Title: Mars Attacks! Starring: Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Jim Brown, Lukas Haas, Tom Jones, Danny DeVito, Rod Steiger, Natalie Portman, Martin Short, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Michael J. Fox Genre:  Cameos! Rated: PG-13 for being gross. Rating: **** (out of ****) This movie was great! The cast was just astounding. Firstly, this was a Jack Nicholson film, so it already gets two stars! However, he played two parts and one of them was the President! Which, by the way, he was really good at! There's three stars right there. But we're not done yet... Nats in it and she play's Jacky boy's daughter, so we'll throw on a star more to the rating and already it's four stars for four. However, Sarah Jessica Parker is in this movie, and her evil corruption of Mathew Broderick (who wasn't in the film unfortunetly) takes two stars off the rating. Glenn Close made no difference (except being a really bad wife to Jack), but no stars will be deduced for just not being able to live up to Jack's level. Martin Short working for the President and Michael J. Fox as a snazzy reporter (along with a little extra left from Nat) move the movie back up to three stars. We're not done yet though, 'cause we have Pierce Brosnan as a slick-backed hair science official. Four stars again! Although, do to several references to hicks and the fact that Michael J. Fox had a relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker, we're gonna knock the rating down to two stars. We're not done yet though, we still have really cool and funny looking Martians! Three stars! Besides that... TOM JONES ACTING! Four stars! Unfortunetly, Jack Nicholson gets killed, so we're down to three stars. Oh yeah, Nat kisses some funny looking hick, and we're down to two stars. Danny DeVito is able to bring the rating back up to three stars, but where are we gonna get one more to bring it to a four? Did someone say Tim Burton was directing the film? With a four star rating, Mars Attacks! joins the fields of the Alaay's Classics... well, nah.  It's not that good.  Three and a half out of four, but not four.  Sorry. Them fields are pretty damn crowded lately as it is. -Alaay-