In a small, dirty bar somewhere deep in an alleyway, a crowd of people sat waiting for the final act of the evening to enter. The proprietor of the bar walked out onto the stage and called for silence. "It is now my great pleasure to present to you...the final act of the evening, Alcohol, as performed by Seijuro Hiko and Sagara Sanosuke!" Cheers rose in the crowd as the two men walked on stage, each holding a huge bottle of sake. "Hey, evr'y one. How're ya doin' tonight? Good? Good. Have we got an act for you. Hit it, Hiko!" With a bow, and a cue to the pianist, Hiko began singing.

Hiko:
Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party time necessity
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself
Oh alcohol I still drink to your health

Sano and Hiko:
I love you more,
Than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

The pianist: “That’s what I’m talking about”

Sano takes center stage, shoving Hiko out of the way:
Forget the cafe lattes
Screw the raspberry iced tea
A Malibu and Coke for you
A G and T for me

Hiko climbs back on stage and begins singing with Sano:
Alcohol, your songs resolve
Like my life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill
(Sano waves at Tae, who's sitting in the back of the room)

The pianist joins Hiko and Sano:
I love you more
Than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

Sano starts singing by himself, while Hiko takes over at the piano (of course he knows how to play):
Oh alcohol
Would you please forgive
For while I cannot love myself
I’ll use something else

Hiko sings and plays:
I thought that alcohol
Was just for those with nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
Was a waste of precious booze

Sano joins in:
But now I know that there’s
A time and theres a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between self-control and self-abuse

Hiko goes into a solo on the piano while Sano incites the crowd.

Crowd: (Chanting) Go, go go go go go

Hiko gets up from the piano and starts singing with Sano:
I love you more
Than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

Hiko blushes as he sings:
Would you please ignore
That you found me on the floor
Trying on your camisole

The pianist climbs onto the stage and starts singing with Sano and Hiko:
Oh alcohol
Would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I’ll use something else

Whispers of "Who's the other man?" go through the crowd, while Hiko, Sanosuke and the mysterious pianist continue to sing.

Would you please forgive me?
Would you please forgive me?

As the song ends, there is complete silence in the room. Finally one pair of hands clap, and the spell is broken. The room breaks out with cheers, hooting and hollering, and the question "Who's the pianist? What's your name? When will you perform again?"

The pianist smiles mysteriously and replies, "My name is Fujisawa."

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