Nusaka's log

I recall the last time I ever picked up a writing tool was back in my mystic years..I must have been 17 or 18--I can't really point out an exact date, but it does bring a sense of nostalgia to my mind. But this time, I am writing as a human, those creatures I spent years studying over only to become one. I don't particularly care to write about that now though--I just end up washing myself in shame and pity.

I'd awakened from my long slumber to learn of a wedding that is to go on later in the evening. A Wedding? Yes...come to think of it, I learned of it while studying humans in my mystic youth. To my knowledge, a wedding is supposed to be a festivity where humans make such a fuss over declaring their love for each other. I remember seeing in a scholar's book some pictures of this "wedding" deal--lots of flowers, food, decorations and of course, people. The young woman to be married, whom I know is called "the bride", has to wear a large white frilly dress, made of silk. I must add it is quite a lovely piece of clothing to wear--but still a bit too fussy just to tell the man she loves "I love you". I also noted that the "bride" is surrounded with several giggling, squealing excited cries from girls, all wearing the same dresses. They squeal in delight as they fuss with the "bride's" hair, her dress and something called "make-up". "Ridiculous...", I thought back then when I first learned about it. But as a human, I saw the smiles, the laughter and the joy, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of envy for the bride. Her loved ones have created a cheerful atmosphere--most importantly, they are all having a wonderful time, something I have not had in a long time since my assigned mission as Dusty's "guardian". Lady Nytefyere's wedding was no different.

Dusty was kind enough to ask me to join the celebration. My first impulse was to decline--I did not feel comfortable being around "humans", regardless of who I am now. I asked if Gaia would be there...but she would not. I felt somewhat disappointed as Gaia was the only female friend I had...I knew that if she was there, I would feel somewhat comfortable.

I told Dusty I would consider it, but I only said that so that I may be left alone in my room to think. He left, much to my surprise (he is sometimes slow when I hint at him) and I was left to gather my thoughts. The frivolous part of me grew excited inside...a wedding! How I dreamed of experiencing what a wedding would be like! I can recall after seeing the pictures of a wedding, I dreamed about wearing a lovely dress like the "bride's" and silently wondered if I would look just as beautiful someday....

I was able to keep my excitement down long enough to decide that I would attend the wedding simply for Dusty's sake. He has done much for me, taken me in when I had no where to go, yet I have returned him little. Sure, I thought to myself, that was good enough reason to go...but inside, I couldn't admit that I was damn excited and really wanted to see the celebration with my own eyes. Then, if I someday returned to my mystic status, I could brag about it to everyone in the healing academy. Boy, I'll bed they'd be green with envy! Such a selfish thought, I know, but I can't help myself.

I arrived at the place where the celebration would occur, only to find that I was the last one to arrive...it figures. Nusa the foul-up human can't even show up to a wedding on time! But no one seemed to mind...in fact, no one seemed to notice me or care! The room was filled with so many unfamiliar faces that almost made me dizzy. But no one turned to look at me enter the church--so I took the last pew in the back. My heart began to thump so loud that I began to think it would be heard by all. It wasn't, but I could feel the heavy pounding inside my chest. I took a deep breath and looked around the church one more time, to scan for any familiar faces.

Ahh yes...I saw Dusty of course. He was standing by the alter along with his "best man" ______ (I still don't figure what a best man does) and Lady Nytefyre's sister, the clergy woman. Dusty was dressed in a t-u-x-e-d-o I believe, and he stood tall and firm. I do not know if I'm the only one who noticed this, but it would have appeared that he was standing firm to try and control his nervous body. He wore a tight grin to try and fool the people into thinking he's fine--but inside, I can see he's a nervous wreck! A tiny smirk creeps on my lips (even now as I write this)--I can't help thinking how foolish he looked trying to collect himself. It's as if he was awaiting a death sentence or something! Calm down Dusty, I thought to myself as I placed a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing, you're just going to claim Lady Nytefyre as your wife! Of course people were watching you and I do hope you fumble over yourself so we can all have a good laugh...

Now I've been told (especially by Theron) that I'm terrible for picking on Dusty like that. I don't pick on him; I merely try to set him straight. See, many of his friends don't know that I consider myself somewhat of a rival to Dusty. Why that is? Simply because I am no longer a powerful god-like mystic who could beat down Dusty in a minute, but rather a weak human girl who is easily beaten. I challenged Dusty some time ago in hopes that I could perhaps use my will to see me through the battle...but I was very badly wounded and almost perished after that--so I've learned not to test him. Since then, I've become jealous of his battle skills and popularity. HE gets to be the hero all the time naturally and although he doesn't boast about it, I know that deep down inside, he's got that smug look of victory when he sees my pathetic battle skills in action. It downright burns me up! I vow to make myself just as strong as he and show everyone that I can do it, mystic or not!

Normally Theron would have been upset and told me to let it go. There would be others stronger than me, such as Tanya. I have not known Tanya very well but she is almost as powerful as a mystic. In fact, she is of the goddess race. But then again, Theron is always trying to play motherly love with me, telling me what to do. He must think of me quite silly though, because every time I ask a question about the human world, he laughs. The "balls" incident was a classic example. Theron is so mean! Yet he is there at the wedding, calm and collected and quite joyed by the fact that his two friends could finally marry. I don't know if he saw me in the church at all, but I will bet that if he did, he would have hissed some commanding remarks at me how to behave or to not pick on Dusty. Right, Theron. Assume the worst in little Nusa. Even though this little doc helped you regain your memory. However, I'm glad I was able to slip into the church without being noticed by him.

I sat in my seat at the back awaiting the start of the ceremony. Much to my dismay, however, everyone kept goofing around with each other, running about in a disorganized fashion. Tanya the goddess brought in a video camera and began to tape the the running abouts, the happy people. Theron joked about putting the video up for "funniest home video ever." I smiled at the excited crowd being video taped, thankful that I was not included in the little event. Somehow, though, I began to feel a bit lonely...I too, wanted to have some fun. I, too, wanted friends. Dusty was my only friend then (I didn't know Lady Nytefyre yet) and even he didn't talk to me much. Gaia was nowhere to be seen and Theron usually had some scolding for me.

After much wasted time of running about, everyone began to take thier place. I looked behind my shoulder and noticed Lady Nytefyre standing out behind the doors, with a tight grin on her face. Nervous wreck, no doubt, just like Dust bowl. Her features, despite the nervousness, were full of life; her cheeks glowing in the light. She was as happy as could be. I smiled to myself at how beautiful she looked in the dress--tis no wonder she caught the eye of a nice young man! (I never show anyone that Dusty's is actually a cool friend in my eyes). Slowly, the music started and Lady Nytefyre walked in slowly down the aisle, to join her beloved. I will always feel a sense of warmth whenever I recall that moment she walked by. The expression on her face is worth more than any human treasure and I'm sure Dusty would agree.

The tiny horns on my head (which were implamented by the Queen of Ice when I healed her kingdom) began to sense distress. I placed my hands on them and wondered what was wrong. I tried to brush it off and enjoy the rest of the wedding...but I couldn't. The cries of help were coming strong; I couldn't ignore it. However, I didn't know what to do...this was an important day for my friend! But then again, he would not mind Doc missing in the action. Even then, I can't ignore the warnings in my head that my services were in dire need somewhere--human or not.

I quietly stood and made my way out of the church as the clergywoman began "dearly beloved, we are gathered...". Someone out there needs me. I am not needed here. Still, I wish I could have stayed and perhaps had some fun and even make friends....I suppose I will have to wait just a while longer before I see a true wedding occur.

As I left, I silently apologized for my absence.

Dusty, Lady Nytefyre, forgive me. I promise to return your kindness in some way.