Neon Genesis Evangelion
Lost Love

Written by Alain Gravel 

http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Teahouse/2236/

Story based on characters created by and copyright GAINAX.
April 23rd 1999


* End of Evangelion spoilers warning!!! *

========================================================================

LOST LOVE 


    Well, I'm back. I never thought I'd come to see you again. Yet, 
after all those years, here am I.
    Talking to you is as painful as I thought it would be. I had hoped I 
would have gotten over this with the years. Just some wishful thinking. 
You always had that damn annoying tendency to get under our skin. Even 
Wondergirl's.
    Dammit! Look at what you're doing you jerk! Tears... Yes I'm crying! 
Because of you moron! Who would I cry for?
    Baka! Why did you have to do that? Why didn't you just leave me to 
die, instead of saving me? Why did you leave me alone? Don't you get it? 
I just can't live alone! I tried! God knows I tried! But I just can't. 
Do you know how much I suffered after you left me, all alone with my 
rotten soul? What was I to do? Everything dear to me had been taken 
away. My Unit-02. My Mama. My beauty. Even you. Yes you! You never got 
it, did you? Behind all the pain, behind the teasing, I loved you. I 
really did. I just couldn't show it. And you never gave me the chance to 
do so.
    Don't even think about giving me your usual "I'm sorry" crap. You 
can't run from this one.
    Why did you have to do that? Why did a spineless jerk like you 
suddenly decided to become a hero? A hero... you... How ironic. Still, I 
would have liked to see it. Sometimes I dream about it. I see in my 
dreams your mighty purple Unit-01, destroying one by one those goddamn 
EVA series I tried to defeat myself. Then I see the last one of them 
striking its lance right through your Unit-01's chest. And I wake up in 
tears.
    Maya said you continued to fight for an entire 20 seconds even after 
your heart stopped beating. Baka! Maybe you would have survived if you 
had accepted defeat...
    Why? Why? Was it because you loved me?
    "Mama? Why are you crying?"
    Yes. This is my son I'm hugging. All my hopes and dreams. My pride 
and joy. My savior. I'd probably be dead without him. If you hadn't been 
such an idiot, who knows... He could have been your son as well, instead 
of some anonymous guy who paid me a few thousand yen for some 
meaningless sex. It was the only way a useless one-eyed alcoholic like 
me could get the money for her next bottle of sake.
    "Mama?"
    "It's okay Shin-chan. Just hug Mama a big tighter."
    You heard right. It was only fitting that I should give him your 
name. Ikari Shinji. Yes. That's right. It was a lot of trouble, but I 
managed to have my name changed. I had to. I had to make sure that the 
old Asuka Sohryu Langley was dead. I couldn't let that bitch raise my 
son.
    "This is where you can talk to your father, Honey. Here, he can hear 
you from his home in Heaven."
    "Really?"
    "Yes."
    He's so cute. Sometimes, I'm amazed at how he can actually look like 
you. But maybe it's just my imagination.
    "Ohayo, Otousan..."
    I hope you don't mind. But I thought it would be appropriate for him 
to have an honorable father.
    Look at me. The tears just won't stop. Will they ever?
    This is likely the last time I'll visit your grave. It just hurts 
too much.
    Sayonara Shinji. Until we meet again.

========================================================================

    Oh my! I'm not sure where that came from. It's really quite 
different from 'The One I Love Is...' Maybe I just read too much dark 
fics lately and needed to have my own.


Alain Gravel
April 23rd 1999

    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/teahouse/Teahouse/2236/myfics

               ( geocities.com/tokyo/teahouse/Teahouse/2236)                   ( geocities.com/tokyo/teahouse/Teahouse)                   ( geocities.com/tokyo/teahouse)                   ( geocities.com/tokyo)