(Kuno) "I,
the great Tatewake Kuno, am known as the 'Blue Thunder' of Furinkan High,
but you may call
me Kuno Sempai, mortal."
(Me) "Should
I? Anyway, can you sit down and be quiet while I conduct my interview?"
(Kuno) "First
of all, will my pig-tailed goddess and will Akane Tendou be reading this?"
(Me) "Yes,
yes, yes... both of them will be reading this, now shaddup and sit down!
Stop swinging your
sword around, Kuno! You're going to wreck the furniture!"
(Finally,
he sits down.)
(Me) "Ok,
I'll start with you, Kuno."
"That's 'Sempai'
to you."
(Me) "Whatever."
The Kunos are
a strange lot, probably because of some sort of genetic defect
which
affects all of
them, including
principal Kuno. Tatewake Kuno lives up to his name though, with
that big
wooden sword which
he is apparantly
a master of, to the point where he doesn't even need a
metal one
to cut
stone or flesh. One more point of interest if that the Kunos are filthy
rich.
He is in love
with Onna-Ranma, whom he calls his "Pig-Tailed Goddess" or "Bian-Zhi Gu
Niang" in
Chinese. He's
always trying to date Onna-Ranma, or Osage no Onna, while trying to kill
Ranma-Kun, and
even though
he's seen
Ranma change at least once, his defective brain refuses to accept the fact,
which is
probably why
he sounds so goofy
in the Japanese Anime. He in fact accuses Ranma of kidnapping or
using black
magic to make his pig-tailed goddess disappear, and wants to rescue her
from his clutches.
Heck, even
when Akane and Ranma spell out the sentence "I don't like you" word for
word, Kuno simply
refuses to
believe it. He's quite deluded, and always thinks he does everything right,
even if it goes
horribly
wrong.
He's also very arrogant, and LOVES spouting HORRIBLE poetry, quotes
from Shakespeare (he must be
twisting in
his grave by now) and all sorts of strange things about how much he loves
Akane and Ranma.
In one of the TV episodes (Ukyo wears a dress, I think it was called Battle
of Skirts of something), Kuno
apparently
shows some intelligence by recognizing Ukyo in the dress. Maybe the spatula
gave her away?
His combat
style simply consists of slash and thrust, using his wooden sword, and
he has his own
Kendo class
in Furinkan High.It's easy to avoid, in Ranma's case anyway,
but is powerful,
and Ranma
once recieved
a cut from it, when he was distracted by a picture of himself
as a girl, in
a state of
undress. (How
does Nabiki get these pictures!?) Kuno's also smitten by Akane,
who hates him
as
much as Ranma
does, and is always trying to avoid Kuno if possible, or else by using
the traditional
method of
kicking him off. Kuno had better find a girl as retarded as he is, he isn't
going to
have any luck
with Akane
or Onna-Ranma. Nabiki is always taking advantage of him too, exploiting
his vast resources
of cash for
her own ends.
(Kuno) "Hey,
don't you talk about me like that, you worm!"
(Me) "I'm
done with you anyway, Kuno. Get lost." *blam* (Kuno) "aiieeee........"
(A shower
of black roses....)
Age : 17
Hair : Black, ponytail to one side.
Clothes : Mostly green leotard,
black rose motif.
Likes : Ranma-kun, drugging her friends/foes.
Curse : As retarded as her brother.
Dislikes : Ranma-chan, all other fiancees of
him.
Weapons : Ribbon, gymnastic tools,
poisons and drugs.
Chinese Name : Yiu Xiao Dao (Xiao
Dao means little blade/knife/sword.)
Also Hei Mei Gui (Hei is black, mei gui is Rose.)
(Kodachi) "haahaahaahaa....
now my brother's gone, I can have the entire interview to myself!"
(Me) "Mmm
hmm... you've got...." *click* "20 minutes to tell me your life story.
Now."
(Kodachi)
"Here goes..."
Kodachi is
Kuno's younger sister, but equally retarded. She holds a crush on Ranma-Kun,
and is always
trying to
date HIM. She's a master at Rhythimic Gymnastic Combat, as well as Dirty
Tricks Warfare and
Chemical Warfare.
As a habit, she's always putting sleeping potions or paralysis potions
into the food she
prepares for
others, especially Ranma. Black Rose for her fits quite well, somehow,
because she's quite
"bad" at heart,
inconsiderate, the black sheep. (Rose here is for her beauty. Yech.)
Kodachi's bulk
of wins come from the Dirty Tricks skill she always uses. (Namely, using
a giant wooden
mallet to
bash her competitiors before they compete the next day, so that Kodachi
wins by default.),
which isn't
to say her Rhythimic Gymnastic Skills aren't bad, they're excellent! But
she's always using
spiked rods,
wooden ribbons, etc. to fight. She
studies at St. Harbeke's Girl School, (Spelling may be
wrong. It
means drunk.)
In regards
to Ranma, she's a master of photography doctoring. Give her some negatives
of her and
Ranma, and
she'll conjure up a photo guaranteed to depict a scene of her and Ranma
kissing, hugging,
etc,
you name it, she'll
make it. (And where do all those black rose petals come from?)
The only point of brightness between the two Kunos is when they begin to
fight over the two Ranmas,
in which they
don't do much to harm others around them and are actually doing something
constructive,
like using
their brains.
(Me) "Ok, Kodachi,
I'm sorry, but your 20 minutes are up."
(Kodachi)
"Oh, no matter.... I was done here anyway! Send this to Ranma! Goodbye!
I'm going to look
for him! haahaahaahaahaa!"
(She leaves
in a cloud of black rose petals.)
(Me) " Darn,
I'll have to sweep up now."
The two Kunos
also have a servant, named Sasuke Sarugature. He is their loyal servant,
and
fairly accomplished but sometimes clumsy ninja. He
bears their verbal abuse quite well, being the
humbles
servant he is. He also does many odd jobs for the
two, obeying their every command, be it to
capture
Akane or take photos of them. He is basically
polite and considerate, and the Kunos can't really
get along
without him.... and vice versa.
[Editor's Note
: Sasuke only appears in the Anime. Hikaru Gosunkugi replaces him in the
Manga.]
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