Date: Wed, 12 Apr 1995 23:44:16 GMT
This is my first attempt at a fanfic so go easy on me
All characters copyright 1995 Rumiko Takahashi
Ryoga : The Shampoo Variation part 1 by Mark Latus
It was indeed a beautiful day Ryoga thought, marred only by the fact that
he had no idea where he was right now. Obviously a forest of some sort but
beyond that ...
"Yes, you're still in Japan"
The speaker was an ancient looking monk about five feet to Ryoga's left.
Strange he hadn't noticed him before.
"Maybe I wasn't here before", the monk continued, "in fact my appearance
is a conventionalization for your sake. We've found that appearing as
apparitions is counterproductive. People panic, ask for miracles ...."
"Huh?"
Why do I always get the morons the monk wondered? Try again, "Greetings
my son, I am a wise sage here to advise you on matters that will shortly
concern you".
Ryoga frowned, "No offence but we've never met before so you know nothing
about me, which means any advice you can give me is going to be really
generic."
"Your name is Ryoga Hibiki, thanks to the curse of Jusenkyo you keep
changing into a small black pig named P-chan, you are in love with Akane Tendo,
and blame every problem in your life on Ranma Saotome. Is that specific enough
for you?"
"Impossible, how could you know all that?"
"I'm a very wise, wise sage". Of course being 4th dimensional gives me
a certain perspective your kind lacks.
The monk selected a bottle from his pack and poured the silvery liquid
within on the ground before him.
"You think Akane is the only girl you could ever love, and that she is
the only one who might ever love you. Well you're wrong, there are infinite
worlds and infinite variations. Take a look in the pool. Don't worry
it isn't water so you won't change if you touch it."
"Infinite worlds?", Ryoga was finding this a difficult concept to grasp.
He looked in the pool before the old man, an image was forming, a place he
knew well.
"The Tendo household? How is this possible."
"This is an image from the past, but not your past. This is another world
where things went a bit differently." The monk paused, "the time is shortly
after Shampoo arrived in Japan hunting the female Ranma. Now look closely".
Ryoga felt compelled towards the image in the pool. The image was growing
and he was rushing down towards the house. Closer still and he was zooming
towards the image of himself, carrying a bucket intending to show Shampoo that
Ranma was the woman Shampoo was hunting.
Ryoga dodged back as Shampoo's mace thrust between him and Ranma, the
bucket of water went flying. Shampoo turned on Akane.
"Where female Ranma? You hide her from Shampoo."
Akane felt fed up, ever since Ranma arrived it was one weird thing after
another, "I don't know what you're talking about".
Shampoo decided to turn up the visciousness. "You hide Ranma you die!"
She went for Akane with her mace and Ryoga snapped into action, just before
Ranma could move. Ryoga's bandana sliced the head off the mace as Shampoo
raised it over her head. It bounced off Shampoo's head and came to rest on the
floor. A second later Shampoo hit the floor.
Ranma glared at Ryoga, "You moron".
"I was helping Akane, something her fiance should have been first to do"
Ranma suppressed a snarl, "In case you forgot my story she has to kill
any outsider who defeats her. You just made yourself her next target. Better
start running, she's just coming around".
Ryoga felt himself begin to panic. She'd chased Ranma across China to
kill her, that is him. He'd have to spend the rest of his life as P-chan to
be safe.
Shampoo groaned, sat up and looked at Ryoga. Ryoga began to panic.
"It was an accident, I was trying to disarm you not defeat you, there's
a big difference"
Ranma chuckled, "Forget it Ryoga, take your kiss of death and start
running. France is supposed to be nice this time of year."
Shampoo lunged forward, grabbed Ryoga and kissed him passionately. It was
remarkable how much his nose bled.
Kasumi frowned, "My I had no idea a kiss of death was that lethal".
Ranma gaped, Shampoo hadn't kissed him like that, in fact no one ever had.
The kiss ended and Shampoo stepped back. Ryoga cleared his throat.
"The kiss of death is quite something", then the effects of severe blood
loss caught up with him and he fainted.
Shampoo caught him before he hit the ground.
"Darling"
The darkness seemed eternal but after a time Ryoga began drifting back to
consciousness. Half awake he dreamed of floating towards the girl who waited
for him.
Except something was very wrong. It wasn't Akane and she had sword! She
charged him screaming something and he snapped awake.
He gasped and looked around, he was still in the Tendo's living room with
a blanket thrown over him.
"Oh Ryoga you're awake. You should drink something, you need fluids."
Kasumi handed him a cup of tea which he gratefully gulped down.
"What happened? I remember there was this girl ... "
"Shampoo. She kissed you and you blacked out", Nabiki put down the
stockmarket report and continued, "We called Dr. Tofu. You lost a lot of blood
with that nosebleed, a new world record. He wanted to give you a transfusion".
Ryoga caught a glimpse of the garden. Dr Tofu appeared to be dancing with
a skeleton while babbling nonsense.
"Uh, actually I'd prefer that he didn't try to stick any needles in me
right now."
Nabiki nodded, "Good choice, you're not as stupid as Ranma says".
"Dr. Tofu certainly is eccentric isn't he?", Kasumi leaned over to check
his pulse. "But while I could still understand him he said you'd do fine with
plenty of rest and fluids".
Ryoga suddenly recalled his situation, "I can't rest. Shampoo is going to
try and kill me!"
Nabiki snorted, "that's right, you were still unconscious during the big
revalation. Killing you is the last thing she wants to do".
"What are you talking about?"
"It seems Ranma was only half right about amazon tribal law. Big
surprise".
"Meaning?"
"If an amazon loses to an outsider woman she has to kill her. However if
the outsider's a man she has to marry him".
"What?", Ryoga couldn't believe she'd said that.
"If the outsider's a man ..."
"I heard you, but you're joking right?"
"Read for yourself".
Nabiki handed him a book marked 'Amazon Tribal Law'. Section 3, paragraph
4 was very clear.
Ryoga felt a panic attack beginning, "Where is she?"
Nabiki shrugged
"Akane and Ranma are showing her around the house so she'll see there's no
trace of Ranma-chan". Kasumi returned to tidying up.
In the garden Dr Tofu and Betty jumped over the wall heading away. Other
voices were becoming audible.
"Her panda here. She around somewhere".
Akane was fed up, "You've looked everywhere, will you give it a rest".
Ranma decided to butt in, " Hey Shampoo, Ryoga's awake".
The next thing Ryoga knew Shampoo was hanging all over him murmuring
"Nihao". It was getting hard to think, hard to focus on anything but how cute
she was. He struggled to speak.
"Umm Shampoo, what if I already have a girlfriend?"
Shampoo's cute look was instantly overridden by her crazed berserker look.
"Any girl get in way of our love, Shampoo eviscerate!"
Rationality returned, "Uh purely hypothetical question, I don't have a
girlfriend"
Shampoo snapped back to cute mode, he had seconds before his brain melted
down. "Isn't that the female Ranma heading over the wall?"
Shampoo pulled a concealed sword from somewhere and jumped the garden wall
screaming, "KILL!".
Ranma chuckled, "Well that's bought you a few minutes but she'll be back".
Ryoga felt his anger building, "You shut up, this whole thing's your
fault. She wouldn't even be in Japan except for you".
"Hey no one told you to fight her. Is it my fault her tribe's got stupid
laws?"
"It's never your fault is it? Like skipping our duel wasn't your fault".
"We've been over that, you're the one with no sense of direction".
Lightheadedness had reduced Ryoga's caution, "Who's fault is it that my
life was ruined? Who caused the biggest problem I've got?"
"It was an accident you jerk".
Akane could tell a fight was about to start, "Ranma stop picking on poor
Ryoga. What are you two talking about anyway?"
Ryoga managed to calm down slightly, "Nothing important".
"Yeah it's a guy thing, even a chick as macho as you wouldn't get it"
Akane bounced the table off Ranma's head and stalked off. Ryoga picked up
the tribal law book and began leafing through it. Maybe there was a loophole
he could use.
Sitting on the Tendo's roof Ryoga put down the lawbook. There was no way
out unless Shampoo decided to stop chasing him. She'd be in trouble then but
he'd be off the hook.
Someone landed behind him, Ranma.
"What do you want?"
"Hey, I'm the only one of us who has a right to be here. Unless you want
to change to P-chan.
"Don't push me, I'm in a rotten mood".
"Ok I'll give you a break this time. No way out huh?"
"Right. This is really bad. You may not like Akane but I do. Akane has
no idea how I feel about her. But if I tell her Shampoo may try to kill her."
"Well I've got the perfect solution".
"Really?"
"Yup, marry Shampoo and move to China. That way she's out of my hair and
no threat to Akane".
Ryoga sighed, he should have known better than to ask his greatest rival's
advice.
"I barely know her. She's cute I admit but she's also homicidal. Why
don't you marry her?"
"Cause she doesn't want me Ryoga, you're her one and only. Besides she'd
kill me first time I got wet. I suggest you don't complain about this
situation. How many women would be willing to marry a guy with a curse like
yours?"
That was the solution, Shampoo didn't know about the curse yet.
"Ranma you're a genius. All I have to do is get some hot and cold water
and demonstrate the curse somewhere Akane can't see us. It's perfect, what
could possibly go wrong?"
A little while later Ryoga had a kettle of hot water and a bucket of cold
water. This corner of the garden was out of sight of the main house. All he
needed now was Shampoo. But if he went looking for her how would he find this
place again. He felt something land behind him and accelerate forward. He
spun around.
"Nihao".
"Shampoo, I was looking for you".
"Ryoga want to marry Shampoo, I so happy".
"Uh, yeah. But first you have to know my terrible secret". He'd better
lay this on thick. "Have you heard of the dreaded Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo?"
"Yes, Shampoo know many legends about cursed springs".
"Well they aren't just legends, the curse is real. Because of the fool
who knocked me in one of them I bear a terrible curse".
"It was an accident you jerk. Hey!". Ranma ducked as a bandana slashed
through the space his head had occupied.
"Go away you're ruining the mood!"
Ranma withdrew quickly.
"Now where was I?"
"Ryoga bear terrible curse".
"Right. Well because of it I am only half human. You'll find this
shocking, I won't blame you if you don't want to marry me anymore".
Ryoga splashed himself with the bucket. The change hit and his body
diminished. He looked up at Shampoo and squealed.
She blinked several times, then picked up the kettle and poured hot water
on P-chan. Ryoga reverted to human and scrambled into his clothes trying
(unsuccessfully) not to blush.
"Curse is easily dealt with yes? And pig shape is cute".
"You ... you aren't repelled?"
"Shampoo can deal with it. Will give up pork products and make rest of
village do same. So husband not accidently consumed".
"Umm, yeah ... well I ..", she'd turned on the cute look again, "...we, uh
.. you're beautiful but ... uh".
He tried to think of what he'd been going to say. It was hard to think,
hard to concentrate on anything but Shampoo.
Shampoo tossed the bucket away.
"We avoid cold water, we have no problem".
There was a squawk and a wet eavesdropping Ranma looked round the corner.
"Watch where you're throwing things lady".
Shampoo stared at her then shouted, "FEMALE RANMA, KILL!"
"Oh no, I forgot!", Ranma dashed off pursued by Shampoo.
Ryoga sat down and tried to think.
"So are you going to marry her? What, who's there? Your common sense,
sorry I haven't been around much, guess I got lost. Why should I marry Shampoo
. Easy, she can deal with your curse, she's good looking, she wants you ; how
are you going to do any better? She's homicidal, she came here just to kill
Ranma. Oh? so why did you come to town? That's different, it was a matter of
honor. What do you think it is to Shampoo, you moron? In fact she has a law
requiring this. You didn't, you just had a desire for vengeance. Yeah, but
... but I don't love her, I love Akane. Who has no idea you love her. Even if
she did how do you think she'll react to finding out the truth about P-chan? If
you'd told her right away maybe it could have worked. But after all this time
sleeping in her bed ... Shut up, I don't have to listen to this! Yes you do,
you're talking to yourself, remember? Well it's time to make some changes.
Time to confront Akane. Tell her the truth about me and how I feel".
Ryoga picked up the kettle and headed indoors. Akane met him inside.
"Ryoga I heard Shampoo screaming again".
"Ranma screwed up and changed. So she went hunting him, or her,
whichever".
"That jerk, he should be more careful around cold water".
Ryoga nodded, "Kasumi, Ranma's going to need some hot water. Could you
please refill this kettle?"
Kasumi nodded and headed for the kitchen. Ryoga looked around the room.
Nabiki was present but didn't seem to be paying him any attention.
"Akane about this whole Shampoo situation ..."
"I don't think she'll take no for an answer", Akane interupted, "What are
you going to do? Do you have a girlfriend?"
The moment of truth, "Akane ... "
Meanwhile Kasumi had just refilled the kettle when Ranma-chan dived
through the window. Hot water, salvation. She grabbed the kettle, dodging
a thrown knife, and headed out of the kitchen as Shampoo entered.
She didn't her Kasumi shout, "Ranma wait, that's still cold".
She dashed into the living room, hearing a crash as Shampoo came through
the wall. She dodged the mace Shampoo swung but lost her grip on the kettle.
Which flew across the room and drenched Ryoga. He tried to scream but it came
out as a squeal. There was no chance of explaining this away.
Ranma took advantage of the distraction to duck into the bathroom. A
stroke of luck, the waterheater was still on. A quick spray of hot water and
everything was fine.
Until he remembered that Ryoga had just transformed in front of the three
Tendo sisters. He filled a bucket and headed back. There was no telling what
was happening now Akane knew where P-chan went when he disappeared.
On re-entering the living room Ranma was glad to see the bloodshed hadn't
begun yet. Shampoo was cuddling P-chan, both of them were being closely
watched by Nabiki and Kasumi. Akane was still frozen in the spot where she'd
witnessed the transformation. It was amazing that anyone's eyes could bug-out
that much.
"Uh Shampoo, I brought some hot water"
"Ah is good, husband is cute like this but prefer him as human. Almost
forgot, where is female Ranma?"
"She left in a hurry".
"Shampoo kill her later then", she poured hot water on the frantic piglet.
Kasumi blushed and turned away, "Ryoga put some clothes on please".
Ryoga pulled them on without any sign of embarrassment. All his attention
was focused on Akane. She was still frozen in place but beginning to twitch.
He'd been trying to think of something, anything to say but his mind was still
blank.
Nabiki broke the silence, "Well Ryoga, I always thought you were
incredibly shy about girls but all this time you've been sleeping in Akane's
bed.
Akane began to shake, the explosion was near. Ryoga knew he had to say
something fast.
"Akane I ... , I never intended ... this is all Ranma's fault ... that is,
I wasn't trying take advantage ... I never meant to upset you ... uh it's just
that you were the first to like me in my cursed form ... I couldn't talk to
you as a man ... well I could but not about how I feel about you ... I realize
you're angry but .... I wanted to tell you from the start it's just ...uh, ...
I..."
The slap nearly broke his jaw, he hit the ground hard, still staring at
her.
"YOU BASTARD!", he'd never seen Akane this angry before, "to think I
actually liked you, thought you were a friend ... all this time ... you're a
bigger pervert than Ranma has ever been!"
Shampoo looked confused as she tried to follow this exchange. Akane
snarled, "I never want to see you again!" and stalked off.
Shampoo frowned and spat, "Girl not slap Shampoo's husband". She launched
herself at Akane's back. No one followed what happened next. It looked almost
as if Akane slammed Shampoo through the wall without breaking stride or turning
around.
Ryoga was still lying on the floor. The pain in his jaw was nothing
compared to the way he felt inside. He wanted to scream, smash something,
explain himself to Akane, but he couldn't bring himself to move.
Ranma leaned over and patted him on the shoulder, "Hey cheer up, better to
have loved and lost than never loved at all, right?"
"Take your hand off me!", Ryoga had never sounded that dangerous before.
Ranma backed away involuntarily.
Ryoga stood up and walked over to the rubble pile that was part of the
outer wall not long ago. Shampoo was sprawled over it, groaning. She seemed
dazed but not seriously injured.
Kasumi cleared her throat, "Ryoga, Akane's very upset. It would probably
be best if you left for the time being".
Ryoga didn't reply. He picked up Shampoo and walked out through the hole
in the wall.
Ranma tried to think of something flippant to say but failed, "Guess I'll
go talk to Akane".
Ryoga stopped walking and looked around. He was standing in the vacant
lot where he camped. Funny he could only find it when he wasn't searching for
it. When he left the Tendo's he'd had no destination in mind, he just had to
get away. He put Shampoo down on the sleeping bag and tried to think on what
to do now.
It occurred to him he wasn't completely empty inside. One thing remained
burning in his heart, pure hatred. Hate directed squarely at the author of all
his misfortunes, Ranma Saotome.
Shampoo groaned and sat up. Ryoga dug a first aid kit out of his
backpack. "You'd better take it easy for now. You hit that wall pretty hard,
where does it hurt?"
Shampoo winced, "All over, Shampoo think resting fine idea". She lay
back, "Girl was tougher than Shampoo thought."
Ryoga sighed, "Yeah, when she gets really mad she's unstoppable".
Shampoo glared at him accusingly, "You like Akane!"
"I did, still do ..., but she'll never forgive me. She'll hate me forever
and ignore me the rest of my life".
"Not a rival then? That good, not proper combat so Shampoo not have to
fight her again".
So Akane was out of danger from Shampoo. Good, Ryoga had something else
to concern him. He almost smiled, Ranma had no idea how close he was to dying.
Saotome would learn soon enough.
"Shampoo you still want to kill the female Ranma and marry me?"
"Of course, is matter of honor. Why? You change mind about marriage?"
"No, but I intend to kill the male Ranma, that's a matter of honor to me.
If you help me we can both get what we want. There's something you need to
know about Ranma. Something that we can use to our advantage in a fight now
that I feel no need to keep his secret."
Shampoo smiled and kissed him. This time he didn't react adversely, "It
wait until morning yes?"
Ryoga nodded, "Until morning". Inside a little voice whispered, "See you
can overcome your shyness in romantic situations, and all it took was the total
destruction of all your hopes and dreams". He ignored it and turned his
attention to Shampoo.
Breakfast at the Tendo house was rather strained. Akane was refusing to
talk to anyone, she'd slammed her door in Ranma's face last night. He was
wondering what to say if she asked if he'd already known Ryoga's little secret.
If she put together all the hints he'd dropped about P-chan ... He shuddered
and turned back to eating.
The main gate slammed open and Ryoga and Shampoo marched in. Ryoga
pointed at Ranma and shouted, "RANMA SAOTOME, I CHALLENGE YOU!"
Ranma sighed, "Your timing stinks. Anyway why should I fight you?"
"If you win I'll leave here forever. If you refuse my challenge I will
attack you every chance I get for the rest of my life. The choice is yours."
"Two against one this early in the morning?"
"Shampoo has no quarrel with you", Ryoga replied.
Shampoo nodded, "Shampoo swear on amazon honor not to fight male Ranma".
Ranma looked at Ryoga, "Alright anything to get rid of you permanently.
Let's go!" Akane watched as Ranma and Ryoga advanced towards each other. She felt
torn between storming off to ignore Ryoga and trying to cave his head in with
her mallet. Shampoo was hanging back, observing the fighters closely.
Ranma poised waiting for Ryoga to attack, "This really isn't necessary
you know".
Ryoga smiled faintly, "You gave me a curse that ruined my life and
humiliate me every chance you get. I think it's very necessary".
"Why anyone would care what a tomboy like Akane thinks about them ..."
"No more words!", Ryoga launched himself at Ranma and the duel began.
Ranma found himself in a harder fight than he had expected. He had the
edge in skill and speed but Ryoga was far stronger and didn't seem to be
feeling pain.
"He doesn't care how injured he gets as long as he hurts me", Ranma
thought. "If we both wind up dead he'll think that's a victory. I've got to
end this quickly".
Ryoga leaped back then launched himself at Ranma. A midair collision
would drop him in the ornamental pond. Perfect.
They impacted and Ranma grappled Ryoga making sure they'd both hit the
water. Ryoga made no attempt to break free preferring to pound on Ranma at
close quarters.
A splash and Ranma was looking down at a strangely calm piglet.
"So much for the fight, Ryoga even for you that was stupidahhh!!!".
Ranma's taunt became a howl of pain as Shampoo's mace slammed into her left
shoulder.
Ranma jumped out of the pond fast before Shampoo could strike again. She
snarled, "What about your amazon honor?...". She broke off as she realized
Shampoo was following her honor. She had sworn not to fight Ranma's male self
but she was also sworn to kill his female self.
"Ryoga actually used strategy. He wanted us both to go into the pond.
I blew his secret so he told Shampoo mine. She's been waiting for me to
transform since the fight began". This passed through Ranma's mind in the
instants before Shampoo attacked. Blocking her was difficult. His (that is
her) left arm wasn't working right. Something moved in behind him. Just
P-chan, watching but not interfering.
Shampoo suddenly danced back and tossed a flask at Ranma's feet. It
burst and sprayed something, maybe acid, around the garden. Ranma avoided most
of it but caught some of the spray. No apparent damage, unless it was some
sort of poison that needed time to work. Shampoo switched to a defensive
stance and waited. Ranma was torn between attacking and waiting for Shampoo to
come to him.
Then Ryoga tried to punch a hole through his kidneys. Ranma doubled over,
through the pain he realized the flask had just been hot water. It had
sprayed and transformed both him and P-chan.
Ranma tried to distract to opponent, "Hey Ryoga, the girls are watching.
Better put on some pants quick".
Ryoga showed no sign of concern over his nudity. He concentrated solely
on battering Ranma. The pain and injuries were slowing Ranma down. He tried
a headkick but it didn't connect. Ryoga grabbed his ankle and squeezed. Bones
ground together and Ranma screamed. Ryoga used his grip to fling Ranma back
into the pond. Then, as Shampoo resumed her assault on Ranma-chan, he leapt
over to where he'd dropped his backpack. Pulling out a dry outfit he got
dressed while watching the fight.
Meanwhile on the porch Soun turned to Genma, "Saotome your son appears to
be having trouble. Shouldn't we intervene?"
"Nonsense, I trained my son to handle anything. He will defeat these two
momentarily, just as I would."
"Oh, well in that case how about a game of Go?"
"Fine, let's set up the board".
They departed. Since Kasumi, with her customary obliviousness, had left
to tidy up the kitchen only Nabiki and Akane remained.
Nabiki commented to her sister, "Lucky I didn't have time to set up bets
on this fight. Our champion isn't doing very well".
"That", Akane thought, "is an understatement. She's got all her weight on
the one good ankle, her left arm is useless and she's taken a real beating.
Maybe we've got too used to Ranma always winning. This is looking very serious
indeed".
Ranma failed to dodge as Shampoo hit her with another thermos flask. She
spun, ignoring the pain in her ankle, to confront Ryoga. Who just stood there
watching her. Shampoo slammed into her from behind. She was still female, the
water was cold, it was hard to tell temperature through the pain. Slower than
she could ever remember Ranma tried to block Shampoo's attack as best she could
. Which wasn't very well.
Shampoo hit her with a third flask, this one was hot water. Instantly
Ryoga was pounding on him. Ranma tried to defend himself but his body didn't
seem to be working properly. Everything felt distant, almost as if he was
watching someone else lose a fight. He saw a fist coming straight at him and
then the world went red. Just before everything faded to black.
Ranma slammed across the garden and into the surrounding wall. He slumped
to the ground revealing a sizeable impact crater. Ranma lay very still.
Ryoga approached cautiously fearing a trick. There was no trick, Ranma
was unconscious.
Ryoga smiled, "It's almost over".
Shampoo walked over to join him. Inside his mind a small voice whispered,
"There are laws against killing in cold blood. They call it murder and it
doesn't endear you to people". He ignored it except to note that he now had
another good reason to leave Japan for China.
There was just one thing more to say, "Time to die like a warrior, Ranma!"
He swept his hand back for the killing blow.
With a speed she hadn't thought she was capable of Akane dashed between
Ryoga and the unconscious Ranma. Ryoga froze momentarily then relaxed from
his attack stance.
"Get out of my way Akane".
"No! You won, the fight's over. Now get off our property".
"It isn't over yet. This is a fight to the finish. Ranma's not finished
yet".
"I'm not just going to stand by and let you kill him. The only way you
get to Ranma is through me!"
Behind her Ranma drifted into a half awake state. He could hear voices
but nothing they said seemed to matter. Not that he could have moved anyway.
Ryoga noticed Ranma twitch. Time to end this. "Move before you get hurt,
Akane." Puzzled by the delay Shampoo moved to Ryoga's side.
Akane stood firm, "No way".
Shampoo frowned, "Girl is interfering in duel. Would husband like Shampoo
to remove her?" She lifted her mace to striking position.
Ryoga coughed nervously, "Uh, wait a minute, let's see if Akane will
listen to reason. For old time's sake".
Akane snarled. Ryoga paused briefly then continued, "Akane, you're not a
good enough fighter to stop me or Shampoo getting past you. Either of us can
defeat you easily. You'll just get hurt and you won't save Ranma. I don't
want to hurt you ... not any more than I already have. I didn't mean to hurt
you at all, it was just that circumstances .... If you were anyone else I'd
have smashed my way past by now ..."
He was babbling, it was time to conclude the fight. Looking closely he
realized Akane was both resolute and scared. "She already knows she can't stop
us", he thought, "she knows she'll get hurt needlessly. But she still isn't
going to budge until we make her".
"Akane you hate Ranma. Why are you so determined to protect him? I'm
about to get him out of your life forever".
Akane blushed, "That's my business not yours. I won't let you have him".
All the bits and pieces he'd observed finally clicked for Ryoga. The
realization struck like a thunderbolt.
"You don't hate Ranma at all, do you. You've just been saying that because
you were ashamed to admit feeling any affection for him. I believed you when
you kept insulting him because I needed to believe that. If you hated Ranma
then I had a chance with you. But all this time you've been in love with him.
That's why you're willing to die fighting to protect him".
Akane looked incredibly embarrassed, "Look just shut up and fight me, Ok?"
Ryoga sighed, "That won't be necessary. I renounce my vendetta against
Ranma. The fight is over".
Akane stared at him in confusion, "Are you serious?"
He nodded.
"But why?"
Ryoga felt emptier than ever inside as he answered. "Maybe I'm finally
growing up. I said I didn't want to hurt you anymore and I meant that. If I
killed the man you loved while you watched, helpless to stop me, that would
destroy you. You may never believe this but I loved you, I was just too blind
to see you'd already given your heart to Ranma".
Both of them fell silent. Shampoo decide it was past time she got a few
words in.
"Girl has messed up husband's mind somehow. However Shampoo still has
vengeance to claim".
Akane braced herself for an attack as Ryoga asked Shampoo, "What are you
talking about?"
"Boy is girl Shampoo swore to kill".
"But when we arrived for the duel you swore not to harm the male Ranma".
"Ah! ethical dilemma". Shampoo thought for a moment then announced,
"Easy answer. Shampoo transform boy then kill girl form".
"Uh wait a second Shampoo", Ryoga tried to think. If Shampoo killed Ranma
it would be as bad for Akane as him doing it. Inspiration struck, everyone
gets lucky sooner or later.
"Shampoo you want me to come to China with you right, with no delays".
"Of course, Shampoo have impression Ryoga already promise that".
"Well if you'll leave Ranma alone I'll be happy to accompany you". Before
she could protest he continued, "I read your lawbook carefully. According to
it you are released from the obligation to track and kill your opponent if she
vanishes permanently due to magical intervention".
Shampoo consulted the book, "Yes, is subclause to Section 3, Paragraph 4".
"Ok in that case, Akane do you pledge to keep Ranma from contact with cold
water?"
"Please somebody let Akane figure it out", he prayed silently.
Akane thought for a moment then nodded, "I pledge that Ranma will never
transform again".
Ryoga turned back to Shampoo, "So the girl who defeated you no longer
exists, therefore your honor is satisfied".
Shampoo stood still and thought deeply. Then she announced, "This seems
like using loophole in law, but if Ryoga returns to China for marriage with
Shampoo she will accept this".
Ryoga looked up, "It's going to start raining now", he thought, "that's
just the way things happen around here".
No one can be unlucky all the time. The sky remained cloudless.
Aloud he said, "Ok Shampoo, we have no reason to remain here, we'd better
be going". He picked up his backpack, "Goodbye Akane, take care of Ranma. I
hope he recovers".
She looked up briefly from her examination of Ranma's injuries and nodded.
Ranma began drifting back to unconsciousness. Akane had risked her life to
save him. He really hoped he'd remember that when he woke up.
Ryoga turned back to Shampoo. There was nothing more to say to Akane.
She was never his, never would have been, if he had any future it was with
Shampoo.
"You'd better lead the way, my sense of direction isn't the best".
Shampoo nodded and they walked back through the gate. He had his pack
with all his possessions, no reason to delay. He'd have to write his parents
from China explaining matters. A thought occurred to him.
"Is my being Japanese going to cause any problem in your village?"
Shampoo shook her head, "You good fighter, everyone will respect you for
that". Something occurred to her, "Almost everyone, did Shampoo mention the
Mousse problem?"
"You have moose in China?"
"She's referring to her would-be fiance", Ryoga thought. Except how
did he know that and why was he seeing Shampoo and himself walk away?
The two figures diminished as if he was rising away from them. The
landscape shrank below him as he soared upward. Then he was back in the forest
watching the pool in front of him boil away.
"Welcome back", said the monk.
Ryoga stared around the forest clearing trying to understand.
"Merging with an alternate self is quite an experience", said the monk.
"Of course we who walk between have no alternative selves. Still I'm told that
it's really something".
Ryoga struggled to comprehend, "But it didn't happen that way".
The monk shrugged, "Here Shampoo wants Ranma, there she wanted and got
you. But the world you saw is as real as this one, history is just a bit
different. Do you understand".
Ryoga sat down and thought long and hard. After a time he announced, "Yes
, I understand".
"Excellent". The monk reconsidered, "Just what do you understand?"
"When you showed me the vision you said you would prove Akane was not the
only girl I could ever love. You were right, I could have been happy with
Shampoo".
"Well, yes but ..."
"But in this world that bastard Ranma has stolen both of them from me!"
"I don't think you quite grasp the variation aspects of alternate worlds".
Ryoga continued angrily, "Ranma has ruined my only two chances for
romance in this world. I must have revenge!"
"Uh ... wait a minute ..."
"RANMA, I'LL KILL YOU!", Ryoga thundered away smashing any trees in his
path.
"Tokyo's north of here, you're going south".
The monk sighed as he watched the dust cloud move away and spoke to the
empty clearing.
"I was born at the dawn of time, I measure my lifespan in billions of
years, and (to the best of my knowledge) I am immortal. Yet I can't help
feeling I was wasting my time".
"DON'T WHINE TO ME, I JUST HAD TO MANIFEST AS ELVIS IN A WAL-MART ON
WORLDLINE 87621".
"I thought I felt you near here ... 87621? Isn't that the one where they
show appreciation by spitting?"
"YES, A BAD PLACE TO APPEAR AS A CELEBRITY"
"All part of the rich diversity of the multiverse".
"OH SHUT UP".
"This was a fiasco."
"WHY? YOU SUCCESSFULLY DELIVERED THE STANDARD OBSCURE WARNING DIDN'T
YOU. NOW HE HAS THE CLUES TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WHEN THE CROSSOVER
HAPPENS".
"Yes, but I thought I could help him with his emotional problems. He was
such a mess I felt I had to try."
"YOU THOUGHT HE WOULD SAY, 'I understand now, there are many girls in the
world. I should not be obsessed by one who doesn't love me'. SOMETHING LIKE
THAT?"
"Well, yes".
"REMEMBER THAT THIS RACE CALLS THEMSELVES 'HUMAN BEINGS' NOT 'RATIONAL
BEINGS'".
"Semantics".
"NOT IN MY OPINION. ANYWAY IF YOU DEAL WITH HUMANS YOU HAVE TO EXPECT
THEM TO ACT LIKE HUMANS. PERSONALLY I PREFER THE EARTHS WHERE THE DINOSAURS
DIDN'T DIE OUT. IF THEY LOVE SOMEONE ELSE'S MATE THEY GO BITE HIS HEAD OFF
OR DIE IN THE ATTEMPT. EITHER WAY IT'S OVER WITH QUICKLY"
"Very romantic".
"IT HAS A CERTAIN BRUTAL POETRY".
"I'm a fourth dimensional superbeing, I should have succeeded."
"OUR NATURE IS LESS HELP THAN YOU'D THINK IN DEALING WITH MORTALS".
"Anyway why do we issue these obscure warnings. Why not just tell him
that very soon he will have visitors who will look very familiar? And that
because of time constraints we can only warn one of him".
"WOULD HE HAVE UNDERSTOOD?"
"No".
"ANY MORE QUESTIONS?"
"Yes. Why bother?"
"ELABORATE"
"We keep the multiverse from collapsing in on itself by removing stresses
in the timelines. In our spare time we warn sentients facing inter-universal
crossovers of what will happen. Why bother? Does it make any difference from
a cosmic viewpoint if they go into these situations forewarned?"
"NO, IT'S JUST A SMALL KINDNESS ON OUR PART. BUT FROM THE COSMIC
VIEWPOINT NOTHING ANY SENTIENT BEING DOES MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE. THAT INCLUDES
US, ORDER INEVITABLY COLLAPSES INTO CHAOS. THAT'S WHY I TEND TO AVOID THE
COSMIC POINT OF VIEW".
"Then what's the point of anything?"
"WHERE THERE'S LIFE THERE'S HOPE".
"The most powerful beings in all existence and the best philosophy we
can manage is a human cliche?"
"SO IT SEEMS. ANYWAY THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE, SO UNLESS YOU REALLY LIKE
THAT FOREST GET BACK TO THE NEXUS".
"I'm done here, hope he figures it out".
From a three dimensional perspective the monk vanished. From a fourth
dimensional one the entity behind the facade folded its disguise away then
stepped back into higher space. Walking between universes it headed home.
Leaving a clearing with no human traces except Ryoga's footprints.
Which pretty much concludes this story. However if you want a few last
words let's go to Okinawa a few day's later.
"Where is Ranma Saotome?"
The End.
On second thought
Epilogue
The figure appeared in a flash of light. No witnesses, excellent. First
priority was to confirm this was the target worldline. Confirmed. Arrival
time 72 hours prior to enemy intrusion +/- 2 hours.
Time to set the wheels in motion. He checked his disguise was in place.
It wouldn't do to be recognized as Ryoga Hibiki this early in the game.
Everything was firmly fixed.
With his infallible sense of direction he plotted the optimum route to
Tokyo and set off. Once there it would just be a matter of finding a spot
overlooking the Tendo home and setting up the equipment. Then he'd just have
to kill time, until it was time to kill.
To be continued in Ryoga : Crossover, whenever I get around to it.
Well that concludes my first fanfic. If you want to contact me about it email
me at mlatus@willow.msvu.ca.
As to spelling I took the characters names from the Viz translations, so I
spell Ryoga without a "u".
All characters (except Dave & Wally, the 4D guys) copyright belong to
Rumiko Takahashi. I'd like to thank Ken Thornhill, wherever in BC he's got
to for getting me into anime in the first place. As well as Steve Browne
and Bill Beckerson over at NSAMO for getting me into Ranma. Although I'm
still not as fanatical as them about it.
Speaking of which, If you're in Halifax, Nova Scotia for the G-7 summit or
just hanging around why not check out NSAMO. The Nova Scotia Anime and Manga
Organization. New members always welcome, especially if they bring new anime.
email me for details. This has been a public service message.