Excel Saga by Rikudou Koushi: Serialized in Young King Comics
Excel Saga Manga Translation version 1.1
Volume 1 Mission 1
P.5
Ilpalazzo: The world is ...
Ilpalazzo: rotting!!
Ilpalazzo: Exactly how the world is rotting, let's put that aside for now.
Ilpalazzo: This world must be corrected by all means! However!
Ilpalazzo: The ignorant masses are unable to advance this world any further!
Ilpalazzo: Let us start with one nation!
Ilpalazzo: However, in order to avoid exhaustion, we must change our goal once more!
Ilpalazzo: Even still, rest assured!
Ilpalazzo: This is the first step to being able to conquer the world!
Ilpalazzo: In other words, our objective-
P. 6
Ilpalazzo: CITY DOMINATION!!
*flowing cape
*clunk
P. 7
*Salute
Excel: HAIL ILPALAZZO!!
Mission 1 The Legend Begins
P. 8
Narrator: Yes! Somewhere, in a certain city!
Narrator: A certain place underground
Ilpalazzo: The masses cannot save themselves!
Narrator: Where they aim for city domination in order to achieve world domination
Ilpalazzo: No one else can save them!
Excel: That's exactly it!
Narrator: Secret organization Across's secret base!
Ilpalazzo: We are the only ones who can guide them on the right path...
Excel: You're the best! Ilpalazzo-sama!!
*toot toot
Ilpalazzo: That is, in other words...
*rattle rattle
Excel: Ah, I, Excel, would go through fire, go through water
P. 9
Ilpalazzo: Then go!
*kachunk
Excel: Aaaah!
Ilpalazzo: Our mission is that that great man does not finally accomplish his goal either.
It is inaccessable for a long time.
Excel: Ah!
Excel: My legs won't wooork!!
*sign on rope is "Use for Punishment"
Ilpalazzo: Furthermore, we will not overextend that important first step.
Excel: Uh, yeah Ilpalazzo-sama!
Excel: Yes yes!
Ilpalazzo: What is it Excel-kun?
Excel: Uh, yeah...
*drip drip
Excel: What is this hole for?
P. 10
Ilpalazzo: ...
Ilpalazzo: Was it shallow?
*shake shake shake
Ilpalazzo: By the way, I have a question,
Ilpalazzo: What is that doll that you have been carrying around recently?
Excel: Thank you for asking me as I hoped you would!
P. 11
Excel: Aiming for city domination, we, the "Ideal Driving Force Organization Across" are
the chosen path, under leader Ilpalazzo-sama, I, Excel hold the posts of manager,
staff officer, soldier and toilet cleaner. We only have two members. So, I think
as a syndicate, sadly, we are too lonely. So I spent all last night investing
2,500 yen on "private property"-
Excel: I spent all last night carving it out.
Ilpalazzo: oho...
*written on doll is "Newborn Baby's Name-Deku"
Ilpalazzo: I didn't notice. . .
Ilpalazzo: I didn't notice all this time that I was forcing such a burden on Excel-kun...
Ilpalazzo: I'll do whatever I can as soon as possible...
Excel: Ilpalazzo-sama, oh, my...
P. 12
Ilpalazzo: Anyway, starting now, the doll is the head of the revolution planning department.
Excel-kun is soldier and janitor.
Excel: Let's burn this thing.
*bof as doll catches fire
Ilpalazzo: Well then, about today's plan...
*crackle crackle
Excel: Oh,
Excel: Before the fire goes out,
Excel: Ehhh,
Excel: The sweet potatoes are almost done.
*whoosh whoosh
P. 13
Ilpalazzo: First is this VTR (video-tape recording)
*clickclickclickclickclick
Excel: Ah, kinda coool
*creak creak
Excel: Is. . .is it an old woman?
Excel: She moves like a breaking tree...
Ilpalazzo: She's an old woman, isn't she.
Ilpalazzo: At first glimpse, she looks like an old woman who couldn't do any harm, but the
truth is-
melodic beep beep beep
Excel: Ah, phone call-
Excel: Yes, it's me.
Ilpalazzo: ............
Excel: Eh, right now? Just a second...
Excel: Ah, no, I understand. I'll be right there, yes!
P. 14
Excel: err, anyhow, so you see-
Excel: I have to go to my part time job.
Ilpalazzo: A cellular phone, you have such an inelegant thing.
Excel: It didn't break when I fell into the water a second ago.
Excel: It's waterproof!!
Ilpalazzo: Don't worry.
Excel: Aaaa!
Excel: Lobsters!
Excel: Why are there lobsters? Eeeeek!
*ruffling clothes
Excel: Aaah! I'm off to wooork!
*beep beep beep beep ring ring ring
Ilpalazzo: Ah, hello? Is this Hishi Japan Newspaper company?
P. 15
Ilpalazzo: I'd like to ask about a help-wanted ad-
*big truck engine sounds
Excel: Eh?
Excel: Me?
P. 16
Excel: Ah stop there stop!!
Excel: Okaaay green!
Excel: Ok, go goooo!!
Excel: sto. . .
*hat slides forward
Excel: I have a part time job directing traffic...
Excel: Moving along nicely aren't they?
Foreman: Hey lady, you're talking to yourself a lot as usual.
Excel: Yo foreman!
Excel: What can I do for you!!
Foreman: Ah
P. 17
Foreman: The 10 ton truck is coming in!
*thud as Excel is hit truck
Foreman: You okay?
Excel: Th...That wath a nittle scary.
*bleed bleed
Excel: It was a good thing I delayed the banner.
Excel's thoughts: And all the people here are good people.
*waving baton sounds
Excel's thoughts: At any rate, this building will be ours, and you're helping us to make it.
Excel's thoughts: It's a matter of getting used to working for us
P. 18
Excel: Can't you stop once in a while?! You're so mean.
Excel's thoughts: write down the number in my "to be punished" notebook even though I think
he's harmless.
Excel: And old men!
Excel: And office ladies!
Excel: And even the puppy!!
Excel: In time all of you will be our servants!!
Excel: Quickly conquer them Ilpalazzo-sama!
*twirl twirl twirl
Ilpalazzo: Ha ha ha, I thought I told you it would be a long process-
Excel: Ah! Oh, I knew it, I'm saying this out loud!
P. 19
*KABOOM!
P. 20
*more KABOOM!
Worker: An accident! Accident!
Worker: Call an ambulance!
Worker: Put out the fire! The fire!
Worker: This is terrible!
*twirl twirl
Worker: The door won't open!
Worker: You alive?
Worker: Somebody! Hurry!
Worker: My arm! My aaarm!
*twirl twirl twirl twirl twirl
Worker: Chi. . .children are- children are inside!
*sirens blaring
Excel: DASH!
Excel's thoughts: Conspiracy! This is some kind of conspiracy!
Excel's thoughts: Mr. Foreman, workers, people affected, I'm sorry!
Excel's thoughts: Maybe using an alias was a good idea!!
P. 21
Excel's thoughts: Help! Ilpalazzo-samaaaa!
*oooo
Ilpalazzo: Step
*click
Ilpalazzo: All right.
*farther report "City Domination Plan No. 1023-Discard
*closer report "City Domination Plan No. 1024
Ilpalazzo: One attempt down the drain.
Ilpalazzo: Ah, hello? Can I get a home delivery?
Ilpalazzo: Can I get a large pizza, it's called something like "German Deluxe."
Ilpalazzo: What? Address and phone number?
P. 22
Ilpalazzo: I don't have to answer that because I am not an ordinary man!
*chirp chirp chirp
Excel: I'm hooome!
Excel: Welcome hooome!
*slam
Excel: Hey, hey, listen to this. Today, y'know something terrible happened.
*whoosh, slam
Excel: You've had a rough day huh? Okaaay take of your shoes! Take off your shoes!
P. 23
Excel: I know Ilpalazzo-sama...
*alone even if you cough
Excel: You said "talking to yourself is no good."
Excel: Siiigh
*unbuttoning sounds
Excel: A lot happened in my previous part-time job too.
Excel: I remember hearing that ignorant people's terrorism is an important part of world
domination.
Excel's thoughts: I guess you could call me a genius at always making everything look like
my fault.
Excel: Even though I managed to hold onto the last job two weeks longer than I held this
one.
P. 24
Excel: Even still who the heck could have done something so terrible...
*arrow-Memory of the past is already being altered.
Excel: But the past is the past! Face forward and GO!
Excel: To sleep! To sleep!
Excel: G'niiight
*fluff
*Excel wakes up with a gasp
P. 25
Excel's thoughts: Now that I think about it, that old woman I saw at the base today!
Excel's thoughts: Ilpalazzo-sama, what could it be that you were trying tell me?
Excel's thoughts: The enemy group's guerrilla?!
Excel's thoughts: Never! I don't believe it!
Excel's thoughts: No! No mistake, that's it!
Excel's thoughts: That and what happened today, it was all plotted against us!
Excel's thoughts: Ah! Ilpalazzo-sama! I'm being targetted!
Excel's thoughts: Help!
*pour pour
Excel's neighbor: What a miserable dinner.
P. 26
Excel: THE OLD WOMAN!!
Excelk's neighbor: Old woman huh?
Excel: The old woman!!
Excel's neighbor: Ol. . .
Excel's neighbor: I AIN'T AN OLD WOMAN!!
*THUD!
Excel: OLD WOMAN IS-
*THUD THUD!
Excel: THE SAAAME!!
P. 27
Excel's neighbor: What the hell is living next door!
Excel's neighbor: I thought the security deposit was cheap! Dammit!!
*chirp chirp
*meow
Excel: Good morning Ilpalazzo-sama! I know it's early but I have a question!
Excel: Umm
Excel: The image of the old woman from yesterday, what could it be?
P. 28
Ilpalazzo: Old woman?
Ilpalazzo: What are you talking about?
Excel: Eh, umm...
Ilpalazzo: I'll explain the tactics of 1024...
*stomach growling
Ilpalazzo: By the way, Excel-kun, did you eat a good breakfast this morning?
Excel: Of course, until my stomach stuck out!!
Narrator: Dreadful Secret Organization Across!
Narrator: It doesn't really matter, but when will it take that important first step?
Excel: Aaah! Whyyy?!
Excel: Baboons!!
Excel: Why are there baboons?!
Narrator: What could the old woman be?
Narrator: Anyway, do your best!!
End of Mission 1 (
geocities.com/tokyo/subway) (
geocities.com/tokyo)