From: Jamie Seaman 
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Subterranean Nerima Nightlife 0


	Ok here's my first fanfic. It goes with out saying that I don't own
the Ranma 1/2 characters. They are the property of their creator the
great Rumiko Takahashi (may she live forever).

    I want to apologise in advance about how out of character Ukyou
is. I don't know what came over me. Likewise the time line is a bit
out of whack. This is partially deliberate, and partly due to poor
planning. And by the way this isn't meant to be a lemon, but there
are a few scenes that are, well unusual.

	You have been warned, so now enjoy!


Subterranean Nerima Nightlife
Introduction

     Ryouga sat thoughtfully on a ledge, and scanned the streets
below him. The night sky was cloudy, but the bar strip's light
pollution radiated up to him, granting him a clearer view. He sighed
as he took in all the sights and sounds of a busy Saturday night.

     Wallowing in self-pity, he watched the people below. Friends
laughing together, enjoying everything the night had to offer.
Wandering from club to club, bar to bar, drinking and dancing.
Collecting phone numbers of the opposite sex in the search for
companionship. As Ryouga picked at one of his fangs, he noted a young
man who had done much better than a few phone numbers. He was walking
out of a busy club with a girl under each arm, while two other youths
followed enviously. The first young man reminded him of Ranma because
of his selfish Casanova type behaviour.

     Below his perch, Ryouga thought he saw a familiar face. He
looked again but it had already disappeared into the club below him.
It was a very small, very private club. "Pandora's Box", Nerima's
most prominent and therefor most notorious lesbian bar. Ryouga shook
his head and picked up his backpack, no, no one he knew would be
caught dead there. Not even Ranma was that much of a pervert, and
definitely not^Å

     Ryouga shook his head some more until it cleared and leapt into
a dark alley to his left. Ryouga's thrice cursed existence was hard
enough and leading a double life with the Tendo's left him with a
heavy toll to pay. He was afraid he would have to quell his needs,
and soon. But he wouldn't and couldn't admit it, not even to himself.

^\^
 ^

     Much later that same night Nabiki Tendo made her way back to the
dojo. Thankfully the lights were all out as she crept up to the front
door. It was well past Nabiki's curfew and she knew it. Again she
thanked God the lights were out.

     Silently she berated herself for losing track of the time. This
sort of misconduct was inexcusable, and could have landed her in a
whole lot of trouble. But on the other hand, she'd had a lot of fun,
and made some serious money. She would still have to answer for her
lateness in the morning, but that was how Nabiki wanted it. By
morning things would have cooled off a little.

     But as she stealthily reached for the door with her house key,
it suddenly swung open. Nabiki jumped back startled her ring and
middle fingers touching her palms, thumbs and remaining fingers
straight out.

     From inside Kasumi just glared at the middle sister in a way
that made her innards sink. "Get. In. This. House." Kasumi scowled.
She did not have to ask twice, Nabiki wide eyed with terror obeyed
instantly.

    "And exactly where have you been all night?" Kasumi demanded, as
she shut, locked, and bolted the door. She had obviously been waiting
up for her sister. She was already wearing her usual long white
nightgown, and Kasumi never stayed up this late.

     "I^Å I was just^Å" Nabiki's mind started racing furiously. If she
didn't make this very, very good there would be dire consequences.
She knew believable lies had to be as close to the truth as possible.
Stick to most of the facts and only fabricate what was absolutely
necessary. But tonight any of the facts would only get her into more
trouble.

     "Well I'm waiting," Kasumi said gravely. "I want to hear about
all the terrible things you've been up to."

     "I know I'm really, really late, and you must have been really
worried about me," Nabiki babbled mindlessly. She was desperate now,
stalling for time to think.

     But she knew Kasumi's mind had been made up before she had even
gotten home. Otherwise she wouldn't have waited up for her in the
dark. "But where were you?" she asked again, too coldly and too
softly for Nabiki's liking. Choked and at a loss for words, Nabiki
let a long guilty silence answer for her. Kasumi continued to stare
coldly at her, and reached for something.

     Nabiki's already dashed hopes for getting out of the mess she'd
made for herself evaporated, when Kasumi pulled a long narrow cane
out from behind her. Worst of all Nabiki knew they wouldn't be waking
anyone up. Her father and the Saotome's were away on a training
voyage, and Akane was sleeping over at a friends. Kasumi and Nabiki
were the only ones home tonight. There was nobody to rescue her from
her sisters wrath.

     Nabiki stared at Kasumi and the cane transfixed in horror. About
to face her worst fear, a dimly remembered song lyric came to her. It
was vague, but chilling. 'Hold on, hold on to yourself, for this is
gonna hurt like hell.'

^\^
 ^
     "Hey, hold it buddy," a loud oversized, and over dressed bouncer
said as he pushed Ryouga out of the line of club crawlers. "I think
you should be going back the way you came."

     The gaijin ape at the door had no idea how utterly futile his
instructions were. Ryouga was never really sure where he had been, or
even where he was at the moment. But the doorman's message was clear
enough, and Ryouga did not like it.

     Being anti-social by nature it had taken some serious soul
searching just to work up the courage to go to the bar. He had waited
forty minutes in line, and to top it off, he was fighting back an
intense craving. Ryouga was in no mood for hassles. Ryouga looked at
the bouncer, who appeared to be training for a career in sumo
wrestling despite his racial handicap, and simply asked, "Why?"

     "Just beat it kid," he said. "We don't allow homeless in here."

     "I have money to spend, and I am not homeless," Ryouga spat
back. "Now step aside."

     The bouncer slowly scanned the kid up and down with a
premeditated look of disgust. He was dressed in worn out, ragged
clothing, and too much of it for such a hot summer night. He was also
wearing a large backpack, no doubt it held all his worldly goods.

     "You sure look like it," the bigger man snarled,
 aggressively adjusting his bulk toward Ryouga. "You really don't
want this the hard way. So go sniff some glue, or I'll make you wish
you never crawled out of your gutter."

     He took a step towards Ryouga, expecting him to run away. But he
didn't, the next thing the bouncer knew was darkness. Ryouga didn't
have to pay the cover charge that night, and boldly marched in.

^\^
 ^

     "Shampoo no that stupid! Shampoo only sniff and chase dragon,"
the Chinese Amazon had insisted much earlier that same evening, as
she artfully shifted a piece of tin foil across two small juice
glasses.

     Kodachi Kuno was mildly disgusted by Shampoo's extravagance, she
still refused to use a syringe. "Oh, such a waste is a sin dear girl.
You'll never know what your missing," Kodachi tightened the silk cord
around her arm, and pumped it up and down a few times.

     "Shampoo only missing risk of HIV, and air bubbles. And no need
Great-grandmother to see needle tracks." Ever so gently she sprinkled
a pinch of yellowish powder on the foil bridge between glasses.

     "Air bubbles are highly overrated. But alright darling, I can't
make you poke if you don't want to. But could I get you to do me a
little favour?" sitting on her bed she looked up at Shampoo, and
smiled sweetly holding out her needle.

     Shampoo understood and took the syringe. Settling down next to
her, she held Kodachi's wrist and smacked her forearm until the veins
stood out more. "Why you no can do this yourself?" she huffed.

     "I can, but this is much easier. Giving yourself a shot is such
a strain sometimes," Kodachi commented, not wanting Shampoo to know
the real reason; her hands were shaking too badly from withdrawal.
"Now you know what to do, but do try to hit the vein this time, and
don't shoot it in so fast, and... uh... don't... oh...
oh-ho-ho-ho-ho," a familiar deviant laughter filled the air.

     Shampoo shut Kodachi up by giving her the shot in mid-bitch. She
hit the spot on her first try, and seconds later Kodachi couldn't
find a single thing to complain about.

     Shampoo took the needle out of her friend's arm and untied the
cord. "Thank you... thank you sooo much," Kodachi sighed, her eyes
half closed as the heavenly delirium of the devil heroin set in.

     Now that Kodachi was completely zonked and satisfied, it was
time to take care of her own habit. She sparked her zippo and put it
under the foil bridge. She grabbed her funnel and was about to inhale
the first wisps of smoke, when she noticed something from the corner
of her eye. Something was wrong, very wrong.

^\^
 ^

     To say Nabiki was feeling vulnerable, as she slowly put her
shorts back on, would be quite an understatement. Kasumi had been
hell bent, bound, and determined to punish Nabiki for being so late
and disobeying her (Nabiki was merely bent and bound).

     But it was when Kasumi went through her purse, that she really
lost her temper. Inside she found a suspicious amount of yen, as
Nabiki was not one to carry her wealth. The camera, of course, and a
few rolls of film, a deck of cards Kasumi knew from experience would
be marked, a shot glass, and condoms. CONDOMS!

     Luckily for Nabiki, big sister didn't know what the small set of
scales and scissors where for.

^\^
 ^

     Pandora's Box enjoyed a clientele that was both loyal and
vigorous, but best of all growing. Tonight was no exception, the
place was packed with young women. Young for the most part at least,
they came from all walks of life. From forty something year old
housewives who were tired of living a lie, to the high school girls
who had to lie to get in. Some confused and some self assured,
determined to never hide what they were.

     One high school girl looked around in wonder, as she pocketed
her fake ID. It was her first time in such an establishment and she
was full of nervous energy. As she stared at the interlocked Female &
Female symbol above the entrance, she knew there was a whole new
world for her to find.

_________________________________________________________
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From: Jamie Seaman 
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Subterranean Nerima Nightlife 1

Subterranean Nerima Nightlife
Chapter 1: Ryouga's tale

If it wasn't for bad luck,
I wouldn't have no luck at all...
Booker T. Jones 'Born Under a Bad Sign'


	Inside the crowded dance club the music wasn't loud, saying it was
loud didn't even scratch the surface. To say it was blaring would
still be an understatement. Even to call it a stupendous thundering
would be putting it mildly. Ryouga didn't understand how anyone could
enjoy being assaulted by "music" at such a volume.

	Ryouga didn't think highly of the music it's self either. To him
dance, techno, and house were all repulsive. Did the music industry
even remember what guitars were? This was nothing but a pounding semi
unpredictable beat, that relied too much on the excessive level of
bass, it had no soul whatsoever.

	But he was clearly a minority in that opinion, all around him were
hundreds of young people having a roaring good time. Ryouga's
loneliness and depression kicked in at the sight of them. He had a
very low tolerance of other people's happiness.

	Nor was he comforted by the sheer number of people who had been
packed into the club. Living in Japan, Ryouga had come to accept over
crowding as a part of city life. But he did not savour it the way
these people seemed to. The club was a massive churning sea of bodies
and waving limbs. It was steaming from the heat of so many bodies so
close together, and simply turning around meant bumping into at least
half a dozen people.

	Ryouga felt so uncomfortable in these alien surroundings, and
confused by the hypnotic flashing lights, that he desperately wanted
to go. But he stubbornly decided to stay. After waiting so long in
line, and fighting to get in, he would have fun even if it killed
him.

	He paused and wondered about this, he had heard of people being
scared to death, and dying of humiliation, so why not death by
awkwardness? He abruptly stopped this line of thinking. It was making
both him, and the omniscient narrator look and feel ridiculous.

	Then he felt it again, a clawing from inside him. He winced, took a
deep breath letting it out slowly. 'Try to relax,' he told himself.
'Fight it and try to relax.' Yeah right, fight and relax, not very
easy to do. Or likely to happen.

	A drink, he decided, would help. Yes, a drink, he was dying for a
drink. He had to have a drink. Had to.... starving...

	"Argh no! Not that. A drink of liquor!" Ryouga snarled to himself
and clasped his hands on his head.

	"I need more details than that kiddo," a feminine voice to his left
called over the blaring beat of the music.

	"Huh?" Ryouga said as he turned towards the voice. Only then did he
realise he'd wandered right up to the bar. 'Starting to act like dear
ol' Dad,' he thought to himself. The local tavern had been the only
place the man had ever managed to find. Of course when his father
went on his little week long benders, it was always a good week for
his mother and him. Until the old man found his way back of course...
Ryouga was snapped out of his thoughts when the girl behind the bar
called to him again.

	"So what do you want to drink?" she demanded. She was older than
him, taller too. Her hair was tied into two short girlish pigtails,
and she had in Ryouga's opinion three too many earrings in each ear.
Aside from the needless piercing she looked radiant, a fine example
of the loud electric life around him. But Ryouga was too down to even
realise how attracted to her he was.

	"Something strong. Very strong, any suggestions?"

	"How about a zombie? And speak up, man!" she suggested. Like all
bartenders she hated being asked questions, especially what was good
and what wasn't. Even worse he was soft spoken, she could barely hear
him over the music.

	"Sure," Ryouga yelled back and slapped some yen onto the bar,
laughing bitterly to himself. "A zombie would be very appropriate.
I'll have two." He accepted the drinks and walked away before she
could give him his change. It wasn't that he was a big tipper, Ryouga
simply didn't value personal wealth as highly as most. When he had it
he gave it away and spent it freely. When he didn't, he got by just
fine with out it. He was kinda stupid that way, and kinda lucky too.

	Tomoko, the bartendress, watched as the rather woeful young man
looked around in vain for a table. To her surprise, he was able to
find one, as four people right in front of him got up and left.
'Getting a table in here? He's a lucky guy,' she thought to herself.
'But I get the feeling that's not usually the case.'

	If Ryouga had known what she was thinking, he'd have had to agree.
He knew he'd been dealt a few shit hands, and that he felt depressed
more often than not. But he never actually considered his life, to be
the total tragedy that in reality it was. Deep down he always
believed he would bounce back, his determination had always driven
him onward.

	But when he told the plain facts to the odd person he met in his
travels (omitting the curses of course), more often than not he was
often treated with sympathy and admiration for surviving such
hardships. Admiration was okay, but he didn't want sympathy. Not
consciously at least, subconsciously he craved it as a form of
attention he so desperately needed. As a result he had developed a
defensive mechanism typical of Nerima martial artists; to be dense
enough not to notice it, unless laid on very, very thick. For example
sarcasm, or when Akane tried to 'protect' him from Ranma. Being dense
often helped protect his brittle ego.

	This was lucky for Tomoko, who couldn't take her eyes off him while
he pounded down his drinks. She watched him so intently that she was
barely able to keep her mind on her job. He was handsome, but also
radiating a deep sorrow. She found his rugged looks attractive, and
although obviously suffering, it was in a quiet polite kind of way
that touched her strong maternal side.

	He was just quietly sitting hunched over the table as if he didn't
want to bother anyone. But he was drinking so fast it seemed as if
his only goal for the evening was to reach total obliteration. 'Which
it probably is,' she decided. 'But it doesn't have to be that way.'
Fuck her motherly instincts. Tomoko was suddenly hot for his sinewy
body.

	"I'm taking my half hour meal break," Tomoko announced to the
bartender next to her. "Back in thirty, can you handle it?" Without
even waiting for a reply, she snatched up the two drinks she had just
mixed and made a beeline to Ryouga's table.

	Ryouga sunk deeper into his slouch, and cursed this fate the gods
had seen fit to give him. It was something he did a lot of lately. He
was three times cursed now, four times if you included the love he
felt for Akane, love that he was certain could never be returned.
Five if you counted A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder), but that was
more a part of who he was as an individual than a burden.

	The list of his real curses started with his awful sense of
direction; a curse that affected all the Hibiki clan. It was a very
old and powerful curse that spanned the generations, and even
affected the wives of the Hibiki men. His mother was proof of this.
Why else would she have spent so much time away from home?

	Next came the Jusenkyou curse that had led him into the open arms of
Akane Tendo. It made him turn into a piglet in cold water, returning
to human form again only in hot water. It was like living life as
some deranged bath toy. And. It. Was. All. Ranma's. Fault.

	But now this new horror had struck him. He thought he knew suffering
before, but it was only one short month ago Ryouga came to understand
the true meaning of the word.

	He took another long swallow, to his disappointment the alcohol did
nothing to ease the turmoil he felt inside. 'Feeling sorry for
yourself has never helped anyone,' his own voice reminded. 'You've
been beaten, abused, and humiliated at every twist and turn in your
life. But you're still here, still standing, and most importantly
still fighting back. So suck it up and be a man.' But in the back of
his mind Ryouga doubted that he could ever be just a man again.
Regardless of the temperature of his bath water. Suddenly he twisted
in his chair, ready to leap back into a fighting stance if need be,
as a figure loomed over his table.

	"Hi there," Tomoko said as she settled down into the chair opposite
him. "This seat isn't taken is it?"

	"Ah... no it's not," Ryouga replied warily, unsure of what to make
of his unexpected visitor. He sensed she was not dangerous, but was
paranoid enough not to trust his instincts when feeling so emotional.
He would be sure to keep his guard up.

	"Good," she said. "I, ah... kinda got the feeling you're in a bad
way tonight, and could use a little camaraderie. I'm Tomoko Gongoro
by the way," she offered him her hand, but instantly regretted doing
so. She felt self conscious about the gesture, it seemed suddenly
awkward. But when she felt his hand squeeze hers firmly, she was
reassured. He had a surprisingly good grip too.

	"Ryouga, Ryouga Hibiki. A pleasure to meet you," he replied, and
tried not to eyeball the drinks she had brought. 'But,' he mused,
'It's better than what I have a real thirst for.'

	An uneasy, if not predictable silence ensued. Ryouga broke it when
he nervously polished off his last drink. Tomoko saw her opportunity
to chip away the conversational ice, "I brought a couple drinks, do
you want one?" She felt herself getting over her initial fears.

	"I'm sorry," Ryouga confessed loudly. "But I didn't catch a word of
that. It's this damn music. Tomoko was it?"

	"Yeah it is, I asked if you want one? It's on me," she said with
more volume, as she pushed one of the zombies she had brought with
her across the table. She of all people had forgotten to talk over
the music. Apparently she was still a trifle uneasy after all.

	"Thank you," he said as he politely accepted it. Then looked around
distastefully and added, "It's too bad we can't go outside to talk."

	It was plain to see how ill at ease he was, and regretted coming.
But until Ryouga said that, Tomoko thought maybe he resented her
forward attitude, and maybe he really wanted to be alone. Now he was
saying he wanted to be alone with her. In his downcast eyes she saw
how much he needed somebody, and how thankful he was for this small
gesture. And if she had her way, he'd be getting a lot more.

	She smiled at him and thought triumphantly, 'Lock up your sons,
Tomoko rides again!' She winced at her own bad pun.

	She had been celibate for over a year now, after a traumatically
close brush with Aids. For her the idea of sleeping with the
strangest men she could find, was almost as thrilling as the deed.

	But it turned out to be a much more dangerous thrill than she
wanted. Even after she knew beyond a reasonable doubt she was virus
free, she wouldn't go near a man. Everyone close to her was relieved,
thinking that at long last Tomoko had been scared straight.

	But tonight after many lonely months, lusty feelings clouded her
mind. She desperately wanted somebody to jumble her bones, and it
looked like it was this boy's lucky night. He'd have been even better
looking if he wasn't so heavily into the grunge look. Tomoko decided
she would have to explain it to him bluntly later on.

	'Kurt is dead,' she'd tell him. 'Get over it and move on with the
times.' It was surprising the bouncers had even let him through the
door.

	"You're right," she said over the music, still smiling broadly.
"This is no way to have a conversation. Let's go somewhere a little
quieter."

	Ryouga's eyes bulged at this. If he didn't know better, he'd almost
think she was coming onto him. In the very back of his mind a warning
bell went off. He leaned across the table for a closer look at her.
Short black hair in pigtails; not a long red ponytail, good. Real
earrings, also good. And her bust size was not even close. In fact
she looked nothing like Ranma in female form. It seemed too good to
be true. He was also proud of himself for having the presence of mind
to check.

	"Eyes higher please," Tomoko chided gently, finding his overreaction
to this nothing less than adorable. But he sure took his time, she'd
been trying to get him to notice the cleavage since sitting down.
"Come on grab your drink," she said and stood up motioning for him to
follow. "Let's talk in the back, it'll be easier."

	Ryouga followed her very carefully, glad to get away from all noise
and people. He thought mixing with people would help him fight the
cravings. That was what he'd been told, but inside amongst the crowds
he only felt weaker, and more tempted.

	Then disaster struck, suddenly and without warning (as it usually
does). Ryouga whipped his head left and right. 'Where did she go,' he
thought to himself as terror set in. He couldn't believe he had lost
her so quickly.

	Just as quickly as his panic attack began, it ended. Ryouga was
relived to feel a pull on the back of his shirt. "Where are you
going? It's this way." Tomoko dragged him through a black door marked
Staff Only.

^\^
 ^

	"He's got to be in here somewhere," the fat gaijin bouncer known as
Skinny said to his fellow club enforcer. A short, stocky, samurai
looking dude named Zataki.

	Although he was a smaller man than his colleague, and not as
actively aggressive, Zataki commanded more fear and awe from those
who knew him. He was know to be a much more skilful fighter, and to
keep a cooler head when trouble started. While Zataki felt Skinny
might have had that beating coming, this street kid would still have
to be taken care of on general principle.

	Normally if someone was stupid enough to start something with a
bouncer, an example was easily made of him. They needed respect and
fear from the kids who patronised the clubs to maintain order. But if
some fought and won, he had to be dealt with instantly and
mercilessly. If people ever realised that a bouncer was human, and
not an indestructible heartless monster, he lost the ability to
maintain order. And in addition, gave an open invitation for revenge
for any old grievances of well deserved beatings. Ruling through fear
could be a real pain in the ass. "What's he look like?" Zataki asked.

	"Yellow and black bandanna, backpack, umbrella, and filthy clothes.
When you see him you'll know it," and that said they started to
search the club.

^\^
 ^

	Tomoko and Ryouga sat on two empty crates near the delivery doors.
With the better light Tomoko admired Ryouga's body, it wasn't bad, he
looked well built. She didn't get to see much skin, but that would
change.

	As they talked Ryouga seemed to get more and more agitated, as she
became more and more affectionate. 'Obviously a virgin,' she deduced
sadly. 'Why didn't I see it before. Still breaking this one in might
be fun, and I'd be doing women everywhere a favour. He's too good
looking to waste.'

	This was the logic she always used in such situations. She
considered herself a teacher, guiding young men into a wonderful new
world they never knew. Everyone else thought she was a blindly
optimistic slut. Regardless, she knew virgins where always
exceptionally thankful. With a few of the right words, they would be
more than happy to lick and lick and lick.. The thought of this made
her eyes sparkle with delight.

	Ryouga on the other hand was in total agony, but for once the source
of Ryouga's discomfort was not the feminine attention. The cravings
were getting unbearable, stomach cramps, dry mouth, his throat
burned, and his even teeth itched. And to his amazement this girl was
all over him.

	'Don't flatter yourself,' a voice scowled from the back of his mind.
'Who would come onto you? Who could ever love you?' Ryouga did and
didn't recognise the voice. It was same voice that always beat him
down from the inside. It could have been Ranma's, his father's, any
of the bullies who had ravaged his life. Truth be told it was the
voice of his worst enemy, his own.

	Then it happened, everything came to an unexpected halt, a near
perfect silence froze the air. Tomoko put a hand on his shoulder, and
he looked deep into her eyes. Her lips moved softly, and Ryouga knew
she had spoken to him and invited him to join her once her shift was
over. In her apartment. He knew what Tomoko had said but he hadn't
heard it. Ryouga could only hear on thing. It drown out her voice,
the pounding noise from the club, even his stuttering reply. The
clawing needs inside him started fading away, lullabied away by the
gentle throb of her heart.

	She nuzzled closer to him wrapping an arm around his neck, and
looked at him with a half smile and half closed eyes, inviting a
passionate kiss. He returned her embrace, crushing her body close to
his. Ryouga parted his lips, revealing his gleaming fangs, which were
a little longer and sharper than usual. All he could hear was the
pulse of her heart, all he could see was her slender neck. He leaned
closer, his mouth opening wider....

	Ryouga gasped and reeled away from her at the last second, shocked
at what he had almost done to her. Blind with panic he darted through
the first door he saw.

	It was the service entrance, and he found himself outside again.
Before he could even feel relief to get away, the hunger inside him
flaring painfully, as if to punish him for his compassionate self
denial.

	As the door slammed shut behind him, Tomoko's eyes bulged. He'd
turned her down! Why? Did he go through all that just to make her
feel foolish? She quivered with rage, he had almost looked scared of
her. No, not scared, absolutely horrified. Or was he laughing when he
ran out? She was hurt, and very confused, still horny, but most of
all pissed right off.

	"You... you... tease!" she hissed at the closed door through
clenched teeth. 

	Outside behind the club Ryouga was in agony, his need for blood
pushing him past reason. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a stray
dog sniffing at a pile of garbage. Before the animal could even twist
it's head, Ryouga was on top of it, sinking in his fangs.

	The taste that poured into his mouth was wretched. But desperate not
to become a killer, Ryouga forced himself to swallow every repulsive
mouthful.

	At length he dropped the dead mongrel dog, and slumped against the
brick wall of the alley. He felt nauseous, as the dog's blood churned
in his stomach. The taste was next to unbearable, and Ryouga hoped he
could keep it down. Slowly the unnatural hunger subsided.

	His life was at an all time low. Grimly he realised 'life' didn't
apply to him any more. As much as he wanted to blame this on Saotome,
he couldn't. For once he knew it was Ryouga Hibiki who had brought
disaster to Ryouga Hibiki. When he'd been offered power, he had
accepted it without even asking what it was.

	He never saw it coming. He never saw her leap from shadow to shadow,
nor did he hear a sound. Ryouga doubled over in pain as a foot
slammed hard into his stomach, very hard and repeatedly. Ryouga felt
the dogs blood rising in his throat, he lifted his head to look at
his attacker, an early middle aged woman. He recognised her
instantly. Wearing the same long dark kimono he had thought he'd
never see again. And had that been the case, he would have been
happy.

	"Spit it out!" she hissed taking a handful of unwashed hair jerking
his head backward, enraged. "Spit it all out, you disgrace me!" This
command was emphasised as another pointed boot slammed into his gut.

	The woman quickly stepped away to a safe distance as Ryouga
obediently began to retch, flooding the alley with dogs blood.

	Once he stopped vomiting she spoke again, still infuriated, "It has
been twenty eight days since I gave you the gift. A day and a half
less than the full cycle of the moon. Tonight your change is
complete, and what do you?" the older vampire snarled not waiting for
an answer. "You break the only condition I gave you! You were not so
scared of killing when I found you," gripping his hair once more, she
pulled him back up to his full height, and cracked his head
mercilessly into the brick wall behind him.

	Ryouga willed away the pain, and looked into her eyes and tried to
think of anything he could have done to infuriate her this way. "I
did what you told me to," he sputtered and spit the last of the dog's
blood on the ground.

	"What do you call that!" she screeched and pointed at the dead cur.
She looked into his eyes as well, and was both pleased and angered to
see no fear behind them. "None of my creation drinks the blood of
animals!"

	"You just told me not to leave the city. 'Never stray from the
mortals,' you said. 'They are what will keep you as you were
before.'," he quoted, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.
Not leaving Tokyo for a month had been a trial unto itself. He didn't
dare to walk on grass, and ran away every time he saw a tree. Yet he
still managed to find himself in the countryside every few days.

	The other vampire looked at him confused by his words. She let go of
his hair and grimaced as it sunk in, she had been too poetic to be
understood again. "I see Ryouga, I was partly at fault here. I spoke
in riddles before," she said after a moment, her voice softer now.
Her next words however, sliced through him as if they were her sword.
"A better phrasing might have been, 'You are what you eat'."

^\^
 ^

	Tomoko was still sitting on the same empty crate sulking, when
Skinny and Zataki came into the receiving area. "Where is he?" Skinny
demanded.

	"He who, Skinny?" Tomoko snapped back, noticing two wads of cotton
in his nose. She never liked the guy, or understood his reverse
nickname, preferring to think of him as simply 'the fat  prick I have
to work with'.

	"The fucking homeless spastic you dragged back here! Ya shameless
little jizzam sucker!" Skinny shouted.

	Zataki frowned, he was bothered by the way his friend constantly
shammed Tomoko. He decided to embarrass him right back, "Skinny has
to pay the guy back for knocking him cold outside the club," Zataki
informed her. He shouldn't talk to Tomoko like that, even if it was
true. Skinny glared at him, yes the truth hurt Skinny too. But Zataki
doubted the connection would be made by Skinny. His I.Q. was about as
high as Tomoko's sexual ethics.

	"Got ya did he? At least he was good for something," Tomoko mumbled
under her breath. "He left through the service entrance. Probably
long gone. I'm going back to work," she said, and she did.

	Skinny punted open the service door, and stepped outside. He saw the
vagrant, and a strange woman talking. "You've had it now cuntchy," he
shouted at Ryouga. (Is cuntchy even a real word?)

	Sensing something was amiss, Zataki grabbed the bokken he kept by
the door in case of emergencies. He liked to keep one stashed at each
entrance for this sort of thing. Gripping the wooden sword in both
hands he followed Skinny cautiously out the door. Once outside he saw
a woman arguing with who could only be the dangerous drifter.

	"Don't worry Mrs.," Zataki said calmly, trying to settle her down.
"He won't be bothering anyone else for a while. Better get going
though, this isn't for your eyes." 'The bastard's probably after
whatever is in that long package,' he deduced.

	The two vampires looked at the two bouncers, then back at each
other. "Tonight you will have your first lessons of living in
darkness," she said quietly to him. "Your first lesson should have
been 'The Hunt', but it seems we shall go directly to the second."

	"That being 'The Kill'?" Ryouga asked flatly.

	She nodded, whispering that it was a pretty straight forward lesson,
and smiled ever so slightly. Perhaps in approval, or perhaps at a
small irony only she could appreciate. They turned and watched as
their opponents ran to meet their deaths.

	Blind with rage, the fat Gaijin rushed Ryouga. The intent being to
smash him just like a bug into the wall behind him. It was a tactic
Ryouga was familiar with, having often tried it on Ranma with similar
results.

	Ryouga snagged a hold of his charging attacker/victim's arm and
pivoted on his heel, using Skinny's momentum in addition to his own
frightful strength to slam him into the wall face first. A hard blow
to the jaw followed, which shattered under the impact sending teeth
flying like shrapnel, and spraying the wall with gore. The next punch
probably put the fat boy in a coma.

	Zataki on the other hand, was worried about the well dressed woman,
who didn't seem to understand the danger she was in. Interested more
in her safety than Skinny's revenge he ran toward her. The intent
being to grab her by the arm, and drag her away from the fight.

	As compensation for his concern and effort on her behalf, she lashed
his hand aside using inhuman speed. Then took a firm hold of head
with both hands, and clamped her fangs into his jugular. Pressing her
lips tightly around the wound, so not a single scarlet drop was
allowed to spill on her dark gown or to the ground at her feet.

	The hunger was erupting inside him, a veritable geyser of pain,
dryness and craving. In what was either a moment of weakness, or his
inevitable surrender, Ryouga went for the fat man's neck. Then
stopped, and hesitated one last time. Remembering his creators
warning, he looked up at her questioningly.

	She understood his concern. "Don't worry, gaijin are safe to feed
from," she said and went back to her meal. Leaving Ryouga to start
his.

	The relief of human blood ended his pain, and soothed his troubled
mind. This relief was soon replaced by bliss, and a seductive feeling
of power. As he finished feeding, this feeling continued to blossom
inside him. He understood instinctively that he had a choice, he
could go with the power and let it flow through him, or push it deep
into himself. Ryouga chose to explore the new sensation.

	He felt stronger and faster than he had ever been, but that was not
what fascinated him. The world took on new dimensions, he could see
clearly in dark, and could feel the darkness around him. It was as if
he could simply melt into it, and he did. Ryouga's senses worked
together as one in a way they never had in life.

	"You have made your choice for tonight," the woman said, noticing
him fade in and out of the shadows around him, flexing his powers the
way a new born does it's muscles for the first time. "Every time you
take a life you have to elect on one of two paths. You can be a god
by night, or a mortal the next day. But remember while mortality may
seem like the more ethical choice, it will only drive you to kill
more often. That is the price for seeing the sun."

	Ryouga's guilt crashed back down on his shoulders like a punishment
from God. Kill more often. Kill more. Kill. He was a killer and would
continue to be for all eternity. A long pause ensued. He could not
look at her, only at the corpse at his feet. "There's no easy way out
of this, is there?" Ryouga finally said quietly.

	Nodoka reached down to pick up her katana, having dropped it during
the struggle with Zataki. "There's no way out of it at all Ryouga. No
way out at all."

_________________________________________________________
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From: Jamie Seaman 
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Subterranean Nerima Nightlife 2

Subterranean Nerima Nightlife
Chapter 2: Shampoo and Kodachi's Tale

I said goddamn, goddamn the Pusher
Steppenwolf 'The Pusher'


	Kodachi lay on her bed seized by convulsions, Shampoo stood nearby,
paralysed by indecision and panic. Kodachi was forcing herself to
keep breathing regardless of the pain each gasp brought her.

	Shampoo didn't know what to do, her friend would die without medical
attention, but Shampoo was an illegal immigrant in Japan and could
not have anything to do with the police. But then again her friend
was dying.... At length her tiny mind formed a clear plan that would
both A) save her conscience, and B) keep her from being deported. And
maybe even C) save Kodachi with a little luck. All she had to do was
call for the ambulance then split before it arrived.

	She reached for Kodachi's cell phone on the dresser and started
dialling, nothing happened. Then she turned it on and started
dialling again. She waited a few seconds, then a few seconds more.
Still nothing happened, except Kodachi started to twitch more
violently and was staring at the amazon desperately.

	"Aiya! Stupid phone no break now! No break now!" Shampoo squealed,
and rushed to her friends side. "Kodachi, quick, how phone work?
Should Shampoo press nine to dial out like at Nekohanten?"

	Kodachi's arm lashed out knocking the phone out of Shampoo's hands,
more out of luck than anything. "No... get serum #27..... from the
k-kit," she managed to whisper. Shampoo understood and reached under
the large Victorian bed.

	She pulled out a very big black handbag, the kind doctors used to
carry on house calls. Shampoo unzipped it and took out a polished
wooden box. Inside were three rows of needles, each neatly labelled.
Shampoo grabbed #27 in one hand, and the silk cord Kodachi had used
only moments earlier in the other. Tying the cord around her friends
arm tightly took a lot of effort, even for Shampoo. By now Kodachi
was thrashing all her limbs around in a extremely violent fashion. It
was as if she was holding onto an electric fence, and couldn't let
go. But somehow Shampoo managed to tie it, and the veins started to
expand.

	Shampoo popped the plastic guard off the needle, and was about to
plunge it into a swollen vein when she remembered something.
Something in a movie that dealt with a similar situation... What was
it called... Ah yes, Pulp Fiction. She knew she could trust Hollywood
to get the facts straight.

	"Shampoo need to give shot in heart, yes?"

	"NO!" Kodachi howled. "P-p-please .....arm...." she trailed off
hopelessly. She wasn't strong enough to say it out loud, but inside
Kodachi was praying and she swore a promise to God. As she lay on her
bed feeling the life slip out of her, she prayed harder and more
sincerely than she ever had in her life. For the first time it seemed
like there was someone listening on the other end, she felt the
presence of some greater power, and felt that it understood.

	And to this God she had never known, she prayed that Shampoo would
get this right and save her. But that was not all; if Shampoo screwed
it up, Kodachi begged to be allowed to return to earth one last time.
And have her vengeance on the Amazon, vengeance from beyond the
grave. As an afterthought, she asked for forgiveness of her sins, now
just might be a good time to do that sort of thing.

	Shampoo watched as the effect of the second shot hit Kodachi. She
stopped thrashing, and curled up into the fetal position, gasping
loudly for air, gulping the air the same way person does after nearly
drowning. Eventually Kodachi regained enough of her disposition to
speak.

	"This," she panted slowly. "This... is not... I repeat not... a
FUCKING MOVIE, SHAMPOO!"

	Kodachi had hoped to hurt Shampoo's feelings by snapping at her like
that. Instead Shampoo flipped her the bird and said, "Shampoo tell
you so. No should shoot up stupid girl, and if you no want Shampoo's
help fine. No ask for help next time O.D.ing." 

	Shampoo turned to the dresser again, and noticed that her zippo was
still flaring, and that her heroin was almost all gone. Cursing in
Chinese, she picked up her funnel wanting to enjoy what little was
left.

	Suddenly a gymnastic pin smashed into her works. "Shampoo don't!
It's poison, poison!"

	Shampoo looked at her friend as if she had gone mad, "Kodachi really
one to talk! You no tell Shampoo how to live her life." She snapped
her zippo shut, Kodachi could go clean if she wanted, but first she
owed Shampoo a fix big time.

	"I'm not preaching darling, and I didn't overdose. It really is
poisoned. That bastard slipped us hot shots, he tried to kill us."

	"Hot shots?" Shampoo asked. Kodachi explained to her that a hot shot
was a dose of heroin laced with a toxic substance, usually
strychnine. Luckily, Kodachi had built up a degree of immunity to
many poisons including strychnine. If she hadn't she would have died
quietly, and Shampoo would have died from smoking the poison. But
even with her immunity, she never would have survived without the
help of serum #27. Kodachi never dreamed she would have to use it on
herself.

	Kodachi rummaged though the drug kit, taking a few select pills to
speed her recovery, and ease the pain in her stomach and chest.

	Unfortunately for Shampoo they didn't have any more smack, and she
really wanted some. Although the hot shot had nearly killed Kodachi
at least it relived her withdrawal. With no choice but to make due,
she took a couple T4's to take the edge off, and some bennies to put
a new one on. It was time in their opinion, to pay an unpleasant
visit to a certain dealer. But first, and with no small amount of
embarrassment, Kodachi had to shower and change her leotard. It was
messy to say the very least.

^\^
 ^

	"Hello Ryouga," the small skinny youth said, walking up to the lost
boy from his dim hiding place.

	"Uh, hello," Ryouga said back, trying to remember the guy's name. He
was a weasel, he remembered that much. "How have you been?"

	"Very well as of late, thank you. May I speak with you a moment?"

	"I don't see why not," Ryouga replied out of habit. "I was just
going for a walk. What's on your mind?" Not that he really cared.

	"Tell me," the boy said as he smiled glancing downward, feigning
embarrassment. "Tell me, you despise me don't you?"

	'Might as well be honest,' Ryouga figured. "Well I suppose if I gave
you any thought I would...."

	The little rodent shrugged and chuckled, "I thought as much. You
know Ryouga I have many a friend in Nerima, but for some reason, just
because you despise me, you are the only one I can trust," he
produced a brown paper envelope. "Could you please keep this for me,
until I can reclaim it?"

	Ryouga didn't move, but stared at him coldly. Quickly the boy added,
"It's nothing illegal or even valuable, as you can well see for
yourself."

	Ryouga took it and peeked inside, just some very advanced
mathematical equations he couldn't understand, and written notes he
couldn't be bothered to read. "Okay I'll keep it for you, but for how
long? I'm not an easy person to find sometimes," Ryouga warned,
assuming someone was after the kid's homework.

	"Yes, but that will be my problem not yours. Goodnight, and thank
you for your time," he said and shuffled away.

	Gosunkugi breathed a little easier as Ryouga walked away with the
package, but not much. He really needed to unwind, much more of this
and he would redefine the term strung out. The best way he knew of
was with a trip to Ukyou's Okonomiyaki. Once his life had been hell
because he was helpless. After magic failed him, he tired another
route to gain fear and respect from his peers. It worked alright, but
now he had much worse bullies to deal with, and a whole new group of
'peers' to impress.

	He walked into the nearly empty restaurant, and went straight to the
counter. Ukyou nodded at him, and he placed his order. "I'd like the
okonomiyaki house special number one, for one please," he said in his
quiet nervous way.

	"Would Sir like to dine in the upstairs section this evening?" Ukyou
asked, smiling and winking slyly to let him know he was welcome.

	"Yes," he mumbled grinning slightly, looking a little bit like Peter
Lorre. "That would be nice. I assume you have a uh.. shall we say,
table available?"

	"For you? Always. Let me show you to it," Ukyou said and led him
into the back and upstairs. He was presented with the first door they
came to. "Your 'waitress' should be with you shortly," Ukyou said.
"In fact she's already there, eager to take your order."

	Ukyou always made him feel welcome, of course that was why everyone
goes to Uchan's. Still he waited until she had left to let himself
in. The tiny room behind it was scummy to say the least, it reeked of
semen, and wads of tissues littered the floor. It was illuminated
only by a black light and violet lava lamp. It had a window, but it
was painted over in black. There was nothing else in it but an unmade
bed, chair, and one lone forsaken figure.

	Gosunkugi smiled rarely, and when he did it was a cruel and wicked
smile. That night he smiled at the poor creature stretched out on the
bed, and licked his yellow neglected teeth. He admired the long hair,
and crumpled dirty school girl's uniform. After a long greedy look,
he gave his 'order'. Now he was where he wanted to be, in control as
he should. Now it was someone else's turn to be afraid.

	Hands trembling, Tsubasa did as he (she) was told and got down on
his knees, and started to suck Gosunkugi off. He would never get used
to it, but it was the only way Ukyou would let him stay with her. If
the only way he could stay near Ukyou meant selling his body so be
it, he loved her that much. 'Uchan's Discount Stroke and Skull,' he
thought bitterly.

	"Slower," Gosunkugi growled and put his hands around Tsubasa's neck,
leisurely squeezing it. A tear slipped down the cross dresser's
cheek, landing on cruel hands. 'Nice touch, I'm starting to like this
girl. She's the real sensitive type," he thought to himself.
Ironically believing exactly what Tsubasa wanted everyone to believe.
That was his revenge, it gave him a little thread of sanity to cling
to. Except for those few Ukyou let in who knew he was a boy, and
didn't mind. The inner circle she called them, with these he had to
use more than his lips and hands.

	Gosunkugi was just starting to enjoy himself when suddenly the
window exploded in a hail storm of painted glass, and the room was
filled with a cyclone of rose petals. Black rose petals, and a sound
that iced his blood and dissolved his erection.

	"Oh-whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!" Kodachi cackled as she somersaulted through
the smashed window. She landed in perfect form in the middle of the
room, her black robe flowing around her. "There you are darling, I've
been looking for you absolutely everywhere.... Oops.... I do hope I'm
not interrupting anything."

	She should have been dead. Nobody could have detected that
strychnine until it was too late. And nobody could have survived such
a large dose. Gosunkugi pushed Tsubasa backward into Kodachi and made
a mad dash for the door, forgetting entirely about his dangling
member. The door budged open a crack when he pulled, but then it
slammed closed again. Someone was holding it shut, he pulled harder
with the same result.

	"Whoever you are, open this door!" he screamed, his voice cracking
with panic. "Don't f-fuck with me, you'll be sorry!" Indeed, after
all he had a sharp nail and wasn't afraid to use it. Then the door
opened, making him wish it hadn't as two contemptuously bored eyes
bore into him.

	".... aiya.... Gosunkugi too skilled for Shampoo," the Amazon said
sarcastically as she leaned against the door frame. Death gleamed in
her vacant eyes, and it was obvious whose it would be. "Shampoo no
want to fuck wit YOU, den she be so-ooh-rh-eee..." Shampoo sneered.

	Tsubasa sprinted around Gosunkugi, and Shampoo idly decided to let
him get away. Shampoo stepped into the room and closed the door. The
two enraged marital artists loomed over him. "Kill me and you'll
never know why," he squeaked. It was one of the more intelligent
things he ever said.

	"Goodness gracious! You mean YOU had something to do with those bad
hits we got?," Kodachi mocked.

	"I-I'll tell you e-everything, if you promise not to h-hurt me,"
Gosunkugi said backing towards the window. "Deal?" The universal deal
of the cowardly.

	"I, Kodachi Kuno the Black Rose of St. Herebeke School for Girls,
swear to you on my honour as a member of the House of Kuno, you will
be treated with all the respect, and safety of your person that is
due to one such as yourself, while within our custody," Kodachi said
putting her right hand on her heart, the other in the air, and caring
not about the length of her run-on sentence.

	"Now where did I put it?" she murmured and started rummaging though
her mantle's numerous hidden pockets and compartments, making
menacing clanking noises as she went.

	Shampoo answered him with an extra thick accent, and a comical look
of innocence on her face, "Sorry... no speak-i Japanese...." This was
one of those promises her honour would not let her make; Amazon law
specifically stated no giving false hope to the condemned.

	Gosunkugi knew how much honour meant to Kodachi at the best of
times, and didn't care if that was Shampoo's idea of a joke. He
grasped what they were insinuating, he was doomed to an unpleasant
crippling night and probably death. "I didn't have a choice, you have
to believe me..." he started crying, an understandable reaction.

	"Ah, here they are," Kodachi announced and pulled out a barbarous
piece of metal, a gag, and shackles. In a flash he was secured to the
chair, and laughing her insane laugh, she started at what was both
her job and her hobby.

	It wasn't long before Shampoo was turning green, and had to leave
the room. She knew torture was necessary, but was sickened by how
Kodachi went about it. She was having way to much fun. Shampoo
wondered how long it would be before Kodachi finished her warm-up and
started asking questions.

	But Shampoo did not find peace in the hall way, instead she was
greeted by more violence. Ukyou had Tsubasa against the wall and was
laying a fearsome bitch slapping on him. A smirking Konatsu, scantily
clad in tight green leather leaned against the wall and watched.

	"What do you mean 'Calling the police'!? You never EVER call the
Filth from here. I don't care if your date gets his ticket cancelled,
as long as they leave you alone it doesn't matter! Well? What do you
have to say for yourself? Huh jackass!?" Ukyou shouted as she
viciously slapped his spilt lips and bloody nose.

	"And you! What are you smiling at!?" Ukyou said turning to Konatsu.
"You think I don't see you there? Getch yer ass back to work or
you're next!" Konatsu shrugged and walked away casually, confident
that it was an empty threat. Konatsu knew being the favourite meant
being safe.

	"I said move goddamn it, don't make me get my pimp stick!" Ukyou
yelled. Konatsu stopped strutting and broke into a run. Ukyou was
really pissed tonight, and that pimp stick/spatula HURT big time.

	Shampoo tried to figure out how she felt about Ukyou's treatment of
her staff, as she half listened to the conversation. It seemed
heartless and uncalled for, but then she realised it was the same way
she treated Mousse without hesitation. But of course that was
different, Mousse always had it coming.

	Her attention was brought back to more important matters when
Kodachi opened the door. She opened her mouth to speak but the
ungagged Gosunkugi beat her to it. "Ukyou! Ukyou, help me, save me!
You've got to do something.... Ukyooooou!" Kodachi ran back to the
chair and stuffed the gag back into his mouth.

	She closed the door cutting off his muffled cries for help entirely.
Ukyou had no choice but to get Tsubasa and Konatsu's rooms
sound-proofed a long time ago. After all, downstairs people were
trying to eat, and Japanese walls were like paper.

	Shampoo looked at Ukyou, "Shampoo sure hope you help more, if
Shampoo need it."

	"I stick my neck out for nobody," Ukyou said flatly.

	"Shampoo darling, I think you want to hear this for yourself,"
Kodachi looked pale and seemed drained. Normally she had more energy
than anyone in any given situation.

	Ukyou let go of Tsubasa, and looked at Kodachi. "Aren't you
forgetting something?" she asked and extended her palm.

Kodachi:  Ah yes. Good evening Ukyou, you're referring to payment to
the proprietor for information given, and damages done I assume?

Ukyou:	What damages?!

Shampoo: Kodachi break window.

Ukyou:	What! Why?

Kodachi:  You didn't think my entrance would be anything less than
dramatic did you? And if I didn't burst in like I did, he wouldn't
have panicked. Then Shampoo's entrance would have been
anti-climactic.

Shampoo: (thoughtfully) Working with door new experience for Shampoo.
First Shampoo wants more to bash through wall, but Kodachi change
Shampoo's mind. Was different, may use door again someday.... And why
you goes all red? All Kodachi did do is break window.

Ukyou:	Tsubasa can't use the room like that! Everyone can see in, the
cops will come! People will figure out his 'Secret'. And damned if
he's gonna use my room. If he can't work, I lose the income he would
have brought in!

Kodachi:  Work? Look at him! He's a bloody bruised mess darling. He
couldn't work anymore tonight regardless. (To Tsubasa) Does she
always beat you like this dearie?

Tsubasa:  (Sobbing) Not in the face... No, not often...

	Kodachi pulled out a wad of yen and flicked it at Ukyou, the bills
flaked apart in the air and floated to the ground. Ukyou knew she had
been insulted, but was not about to go up against Kodachi and Shampoo
at the same time. She knew when to choose her battles. She snapped
her fingers at Tsubasa and pointed down, obediently he started
collecting the money from off the floor and gave it to her.

	Back in the room Kodachi put a bladed gymnastic hoop to Gosunkugi's
throat. "Not a word darling, don't even breathe loud," she said as
she ungagged him. "Now tell Shampoo what you told me; tell her who
gave the order."

	Gosunkugi swallowed hard, "It was Tofu. It was all Doctor Tofu's
idea."

	"Huh?" Shampoo said in perfect Japanese. 'Huh' being the only word
she had mastered so far. "Weirdo boy thinks is funny? Or thinks that
we stupid?" Shampoo put her hand on the side of his head so her palm
was over his ear, and her thumb was pressed to his eye. "Who send
you? Tell truth now..."

	"He is darling, I can tell. Don't ask me how I can be so sure, but I
know it's the truth."

	"Kodachi mean he no dare lie after you hurt so bad," Shampoo said.
"We go. Weirdo boy we kill now."

	"Hey!" Ukyou shouted. She had opened the door and been listening
anonymously. "You're not killing anyone in here. That wasn't part of
the deal."

	"He must die for what he's done to us," Kodachi declared. "His
betrayal is unforgivable."

	"Okay kill him if you have to, but you two better take care of the
body. I won't be the one to clean up after you," Ukyou said with a
sneer.

	"Shampoo no have time to dump body. And no want Mousse involved."

	"And it's Sasuke's annual night off..." Kodachi added. "I suppose we
should go Shampoo." Then inspiration struck, "But first do that 911
brainwash thing of yours."

	"Why? What you want to forget?" Shampoo asked.

	"On him darling, use it on him." Kodachi sighed. Shampoo understood
and gave Gosunkugi the 911 treatment, thus tying up one of the many
loose ends.

_________________________________________________________
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From: a_wasteaway@yahoo.com
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Subterranean Nerima Nightlife 3


Subterranean Nerima Nightlife
Chapter 3: Tofu's Tale

I'm a Killer and I'm a Clown
Alice Cooper 'Desperado'


	"But things have been so quiet this week, with Ranma, Father,
and Mr. Saotome away on their training expedition," Kasumi said to Dr.
Tofu, as he handed her a cup of tea, and sat down to join her.

	He was glad she came over so late in the evening, he was sick of
having to do his 'Lunatic Doctor' routine just so they could have some
privacy. "That's not why I'm worried Kasumi. No your family isn't the
problem, it's my family. Things are going to get messy in Nerima soon,
and if my enemies found out about us, and they would, they might use
your safety as a weapon against me."

	There was a long pause between them. "How much longer, Ono? How
much longer until your family keeps it's promise, and lets you go back
to being the Doctor I fell in love with?" tears swelled up in Kasumi's
eyes as she asked this.

	"Another year, maybe two. Then we can be married, and we will be
away from all that forever," Dr. Tofu said quietly. "But that isn't the
issue right now. We need to keep you safe, I want you to leave for a few
weeks until this blows over."

	"Leave Nerima? Leave my family? I couldn't, I just couldn't do
that. And why? Between you, Ranma, and Akane, how could I not be safe?"

	"You wouldn't be. Ranma is a good martial artist, very good, but
he's still just a hotshot kid. He's not a killer like these men will be.
And I can't be near you at every moment, not when I'll be in the middle
of it all. Try to understand," Tofu said gently and stroked her cheek
and hair.

	"I try and I try and I try, but I can't. I don't think I'll ever
understand why you can't choose your own fate."

	"None of us can, Kasumi. Least of all men like me." He opened
his black shirt revealing the massive colourful tattoo that spanned
almost all of his upper body like a jacket. "Not that many years ago if
this was discovered it would have cost me my life. I had no choice in
becoming what I am, and when we fell in love, you understood it then."

	"But that was so, so... long ago..." Kasumi was confused and
scared by what their life together had become. She hated to see such a
kind and gentle man forced into such a horrible life.

	"But you have to leave Japan, my people have already begun to
make the arrangements. Congratulations, you're about to win an all
expense paid trip to anywhere you want. You and a friend, so you won't
be lonely."

	Kasumi was crying now, and he held her tightly trying to comfort
her. Each of her hushed sobs felt like an acupuncture needle through his
heart. "I-I'll be lonely without you and my family no matter what. And I
will age twenty years just from worrying about you," she said as her
weeping subsided.

	"Please don't do that Kasumi," he said and forced a diplomatic
smile. "I don't know if our relationship could survive that kind of age
difference." Dr. Tofu wanted to tell her that he was in no danger, but
for some reason he didn't. Maybe it was because he couldn't lie to her,
or maybe because it would only make her worry more.

	The pain in his heart was eased by the sound of Kasumi's tender
laugh. He kissed her gently, and was surprised when she kissed him back
more passionately, and pulled his open shirt off his shoulders.

	Before long they were grinding against each other recklessly,
and fell to the kitchen floor tearing each others clothes off. No one in
Nerima would have guessed Kasumi was excited by Doctor Tofu because he
was dangerous. Not even Kasumi and Tofu.

^\^
 ^

	Shampoo and Kodachi burst through the wall of the clinic, and
found an exhausted, naked, and rather gooey couple falling asleep at
their feet. Shampoo gawked, while Kodachi tried to take it in stride.

	"Tofu, you are lucky that your last moments on earth were spent
in a lovers embrace. But now you embrace eternity!" she yelled and
pounced on him and Kasumi, with the bloodiest of intentions.

	"Uh, yeah!" Shampoo added, trying to get back into the spirit of
things. "Shampoo gonna rip you a new one, Mr. M.D.!"

^\^
 ^

	Floccinaucinihilipilification; the longest non-scientific word
in the English language. It's definition; the art of or being of
nothing. This word was one of the many pieces of trivia Ryouga had
picked up during his travels. There had been times when he'd felt like
nothing, and when he'd felt nothing. But now he'd raised his nothingness
to an art.

	He was a soulless bastard child of the night, a forced that
killed only to prolong it's unholy existence. A parasite feeding on the
essence of civilisation, always taking and giving nothing in return.
Feeling empty and hollow had never hurt like this before.

	Nodoka was babbling on about the importance of hiding the
bodies, and keeping their lives a secret at all costs. He was only half
listening. They had already dealt with the fat bouncer's corpse. Nodoka
had slashed his throat carefully through the bite marks, and dropped him
face down over a storm drain. When he was found it would be assumed that
his throat had been cut, and all the blood had run down into the sewage
system, mixing with the regurgitated dogs blood.

	They took the second body with them, carrying it along between
them by the shoulders like a passed out drunk. They dragged the cadaver
a short distance to her car, dumping it in the back seat. Nodoka wanted
to show off her favourite method of disposal to Ryouga.

	The car stopped at a funeral home just outside the Nerima
district. Ryouga dragged Zataki's body and followed Nodoka through a
secret tunnel under the grounds keeper's tool shed. Nodoka explained
that the crematorium had to be run continuously for ten days and allowed
to cool for four, and how easy it was to flush the ashes, how perfect it
all was. Ryouga didn't care, he just nodded blankly and tossed the body
in the furnace. Nodoka guestimated the body's weight and set the timer
accordingly.

	As Ryouga effortlessly flung Zataki's remains into the chamber,
he whimsically filched the wallet and slammed the door shut. Grimly he
thumbed through it's contents, and pocketed the few thousand yen inside.
A picture caught his eye, it was of a young girl sitting on Zataki's
shoulders. "To my favourite Uncle" was written on back of the photo in
childish scribbles.

	Ryouga closed the wallet and tossed it into the fire, keeping
the picture to torture himself. Racked with agonising guilt he thought
about the little girl, and everyone else who would miss this man.

	"What have I done? What have I become?" he whispered. He sensed
motion outside near the tiny box window above him. "What was that?"

^\^
 ^

	As fate would have it the list of mourners would include
Tatewaki Kuno, who had seen enough. He gripped his bokken tightly and
waited for the pair of murderers to emerge from the funeral home and
feel his vengeance. The killers of his most noble friend and Kendo
team-mate would pay with their lives. He longed for the sword of his
forefathers with which to split their blood, but his bokken would have
to suffice. He felt an aching knot growing in his throat, and tears
began streaking his regal visage. No, this would not do, this was not
the time to grieve but to avenge.

	Kuno breathed deeply and focused, trying to cleanse himself of
confusing emotions. For once it worked, grief, anger, and the buzz of
unanswerable questions all faded from him. Only a fierce determination
remained, and a cold calm overtook the Blue Thunder. His face paled and
his eyes were dry and calm. He stood motionless in the dark keeping a
perfect stance, waiting.

^\^
 ^

	Meanwhile back at the crematorium, Nodoka had settled down into
a chair in the hall way, and was absorbed in that month's Cosmo quiz;
"Did Your Man Cheat Before the Marriage?" Not surprisingly she found
Genma was in the C and D categories more often than not. If only she'd
had this fine example of pop psychology say sixteen or seventeen years
ago, so much might have been different.

	No years of loneliness praying for the postcards and letters he
sent, which were few and far between. No ugly jealousy when her friends
introduced her to their families, only for her to return home and make
dinner for one. No Sarah McLachlan albums. And maybe, just maybe, No
*Vampirism!*

	But soon things would be different. Ranma, also a victim of his
father would be reunited with his mother, and Genma would be made to
keep his promise. Ryouga was the perfect tool, and now that she had him
under her control, the cards were all in place for her to take revenge
on her husband. It was not enough that Genma die, first he had to be
emotionally destroyed.

	Just then as if summoned by her thoughts, Ryouga rambled into
the hall way. He looked to his left directly at Nodoka then to his
right, and finally left again. "Oh there you are Sensei," he said, only
using the title because he had been told to. "I've been looking all over
for you."

	She looked up from her magazine and asked irritably, "What is it
Ryouga?"

	"Uh, where's the door again? I need to go outside, and check
something out."

	"Don't even bother with the tunnel. Just go straight, straight
mind you, down the hall," she said pointing to the right. "To those
stairs, you can see them from here. Go up them and out the glass door on
the right, it's not locked on the inside, but after you leave you can't
get back in, so just wait for me in the car. Understood? Stomp once for
yes, and twice for no."

	Ryouga swallowed the insult and slowly started walking down the
hall, avoiding the temptation to even look down the other halls or at
the doors he passed, sweating heavily from the intensity of effort
required. He reached the stairs and began climbing. After one flight the
staircase ended and he found himself with a choice. To his left was a
wooden door and to his right a glass door leading outside. Which one
should he take? Then inspiration struck, and he reached for the obvious
choice of door handles.

	"Your other right, Dammit!," Nodoka yelled from the bottom of
the stairs.

**** And now a short lesson in Hibiki History ****

	Four hundred years and the Hibiki curse was a strong as ever.
Once the Hibiki's had been a powerful clan of warriors, fighting with
amazing strength, courage, and a fanatical loyalty to each other. To
harm one was an insult to them all, and their unstoppable vendettas were
the stuff of legends. Lasting until their foe was dead, or had humbly
apologised, depending on their mood.

	But they were still peasants, and their habit of encouraging the
other oppressed peasants to rise up across feudal Japan (like in the
Nintendo strategy games remember?) angered the cunning Toyotomi
Hideyoshi, successor of Oda Nobunga. He was about to order the very
mighty, yet annoying House of Kuno to wipe out the clan. His logic being
whoever won he would be rid of a big pain in the ass. But a visiting
magician from some unknown land stopped him and offered his services to
deal with the clan.

	A Hibiki child was taken, and as the magician blinded the
infant, he placed a curse on the clan. From that night on, not a single
Hibiki man, woman or child could find their way unaided. Their
reputation among the other peasants darkened. One day they were
preaching the benefits of revolution, the next, they were in a different
province. The Hibiki threat had ended, and the magician was greatly
rewarded.

	Unfortunately for the magician, the Hibiki's learned of his
cruelty to the child and treachery to them as a whole. And one day as
the mage prepared to leave Japan, a disoriented Hibiki happened to bump
into him on the docks.

	"Mindless filthy peasant!" he shouted enraged. "Do you know who
I am!"

	The warrior looked at him closely, "Yes." And with that he slew
the Magician with a single blow from his ridiculously heavy water
bottle. The Hibiki's always did have odd taste in weapons. The magician
died, but the curse lived on.

^\^
 ^

	A bolt of Blue Thunder (editor's note: *Wham!* Any more puns
like that and I'll hold you in contempt) blazed into Ryouga as he
emerged from the funeral home. Not having time to draw his umbrella,
Ryouga had to block the bokken strike painfully with his forearm. 'Oh
yeah, that's gonna leave a mark,' he acknowledged while leaping
backwards to put some distance between himself and Kuno. It was a good
jump he had to admit, but twenty feet or so was not the result Ryouga
was expecting.

	Kuno sneered as the rogue Hibiki arched through the night air.
"Villain! Doth thou not even respect the teachings of Newton? Obey ye
the laws of physics, coward!" he shouted. "Stand thy ground so ye may
fight and die as a man ought. Although such an honourable death is more
than what the likes of you deserve. Thou shall never do murder again aft
this night hath passed. I swear it so on the soul of my relinquished
school chum."

	Ryouga was equally surprised by how far he had jumped. Now he
tried to process what Kuno was saying. He had called him, a villain,
coward, and murderer. Kuno of all people had seen him dump the body, and
was now going to try to kill him.

	Even before Kuno had been less than his equal. If Ryouga fought
him now with powers he couldn't control, he was afraid Kuno was as good
as dead. Ryouga didn't want anymore blood on his hands that night, he
had to get out of it without fighting.

	"Kuno you don't understand the situation...." he started.

	"I comprehend what mine eyes have shown me. I saw thee empty the
noble Zataki's wallet, before rendering his still warm bones unto the
flames within."

	"I had no choice Kuno, now believe me you do not want this."
Ryouga wanted to stay calm but could feel an unnatural rage surfacing.
Something inside him was longing to fight and kill. And feed.

	"Prepare thy soul for hell," Kuno charged, and the predator in
Ryouga became stronger. "The vengeance of heaven is upon thee!"

	Ryouga found himself saying, "I've already been there, it's your
turn. Your friend will be holding the gate for you," Ryouga roared and
slung his pack and umbrella to the ground. He didn't want to use
weapons, and he didn't really want to kill Kuno. Or did he? The force
inside him was becoming frightening.

	He slapped the slashing bokken aside with one hand, and nailed
Kuno in the stomach with a palm strike. It was only meant as a stopping
blow but it still knocked Kuno flat on his pompous ass. Ryouga easily
pinned his arms at his sides, and picked him up off the ground.

	"If you value your life Kuno, don't cross my path again. I don't
want to have anymore blood on me, or in me than I have to," Ryouga was
shaking with rage as he spoke, forcing the predator instincts back into
his soul.

	Ryouga didn't know it, but his eyes were glowing red and his
fangs had grown out again. Kuno did notice, and realised what they meant
just before Ryouga ever so carefully head-butted him into
unconsciousness.

	Ryouga dropped Kuno behind a nearby tree, picked up his gear and
started walking. He noticed Nodoka's car where he had been instructed to
wait. He thought about her and what she meant to him, and just how
important her guidance was. He decided to keep on walking into the
night, but knew he hadn't seen the last of her.

	"Oops, I can't find the car, I hope she understands... Stupid ol
Ryouga Hibiki, why he couldn't even find the hole in an out house..." he
joked to himself as he walked into the darkness. got lost again, that
would be his story and he'd stick to it.

^\^
 ^

	Dr. Tofu didn't like fighting, he liked fighting au natural even
less, and knowing Kasumi was in danger made it the absolute pits. His
gun was in the bedroom, and his second favourite weapon Betty the
skeleton, was in the examining room. Yeah, she would have been handy
about now. He could swing that bony old girl around like a giant set of
nunchaku.

	Betty always had been, and always would be very special to him.
You never forgot your first. And you absolutely never forget the night
you find out she's wired for sound, and your father tells you she's
gotta be taken for the proverbial ride. It sure hurt losing her like
that, but at least he had something to remember her by.

	But this was not the time to reminisce, not while he was being
attacked by two very psychotic junkies. Gosunkugi had failed him for the
last time, and he hoped they hadn't finished him off yet. If Tofu
managed to get Kasumi and himself away from these two, he'd be paying
that Gosunkugi lad a very special house call. As far as Tofu was
concerned, that boy was nothing but fucking carry out.

	The fight was not going well by his standards, but could have
been a lot worse. True he was outnumbered, but Shampoo and Kodachi
didn't fight effectively as a team and kept getting in each others way.
Kasumi was in the kitchen trying to help by throwing dishes at them, but
wasn't doing much good.

	Then as Shampoo was moving in on him, she tripped on Kodachi's
ribbon and he saw an opening. And as the Nerima code of the martial
artists required, he gloated over it, "Ah ha! An opening!" Tofu snapped
his arms out to poke the back of her neck on some particularly
devastating pressure points.

	"Ouch!? That best you can do Mr. M.D.?" Shampoo asked, not
knowing how close she had come to becoming a quadriplegic. Hitting those
little spots in the middle of a fight was not easy, Happosai and Cologne
just made it look that way.

	"No," he said calmly and tanned her one across the jaw. While
Shampoo was stunned he took hold of her blouse and heaved her off the
ground and to his left, just in time to block an attack from Kodachi.
The gymnastics pin bouncing off her head with a comical hollow sound.

^\^
 ^

	Ryouga was at home wandering the streets, but it was comfort
with out familiarity. He glanced around for a place to set up camp out
of habit. Then remembered how vampires like himself were a tad light
sensitive. He would need more protection than just a nylon tent. A
coffin would have been ideal, but he didn't have room in his pack for
one. The sewers would have to do, just crawl down one at dawn and find a
dark corner. Down in the filth where an abomination belonged.

	His supernaturally enhanced ears perked up at the sound of
smashing dishes, and a feminine wail. 'probably a domestic dispute,' he
grimly concluded, knowing such a conflict was very ugly stuff. Ryouga
wondered if he should try to break it up. Every fibre of him, and his
entire system of moral beliefs insisted on it. But experience had taught
him an outsider was generally resented by both sides, and usually left
things much worse than he found them.

	The thud of a fist on flesh was the deciding factor of his moral
debate. What sounded like someone being bludgeoned seconds later was
what infuriated him. Ryouga had witnessed too much domestic abuse in his
life to look away, and rushed off, guided by the sounds of more smashing
dishes.

^\^
 ^

	The girls had the good doctor on the ropes. Shampoo it seemed
had not been knocked out when he used her as a human shield to block
Kodachi's attack. So when Tofu moved to take out Kodachi, her fallen
partner was on his back in no time. Tofu found his arms being pulled
back, and felt her kick his knees out from under him.

	Kodachi wasted no time in taking up the offensive half of the
game, knowing she had to finish him off quick. But first she had to
flaunt his impending doom. "Aha Doctor, we have you now!" she cackled
and pulled a bladed hoop out of her leotard. "Now why did you..."

	"All right break it up!" the Lost Boy shouted, expecting the
usual scenario; battered wife, screaming kids, and a drunk dude he could
feel righteous about pounding on. This however, was much more perverse.

	These were people he thought of as two of the most notoriously
friendly, kind, and gentle folks on the planet. And they were being
assaulted and victimised by two of Nerima's top ten 'Most Lethal and
Underhanded.' They were also both wanna be brides of Ranma. His mind
made the connection instantly.

	This. Was. All. Ranma's. Fault. Indirectly perhaps, but his
fault all the same. He tried not to think about why Dr. Tofu was naked
and Kasumi was in a table cloth toga.

	Kasumi had fashioned the toga seconds earlier when she had seen
Ryouga coming. Having over heard (Kasumi over heard a lot of things)
about his reaction to female charms, she had the presence of mind to
cover herself up with the table cloth before the sight of her bare flesh
K.O.'d him. Besides all that was left in the cupboard was Ono's best
chinaware, and she couldn't bring herself to break any of it. The dirty
dishes in the sink had naturally been the first to go.

	She hoped Ryouga would be able to turn the tide of the battle,
and crouched down in a corner of the kitchen to watch. But just in case
it became necessary to join the fray, she had taken a near by carving
knife and held it tightly in both hands.

	Ryouga snagged a hand full of Miss Kuno's hair and yanked her
head backwards cruelly. Normally he'd have gone easy on her since she
was a girl, but this was different. One simply did not try to hurt
Kasumi Tendo and/or Dr. Tofu, in the same sense that one did not burn
down churches, or poison animals. The mere notion of it was obscene and
unnatural, and to catch them in the act constituted grounds for
justifiable homicide.

	Kodachi yelped as her head jerked back, and the hoop clattered
to the floor. Ryouga's other hand took a fistful of spandex from the
spine of her costume, and there was a sound of ripping fabric as he
threw her across the room. The girl shrieked loudly as she soared
through the air and collided with a wall.

	This may not have been a very stylish move for a martial artist
of Ryouga's standing, but it should have gone down in history as 'The
World's Worst Wedgie'.

	It was around this point that everyone's favourite M.D. in black
(at least he would have been if he wasn't still naked) was able to shake
off the pesky Shampoo. He accomplished this by cracking the back of his
head into that really sensitive spot just above the brow in the middle
of the forehead.

	It felt like somebody had tossed her brain under the wheels of a
truck, and she felt the darkness clouding her vision. But the Amazon was
tougher than that, and willed it away. She was dazed long enough to give
the Doctor a chance to rise to his feet, but that was all. Suddenly
aware of the odds, Shampoo felt the need to make like a baby and head
out, before somebody smashed her into the wall too.

	In a flash of purple locks, the Amazon disappeared through the
hole in the wall. Ryouga wanted to race after her but hesitated, knowing
he'd just get lost. And he couldn't do that, not now when Kasumi and
Tofu, who were busy getting dressed, might be hurt and need him.

	"Are you guys okay?" he asked with his hands over his eyes, lest
they violate Kasumi's body.

	"Oh I'm alright. But thank you for asking Ryouga," Kasumi said
sweetly, looking for her bra.

	"I've been better," Tofu confessed, as he struggled with his
trousers. "But I know the human body well enough to say it's nothing
that won't heal in a week or two."

	"But what did they do to you? What were they going to do to you?
I mean they stripped you and all...." Ryouga was still worried and
confused.

	"Uh, stripped us? You see.... Uh... we.. that is Kasumi and I..
we..." Tofu trailed off at a loss for words.

	"I'll tell you all about it when you are older," Kasumi stated
firmly, a serious look on her face.

	"Oh... okay..." Ryouga said as it finally clicked. He might have
been naive, but he wasn't that naive. 'I get it, they were fu-'

	A groan came from the corner where Kodachi had landed. Having
attracted everyone's attention, they all gathered around her in a
semi-circle. Kodachi's eyes slowly came into focus and she looked up at
Tofu who was staring at her coldly. Then at Kasumi, also staring down at
her with a chilling look in her eyes. Then Kodachi looked up at Ryouga
and snickered at him.

	"Is it safe to look yet?" he asked. "Everybody decent?"

	"Uh, yeah," Tofu, Kasumi, and even Kodachi said in unison.

	He uncovered his eyes, and joined them in staring coldly at
their captive. 'Now what?' he wondered. Being unaccustomed to having
prisoners he didn't know what to do.

	Tofu wanted to finish what Gosunkugi had set out to accomplish,
but couldn't. Not with Kasumi watching. As it stood he didn't know what
to do either.

	Luckily, Kasumi knew what to do. She grabbed Kodachi by the ear
and dragged her to her feet and across the room. Kasumi took a seat on
the sofa, and Kodachi found herself pushed over Kasumi's knee.

	The two boys looked at each other baffled, while Kasumi
disciplined the young Kuno girl. As she smacked away at Kodachi's
highborn backside she started a long lecture about respect, how
unladylike fighting was, and that attempted murder was just as bad as
the real thing, regardless of what the courts said.

	Ryouga was dead set against hitting children, and moved to
intervene; but something told him to keep his opinions to himself this
time. That something was a stern look from Kasumi that seemed to say,
'One more step and you're next, you aren't too old either'.

	Tofu had gotten a broom and was sweeping up the broken glass,
chuckling to himself. Ryouga grimly pitched in to help in the clean up.
Kasumi was totally absorbed in her work, and as a result Kodachi was
feeling most exasperated. Slowly she stopped kicking and screaming in
favour of sobbing and pleading.

	"Uh, Doctor," Ryouga said nervously, there was something
bothering him. "I couldn't help but notice your tattoo. I don't like to
pry but I have to ask..."

	"Huh, what tattoo? Oh, that thing, it's not real," the Doctor
lied. "It's only ink and paint, an artistic friend did it for me. I went
to a costume party last night as a Yakuza member. It only took three
hours for him to do it, impressive eh?"

	Ryouga laughed a little, feeling foolish about having jumped to
such ridiculous conclusions, "Oh, that makes sense." He looked at Kasumi
who was still painting Kodachi's tail. "I don't suppose you have a
camera around eh? It would be fun to sell pictures TO Nabiki for once."

	"What!" Kasumi interjected, pausing for the first time in her
task. "Is she selling pictures again?"

	"Did she ever stop?" Ryouga shrugged.

	"Erotica or Blackmail?"

	"Well both actually...."

	Kasumi frowned and said nothing, but started to spank the Black
Rose even harder.

	Eventually she let go of Kodachi and said, "Kodachi, I don't
ever want to catch you or Shampoo trying to kill Doctor Tofu again. Now
you go straight home and think about what you've done," with that she
gave the teary eyed girl a few Kleenex, and shooed her out the door.

	'Nabiki is in deep trouble now,' Kasumi thought to herself as
she walked directly home to the dojo. But not before finishing cleaning
up and making the boys a nice snack.

	As she waved goodbye, Tofu asked Ryouga if he had a place to
stay that night and offered him the couch. But strangely Ryouga insisted
on sleeping in the cellar, mumbling something about being light
sensitive, and a new night job.

	"Ryouga every time I see you you're really down and depressed. I
know why you couldn't get to the therapy group I suggested, and that's
okay. But I'm really starting to worry about you, this kind of sadness
is not natural. Now I don't normally do this," Tofu said as he scribbled
in his prescription pad. "But for you, I'm willing to make an
exception."

	Ryouga looked at the prescription dumbly as Tofu showed him to
the cellar. Why did everyone keep trying to give him Prozac?





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From: a_wasteaway@yahoo.com
Subject: [Ranma][FanFic] Subterranean Nerima Nightlife 4

Subterranean Nerima Nightlife
Chapter 4: Akane's Tale

I've been wrapped up in confusion,
I've been tied down to my bed.
Suffering some delusion,
I'm out of my fucking head.
Tom Petty 'Zero from Outer Space'

	Akane had enjoyed one of those rare nights that are both
wonderful and inspirational, with her new friends at Pandora's Box.
After overcoming her initial nervousness, the other girls were very
accepting of her. It was wonderful to be among like-minded people, and
for the first time to actually believe she wasn't alone in the way she
felt.

	In hindsight she decided one of the best parts was they gave her
something she had always wanted, a nickname. Not like Tomboy, a
non-insulting nickname, 'Ref-san'. Ref, they explained was short for
referee. She earned the title after she broke up an argument between two
of the girls, as quickly as it had started. Akane jumped head first into
the middle of a rather minor tiff and shut them both up in seconds. Even
though she had forgotten one of the girls names, and didn't know why
they were fighting in the first place. The result of her overreaction
was everyone burst out laughing until their sides hurt, inspiring them
all to hit the dance floor.

	After 'The Box' as they called it, closed, the girls took Akane
to an all night cafe they knew of. Once seated the girls all placed
their orders for exotic highly caffeinated beverages. Akane reflected
briefly on how their beverages seemed to reflect their personalities.

	Haha-chan was in her early twenties, the oldest girl present.
She had gotten her nickname from the other women her age, due to her
overprotective, fretful nature, and because she spent a lot of time with
the younger high school girls. She ordered an extra large French Vanilla
coffee, half milk, and brandy-berry flavouring.

	Akane was thankful to her school friend, Sakaya, who was
responsible for introducing her to her new friends. She had a way of
never slowing down, and possessed a constant excess of energy without
trace of direction for it. Whenever she said anything at all, it was
guaranteed to be louder than necessary, as well as probably being
unrelated and unnecessary in the first place. But it was part of her
charm, and she at least made sure the conversation never died. She had
extraordinary breasts too. Akane didn't really go for top heavy girls,
but they suited Sakaya perfectly, bouncing along with her every silly
asinine move.

	But friendly as she was, Akane reasoned, eventually you need a
break from her company. It had gone from uplifting to irritating, it
then became vaguely fascinating (It's almost three in the morning!
Doesn't she ever get tired?), but currently it was grating. To Akane's
bewilderment Sakaya had a multitude of double espressos with ice cubes,
so she could drink them faster. Yeah, like she needed to be extra wired.

	Then there was the girl Haha-chan had gotten into the argument
with. Akane forgot her name again, and was too embarrassed to insult her
by asking a third time. She was quiet and kept mostly to herself, of all
of them she fit the stereotype the least. Nobody fit the stereotype
perfectly unless they wanted too, but this girl was so totally opposite
that it had to be deliberate. Akane slowly clued into the fact she was
involved with Haha-chan, and was drinking Black English style tea.

	Akane had green tea, and was flattered to be the centre of
attention. She found it easier and easier to open up to them, as one by
one they all probed her deeply, yet carefully. Gently peeling back her
most tender intimate layers. The other three girls exposed the most
personal and private parts of themselves for her, not only freely but
eagerly. One by one, they all took various positions around her, some
supportive, and others of a more challenging nature.

	With Haha-chan's guidance, the quiet girl's wordless enthusiasm,
and the gleefully flippant Sakaya tweaking her left and right at all the
perfect moments; Akane suddenly found herself coming to several
piercing.. conclusions. Nothing in the world quiet like a truly
stimulating conversation, set in a sultry cafe late at night.

	They listened sympathetically as she told them about her
unfortunate engagement, and all agreed that he was a total baka indeed.
"But," Sakaya added, forever bright eyed and bushy tailed. "This cloud
just like, might have a silver lining. I mean he's only like, half boy
right?" Three girls simultaneously gave her a very dirty look, and for
the first time that night she shut up for almost four seconds. "Okay,
like I take it back, kay? I mean yeah, all in all sounds like he's a
real pig..."

	"HEY!" someone objected.

	"Oops, sorry."

	Haha-chan gave her some obscure literature on the subject of
coming to terms with, and being proud of what they, well, what they
were. Akane thanked her, but knew she would have to be careful not to
leave these books lying around. Just thinking about how Kasumi would
react if she found them made her skin crawl.

	The night wore on and on, becoming the early morning. They had
all been up for twenty hours or more, and the caffeine had lost it's
power to have any affect on them at all. Sakaya's energy reserves
finally ran dry over what looked like the span of twenty seconds. Akane
had been looking at her during that short moment and watched with
amazement as Sakaya ground to a halt before her very eyes. It was,
-Jabber-jabber-jabber (sigh) I wanna go home now - When Sakaya crashed
she crashed hard. They took this as an omen that it was time to go, and
they climbed into Haha-chan's tiny car for a lift home.

^\^
 ^
	A beautiful dawn broke across the Nerima sky, making nearby
wisps of clouds blossom with pastel colours, and cast splinters of light
around the silhouettes of buildings. Birds sang, and the sun began to
warm city.

	But the morning's glory was wasted on one lonesome figure, who
trudged home after an exhausting week of training. "Some training that
was," Ranma thought out loud, reminiscing on the past six days. It had
seemed like a good idea at first, Genma wanted to make sure his son
hadn't fallen behind in his training, and Soun Tendo wanted to get to
know his daughter's fiancée a little better. So off they went, the three
of them, just the men. No unwanted fiancées followed, nobody with a
vendetta showed up, it came dangerously close to being peaceful. So of
course then it happened, the most horrible training incident Ranma had
ever been forced into. Far worse than the cats, worse than even the
springs.

	 He could still hear his father's voice, in a pathetic attempt
to reason with him after the event. The words rolling over and over in
his aching head, 'The path of a true Martial Artist...'

^\^
 ^
	After the defeat at Tofu's, Shampoo had spent the rest of the
night trying to score some H, or any kind of opiate without success. She
hadn't been on junk for as long as Kodachi, and her addiction wasn't as
severe, not yet. Of course she didn't think of herself as an addict at
all. True she had a bit of a habit, but she was nowhere near the sad
sate Kodachi had sunk to. In Shampoo's mind she just had her little
habit, and that wasn't so bad was it?

	She had been planing to take a few days off the poppy powder
anyway, but somehow never got around to it. She gave herself little
excuses for continuing to use even when she knew a dry stretch would be
wise. Stuff like Mousse had made her extra angry, (by A. trying to glomp
her, or B. glomping someone/thing else and calling her name at the top
of his lungs) and she needed it to help her calm down. After beating the
living loquaciousness out of him that is.

	Or Great Grandmother had really chewed her out for letting her
techniques get rusty, and she needed a little as a pick me up. But
Shampoo had to admit her practice sessions were thinning out a bit.
Lately she just couldn't get into it, or anything really, not like she
used to.

	At times her drug use had slowed down, but it never actually
stopped. 'This,' the Amazon told herself in Chinese, 'Is as good a time
as any! I don't want to become dependent on the stuff. Not like poor
Kodachi.'

	She felt sorry for Kodachi sometimes. Kodachi came from a rich
family and had never known hunger. Not the way Shampoo and the other
Amazons did when struck by a summer of drought, or a cruel winter and
poor hunting. She was also highly educated compared to Shampoo's people.
If Kodachi were to visit her village she could have academically out
classed even the elders in many areas. Except common sense, of which
Kodachi had zilch.

	"Poor little rich girl," Shampoo thought out loud. Kodachi had
so much money, and was happy pouring it down a vein. Once while ripped
to the gills on the brilliant combination of U-4E-ah, and lines of
ground up Prozac, she had gaily confessed to Shampoo drugs where only a
means to an end. Her own end, and she knew it.

	"I'm happy to do this, darling. Killing myself so softly when
I'm not with my precious Ranma. I need something, anything to fill the
void," she said. Despite the wide smile across her face, Shampoo was
taken back by the darkness of her statement.

	Kodachi who had all those book smarts, and yet couldn't see the
obvious path destiny would take; that Ranma and Shampoo were made for
each other.

	This was the only reason the two of them could get along when
they both loved the same man. Neither took the other's relationship with
Ranma seriously. Kodachi always laughed at the claims of the other
three, "Broken promises, tribal laws, and arrangements made before he
was even conceived? No, I have something far stronger on my side. True
love darling, true love." And if love failed, she was devious, creative,
and had very flexible values.

	Kodachi had snickered loudly when Shampoo explained the
tradition that brought her and Ranma together. How her love, her
cooking, and even the law were all on her side. Shampoo knew Kodachi
could not even comprehend the idea of Ranma as anyone else's husband.

	All the same she hoped her friend would get over it, and not
rely on the needle quite so much. Kodachi needed to slow down a hell of
a lot more than Shampoo did. When it came to this sort of thing, self
discipline was a necessity, not an option. Don't poke it, smoke or snort
it, that was Shampoo's motto.

	But Lordy, did she ever feel bad. She was shivering slightly
from a cold sweat, all her joints were sore, and her stomach felt like
it could start doing cartwheels any second now. Walking home purple hair
draping her face, head hung low in exhaustion, she failed to notice her
one true love was walking towards her, until bumping into him.
Vice-versa for Ranma, except the true love part.

	"Ai ren. You come back to date Shampoo?" she moaned and glomped
at him half heartedly. "You Shampoo loves most in all world. But^Å
Shampoo need beauty sleeps first."

	"Uh, waddever Shampoo," Ranma slurred and weakly peeled her off.
"I gotta get me some shut eye too. Heh, we both look like sumthin' the
cat musta drugged in."

	"This cat drag Ranma home any day," Shampoo said with a wink.
This was the most success she'd had with Ranma since the reversal jewel.
She was fairly certain 'Whaddever' meant yes. Her Japanese was slowly
getting better, but half the time Ranma didn't seem to be speaking it.
She smiled and waved at him, and continued on the long trek home. Ranma
rolled his eyes as he kept on walking in the opposite direction. Yet
another close encounter of the Amazon kind.

	A car screeched to a halt beside him, and the door opened. Ranma
instinctively snapped into a combative stance, then relaxed when he saw
Akane's warm happy face. He didn't know it, but seeing her happy helped
ease his spirit. "Hey Ranma want a lift?" Akane chirped.

	"Uh, sure Akane thanks," he said and squeezed into the back
seat, eager to save himself a few steps. Ranma hopped nothing would
spoil her good humour.

	"Phew! Ranma you smell like a distillery. What kind of bottle
did you climb into?" nagged his bride-to-be-since-birth.

	"Oh man Akane, I don't even wanna talk about it. Hey what
happened to Sakaya?" he moaned and pointed at the snoring girl curled up
beside Akane, eager to change the subject.

	"She's just tired," explained Haha-chan, and (to Akane's relief)
made a slight breech in etiquette by introducing herself and her
significant other to Ranma instead of letting Akane. Akane repeated the
quiet girl's name over and over in her head, so as not to forget it
again.

	That was it for conversation until they reached the Dojo, and
said their thanks and goodbyes. A male presence had made things in the
car surprisingly awkward.

	They entered the house, and Ranma stopped at the hall mirror and
gazed at his reflection. He looked every bit as bad as he felt. Thin
lines of broken blood vessels on his face, dried puke on his favourite
shirt and in his hair. He sprouted a five day beard, and his eyes were
sunken like two piss holes in snow.

	"Eh Akane, so whatcha doing hanging with the likes of Sakaya
anyway?" he asked, lingering inebriation impairing his choice of words
making him sound mind blowingly rude. "I mean, ain't she like... ya
know?" He made a politically incorrect gesture with his left hand and
wrist.

	"No I don't know. So tell me. Tell me. Isn't she WHAT Ranma!?"
Akane growled. She'd had a great night out, and the last thing she
wanted was for him to start bringing her down with his bullshit. It had
been so perfect, it felt so wonderful to be accepted, and now he was
ruining it all. Her hand started creeping towards her hammer holster,
where she kept her favourite mallet, the one she liked to call 'Baka's
Bane'. All truly legendary weapons, Akane felt, should have a name.

	"No, it ain't not nuthin like none of that!" he sputtered,
joining the ranks of the poorly spoken few to ever use a quadruple
negative. "It's just that people sez she's^Å gay. Not that there's
anything wrong with it, if she is^Å ya know^Å but you should be careful
about yer reputation. Ya know how fast rumours spread at school^Å"
Thinking to himself at the same time, 'Not the hammer, please dear God.
My head, my poor head couldn't take it, not today.'

	"My reputation at school is bad enough just by knowing YOU
Ranma!" she sneered, but let go of the handle her mallet. That was as
close to an apology as she could hope for from the likes of him. And
besides he looked so rough she felt a little sorry for the baka. "So
anyway what happened you? You really look bad."

	"Four words Akane: Martial Arts Bartending Contest," Ranma said
glumly, telling himself it was only a half truth. No, it wasn't a half
truth or a white lie, it was total lie. The contest was not the problem
at all.

	"My Goodness," said Kasumi who poked her head out of the
kitchen. "That sounds awful, Ranma you poor thing. Let me get you some
tomato juice, that always helps father...."

	"Oh yeah, that reminds me, it gets worse," Ranma continued, the
mere notion of tomato juice made he want to Ralph Klein yet again. "Pops
and Mr. Tendo, got themselves alcohol poisoning. The Doc sez they should
be out of the hospital sometime tomorrow. They're in room 220 of St.
Anne General."

	"Ranma! How could you not tell us about something like that!"
Akane demanded quite audibly.

	"Now, now Akane there's no need for that. But I think we had
better go visit them. You get ready and I'll wake up Nabiki. Ranma you
look like you could use some sleep, why not let us take care of
visiting?"

	Ranma agreed whole heartily to this, and stumbled up the stairs,
making a stop at the bathroom before going to bed. He took five extra
strength aspirin for his splitting headache, and started drinking huge
amounts of water to fight the already extreme level of dehydration. But
after the sixth glass, Ranma felt too bloated to continue.

	'Time to shave,' he thought to himself and poured the seventh
glass of water over his head. Ranma-chan watched as four days of stubble
fell from her face and into the sink. One advantage of being cursed, it
made shaving a breeze.

	In drunken exhaustion her head lolled forward, causing Ranma to
notice her own breasts. Idly Ranma squeezed one and grinned lewdly, if a
cure was ever found that was another thing she'd miss. Masturbating in
cursed form was a blast.

	They said that a woman's sex organs were three times more
sensitive than a man's. Ranma was probably the only person in the world
that could honestly say it was true from hands on experience. Not that
she was up for that sort of thing at the moment, all Ranma wanted to do
was sleep. She turned on the hot water and waited for it. The Tendo
house had been built with third rate plumbing and electric; most of the
shoddy tenement houses that made up the Nerima district had.

	Not that the Tendo household and dojo were shabby, Kasumi worked
hard to keep it looking proud and unsoiled. An oasis of self-respect, in
a wasteland of unkempt impoverishment devoid of pride of possession.

	(Author's Note: I know, yeah I know. The houses in Nerima are
way too big to be part of a tenement in a country as densely populated
as Japan. Just play along and try to stretch your imagination. Gee, I
wonder if it's wise to point out the plot holes like this..) (Editor's
Note: Nope, but you never were noted for your wisdom.) (Author's Note:
knock it off this is getting spamish!) (Editor's Note: Screw off, I'm
just doing my job... ^^ and look at your atrocious punctuation!!) (A.N.:
Get lost you Dumb Little Box!) (E.N.: Look who's talking, SPAM-BOY!!!
You useless lush! You waste-away fuck-up.) (A.N.: You worthless dyke! I
only made Akane queer cuz I thought you'd find it amusing, it's already
been done so often it's absolutely trite! And you don't even care
*sob*... Ok, this is getting ridiculous.) (E.N.: Sibling Rivalry at it's
best, we're done now. Really.) (Reader's Note: Oh, we can only hope....)

	Ahem, anyway enough of the bizarre incestuous foreplay. While
Ranma-chan waited for the hot water to find it's way to the bathroom
faucet, she watched Kasumi herd a rather unmotivated Nabiki out of her
room and towards the stairs. Nabiki looked miserable, like someone who
had cried herself to sleep in her clothes.

	The hot water started to flow and Ranma dumped a glass of it
over her head. Stumbling to the toilet he withdrew the newly reformed
organ, and took careful aim at the bowl tripod style. (If any of you
ladies reading this are confused, let me explain. Tripod style is when a
guy leans forward while pissing, so he can rest his weary head on the
wall behind the toilet tank. When you are tired, drunk, or hung to the
tits like Ranma, the additional support is a godsend.)

	But just as the unwanted fluid began to exit his bladder, Ranma
remembered something. He stuffed his favourite reformed part back into
his pants, and slammed the bathroom door just as Kasumi and her whinny
sister passed. Sighing, Ranma went back to the john and urinated. They
hadn't seen anything, he was sure of that much.

	"Good God is that ever yellow," moaned a male voice from behind
the bathroom door, heard clearly over the tell tale splashing. Nabiki
smirked and had a devilish sparkle in her eye, savouring the tiny bit of
mischief in what she had seen to brighten her day. Kasumi blushed
slightly and pretended to be oblivious, as usual.

	"Remember Ranma, you have an elocution lesson tonight," Kasumi
reminded. Behind the door Ranma scowled, damn speech therapy. Ranma
didn't think there was nothing wrong about how he'd been learned to
spoke. It was all a pointless waste of time and money.

	Ranma shook it twice, put it back in his pants, and flushed.
Back at the sink he turned the hot water on again and started to wash
his hands with a bar of Lava soap. The water got hotter and hotter, and
he scour harder. Soon the water was painful, almost to the point of
scalding. Ranma kept at it for over twenty minutes, before feeling clean
enough.

^\^
 ^
	"Ack, ack and alas I do groan,
 on this too early dawning morn.
 What evils my mortal eyes have seen,
 and what other evils hath there been?
 For now as I waken beneath a blooming shrub,
 recalling an encounter of drinkers of blood.

 In fair Nerima citizens of hell stalk the night,
 but my noble arm is eager to fight.
 An honourable friend of his life sucked dry,
 and now the slave Hibiki and his ilk shalt die.

 In the heavens a shooting star hath fallen today,
 so arise now Blue Thunder as Vampire Hunter K!"

	Kuno had found his way home several hours earlier, and in a
torrent of emotion put pen to paper. Now he was venting his frustrations
in what he considered a healthy and creative outlet. Reciting the large
stack of freshly written poetry to the poor Sasuke, expecting honest C&C
from his loyal servant, who was tied to a chair for the duration of the
reading.

	What Akane did to food when she cooked, Kuno did to words when
he wrote poems. The Vogons had nothing on Kuno. If you thought the Earl
of Doncaster was bad, you ain't seen nothing yet. As Kuno turned the
page and started on a traditional haiku, his seventh, the poor little
man struggled with his bonds to reach a secret pocket in his ninja suit.

	The pain of hearing haiku and sonnets so utterly butchered, gave
him the strength to pop his arm out of the shoulder joint, and wiggle it
out of the restraints. His free arm dove into a hidden pocket and shoved
it's contents into his mouth. Without hesitation Sasuke chewed once and
swallowed, knowing he would soon find peace.

	Funny, he never thought cyanide would taste so.. papery? Oh
shit! His last resort suicide tablets were in his other uniform, that
was the acid he'd scored last night for Mistress Kuno's birthday
present. All three tabs, and he hadn't taken cid in almost two months!

	Whimpering like a dog that had been kicked for no reason, he
popped his arm back in place. He knew he was about to embark on a trip
the likes of which would make Tim Leary tremble. The Kuno Poetry Trip.
Sasuke was filled with fear and loathing. (Editor's Note: No, not even I
can come up with a reply pithy enough.)

^\^
 ^
	Akane was too tired to sleep when they got back from the
hospital. She really wanted to, but after you've been awake for over
thirty straight hours you can't just lay down and say, 'I'm going to
sleep now.' No, in that condition the body has energy highs and lows of
it's own making. Akane's mind and body were being plagued by a bout of
adrenaline induced of insomnia.

	So Akane lay on her bed in just a thin bra, and well worn
panties, staring at the ceiling. She had kicked the covers off in a
desperate attempt to escape the summer's heat, and tried to will herself
to sleep. Part of the problem was that the early afternoon sun was
strong enough to shine through the closed blinds. So much shone in it
was next to impossible to sleep.

	Yeah it was bright, but the real reason wasn't the light. It
wasn't  the heat either, nor her burned out condition. She couldn't
sleep because of the way she had been forced to witness the ugliest most
hypocritical face of the family unit, and couldn't stop dwelling on it.

	Three girls on a train en route to the hospital, to pay an
awkward visit none of them wanted to make. In fact they all would have
preferred to be doing almost anything else, but wouldn't admit it. They
didn't have to admit it, it was a unanimous unspoken thing between them.
Made clear by whimsical sighs, weak denials, and even thinner small
talk. All the way there they said next to nothing.

	They were all forced to do this chore by three separate
feelings; guilt, obligation, and fear. Each Tendo daughter felt each in
different proportions, but all equalled out to the same degree of
incentive.

	Kasumi didn't let Akane sleep on the train, telling her it was a
dangerous habit to get into. She also shook her awake whenever she
started to doze off at the hospital, scolding her for her rudeness. Her
father on the other hand, was allowed to sleep through ninety percent of
the visit, waking up only a handful of times to dry heave violently and
cry himself back to sleep. Akane doubted he would remember they had him
visited at all tomorrow.

	 Not wanting to wake their father from his pitiful slumber, the
girls were left with nothing to do. They couldn't leave, not before
putting in the appropriate number of hours. Not if they wanted to
continue considering themselves to be good daughters.

	This free time was used to redefine the already well established
family pecking order. Kasumi was mad at Nabiki for some reason or
another, and made sure not to let her forget it. As usual, Nabiki was so
cowed by the aggression that instead of fighting back, she turned on
Akane. Berating the youngest almost to the point of tears.

	Akane scowled, knowing she could easily take Nabiki outside and
beat her like an old rug. But all three of them knew perfectly well she
never would. No, not after what happened last time. Never, ever, again
would she dare raise a hand against her sister.

	So knowing it was safe, Nabiki ridiculed Akane at every
opportunity. Lashing out with her stronger verbal skills and sadistic
wit. Her sharp bitter tongue, found ingenious ways of reminding Akane of
all her faults and shortcomings. Most of the time discreetly, then
sometimes bluntly and without warning. At the same time Nabiki would
complement herself subtly by comparison.

	In retaliation to this assault on her self-image, Akane tried to
bite back into both of them. At Nabiki in self defence, but mostly at
Kasumi for starting this nasty bit of venom. But she didn't have
Nabiki's cruelly barbed wit, or the eldest sister's cold authoritarian
glare. All she had was raw unfocused emotion, and only slightly more
tact than Ranma. In a conflict of this nature, both proved much greater
weaknesses than weapons.

	A male doctor who noticed the harsh conversation, paused at the
door. Then shrugged and strode on down the hall, chalking it up as a
minor sibling squabble. To the three girls however it had been all out
open warfare, with Akane suffering the most needless casualties since
Hiroshima.

	But that was then, and truth be told now much later, Kasumi felt
bad about taking her feelings out on Akane. She felt she owed her little
sister an apology. She was still very upset about the news Tofu had
given her the previous night, and still very angry with Nabiki. Rather
than use her intelligence and creativity to make something of herself,
Nabiki always took the easiest route. She openly, and all too proudly
admitted she wanted the soft life, and that she was not going to work
for it either.

	At the rate she was going, Kasumi worried Nabiki wouldn't be a
small time swindler much longer. She was watching her sister evolve into
something much worse. Unfortunately, Kasumi's response was to resort to
harsher and more extreme means of discouragement and punishment. Anyone
else would have told Kasumi that her actions could only speed Nabiki's
moral descent. But an outsider only had the benefit of an honest
perspective because of their non-involvement with the situation. And not
being involved meant their opinion should be kept to themselves.

	Akane didn't know any of this though, and just wanted to write
them both off as being bitchy to her today. She had been truly and
deeply hurt.

	Giving up on the idea of sleep, Akane picked up one of the books
loaned to her the night before. Browsing through it idly, then tossing
it on the floor moments later. She picked up another one and flipped
through it too, then threw it to the ground, disappointed. She was too
tired to concentrate on the words, and so like a child was content to
just look for interesting pictures. She picked another one out of the
bag, it looked like a doubtful prospect but who knows?

	That was when Kasumi knocked gently on Akane's bedroom door as
she let herself in. Kasumi never knocked before entering her sisters
rooms. She knocked as she went in, and felt that was enough. Akane's
reaction to this intrusion was slightly delayed, she had found a not
only interesting, but highly provocative illustration. She thrust the
book under her pillow in a manner that was by no means subtle.

	Kasumi noticed, but didn't care what it had been. Her attention
was drawn to the books carelessly piled on the floor, the titles plainly
visible, and all too informative.

	"A-Akane," Kasumi said softly. "What are you reading? 'Pink For
Girls', and... and 'Lesbianism Made Easy' by who? Who is this Helen
Eisenbach person?"

	Akane sat up and scrambled backward on the bed away from her
sister, until she was sitting on the pillow and her back was to the
wall. She couldn't look at her sister's face, she was too ashamed. She
had finally been caught, exposed for what she was. If she had been
embarrassed, her face would have felt intensely hot and flushed
brightly. It she had been afraid she would have trembled and wept. But
instead felt a cold chill pass through her, and it was one of the
hottest days of the year. What she was feeling was not humiliation or
fear. It was helplessness and utter loneliness. "They're for school, I
swear. For school..." her hollow voice droned, absolutely dripping with
guilt.

	Kasumi was stunned. Her brain, normally accepting and fatalistic
of life's hardships, struggled to process the evidence it had been
presented with by her optic nerves. A hypothesis was formed. It was
challenged briefly by a feeble shroud of denial. Then the hypothesis
spread to deeper and deeper nerve centres, until Kasumi snapped out of
her freeze, and into action.

	In a daze said to Akane, "I always did like your hair better
short." She ran to Akane and hugged her tightly. Now it was Akane's turn
to be shocked.

^\^
 ^

	A little later all three sisters were gathered at the dinner table, 
with happiness and relief. Enjoying the hot pizza Nabiki had gone out for, 
as their late lunch celebration. Ranma was still sleeping off a week of
boozing, and so they didn't share the news, or pizza with him. The truth
about Akane's sexuality was being told on a need to know basis, and for
today he didn't need to know. They would at least save him some pizza.
Well, maybe. Saving pizza for someone absent was a lot like visiting 
their father. Nobody wanted to, but they all vaguely felt they should.
Damn guilt, it ruins more good times than anything.

	Akane, although happy to be out of the closet, was still the most
shocked of the three. "You knew I was gay?" she asked yet again.

	"Well Akane," said Kasumi. "For practical purposes we knew, all we
needed was for something like this. Something I guess to eliminate any
doubt." Kasumi, although happy her sister was out of the closet, was the
most concerned about the implications this might have on a certain 
wedding. A wedding to a certain boy, who certainly would not, ever admit
that he was indeed deeply in love with her.

	"Yeah," Nabiki added between mouthfuls. "It was pretty easy to tell."
Nabiki although happy her sister had come out, was the most uncomfortable
when it came to sitting down. "You think we never noticed the way you turn 
your head when some hot chick walks by?"

	"And Akane, remember that Women with Women magazine I found you with in
your room? The one you said you had confiscated from, Ahem and I quote;
'That pervert I'm being forced to Marry?'" Kasumi teased in a rare moment
of semi-crass humour. "And I know perfectly well he hides his girlie mags
in the very bottom of his travel pack, or under his mattress. Never on
the floor next to an open door. Good Lord, that was one weak story,
Akane!" Akane covered her mouth and blushed very, very deeply,
remembering what exactly she had been doing with that magazine when
Kasumi walked in.

	"Why do you think we were so quick to pair you up with Ranma once we
learned about his curse?" asked Nabiki.

	"We thought it was the best way to make sure you were happy and keep
father from knowing," Kasumi explained.

	"And you'll notice Kasumi and I don't drool when we watch a Spice Girls
video," smirked Nabiki.

	"Heh yeah, guess I kinda do," Akane confessed. "I think Posh is my
favourite..."

	"What?!" her sisters asked in unison. Posh is nobody's favourite Spice
Girl.

	Realising she might have to explain the bizarre reasons for her fetish
for Posh, Akane used humour to change the subject. "So, is Ranma's porn
collection any good? Maybe I could borrow some of his, seeing as you took
my only one."

	"I don't think you'd want to," Kasumi said with a straight face. "A lot
of the pages are stuck together." Kasumi had done the unthinkable, and
grossed out both her sisters.

	As they finished off the last of the pizza, (Ranma, it appeared, lost
out) Akane went back to her room and easily fell into a deep comfortable
sleep. One less great weight on her shoulders. Now as long as they didn't
learn anymore of her guilty secrets, she was laughing.



Subterranean Nerima Nightlife
Chapter Five: Ryouga and Akane's Tale

And if you loved me it would be alright,
And if you loved me,
I could live through another night.
Captain Tractor 'Someday'


	Behind the door of Doctor Tofu's tiny root cellar, Ryouga's undead eyes
sprung wide open. A reflex triggered by his new instincts that recognised
the exact moment the sun had safely set past the horizon.

	It was an unpleasant way to wake up, he felt too awake too suddenly. No
trace of the warm mist clouding his mind, and no sense of being
comfortably well rested to help him ease into the day ahead. Or night in
this case.

	If there had been that thin veil of sleep still hanging over him, maybe
he would not have remembered everything so clearly. For a few wonderful
seconds, he could have told himself it was all a dream.

	Instead he knew all the facts, instantly and rationally, all fresh in
his mind as if he hadn't slept at all.

	The difference Ryouga noticed was that he was freezing cold as well. He
didn't expected it to be warm in the root cellar, but he did expect it to
be warm inside his thickly lined sleeping bag. Ryouga couldn't believe
the way his teeth where chattering so loudly, or how he wasn't so much
shivering as having minor spasms. Last time he'd felt this way, he had
been close to hypothermia and death.

	He warmed up quickly though, just by moving around a little. After
flicking the light on, and repacking his belongings he felt much warmer.
"I guess all I needed to do was get the circulation going," Ryouga said
to himself.

	Even when the lights had been off, Ryouga, like all his kind, saw well
in the dark. But with the light on he could see even more clearly,
particularly colours. Everything seemed to alter have more clearly
defined dimensions and a vividness he never knew in his mortal life. He
looked inside himself, and was relived to find not even a hint of his
blood lust had returned. But he continued to burden himself under the
heavy yoke of his guilt. Still overwhelmed by what he had become and all
to soon would have to do again.

	The cellar shelves were lined with a comical mix of jars. Kasumi's home
made jams, pickles, and other preserved foods, sat along side Tofu's jars
of dead things pickled in formaldehyde. Presumably left over from his
med. school days. It gave the room a strange 'Doctor Frankenstein meets
Martha Stewart' motif.

	There were also a few things that a doctor would be expected to have in
his clinic but seldom, if ever, have to use. Ryouga felt drawn to one
such item in particular. He was so completely fascinated by it, that he
picked up the bundle of thick black plastic and unrolled it without even
thinking. Yet at the same time he knew why.

	It looked to be the perfect size. Very carefully he unzipped it and put
his hand in. The inside of the bag felt unnaturally warm and pleasant to
him. Ryouga couldn't resist, he put his sleeping bag on the shelf, and
carefully tucked the body bag into his backpack. If a coffin was a
vampire's the bed, this was the sleeping bag of a vampire.

	Ryouga didn't like the idea of stealing from Dr. Tofu. His fleecy
sleeping bag was worth a lot more than the meat sack could possibly cost.
It was more than a fair trade, but trading with someone without telling
them was still stealing.

	His eye, now so much sharper than a hawk's, caught a glimpse of
something on the shelf behind where the body bag had been. There was a
tightly wrapped canvass parcel slightly over a metre in length. But what
caught Ryouga's eye was the black metal pipe poking out one end, it had a
vague oily shine to it and a bead on top. It looked a little like the
barrel of a...

	"Shotgun?" Ryouga wheezed, having ripped open the package like a kid on
Christmas. And not only that, there was also a spade with dried dirt
caked on it and an axe. The axe disturbed him the most, it was stained
strangely brown. It wasn't rust, it was dried blood.

	Ryouga felt sick, and his legs seemed to melt out from under him. Slowly
Ryouga wrapped the gun and tools up again, and put them back exactly
where he had found them. Then picking up his backpack and umbrella, ran
out of the house in record time; twenty two minutes and sixteen seconds.
By the inexplicable grace of the gods Tofu was out, and Ryouga managed to
find the back door before he returned. Ryouga couldn't have faced him
just then.

	Ryouga's mind was spinning, as he ran into the young night. Remembering
little things about Tofu he had never thought important before, and the
big things he'd just learned. The bright tattoo, the coldness that
sometimes flashed in his eyes, the brown stains on the axe, the bitter
traces of sarcasm in his bedside manner, the gun, his tight lipped smile
when they had Kodachi at their mercy.

	Questions followed in the wake of these realisations. Why did Shampoo
and Kodachi attack him? Even they needed a motive to do something so
dire. Why did he have a pump action shotgun? How could he have a gun at
all in Japan?

	Why did he always dress in black?

	It all added up to one thing so clearly that it was obvious to even
Ryouga. Ryouga stopped dead in his tracks as the blinding truth hit him
in the face like a blast of Ranma's Chi. Doctor Ono Tofu M.D., was a
member of the Yakuza crime syndicate.

	Ryouga then started to snicker. "Na," he said with a shake of his head
and wave of the arm. "No way, not Doctor Tofu. What was I thinking."
Ryouga's denial, as we all know, was an incredible force unto it's self.

^\^
 ^

	Lady Luck it seemed, was sweet on Kodachi. Her last fix, however toxic,
had been strong enough to get her through the night, and to her surprise
the larger part of the morning. She only started hurting again after her
Sunday morning Gymnastics Class was over and she was showering off.

	Kodachi hadn't really wanted to attend that day, not when she was
looking down the barrel of her unmet needs. She had waited for all the
other girls to finish before daring to venture in to the locker room.
There was no way on earth the Black Rose would let anyone see her with a
rosy well spanked bottom.

	'Tendo Kasumi,' she mused, a finger tapping her chin thoughtfully. The
other hand kept busy massaging her still tender flesh. 'You have a new
enemy in me. Be afraid.'

	After getting dressed she had planed to go down to the Rehab Clinic and
scope out the coffee house opposite it. Or maybe that tiny patch of
unmowed grass some civic administrator had the audacity to call, 'an
urban renewal project'. Or even more inappropriately, a 'park'.

	There she'd try to buy some methadone capsules off those losers in the
program. Better still she might run into an associate on their way to
score. That would be the best case scenario, the worst case
scenario....... No, she wasn't even going to think about not scoring.
She'd roll one of the little wasters on their way out of the clinic
first.

	No, no she wouldn't. In her circles that crime constituted high treason
(no pun intended). If word got around Kodachi pulled a rip off, she would
be finished in Nerima. She had a hard enough time earning street cred as
it was. Kodachi blamed this on her youth and sophistication. Shampoo was
an uneducated foreigner and, in less than two months already had more
connections than she did. Three bits of that shit was not worth being
black listed.

	The real problem was Kodachi had always considered most of her fellow
junkies to be far beneath her. As a result she was reluctant to rub
elbows with them, and had come to rely on Gosunkugi for all her drugs. He
had been a good source, almost always had merchandise. But now she had no
sure place to turn and was paying for her snobbish ways. She'd get by
somehow though, she always did.

	But first, she grimly realised she would have to head home for some
money, kicking herself all the way there. Of course the house just HAD to
be in the opposite direction of the clinic. She cursed her ancestral home
for it's inconvenient location. Kodachi raced in and snatched up her
forgotten purse, and made fast tracks for the door, then skidded to a
halt.

	Nabiki had her finger outstretched to press the door bell, when Kodachi
came out of nowhere and almost flattened her. Startled Nabiki raised her
arms defensively, the two middle fingers on each hand instinctively
folding to her palms.  Nabiki's bulging eyes met with Kodachi's irritated
impatient eyes, and she found herself entranced by them in a most
disagreeable way.

	"Holy Deja Vu," Nabiki whispered, and blinked hard a couple of times to
clear her head.

	"Good afternoon Tendo-san," Kodachi said gritting her teeth, infuriated
by the delay this peasant was causing her. "My dear brother is indisposed
at the moment, you would do best to call on him again later on today. Now
if you will excuse me I must make haste, so I bid you adieu."

	Nabiki stopped her as she attempted to brush past. "As a matter of fact
Kuno-san, I came to see you."

	"I am truly sorry. Perhaps I can squeeze you into my schedule some other
day. As I said I really must be off, so for now adios," Kodachi tried to
duck under Nabiki's arm.

	"But I have some business that I really think will interest you," Nabiki
interjected, moving her body to block Kodachi's exit again.

	"I am not interested in any of your explicit photographs, nor will I be
in the near future. Now if it so please you, do step aside. And Ciao."

	"I'm not here to try to sell you photos....." Nabiki started.

	"And yet I remain uninterested in whatever it is you have to offer! So
for last time I bid you, uh.. bid you... Auf Wiedersehen."

	Nabiki was tempted to keep on stalling Kodachi, just to see how many
languages she could say good-bye in. But common-sense told her that
pushing the girl any farther might result in a less than favourable
business position, and physical danger. 

	"I see," Nabiki sighed and moved out of Kodachi's way. "It seems I was
misled to believe you were the sort of person who might be in the market
for some morphine..."

	Kodachi's ears perked up at that last word. "Morphine? Morphine
sulphite?" she gasped. That would beat the hell out of methadone, which
wouldn't even get her high, only ease the hurt.

	"Dihydromorphione actually," Nabiki didn't know which was the better of
the two, but the response from Kodachi told her all she needed to know.
Drool always implied a strong bartering position. She had yet to meet a
Kuno who could grasp the concept of keeping a poker face.

	Kodachi was stunned. Hello! Was she really talking about Dilaudid?
Disbelief set in quickly. No, no way. As far as Kodachi was concerned
this was too good to be true. She folded her arms and asked Nabiki just
how she planed to get it. For practical purposes the stuff didn't exist.

	"I have it right here with me," Nabiki said very quietly, suddenly
feeling paranoid about the casualness of their public, and highly
criminal conversation. Kodachi noticed the nervous aura that seemed to
engulf her and invited Nabiki up to her room. She turned on her snotty
brand of charm, and made a point to be sure Nabiki was as comfortable as
possible. God forbid Kodachi Kuno should ever be less than cordial, least
of all to her new best friend.

	In no time they settled on a price, Nabiki for all her talk, was
clueless about what she had. It would have been cheap at twice the asking
price, but Kodachi bartered a few minutes more anyway. Most of the Black
Rose's discomfort had been caused by the panicky dread of not knowing
when her next hit would be, not the actual withdrawal. Knowing she would
soon have relief, she found the strength to bullshit with Nabiki. Trying
to sound like she was being over charged, yet willing to pay so Nabiki
would come to her first if she ever snagged this quality of goods again.

	Kodachi almost suspected she was being burned, but the seal on the
container was perfectly intact. To the best of her knowledge there was no
way to reseal a medical vial. And on the off chance Nabiki was running a
scam, Kodachi knew were she lived.

	So with both parties satisfied with the deal they shook hands, and
Kodachi courteously saw Nabiki out. As Kodachi watched the little tramp
walk away, she smiled broadly. The price had been low but strange, part
of it was to have a gourmet pizza delivered to the Tendo house. Ah well,
never give a sucker an even break. She was so excited in fact, Kodachi
didn't clue in that before her dealing with Nabiki, she had been wearing
more jewellery.

^\^
 ^

	Akane had slept through the entire afternoon and evening. She woke up
after everyone else had gone to bed and was bored, so she elected to go
for a late night stroll. The fresh air and change of scenery would help
to clear her head, and give her a chance to reflect on the new course of
her life.

	An hour later she was still walking, and hadn't found any answers. What
she had found, were some serious and rather depressing new problems she
would have to deal with. Most of them revolved around her father.

	Akane had the fewest memories of their mother, and he had tried
desperately to fill the empty space with his love and attention. All he
had succeeded in was spoiling her rotten, much to the disgust of an
envious Nabiki.

	Of course Soun loved all his daughters, and always tried to be there and
take care of them. They in turn cared for him, Kasumi did her part by
keeping house, and even Nabiki helped by keeping the finances straight.
But it was Akane who gave him back his life, and his passion for the
martial arts. He had never intended to force the art on his daughters,
but had hoped they would all want to learn. Akane asked to be trained at
the age of six, and to his delight had stuck with it for the next ten
years. She was his inspiration to stop his obsessive grieving, and live
again.

	But she was also a source of family pride and was given the burden of
caring on the Dojo. She had been chosen to marry a stranger in the name
of family honour, and while the gloomy shadow of the impending union
horrified her, it meant the world to her father.

	But talk about gross, he was a BOY for Christ sake! She never had and
never would like the opposite sex, none of them came close to being
pretty enough.

	But as she walked and thought, she came up with some plastic
compromising notions of how to cope. The whimsical, half-assed sort of
solutions that are discarded the very next day. But tonight her theories
seemed strong and reasonable. And that was enough to occupy her mind.

	To please her father Akane was willing to marry him, as awful a life as
it would be. But she was determined not to make love with him, unless
maybe he changed his attitude radically. Then she might, might mind you,
give him some satisfaction, but only (and she'd be strict about this) in
female form. Ranma-chan would not be her only lover either, Akane would
find a real one.

	But didn't that mean she would have to condone his behaviour with Ukyou
and Shampoo? No, of course not! Well maybe... it would only be fair....
but, but... She didn't want to dwell on it, she'd burn that bridge when
she got to it.

	Secondly, she _would_ do the heir thing, and bear Ranma's children.
After all this was a major part of carrying on the Tendo name, and she
wanted babies. But Akane would only become pregnant from the combination
of Ranma's seed and a turkey baster. He could complain all he wanted, but
there would be no penises in Akane's presence, thank you kindly. And most
certainly not in Akane's body! That was final. F-I-N-A-L!

	Akane hated the idea of living a lie with Ranma, but she would make the
best of a bad situation. It didn't help matters much that he was a baka
to the Nth degree too. A misogynist like him wouldn't get much sympathy
from her.

	Ugh... men. Always gaping at her with their lusty eyes and interfering
with her life. Ranma was the worst for interfering, fighting her battles
and making her look helpless. Always rescuing her, risking his life for
her, worrying about her. Smiling at her with his stupid cute dimples and
dreamy sapphire eyes..

	"Ugh men!" Akane reminded herself, she had to stop letting her mind
wander like that.

	The night's contemplation was getting depressing, but then Akane saw a
familiar face. Ryouga was staring at a street sign, with his usual
stunned bunny look. 'Poor Ryouga,' she thought to herself, and smiled.
'Poor simple Ryouga, lost again.'

	"Hey Ryouga!" she called to the most platonic friend a girl could hope
for. He was a fine example of the male species, maybe the only fine
example in fact. Other than her father and P-chan, she couldn't forget
about them.

	He was the only boy that had always treated her body with respect, and
her as a person. Unlike Ranma, his ego didn't command him to be better
than her at everything, and unlike Kuno he never tried to molest her. He
was kind at heart, and an understanding listener. She desperately needed
someone to listen to her. If only he had a nice pair of tits... But you
can't have everything, where would you put it? (Author's note: I must
confess I stole this line from Steven Wright. Better you hear it from me
than the editor.)

	Before long they were sitting in an English style pub. Akane had chosen
it so she could try out her fake ID. It didn't even occur to her it would
look like she was trying to show off, until it was too late.

	Ryouga didn't think less of her for it though, in his eyes she could do
no wrong. He needed a drink anyway, something to take the edge off his
ugly life. Anything to numb himself from the pain, to help him forget, if
only for a moment or two.

	His stricken conscience was in overdrive tonight, raking him over the
burning coals of his degeneracy. Even inventing new ways to deepen his
depression and reasons to regret his every action. He hated his father's
alcoholic ways, but over the last year and a half found himself drinking
more and more, watching himself turn into his old man. That was his
reason to hate himself as they ordered. 'I should be thankful that booze
is the only thing I'm craving,' Ryouga thought, trying to justify it to
himself.

	With eyes full of tenderness he watched Akane order. He had never known
a beauty like hers, and knew he never would again. This was to be the
last time he would be by her side. She deserved so much better than him,
a liar, pig, and vampire all rolled into one. After tonight he would give
her up, and pollute her life no more. 

	Really.... He meant it this time... Honest! This was the end of the
line. He would give her up for good this time.. Promise!

	At sixteen Ryouga was the same age as Akane, but he never got carded.
Life on the road and over exposure to the elements had beaten extra years
into his face. On the other hand Akane's short stature and hair style,
made her look thirteen. She was proud to have such a good forgery. 

	But to her disappointment, their long haired waiter didn't even look at
the card for two seconds before returning it. The reaction she had been
expecting was that he would look at the card, then back at her, hold it
up to the light, shrug suspiciously and give it back.

	After ordering she couldn't hold back any longer. Akane wanted Ryouga to
know everything about what she was. Ryouga was the exact opposite, he
wanted Akane to know nothing about what he had become. So as always he
simply waited for her to do the talking.

	"So Ryouga, you haven't been around lately. Did you go anywhere
interesting?" she asked, not wanting to drop the big bomb on him right
away.

	By a bizarre coincidence that paralleled her thoughts he answered;
"Yeah.. Nagasaki. A month ago I almost wandered into the ruins. The most
horrific thing I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot in my travels. If
you've ever been there to pay your respects, you know what I mean. Before
I saw it with my own eyes, it was almost like.. like I couldn't
comprehend what really happened there. I mean the sheer numbers of lives
lost was just too vast to accept on a comprehensible level. But being
there... Being there gives you a whole new perspective of what hell was."

	Mentally adding, 'But a fitting spot to become a hellish thing
yourself.' That was where Nodoka had found him, in the middle of an
atomic nightmare.

	"No. Never to Nagasaki. But we visit the Shrine in Hiroshima every year
on my mother's birthday. She grew up there," Akane said. She paused,
becoming glassy eyed over the memories she could never have. "Leukaemia."

	The waiter arrived with the drinks. He seemed to sense he was disturbing
a rather intimate moment, in an apologetic whisper asked if they wanted
anything else. He then drifted away like a ghost, giving them back their
privacy. Ryouga solemnly lifted his glass, and offered a traditional
toast, in remembrance of the two cities.

	Ryouga sipped his pint of pitch black Guinness quietly, savouring it's
bitterness. Much the way he had come to savour the bitterness in his own
life. Stout was an unpopular brew in Japan and hard to find. Akane took
one taste out of her own glass, and instantly knew why. She could only
blame herself though, he had warned her it was an acquired taste.

	Disgusted by her beverage, Akane scrunched her face up in that certain
way Ryouga always found adorable. A reaction usually reserved for when
she ate her own cooking to prove it wasn't as bad as everyone said.

	A realisation struck Ryouga, admittedly it struck him about ten minutes
later than it would have most people. But it hit him none the less. He
was alone with Akane Tendo. Why? Because she had asked him to join her.
Was this.. a... date? Could it really be? Ryouga scrambled down his
'Date-or-Not-a-Date' checklist.

	1) Are you and the object of your affection together? If your answer is
no, put the test down now. If yes, alone=+3, with as few other friends as
possible=+1. 'Alright,' Ryouga thought. 'Three points.'

	2) Are you in a romantic atmosphere? If not, -1. If yes how romantic?
Dark and secluded restaurant or such=+2, any outdoor activity=+3, Hotel
room and she's wearing lingerie = Put the test down now, it's not going
to help you if still you don't know what to do.

	Ryouga looked around the bar room. The pub was only worth two points if
it was romantic. Was this romantic? Dark and secluded for sure, but a guy
had just run outside to be sick, and everyone was looking pretty seedy.
'I'll call it only one point, which makes four.'

	3) Why are you there? You asked her=+2, she asked you=+3, just bumped
into each other in the same place=+1, she just showed up unannounced with
obvious romantic intentions=+4, you just showed up unannounced with
obvious romantic intentions = put the test down now, stalker-boy. Akane
had undoubtedly asked him, 'Seven, yes!'

Scoring:

1-4, Keep trying kid, sure you're with her at the moment, but you're
still not with her, ya know? Remember to be subtle and patient. But not
too subtle, or too patient of course. You have to show some spine after
all!

5-7, Congrats, it's a date! For now stay kewl, and see if you can do it
again. Ryouga winced at the trendy phonetic spelling, but was more than
happy with his grade.

8 and higher, It's surprising you got past the question two hotel score,
and that's probably were you are headed. Who are you anyway, Ranma
Saotome?

	"What?!" Ryouga sneered, was Ranma's womanising that notorious? He did a
double take at the sheet, now instead of his arch rival's name it read
'Casanova'.

	"Um, Ryouga?" Akane asked. "What are you reading?"

	Ryouga stuffed the test back into his pack, ripping it badly in the
process. "Ah.. ah.. nothing..." he stammered, compulsively scratching the
back of his head.

	Akane tried not to let the blizzard of dandruff he was stirring up
bother her. But her funny look in his direction made Ryouga somehow
remember the quiz's advice, he had to keep cool. Or in this case regain
his cool.

	Normally Akane's presence made him too nervous to maintain any kind of
rational thought. While the joy of knowing they were on an actual date
had relieved some of his depression, the horror of becoming a vampire and
a murderer had taken him to new lows he never knew were possible.

	The combination of the two extremes cancelled each other out to give
Ryouga a calmer detached look on things. He was attentive because of his
nervousness, yet apathetically still depressed. Sadly, this was Ryouga at
his coolest. Luckily, now was the best time for it. Akane asked him
again.

	"Reading?" Ryouga said searching for a white lie. "Ah, just a note to
myself. It uh... seems I had a duel two days ago in umm, Bangkok." 'Oh
yeah Thailand, good one dummy,' Ryouga just wanted to smack himself one.

	"Wow Bangkok. Who was it with?" she asked, envisioning him hunting down
some slimy pimp.

	"I dunno who it was with, it was just some back street cash contest. If
I'd still been in town I might have entered it. Now what was it called,
the Kay.... Kaymu... Kaymu what? Ah, I give up, it was the
Kaymu-something or other." This was in fact true, the invitation to this
contest had been so flattering he had wanted to go. Of course he wasn't
two days late for it, he was three months late. Still Ryouga was finding
a comfortable rhythm of lying.

	"Well lucky for the other guy I guess. Say Ryouga, how'd you learn to
fight, anyway? I heard somewhere your Dad runs a family school like ours,
is it true?" Akane asked, sniffing bravely at her Guinness, but not quite
ready for another taste.

	"The ol'man?" Ryouga asked. If there was a Hibiki family dojo it was
news to him. "Well, I picked a little up from him, but mostly I learned
on the streets. All the ol' man taught me was how to take a punch. Some
of the guys in my crew had real martial arts training, and they taught
the rest of us what they could. I tried to learn everything they knew,"
Ryouga told her, revealing a secret piece of his past.

	Akane stopped inspecting her drink and looked at Ryouga, "You mean you
have no formal training?" she asked not entirely believing him. "None at
all?"

	"Only in the short time I studied with Cologne. I joined a few dojo's
over the years when I had the money, but it never lasts. I either get
kicked out for not attending, or being too rough. So I just fight with
the combination of styles I've learned over the years or taught myself,"
Ryouga explained and slurped his beer.

	Akane was still unconvinced, she remained doubtful that Ryouga had never
been formally taught. In a way it was insulting to Akane that he could be
almost as skilled as herself, without putting in an equal number of years
training in only one art. What he was saying went against a lot what she
had been taught to believe. To put him to the test she asked, "So exactly
what all DO you know?" There was a touch more venom in her voice then she
had intended.

	"You mean what styles do I use? Mostly it's just Karate and Kempo, but I
also employ bits and pieces of Muay Thai, and know the basics of Krav
Maga," he explained.

	"Krav Maga? Isn't that what the Israel armed forces use? Where on earth
did you learn that?"

	"From a wandering Jew, naturally," he said. (Author's Note: This is a
bad inside joke, not a bad ethnic joke. Please don't send any e-mail
calling me a nazi. Fuck, people are getting so politically correct it
borders on paranoia.)(EN: Don't even get me started, WASP Boy.) (AN: Aw
shaddup.)

	"Oh, that makes sense. I've never liked modern military styles. They're
functional sure, but they just come off as being so.. so..." Akane
trailed off looking for the proper adjective.

	"Uninspired," Ryouga suggested. "I know what you mean. But Krav Maga has
a bit more depth to it than most army systems, and I really like the way
it's grappling manoeuvres rely on minimal commitment to the attack. That
way your options stay open."

	"Sounds a bit more like Ranma's style then yours," Akane said impressed.

	"Uncommitted, yeah I can imagine, he's totally uncommitted. I know what
you mean, EXACTLY what you mean," the Lost Boy scorned, reminded of how
Ranma flaunted Akane with his stable of sluts.

	"Well that too, but I meant the part about keeping your options open,"
Akane replied and noticed the blatant resentment of Ranma in what he
said. While she didn't expect him to be praising his enemy, lack of
commitment did not quite make sense. Or maybe it did... Akane had to
wonder about the wanderer, and just what had gone down between him and
Ranma. "So anyway, what you are saying is it allows for some creative
applications, but over all Krav Maga still lacks poetry."

	"I'd say you're right on the money. Every time I think about the overall
importance of poetry and rhythm in Martial Arts, it makes me glad I
studied Capoeira," Ryouga said and took another sip of his beer. He
wished Akane would hurry up and drink hers, that way he wouldn't feel bad
about ordering a second.

	"Capoeira?" Akane asked. "You have got to be kidding, I've never seen
you use that." Akane like many traditionalists, didn't even rate it as a
Martial Art. To her type of thinking, if it wasn't from the orient, it
wasn't even an art. Everything else was just brawling.

	"That's because I don't fight with it," he explained. "It's almost
impossible to work Capoeira moves into my personal style, since it's so
different from everything else I know. Which like I said, is mostly
Karate I learned the other members of my gang," inside his head, a voice
was screaming at Ryouga. Why the hell was he telling her his most closely
guarded secrets?

	The truth was after everything that had happened, he needed to talk
about himself for once. And it was easiest with someone who he cared
about, and who also cared about him, even if it was only as a friend. Or
as a pet piglet.

	"You were in a gang? When was this?" Akane asked. She never would have
dreamed it.

	"I joined when I was fourteen," Ryouga said. "My two closest friends,
the ones who taught me to fight, they were doing it so I did too. I mean
they were like my family."

	"Well, I'm glad you got out of that kind of life. You could have gotten
yourself into serious trouble," Akane said, sounding a little self
righteous in Ryouga's ear.

	"I didn't, you'll notice I'm still wearing the colours, yellow and
black," he said grimly pointing at his bandanna. He lit a cigarette, now
that he was undead he might as well smoke. "The reason I'm not with them
is a bit painful. We were all involved in a, shall we say 'a border
dispute' with a rival pack. It was just us three, against seven. Both my
friends were killed, and if the filth hadn't shown, they probably
would've finished me off too."

	His gruesome tale had Akane shocked. If anyone else had suffered like he
had, they would be lashing out at the world, and Ryouga was such a nice
guy. But then again, he did declare a vendetta over stolen bread, and
spent ninety percent of his time on the road doing God knows what. "Did
they ever find them?" she squeaked.

	"Two of the three that did the cutting got caught and went down for
fifteen on second degree. The third got away, but my crew caught up with
him while I was doing time in juvenile hall. Course that's where I met
Ranma, and you know the rest." Actually no, she did not know anything
close to the rest of the story. But it was in his best interests not to
let her know about Nodoka and P-chan.

	"Wait a second," Akane snapped. "You met Ranma in Juvey? He said you
both went to the same school."

	"Well, in a way I guess we did. Except it was a private school and they
kept you under lock and key," Ryouga shrugged. "Anyway Ranma's not the
most honest person in the world to begin with."

	Akane would have to ask her betrothed about this later. "What were you
in for anyway? I didn't know being ambushed was a crime."

	"I assaulted the cop questioning me in the hospital, knocked out two
teeth." he said flatly. Ryouga had to come to hate police over the years,
it wasn't a idealistic kind of hate like with Ranma. Beating Ranma was a
reason to keep on living, what drove him on from day to day. For cops he
had only hate, their degrading attitude and superior ways disgusted him.
At least he respected Ranma as a martial artist.

	"You assaulted a police officer!" Akane gasped loudly causing heads to
turn in their direction. Not caring Akane continued. "Me too, kicked the
dirty bastard's nuts right into his guts!" She was giving him a beaming
smile, she hated police too.

	"Good for you," Ryouga nodded his approval. "But did you get put away
for it?"

	"They gave me five months, but I only served three," she said proudly.

	Ryouga let out a low whistle that she mistook as respect for her
hardships. Instead he told her his about own, "Man, they really do go
easy on you chicks. I got eight count em, eight, whole months. None of
that early release stuff."

	It didn't bother her much though, they had found a mutual bond. Still
smiling Akane looked him in the eye and said, "You know Ryouga I feel
closer to you right now than ever before, and there is something I need
to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago, but I was
afraid you wouldn't understand."

	Ryouga's vampire heart skipped a beat, and his jaw dropped. "What is
it?" he whispered, dare he even hope it? Could it be all his dreams were
about to come true? So she told him, and his world fell apart.

^\^
 ^

	A large chunk of Gosunkugi's memory was missing, the typical result of
Shampoo's 911 treatment. It wasn't his fault he had been brain washed,
but it was driving Doctor Tofu up the wall. His interrogation of the
skinny fuck was going nowhere, and he needed information.

	Not only had he failed to eliminate Shampoo and Kodachi as ordered, he
gave them his name! And now to top it off, to make it all a perfect
disaster; a very important piece of text had gone missing from his
office. And who had been in his office just prior to it's disappearance,
who also knew it's value?

	That's right, Gosunkugi. Not that he remembered anything about it!
Hypnosis, truth serum, and several highly unpleasant sessions of
acupressure, Tofu had tried it all.

	In the end it was clear to him what had happened. The 411 technique
seemed like the obvious solution, but he needed to know exactly what
Shampoo had removed, before he could restore it. Anything else would
destroy Gosunkugi's already feeble mind, he needed to know what she had
said word for word.

	There was no other option, Tofu needed the text. He would have to make
Shampoo tell him what she said when she brainwashed Gosunkugi.

	The Good Doctor left the flat with the kid sprawled across the floor,
out like a light. Tofu briefly wondered why Gosunkugi's parents were
never home, but decided he didn't care. So he made his way through the
early evening twilight to where he'd find Shampoo. He wondered how she
would be feeling now that her supply had been cut off... Probably not to
good.



Subterranean Nerima Nightlife
Chapter Six: Nodoka and Ryouga's Tale

She goes running for the shelter,
Of her mother's little helper.
The Rolling Stones 'Mother's Little Helper'



	"NO, THIS IS NOT ALL RANMA'S FAULT!" Akane bellowed. Ryouga had not been
as accepting of her sexual orientation as she had hoped he would. And for
Akane, like most chicks, the line between disappointed, and pissed right
off was very thin indeed.

	Ryouga just stood there stunned by her rebuke. The overwhelming rage
he'd felt moments ago, rage that had compelled him to reduce their table
to splinters, was now completely and utterly drained out of him. He
slowly touched his cheek where she'd slapped him. She'd slapped him....

	"It's me Ryouga, that's the way I am, gay. Why don't you understand?
It's nobody's fault...." Yet another downward turn on the emotional
roller-coaster that was Akane's life. She dashed out of the pub
struggling, and failing to hold back the tears. "You're my friend Ryouga,
I thought you would understand..."

	From the shadows in a dark booth in the corner of the pub, Nodoka
watched this amusing little drama unfold. 'My young apprentice,' she
thought to herself. 'Seems quite smitten with my son's bride. And she
wants nothing to do with men at all. Hah! An interesting development....
But were seven and a half pages of them chatting in chapter five really
beneficial to the plot?' (Author's note: Hey now! Leave me alone Nodoka,
it seemed appropriate at the time. Jeez, your almost as bad as the
Editor.)

Nodoka:	You think so do you?

Author:	Yeah! Now get back the story, you're supposed to be stalking
Ryouga.

Nodoka: 	I'm as bad as the Editor, eh? Well, what do you think about
this! (Pulls the editor's pale corpse up from under the table, two
tell-tale bite marks in the middle of a hickey plainly visible on her
neck.)

Author:	What.... what? You killed Sandra! Why you bitch?! SANDRA! (shakes
corpse violently, desperate for any sign of life) Wow, she's a lot
lighter with all her blood gone.

Nodoka:	Well, she was the one begging for it to be a self insertion
fic.....

^\^
 ^

	Kuno prepared to hunt the hunter. As a member of the ruling class, and a
Martial Artist, it was his duty to protect the peasants of Nerima from
the unholy monstrosity of Ryouga Hibiki. He paused briefly, to double
check his equipment. First and foremost, there was his bokken, the tip
sharpened to a stabbing point. Kuno had hated to do it, but a true
warrior such as he, knew the virtue of sacrifice. After all wood, not
steel, was needed to kill the undead. He could always count on Hollywood
to get the facts straight. Item number two;..... actually there was no
second item, that pretty much concluded the list of equipment.

	Ah well, what of it? His trusty, now pointy, bokken was all he needed.
He patted the loyal Sasuke's shoulder as he left for the hunt. He was a
good man, although weak in force of will and mind. Kuno reflected on how
the depth and intensity of his poems, were enough to drive his servant
over the brink of madness. Sasuke was recovering quickly from his
dementia, and was now able to return to his duties. But could Sasuke, or
any lesser man have faced the beast Hibiki and stayed a friend to sanity?
Kuno doubted it, a frame of mind such as his, was rare. Truly.

	"The vampire I seek to slay, killer of my compatriot the virtuous
Zataki, is no doubt in league with that foul Saotome. Hence my search
shall begin at the home of the Fair Akane Tendo, which is fouled by his
dwelling," Kuno said aloud, assuming someone was listening, and departed
into the sunset.

	If Zataki had been in a grave, Kuno's speech would have made him roll
over in it.

^\^
 ^

	Nodoka lurked outside her sons bedroom window, and peered inside at her
baby. Seeing him for the first time since he'd been taken from her, and
was exasperated by what his father had done to him.

	Ranma shook and trembled on his bed, in the grip of a nightmare. He
looked ill to her eyes, sick in body and soul. She cursed that bastard
Genma, and herself. How could she have let this happen to her own flesh
and blood? She should have been satisfied that she had a healthy child,
and now look at him.

	Damn that so-called training of Genma's! The scars of it on her boy's
psyche that were as obvious as the ones on his body. The kid desperately
needed a hair cut too, he looked like some kind of fucking hippie faggot
with that braid!

	She longed to comfort him, for him to feel the love he had been deprived
of all his. But she couldn't, not tonight. So instead Nodoka relaxed and
opened up her mind, and let her consciousness flow out and felt her son's
pain..... 

Ranma is alone in a crowded tavern. Behind a huge circular bar that
served as the ring for the Martial Arts Bartending Competition. He mixes
another drink and puts it into the hand of a phantom consumer. Only one
opponent remains, he has to dodge. Dodge! Dodge, counter strike, get the
bottle, block, block, protect that bottle, kick! Good work, now again and
hope he's stunned long enough to pour. Club soda in the drink.... no he's
up! Spray cola in his eyes, club soda in the drink, slam it on the bar...
TIME!! The ref. materialises and pours two shots for the last two
combatants. What! Gin? Who the fuck shoots gin? Ah well, look the other
bastard in the eye, toast him, he drinks to you Ranma. Harder and harder
to stand straight, NO! He's going for a bottle, lash the arms out and
dive, get it away from him, end it here and now, that's the ticket...
where'd he go? still flying, ah! hit in the back in mid-air even, flying
forward cannot, cannot just CANNOT leave the ring!.... there grab hold,
still moving, hold on, squeeze, SQUEEZE, there now twist, wet, that's it
flip yourself back in, warm, snap kick, snap? and uppercut. He's going
down, red, spilled the drink, oh yeah, red, and broke the bottle, wet,
and out cold out victory on three counts, victory, VICTORY quiet so quiet
in my victory why is my hand warm? wet red warm what's in my hand what
did i grab to get back in the ring what's wet in my warm hand in my red
hand what's wrong with that guy over there? eyes bulging badly can't be
healthy but VICTORY but quiet but he's bleeding blood his neck is
bleeding what's in my hand wet warm red wet and warm look at him i
grabbed him to get back in the ring didn't i what's wrong with him what
is in my hand is in my hand what's wrong is in my hand wet warm red warm
wet
									SQUEEZE!

	"Ah!" Ranma sat up straight on his futon, staring at his hands as he
struggled for breath, and soaked in an icy sweat. The killing of that guy
in the Bartending contest still haunted him. He wondered if it would ever
stop, ever leave him alone. Even now he didn't feel alone.

	He flicked on the reading light, and searched the foot of the bed until
he found his flask. He twisted the cap off with a savagery that revealed
his desperation, and drank deeply. Ranma had been hitting the bottle
awful hard ever since the accident. His subconscious using the logic that
boozing had gotten him into this mess, and maybe it could get him out.
Still unseen, Nodoka continued to explore his mind.

	He had spent the last half of the expedition getting drunk with is
father and Tendo-san. In a futile attempt to drown his sorrows. The logic
behind this lunacy was that Ranma had to get back in the saddle before
anything else, and never admit defeat. Soun had tried to comfort him, but
his father would have none of it.

	"If I wanted the boy coddled, I'd have left him at his mother's tit," he
had said. "Now look at me Ranma, look at me. Innocent people die every
day. A true martial artist does not concern himself with the inevitable
civilian casualties, instead he fights for the greater good."

	"What greater good? I weren't defending some little hick village from
the bandit hordes, ya know! Was a drunken brawl, a fuckin' scrap in some
fuckin' pub! Where's the good in that?" He howled the day after the
contest, as the three of them drank their breakfast. At his father's
suggestion, naturally. Ranma had tried to hold back the tears but they
spilled out anyway. When Genma saw them he was furious.

	"Principle! You still don't understand it, and I fear maybe you never
will. You fight for the wrong reasons boy, in self defence, or for lost
causes, never principle. You never fight simply to fight, your values and
morals cloud your mind. I have failed to make a man out of you. I have no
son to follow me! Instead I have an idealistic cry-baby like Soun," he
paused for a moment.

	"Ranma you have my blessing to marry any of your other 'fiancées.' And I
honestly hope you are happy together, and have many healthy daughters.
Daughters because that is all you are fit to raise! And what's more..."
Genma was cut off by a round house kick to the jaw, as his oldest and
dearest friend schitzed on him. It was all downhill from there.

	Nodoka had learned quite enough, more than she wanted in fact. She
dissolved into the night more resolute than ever before. Once she was
through with him, Genma would be begging for seppuku. Ryouga was the key
to his destruction, now if only she could find the stupid bastard.

^\^
 ^

	Ryouga couldn't take it anymore. He had gotten hopelessly lost trying to
find Akane. The loss of her friendship had been the last straw, all the
negativity and hurt were to much to bare, something had to be done. This
pain he was feeling could be dealt with in a normal, healthy display of
emotion such as crying for a couple hours, before eventually pulling
himself back together. Or it could be released in the form of a Chi
blast, allowing him to stay detached from himself, and invite long term
emotional trauma.

	No contest, because guys don't cry. Ryouga looked for something to blast
as he got into position, and took a deep breath. "Shi-shi..." he started.
Odd, something seemed out of order. He rolled his shoulders and began to
concentrate harder. "Shi-shi..." still nothing happened.
"SHI-SHI-HOU-...."

	Ryouga closed his eyes and let him mind slip inward, taking an
introspective look at his inner self and his Chi. Everything inside him
on this metaphysical level was different. As a vampire his Chi had
changed radically, and could no longer be summoned.

	Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. It looked like plan 'A' won out after
all. He tried to fight it off, but knew it was hopeless. The tears were
swelling up now, along with other unwanted fluids. His nose became
snotty, and the mouth began to water uncontrollably in preparation of the
long over due show.

	Ryouga sat down with his back to a near by warehouse, and hoped he was
at least out of all earshot. He hadn't really cried like this in years.
Sometimes tears slipped past him, these he wrote off as tears of anger or
bitterness. And he never let them slow him down. But this, this was a
whole different animal to be dealt with. The dam had not only cracked,
but was about to burst. The voice in the back of his head, that screamed
at him to stop his whining and be a man, could barely be heard. That
voice had been drowned out, swept away by the torrent of heart ache.

	He began to whimper softly at first, still trying keep himself from
losing it all together. But it couldn't be stopped, and soon he was
sobbing into his hands uncontrollably. His mind struggling to come to
terms and deal with all the pain, grief, and humiliation. It was going to
take a long, long time.

	A window pane above his head, lifted open and a voice shouted, "Go way!"
Ryouga looked up, and saw Shampoo, leaning out in her night gown. She was
mad as all hell, and looked it too.  Dark bags hung under her sunken
eyes, and her skin had large unhealthy blotches all over it.

	"Shampoo," he snivelled through the tears and mucus. "What are you doing
in that abandoned warehouse?"

	"Shampoo no in whorehouse!" she yelled indignantly. "Shampoo in Shampoo
house, in Nerima! And you keeping Shampoo awake!" It was hard enough to
sleep without him serenading her with his boo hoo hooing. The world
seemed to be overflowing with weak men, and Japan most of all. Save Ranma
of course, her beloved Ranma. "Oh Ranma..." she said out loud. Withdrawal
was making her more than a bit loopy in the head.

	"I...I'm sorry. I'll be going, I won't bother you anymore," Ryouga said
looking at the ground. Bad enough he had been crying, but being caught
made it worse.

	Shampoo watched as he turned and started to walk away. As an Amazon
warrior, she had been trained since birth to be cold and without
compassion, especially when dealing with men. But in her delirium she saw
something about him that was so damn pitiable. Even though last night
they had been bitter enemies, now she wanted to do him a favour. "Lost
Boy, you wait," she called.

	Ryouga turned around as she closed the window. As he waited, he took the
bandanna he used as a hanky out of his pocket and blew his nose.
Disgusted by how full the bandanna suddenly was, he carefully tucked it
into one of his socks in the dirty laundry section of his pack. The
distraction Shampoo had caused him had put the water works on hold for
the moment.

	Shampoo opened the window again with her gift. "Here Lost Boy," Shampoo
said as she tossed a dagger to the ground near his feet. "Now do what
need do."

	Ryouga cringed, that was cold blooded, really cold blooded. It was also
a little tempting. "Is that how you cheer people up Shampoo!?" he
demanded becoming enraged. "And you wonder why Ranma doesn't want you,
you filthy foreign born femi-nazi!" He could feel it again, the monstrous
rage inside him. The beast that had nearly driven him to kill Kuno, and
now it was turning him against Shampoo.

	"Ai ren no want Shampoo?" Shampoo asked as her sickly daze spiralled
deeper. "...aiya, and you no want to die? Just sad?" She had been led to
believe all Japanese people wanted to commit suicide. It was like, a part
of their heritage right? When in doubt, off yourself. Idiotic by any
Amazonian standards, but when in Rome..

	Ryouga took a good look at her and saw something was wrong. The girl was
off in club cuckoo land. Once he understood she wasn't a threat, the
demon eased off suddenly, and disappeared. This left Ryouga a bit
confused, it wasn't the way he had expected 'The Unspeakable Evil Within'
to behave. "Are you okay Shampoo?"

	"And you... and.... you..." Shampoo's eyes started to bulge, and her
cheeks puffed. Feeling her stomach heave, Shampoo quickly put one hand
over her mouth. Unfortunately it was the hand she had been using to keep
the window open. The heavy frame came cracking down on the back of her
skull like a guillotine, and the contents of her stomach shot out in a
vile arch.

	It took all of Ryouga's martial arts skill to roll away from 'ground
zero' as it were, and open his umbrella in time to block the splash. He
tried not to take it personally, but couldn't help suspecting she was
aiming for him. "Are you gonna be okay, Shampoo?" he asked. It was no
surprise when she didn't answer him, she was still busy coughing up
colours.

	Once she finished, he asked again and lifted the window off her head.
She only whimpered, and rubbed the huge knotted bump where it had landed.
Ryouga took a fresh bandanna and wiped her mouth off with it, and then
his umbrella. "Here," he said and offered her his water bottle. He
noticed she was sweating heavily, and picked up the acidic scent of urine
as well. Not from anywhere in the room, the smell was coming off
Shampoo's skin as she perspired. Over-worked kidneys and flushing system
were literally, sweating the drugs out of her.

	Shampoo belched loudly, accepted the water, and rinsed her mouth with
it. "Thank you Ryouga, and Shampoo sorry," with that she closed the
window and tried to sleep again.

	Ryouga sighed and shook his head, yuck barfy backwash. He poured the
water out, and listened to a strange noise. It was the withered Cologne
pogoing up to him on her staff. "Hello Cologne," he said without looking
at her.

	"Good evening Ryouga. I thought I heard you out here. Thank you for
being so gentle with Shampoo. I worried for a moment you would react to
her insult more violently. I can't imagine what's happened to my Great
Granddaughter, she's normally so healthy..." Concern was easily heard in
her dry cracked voice.

	Ryouga knew Cologne was very wise in the ways of magic and medicine.
Maybe she could help him now, as she had in the past. "No problem, I
could see she wasn't herself. I'm glad I ran into you. You see I have a
uh, problem. And was hoping you might offer some advice."

	Cologne agreed and invited him inside, any distraction from Shampoo's
illness would be a welcome one. So naturally, Ryouga, being the no class
baka that he was had to bring it up.

	"You know, I'd almost say that Shampoo is suffering some kind of
withdrawal," Ryouga said carefully as they sat down. Cologne glared at
him as if she had never been so insulted in all her life.

	"I have never been so insulted in all my life!" she snapped, rather
predictably. But I guess that's more my fault than hers.

	"I'm sorry!" he asserted as fast as he could. Putting his palms in front
apologetically, as if trying to push her anger back and away. "It's just
I've seen a lot of that sort of thing, and in my humble, amateur, opinion
there are a few... well, similarities is all."

	"Still, I should like to think I raised her better than that!" Cologne
snorted but accepted the apology. "Now tell me about your problem."

	"Well, it started about a month ago....." he started, and aside from the
part about Dr. Tofu being attacked, told her the whole story. "So can you
help me?" he asked once he had finished.

	The old woman look downward sadly, and clenched her staff tightly. It
was tragedy for one so young to meet with such a dark fate, especially
this one. Why him? Why not Mousse, or Genma, or Kuno, or Mousse? Or any
of the others? Or that idiot Mousse? Why did it have to be Ryouga? He was
such... such a.... a perfect tool. None were more gullible and stubborn
then he. Would anyone else let themselves, nay, DEMAND to have boulders
flung at them? She hated to lose such a rare pawn. At least it wasn't her
son-in-law.

	"Yes Ryouga, I can help you find peace," she said grimly. "But it will
only be IN DEATH!" The ancient Amazon screeched and lashed out at Ryouga,
striking him twice in the noggin with the business end of her staff.

	Ryouga was knocked flat on his back. The next thing he knew, Cologne was
looming over him, the narrow end of her stick glowing yellow, poised
above his heart. Even though it was what she considered a mercy killing,
Cologne relished this split second of his helplessness. It was one of the
few times she was able to loom over an opponent. "Ah ha," she cackled
dryly and humourlessly. "An opening."

(Editor's Note: Well if she didn't want him to see it, she should wear
longer skirts!) (Author's Note: Didn't I kill you off?)

	"I think not hag," disembodied voice boomed, as the lights fizzled out.
"This one is not yours to take."

^\^
 ^

	Tsubasa walked into the back kitchen of Uchan's restaurant, to find the
boss hunched over the counter, merrily chopping away. He (she) waited
patiently, knowing Ukyou didn't like to be disturbed while prepping up
for the night ahead. He passed the time by checking himself out in his
compact, listening to the rhythmic tapping sound.

	'Not bad, not bad at all,' Tsubasa decided. He had covered the bruises
from the previous night's beating almost perfectly. One lip was still a
bit swollen, but there wasn't much that could be done about it. All
things considered he'd done a good job.

	Tsubasa's attention went back to Ukyou, as he heard a loud sniffing
noise and saw her head jerk back. Tsubasa looked up and sighed glumly, as
he watched his love snort another line of the freshly chopped speed off a
CD on the counter top. It used to be this time of night Ukyou would have
been busy chopping vegetables, and making her special sauce, but not
anymore. Okonomiyaki alone didn't pay the bills. Ukyou had busted her ass
trying to make a go of the place, but the expenses always out weighed her
thin profit margin. But no more, now she had it made. And while the Uchan
was a miserable livelihood, it made one hell of a front for her new
enterprise.

	Ukyou tapped the rolled up yen note on the CD, and set it down. She felt
the familiar burning sensation in her right nostril, and a dull throb
behind her eyeball as the amphetamine took affect. She rubbed the side of
her nose and noticed Tsubasa standing there. "Hey Basa, what's up?" 

	Tsubasa smiled, he liked it when Ukyou called him that. But of course,
she always treated him well the day after a beating. All the same he was
reluctant to speak, "Hiya Boss, umm, I was a wondering if.... I maybe
could, likesay, maybe get something to eat?" Ukyou thought he needed to
lose a few pounds, and had put the kid on a very strict diet. With the
emphasis being on strict. As it was, for the last four days he'd been
living on salad, coffee, and speed. The only protein he'd been getting
was his client's jizzam. Hunger had driven him to take up swallowing. It
wasn't really that bad.

	"Turn around," Ukyou commanded, and he briskly did what he was told.
"Lift the skirt up," she said flatly. The monotone of her voice made
Tsubasa's stomach quiver because he couldn't interpret it's meaning.
Nervously he obeyed.

	Ukyou took careful look at his figure. "No," she decided. "I think you
should stick to your diet for a little longer."

	Tsubasa folded his skirt back down and turned to her. "But Bu-ah-Ss," he
whined, trying to look cute fluttering his eyelashes. "You let Konatsu
eat all the time."

	"And yet somehow, YOU, still manage to have a fatter ass!" Ukyou
snapped, as she pulled out her pimp stick/spatula. It was two or three
times the size of one of her throwing spatulas, but without the sharp
edge. Very useful for keeping the boys in line. "Now I want you to slim
up some more, and get your figure back. And you KNOW what happens if I
catch you cheating, don't you?" she demanded as she whacked the spatula
sharply across the counter top.

	The sudden display of violence startled the jittery Tsubasa, he said
nothing but looked down, his arms folded insecurely across his stomach.
Ukyou had to smile at the reaction she had achieved. This feeling of
power over him, combined with that sweet first rush of speed, was nothing
less than beautiful. But now, to make the skull fuck complete, she had to
make him think she cared.

	Ukyou struggled not to gag. Not because of the bitter gritty, post-nasal
drip in the back of her mouth. The result of her over indulging in too
much poor man's coke too quick. It was because she knew what she had to
do; take Tsubasa to bed.

	She draped an arm over his shoulders, and told him what he wanted to
hear. She needed him, respected his sacrifice, and only made him diet
because she wanted him to stay so, so pretty. Along with all the other
usual bullshit.

	And as soon as Konatsu was busy, she promised they would be alone
together. But they would have to wait because, 'You know how he gets
sometimes.' 

	Tsubasa smiled up at her, and she offered him a taste of what was on the
counter. As always it worked perfectly, she owned his ass, and she could
rent it out.


	Sure as hell beat working, and he wasn't all that bad in bed either. Not
endowed with the kind of size Konatsu had, but he had a tongue and knew
how to use it.

	A problem did exist though, her stable was flawed. She had two boys
working for her, that she passed off as girls. Letting it be known that
her parlour only offered oral sex or a handy. To ensure a decent flow,
she offered a lower price for those services. But now some of the
regulars were getting greedy, and whining about wanting penetrative sex.
The old mark inside would be in the post soon if things didn't change.
Ukyou knew what she needed to do, recruit bona fide female flesh, and cut
the two wannabe's loose before people got wise to her.

^\^
 ^

	Ryouga knew who his saviour was, but couldn't decide if he was better
off for it or not. He hurt so bad and deep he wished, or thought he
wished to die. Maybe Cologne was right, this was the only peace a monster
like him could hope for.

	He snagged a tight hold of Cologne's staff in that split second she was
distracted, saving himself from a nasty splinter in his aorta. The old
ghoul might have been a master of the art, more nimble then Ranma, and
more cunning than anybody, but she wasn't as strong in her old age.
Ryouga was surprised by how little difficulty she presented as he tore it
from her.

	"No-doe-caw," Cologne said softly, drawing the sounds out in a dry
hateful rasp, as she backed away into a defensive crouch. "We meet once
more."

	"Yes, you tedious old crone. Somehow it fails to surprise me that our
paths have crossed again," Nodoka's bodiless voice echoed through the
room.

	Ryouga looked around for the source of his sensei's voice without
success, then focused his attention on the amazon queen. Cologne looked
worried, her eyes were the size of saucers. No wait that to be excepted,
for Cologne it was normal. Yet there was something else about her, that
Ryouga couldn't put his finger on that simply radiated fear.

And then the door bell rang, ruining the artfully written suspense of the
scene.

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/subway/1888/txt

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