Once upon a time, there was a wandering monk by the name of Chichiri. He was a good monk, and always helped the local people and stuff.
One day, he happened to save a lost little kitty. But the kitty was special (it talked), and it promised to help Chichiri out whenever he needed it. How many talking kitties do that nowadays?
Now, Chichiri got tired of his wandering days, so he hired himself out as the fisherman for the Palace of Suzauku.
Now, the God Suzaku lived here (obviously, or it wouldn't be the Palace of Suzaku, would it?). With him lived twelve sorceresses, the masters of their fields, and each one young and beautiful, with an intelligent witty mind.
He had sorceresses that controlled the four elements: Lina, who was the leader in Fire Magic; Inori, the gentle mistress of Water; One-chan, the etheral mage of Air, and Momoko, a druidess. He had his own Shrine Maiden (what God is one without that?) named Miaka, and a prophetess named Iridal. There was a Lady of Light, Arilyn, who was the palace healer, and Hoshi, a Shadow Sorceress. There was Moon, who was the Master Illusionist, and Subaru, the Mistress of Time. And there was the pale Kaitana, who was the leader of the magic dealing with Ice.
But, the leader of all these sorceresses, and by far the most intelligent and wise, was the Lady of Storms, Arashi.
Now, Suzaku was very fond of his sorceresses, and he forbid them nothing (if he did, they probably join forces and kick his ass in a second). But, they had a disturbing problem....they went through shoes like water!!
Every morning, they showed up for breakfast and asked for new shoes. He just couldn't keep them shod!!! Although he was a god and all, he didn't like the idea of wasting time and energy trying to get them new shoes all the time....plus it was expensive!
So Suzaku put out a message throughout Konan: whoever might find out WHAT was going on at night that made the sorceresses need new shoes, would get the hand of the sorceress he desired (that, and the rest of her too).
Chichiri watched for a year as man after man came to the palace to find out the secret, and watched as morning after morning, the guards announced that the men disappeared. I guess no one should cross sorceresses with secrets who don't want to get married, huh?
And during that time, he happened to fall in love with one of those devious sorceresses, the fair and wise Arashi. But, seeing the track record of those others that went before him, he hesitated to try to figure out the secret...even if it meant having the beautiful Arashi as his wife. After all, many sorts of men tried before, and they never returned! Peasants, noblemen, bandits, warriors, perverts...no one ever got out alive.
Just when it seemed that he would have to resign himself to just loving her from afar, he saw something he thought he'd never see again....it was the magic talking kitty!!!
Kitty: "I told you I would help you if you ever needed me!!"
Chichiri: "Well kitty, no da....I need to figure out the sorceresses secret, no da."
The kitty just smiled (maybe he's a distant relation to the Cheshire cat?) and began to glow. Sitting before the kitty was a ordinary looking kasa and an ordinary looking cape.
Chichiri: *sarcastically* "Thanks a lot kitty, no da....Just what I always wanted, no da."
But, the kitty insisted that if he wore the kasa he would become invisible, and the cape would hide anything he wanted. So, Chichiri shrugged, took the kasa and cape, and set off the volunteer to watch the sorceresses for the night.
Unfortunately, he arrived a bit too late...there was a bandit who beat him to it. Chichiri watched as Suzaku ordered the red-headed bandit to figure out the young women's secret, but he wasn't angry...he had a plan!
Chichiri: *smiles* "I have a plan, no da!"
When night fell, and the bandit was led up to the slyly grinning sorceress' room, he donned his kasa and slipped into the room. Sure enough, no one noticed him in the room.
Chichiri: *to himself* "The kitty told me the truth, no da. I AM invisible..."
So, he waited in the corner of the room for the sorceresses to make their move.
One sorceress, the prophetess Iridal, engaged the bandit in conversation, and offered him a drink...you know, to settle the nerves. The bandit, not one to EVER turn down a stiff drink, gulped the alcohol down, and promptly passed out. v Chichiri: *to himself* "Wow, no da. That's some strong stuff, no da!!"
The sorceresses laughed, and the Illusionist hit a secret button on one of the beds. The back of the fireplace opened, revealing a secret passageway, and the Mage of Air floated the bandit's inert body down the passageway steps into the darkness.
Chichiri, curious now, followed the amused lady mages down the endless steps. However, he accidentily followed too close to Arashi (he was too busy smelling her hair to pay attention), and almost tripped her.
Arashi: "What the....?" *turns around and doesn't see anybody*
Finally, they reached the end of the steps, and came to a magical forest. The trees were made of silver and had leaves made of sapphires.
Chichiri: "Wow, no da!"
After awhile, these trees thinned out and were replaced by golden trees with emerald leaves. After THAT forest thinned out, the sorceresses and the invisible Chichiri came to the bank of a shining river.
Lined up on the bank were twelve little boats, with twelve men standing beside them, waiting for the group to arrive. Each sorceress (and the still passed out bandit) entered a little boat. Chichiri, not wanting to be left behind at this point, entered the boat with the gentle water soceress and her bishonen rower.
Each of the little boats left the shore and rowed across the stream to a misty castle at the other end. Luckily, the boat Chichiri hid in could keep up with the others, as the rower was unusally strong, as well as being bishonen.
Chichiri watched as the soceresses floated the bandit over to the tables lined up against the wall. The prophetess, who originally drugged him, woke the flame haired rogue. She and the Fire Mage forced him to drink a magic potion, and he stopped struggling and joined the ranks of the other rowers. Then each of the sorceresses chose a partner and danced the entire night.
Chichiri: *to himself* "That's what they do, no da? DANCE, no da?!?! They kept drugging minna and dancing, no da?!?"
They danced and danced until nearly dawn, when Arashi called out that it was time to leave. The dancers all boarded the boats and rowed to the other side, where the sorceresses (and the still hidden Chichiri) left the men behind at the boats.
The sorceresses and Chichiri ran through the gem forests and back up the stairs. He just managed to slip into the room as the Ice Mage slammed the secret passage shut.
When the door was opened just after dawn, the guards noticed (obviously) that the bandit from last night was not there. And, that the sorceresses' shoes were in ruins again!
Chichiri slipped out unseen and went to go think. (Read: he went fishing).
Chichiri: So THAT'S what has been happening to the sorceresses' shoes, no da....No wonder they go through so many of them, no da!! Well, tonight, I'll go again, just to make sure, no da...
So, again, he waited until someone volunteered to figure out the secret...this time a handsome Emperor.
Again, he put on his magic kasa and slipped into the room as the Emperor was let in. The emperor seated himself and accepted the drink the lovely shadow mage set before him.....baka, he too passed out.
The druidess opened the secret passage, and again, the Air Mage floated him down the stairs. Chichiri followed them down the stairs, through the two gem forests, and to the edge of the shining stream.
Chichiri: *is amazed* That bandit from the night before is one of the rowers, no da!!!
He slipped into the boat rowed by the previous nights 'guest.'
Tasuki: "Damn woman!!! Did you eat too much at dinner?!? You're ^*^*& too heavy!!!"
Iridal: *slaps the bandit* "Don't be insulting, baka. Just keep rowing!!!!"
Again, when they arrived at the misty castle, they all disembarked and the emperor was awakened.
Hoshi: "Wakie wakie....I got a drinkie-poo for someone...."
Hotohori: "What?!?! NO....." *is forced to drink the potion* +.+
Again, the rowers and the sorceresses danced the entire night, and again, around down Arashi summoned them all to return.
As the sorceresses and the hidden Chichiri went back through the gem forests, he stopped a second to snap off a emerald leaved branch as proof...
Arashi: *listens* "Hey Momoko....did you hear that?"
Momoko: *looks around* "No....you must be hearing things...."
Chichiri hid the emerald branch in his magic cape (the one that holds everything) and followed them.
Soon, they arrived at the other gem forest, and he again snapped off a sapphire leaved branch as proof.
Arashi: *listens* "Hey Kaitana, did you happen to hear that? I KNOW I heard something this time..."
Kaitana: *gives Arashi a strange look* "Uh...no...."
Chichiri again hid the branch in his cape and followed the sorceresses up the stairs. Or tried to, as he accidentily bumped into Arashi trying to catch up.
Arashi: *whirls around* "What the hell....? There's something down there!!!"
Arilyn: "Psst...Iri....Arashi's seeing things...should we be worried?"
Iridal: *shrugs*
Again, he managed to slip in the room before they slammed the door in his face, and snuck out when the guards came to collect the emperor and only found more worn-down shoes....
Guard #1: "I don't think his country is gonna like this...."
Guard #2: O.O
Chichiri headed out to his favorite fishing hole, and began to call for the magic talking kitty.
Kitty: *poofs* "You rang?"
Chichiri: "Magic kitty, no da. I would like to look presentable, so I may expose the secret of those sorceresses and win Arashi's hand, no da!!"
Kitty: *poofs Chichiri into nice clothes*
And so, Chichiri went off to offer his services to Suzaku in the mysterious shoe case. Unfortunately, Chichiri forgot to hide the leaves he broke off, and when he went to ask Suzaku to give it a try with the sorceresses present, they fell to the floor....right at the feet of Arashi!
Arashi: *raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything*
Luckily, except for one other lady mage, the mistake went unnoticed. But, the Mage of Fire noticed....and she wan't about to let her secret be exposed!!!
Later, in their room, as they waited for Chichiri to enter, she confronted Arashi in private.
Lina: "What the hell do you think you're doing!?? Letting that baka go unpunished!! He OBVIOUSLY followed us at least one time, and he KNOWS our secret!!!!"
Arashi: "I know...."
Lina: "You better DO something about this!!!!"
Arashi: "I will..."
Arashi planned to have him zombie-ized, just like the rest of the men, but something stopped her.... She realized that, for all the times she had seen him when he was fishing, she had somehow fallen in love. She debated all day long, and could not come to a decision: her love or her sisterhood.
When night fell, Chichiri was admitted to their room. He expected to be given the 200 proof sake, like the others, but it never happened.
Instead, Arashi opened the secret passageway and led Chichiri and the others down to the secret castle. When they reached the stream, Chichiri rowed the silent and drawn Arashi across the shining water to the castle.
Chichiri watched as the other sorceresses danced the night away, but the pale Arashi did not seem in a dancing mood.
The Mage of Air, who was always floating the men down to their fates, was dancing with a laughing man with what appeared to be yo-yos, and the Fire Mage was waltzing with a scarred bandit. The gentle Water sorceress was dancing with the bishonen guy who rowed her across the stream with such ease. The Ice mage was with a tall man with an eye-patch, and the Illusionist was with a man wearing make-up. (There is no accounting for taste). And the prophetess and the shadow mage were with the men they had drugged the previous nights.
Finally, before dawn came, Arashi deigned to dance once with Chichiri, but insisted he must have a toast with her afterward.
Chichiri: So this is it, no da...She plans to drug me like the others anyway, no da. *sighs* But, it's worth it, since I will be with her forever, no da....
When the time came for the toast, he accepted the glass from Arashi. He raised the glass to his lips, took a final look at his beloved Arashi, and began to tilt the glass...
Arashi: *in tears* "WAIT!!! Don't drink...I couldn't stand it if you were forced to be like this forever...."
Chichiri: "What's wrong, no da? Isn't this what you wanted, no da?"
Arashi: "No, you baka!! I....love you!!!"
Chichiri dropped the glass and embraced the weeping Arashi, and as the drugged container shattered, so did the enchantment on the other men there.
Tasuki: "What the HELL happened?!?!?!?!"
Hotohori: *blinks*
Each got down on his knees before his sorceress and proposed, and the merry band returned to the palace.
When Suzaku held his divine court the next morning, he beheld an astonishing sight....and for it to astonish a god, that must be something REALLY BIG!!! There before him were all his sorceresses, and the young men who were thought missing.
And they were all promising no more requests for multitudes of shoes, and instead asked for a multitude of weddings.
Suzaku: *blinks*
And so, the twelve previously-dancing sorceresses, and their previously-drugged fiancees, all got married, and everyone, especially Arashi and Chichiri, lived happily ever after.