"Cinderlad"
by Iridal
These FY characters do NOT belong to me! They belong to whoever they belong
to. Please don't sue, I am POOR!!! Thank you! Also, a special thanks to Lina
and Inori, who inspired my weirdness and I created this fairy tale parody!!
Arigatou!!
Once upon a time, there was a farmer named Chichiri and he and his wife
Arashi had three sons. The eldest son's name was Nuriko, the middle son's
name was Tamahome, and the youngest was named Tasuki...but, since no one in
his family really liked him...they all called him Cinderlad, cuz he always
set things on fire.
Now, this farmer raised dairy cows, and he noticed that every year, on a
certain night, the cows would be SO scared, they quit giving milk for a day
or two. So, he sent his eldest son, Nuriko to spend the night in the stable
and find out what's what.
Nuriko settled down to go to sleep, but at about midnight, he heard the
weirdest sound. So he said,
"That's it! I'm leaving. First I gotta sleep with the COWS for a night
and ruin my perfect hair, and now this weird noise is keeping me from my
beauty sleep?!?!"
So Nuriko went back home, and the cows got scared, and didn't give any milk
the next day. So, needless to say, Chichiri and his wife Arashi weren't too
happy.
So, the next year rolled around, and he sent his middle son, Tamahome, to
watch the cows....of course, he had to pay through the nose first, but hey...
So, Tamahome settled down to spend the night in the stable, and he fell
asleep dreaming of his girlfriend, Miaka, and ways to keep her fed.
But, around midnight, he heard a really weird noise. So he said, "You know,
Dad doesn't pay me enough to take this. I deserve a raise!!! I'm leaving!!!"
So, again, the cows got scared, they quit giving milk, and Chichiri suspended
Tamahome's allowance for a month.
Chichiri: "Ha ha ha. So there, no da!"
So, another year passed, and Chichiri was at a loss. His first two sons
failed, and he didn't want to trust the fate of his entire dairy industry to
his youngest, most irresponsible (and flammable) son.
But, Cinderlad-Tasuki begged and begged (and, at times, threatened to fry his
father). So, Chichiri (grudgingly) sent Cinderlad off to do a man's job....
watch cows.
So, Tasuki settled down to spend the night in the stable, and along around
midnight, he heard a really strange noise.
Tasuki: "Oi, this ain't so $&%@ bad." And he sat back and continued to watch
the cows.
The noise got louder, and WEIRDER!!! But he just snorted, and watched those
damn cows.
Then the noise got so loud, Tasuki was bouncing around the stable from the
noise vibrations, but STILL, he didn't leave.
Finally, that awful noise stopped, and all that could be heard was a munching
sound.
Tasuki: "What the $&^% IS that?!?"
So, Tasuki went outside to investigate what was interrupting his contemplation
of cows.
Standing in the field was a big red horse, with copper trappings and a
shining copper tessen strapped to the saddle. So Cinderlad caught the horse
and rode him off to his secret hideout to let Kouji watch him while he was
tending cattle.
When he returned the next morning, Chichiri, Nuriko, and Tamahome were
waiting to find out if the cows were unmilkable again. But they weren't...and
they all were amazed!! His parents were somewhat proud (mystified, but proud).
Tasuki: "Heh heh heh!"
This, of course, guaranteed that Tasuki would be stuck with cattle duty from
now on, but he was ok
with it....more uninterupted cow contemplation I guess.
The next year rolled around, Tasuki set up his bed in the stable to watch
cows, and that damn noise started up again. But Tasuki wasn't afraid...
actually, he was kinda pissed, since it kept waking him up out of cow dreams.
He just unhappily waited out the second really weird noise. So, after it died
down, he hauled ass out of the stable, and what should he see?
A big grey horse, with silver trappings, and a silver tessen strapped to the
saddle. So, like before, he caught the horse and rode it off to show Kouji.
Tasuki: "Kouji!! Kouji!! Look what I got!"
The next morning, the whole family turned out to see if the cows were scared
milkless. They weren't, and Tasuki was proud.
Tasuki: "Hell yeah!!"
Again, he was promised the (semi) dreaded night of de-milked cows, and
another year came around.
So, yet again, Tasuki bunked in the stable, and suffered through yet another
night of loud, weird noises. And, yet again, he looked outside after it was
over, and this time he saw a big black horse, with golden trappings, and a
golden tessen strapped to the saddle.
Tasuki: "HOT DAMN!!!"
And he rode the horse off the brag to poor Kouji.
Kouji: "Bro, you gotta stop waking me up in the middle of the night to show
me damn horses..."
About a week passed, and the local monarch, Hotohori, announced that his only
daughter, Iridal, would be having her 20th birthday. And, to celebrate her
upcoming adulthood, he was holding a contest: the winner would receive her
hand in marriage and half the kingdom (Some birthday present, huh?) All the
men of the kingdom were expected to attend.
So, Chichiri took Nuriko and Tamahome to the contest...Tasuki wasn't allowed,
as they all agreed he would probably toast the poor princess instead of win
her hand, and he liked cows WAY TOO MUCH. O.o
He just shrugged, and told his family he would spend the day getting drunk at
Kouji's house.
When Chichiri and his sons arrived, they were amazed at the contest held for
the beautious Princess Iridal!! She sat on the top of a steep sided
mountain...a mountain made totally of glass! In her lap were three golden
apples, and whoever could climb to the top and take the three apple would win
her hand.
The men tried and tried, but they could not climb to the top. Of course, it
didn't help that the Princess made fun of them the entire time. (That's our
Iridal!)
Around nightfall, Hotohori decided to call the contest off until the next day
...but suddenly, they all heard a rumbling off in the distance. They all
looked, and a dust cloud seemed to be coming closer and closer. Soon, they
could make out what it was: a huge red horse with a rider all in copper.
He and the horse rode right up to the mountain, and began to ride right up
the side! When he made it a 1/3 of the way, he turned around, and began to
ride away. But not before the Princess (irritated that he could make up that
far, and not go all the way) threw a golden apple at him.
Iridal: "You stupid moron!!! Take that!!!"
And the apple bounced off the rider's head and landed in his shoe. She got SO
irritated, she got down the glass mountain and locked herself in her room,
muttering something about moronic red-heads and their weirdo horses?!
The next day, everyone showed up at the contest, eager to prove that, if THAT
guy could do it, so could they. They all tried and tried, but no one could so
much as go up an inch on the slick surface (makes you wonder how she got up
there...)
Hotohori got frustrated, and around nightfall, moved to postpone the thing
AGAIN. But, as before, a rumbling came accompanied by a dust cloud.
As it got closer, the onlookers saw it was a huge grey horse with a rider all
in silver. He rode right up the side of the glass mountain, much to Iridal's
delight.
Iridal: "Woohoo!! I'm gonna get me some!!"
But, to everyone's dismay, he turned at the 2/3 mark (he must have heard
Iridal's ecchi comment) and rode back down. The princess got PISSED, and
tossed ANOTHER apple at his head, but even he can learn, for he caught it and
rode away laughing.
Silver Rider: "BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
The king was about to have a fit. He ordered the contest to be continued the
next day.
So, the next day, everything happened as before: they all tried, they all
failed, the king got POd, Iridal got POd, and the rumbling started up again.
It was a huge black horse this time ridden by a man all in gold. (How glaring!)
He rode right through the crowd, up the mountain, and stole the apple right
out of poor Iridal's lap (She was blinded by his glaringness, I guess).
Golden Rider: *sticks out tongue and rides away*
Now, the King and his daughter were at their wits end. Hotohori didn't know
who these three riders were that took the apples (yet they ALL had red hair...
very interesting...) and Iridal was just mad cuz she was left behind.
Iridal: "WHO DARES DUMP ME?!"
So, the king ordered that ALL the men of the kingdom HAD to appear and prove
whether or not they had an apple.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Chichiri insisted that his three sons all
appear before the king. Nuriko and Tamahome were happy to go (who wants to
stay with the cows all day?) but didn't want Tasuki to come along.
Tamahome: "Why should Fang-boy show up? He obviously wasn't there!! He wasn't
allowed to go! He spent the whole day drinking with his bandit friend!!"
Nuriko: "Besides, he smells like cows."
But Chichiri wouldn't be swayed. They all appeared before King Hotohori and
Princess Iridal. And they were all ordered to empty their pockets.
Nuriko emptied his, and all they found were combs and hair pins and stuff.
Tamahome emptied his, and out fell lots and lots of O-KA-NE!
When it got to Tasuki's turn, he refused. He may have refused, but the
princess threatened to bonk him one with her trusty flail (she learned not to
trust redheads, apparently).
Hotohori: "Faithful subject, do you have one of my daughter's golden apples?"
Tasuki: "Hell no!! I got all three!!!"
And he opened his pockets and extracted all three of the aforementioned
apples from his pockets.
Of course, that meant he had to marry Iridal. But, after she had a few words
with him (and threatened to keep her weapons handy at ALL times), they came
to an agreement, married, and lived happily ever after.
THE END
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