The morning
had been long. Usagi had tearfully bade her friends and family goodbye. In
Mamoru's car on the way to the station, she had cried softly. And now, Mamoru
waited on the bench, elbows propped on his knees, watching Usagi check her bags
with a conductor. She was so animated and...and beautiful and everything else
that was good and right in the world. Nodding twice, she said a few last words
to the conductor and paced over to Mamoru. He watched her, the look in her eyes
similar to something from times past.
Mamoru remembered that her eyes possessed that same fright, unknowing,
hestitancy that they had the first time he had ever seen her. Walking towards
that empty desk on her first day at Juuban High. But, that had been a long time
ago. Things had changed a lot. She sat next to him on the bench.
"Okay, everything's taken care of," she said.
"I was just thinking about that first day we met," Mamoru replied.
Usagi cocked an eyebrow. "Now? Why?"
Shrugging, Mamoru said "As you were walking over here just now, you had that
same uncertain look in your eyes as you did when you first entered into our
classroom."
Smiling, Usagi said "Wow, what a thing to think about at a time like this."
"Yeah. Can you imagine what our old classmates will say about us when we come
walking into our class reunion? They won't believe it. I can just see their
faces. My, how time changes things."
Usagi shook her head. "Do you really think it's time?"
"Well, what else would it be?"
"Time changes nothing, Mamo-chan. People change. Time is just a coincidence.
We changed ourselves, Mamo-chan."
"I guess you could say we evolved. Adapted, even."
Usagi grinned. A train whistle blew in the distance. They both turned their
heads towards the sound.
"Usa," Mamoru began, "When you go away, don't stop changing. Become the writer
you want to be. You know, achieve one dream. And then, in three years, when we
can be back together again, we'll have the rest of our lives to make the other
dreams happen."
Usagi nodded. To Mamoru's surprise, she smiled. A look of calmness washed over
her face. The train came barreling into the station and squealed to a halt.
"You too, Mamo-chan," Usagi replied. "Oh, I almost forgot!"
Reaching into her backpack, Usagi pulled out a think, sealed folder.
"It's for you," she said. "You can read it on the plane."
"What is it?"
"You'll see. Don't read it until you're up in the air though."
"Alright, thanks. Hey you'd better get going."
"Yeah."
They hugged. And then, their lips met for a long moment. When they parted,
Usagi smiled.
"I won't say goodbye," she murmured.
Mamoru nodded. "Then, until we see each other again."
"Yes."
Mamoru let her go. She looked at him in his eyes one last time and then turned
around. Usagi sauntered to the train, her feet light. She took one step up the
stairs, turned back and waved. Mamoru returned the wave and grinned. Then,
Usagi bounded up the stairs, disappearing into the train. Standing on the
platform, Mamoru couldn't bring himself to leave yet. Usagi's face re-emerged
in the window, just as the train began pulling out of the station. Blowing him
a kiss, she laughed. Mamoru pretended to catch it and put it in his pocket. He
waved and laughed at the same time. As the train rumbled out of the station,
the last thing he heard was the sound of his own laughter.
*******
Closing the thick manuscipt, I smile.
"We will touch down in Boston in one hour, ladies and gentlemen," the captain
says over the intercom.
I turn the huge document to the front and read the cover again. "Our Way" by
Tsukino Usagi. Again, I open to the dedication page. In it, she scrawled a
personal message to me.
"Mamo-chan,
Here it is, in words. Our story. Maybe one day, I'll change the names
and have it published. But until then, read it and think of me.
Love always,
Usa."
I flip the page to the first words and read them again. "The door to Year 2-
Class 2 at Juuban High School swung open... 'Class, there will be a new student
joining us-'."
Tears come to my eyes. She got it all. Everything. Every word, emotion, look,
feel. There were some embellishments, but those didn't matter. Staring out the
window, I think about her. Somewhere down there, working hard, making her
dreams happen. I close "Our Way." Three years is nothing. I think about
Harvard and med school, about learning and love. The sun glints on the wing of
the plane. Sitting back in my seat, I tuck the manuscript neatly into my bag,
anticipating my descent into Boston. I think.
The End.
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