Five Seconds - Lita's Story
by Fiona Lim
Flim@hotmail.com
Author's Note:
This is the second story in the series: Ordinary People. It starts straight after 'Catch the Stars'.
Please write me and tell me exactly what you think of it!!!
DISCLAIMER: Sailor Moon and all original characters of the series belong to the writers and
creators of the cartoon series - 'Sailor Moon'. Everything else belongs to the author.
Copyright 1997: Fiona Lim and any other names she may use.
***
"Lita, I've been in love with your for so long." He whispered,
not daring to see her face, "I've been in love with you for longer than
I can remember."
Lita stared at Ken in silence as his words echoed in her mind.
*In love with me?* For an instance, anger ran through her, then fear,
she felt like running from those words. Hiding from those words.
Ken had been her constant. No matter how many times her boyfriend would
dump her, Ken had been there. Through what felt like a thousand tries
at true love - and a thousand hurtful tears and lost loves, Ken had been
there. A steady, ever lasting rock of surety.
*He would always be there. Would always, ALWAYS be there, to hold me,
to care for me - to make me feel safe and never leave me alone.*
But now he'd turned everything around, he'd changed everything.
*THEY pretended to love me as well.* Lita drew away from him, ignoring
the hiss of pain as Ken stared at her, she felt she was dying inside,
*Oh Ken - why did you have to say those words?* Because now, Ken would
leave her as well.
*You'll be like all the others, you'll dump me, and this time, you won't
be there to shelter me from the cold. . . You won't be there to hold
the umbrella and let me cry in your shoulders.*
"Lita?" Ken whispered, holding out his hand, "Lita - please, talk to
me." his eyes were filled with hurt as he walked towards her.
Panic rose in Lita's throat and she jerked back, "No!" she shouted, not
sure whether she was saying no to talking to him or denying what he said
- what would happen now that he'd SAID it.
She felt the door behind her, with nerveless fingers, she pulled the
door open and ran out of the house, head tucked down, tears running
silently down her cheeks.
She didn't know where she was going, till she looked up and found
herself in the park where Josh had dumped her.
*And where Ken held me afterwards.* Lita bit her lip in pain, *He'll
never hold me again. He'll never be there for me again.* she hugged
herself, feeling alone and vulnerable to the world.
*Why did he have to say those words? Why did he have to change
everything?* Lita asked as she sank down on a bench, staring at the
ground, *Why did he have to say those words? Now he'll leave like they
all did.*
Her parents had said they'd loved her, and THEY had left her.
Her boyfriends had all pretended to love her, and THEY had dumped her.
Now Ken had said it, and he would leave her as well.
Lita closed her eyes, rubbing at the wet tears streaking down her
cheeks, *Get a grip, Lita!* she told herself fiercely. *The first rule
- NEVER let them see how hurt you are.*
She'd learnt that after being picked on over and over again at every new
school she'd been sent to with each successive foster home after her
parents had died in the plane crash.
It was beginning to rain now - heavy drops of rain that mingled on her
face with the tears and drenched her clothes. Lita frowned as she heard
the sound of laughter - a child's laughter.
A young mother with long, curly blonde hair was pushing a stroller
quickly out of the park towards her car, a skipping pink clothed toddler
following her. Suddenly, the toddler tripped - or fell. The laughter
vanished as the air was filled with wails of pain.
The young mother paused and bent down to pick up her child.
"It HUUUUUUUUUUUURTS mummy!" the toddler wailed, "It
HUUUUUUUUUUURTS!"
The mother hugged the toddler, whispering sweet comfort into her ear
till the wailing grew into sniffles and finally stopped. Silently, the
mother stood up, smiling down at her toddler, "Come on, Jessie - time to
go home." She said, holding out her hand.
Little Jessie sniffed, "Don't wanna walk, mummy!" she said, "Don't
wanna walk - it'll hurt again!" her lower lip trembled, "Carry me?"
The mother kneeled down again, and stared at Jessie, "But if you don't
walk - then you can't run - then you can't come to the park any more
because you have to be able to walk to play on the slides and swings."
She said, wiping away a tear, "Be brave for mummy?"
Jessie stared at her mother for several seconds, then nodded, "Yes."
She said, smiling waterly before taking her mother's hand and
following.
Lita watched the small family - remembering something *her* mother
had told her once.
"In each person's life - there is a time when they have a chance.
Five seconds between one way of life and another. Let's say one night,
somebody is so tired of studying for a test - and that person throws his
text book at the door because he doesn't want to study any more. Maybe,
for you, that's your five seconds. Perhaps if you picked up the book
and study, you'd pass the test with flying colors, and because you
understand all the work, maybe one day that person would become the
person that discovered the cure for cancer or AIDS."
Eleven year old Lita had frowned - the night before, she had thrown her
text book at the door because she didn't want to study any more - and
SHE hadn't picked it up again to study, "What happens if the person
didn't study anymore?" she asked.
Her mother had shrugged, "Then he won't discover the cure for AIDS or
cancer. Their five seconds would be gone, and they'd have lost their
chance - maybe forever." She said, staring at Lita.
At eleven years, Lita had been sure that her five seconds had been up
because she hadn't picked up her text book and continued studying.
At fifteen years, Lita wondered whether this was her 'five seconds'.
*Am I willing to take the chance on Ken?* she wondered, *No other guy
ever said they loved me. And Ken knows EVERYTHING about me. He's been
there for me for forever. He held me when I cried over all of THEM.
Maybe - maybe he wouldn't leave me.* she sat there, ignoring the rain
that was pelting down now.
*But do I dare take the chance on him? Can I bear it if he leaves me as
well?*
She could love Ken, the potential was waiting - had always been waiting,
IF she allowed herself to. That had never been the question. *The
question - or statement - was that if I let myself love him like I loved
the other boys and went out with him, he'd leave me too. And then I'd
be alone.* Lita looked at her fingers, she could smell the chicken and
chips - the ones she'd dropped on Ken's room floor - on them.
*Dare I take the chance with him?*
Dare she take her five seconds now it was in front of her?
***
"Ken?" his mother's voice came faintly through the door.
Ken stared at the door, and contemplated throwing something at the door,
or just not answering. *Maybe she'll just go away if I ignore her.* he
thought, then sighed, *OR, seeing as this is MUM, she'll walk in.*
"Yes?"
"There's somebody in the kitchen for you." she replied, "I've got to
run out to the grocery shop for some milk, so don't leave the house.
Your dad left his keys at home again, and he's going to be coming home
soon." she added.
Tiredly, Ken walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. He stared
at the ground, noticing that his socks were mismatched, one had straight
white lines, while the other were wavy lines.
"Ken?"
His head jerked up as he stared at Lita. Her brown hair was plastered
to her face, the bouncy pony tail limp and dripping on the tiled floor.
"Lita." He breathed, staring at her - not daring to hope. *What
does this mean?* he wondered, *What does her coming back represent?*
"Oh god." Lita murmured than ran towards him, hugging him tightly,
"YOU're my five seconds." She whispered, "And I took it."
Ken stared blindly at her, "What?" he opened his mouth to say more, but
found instead Lita's mouth, and decided that whatever he had to say
could wait!
He felt the stars exploding behind his eyes, *So this is what it feels
to catch those stars.* he thought in wonder.
"Ken?" Lita leaned back, staring at him, her smile watery, "I don't
know - I mean. . . I don't know whether we'll end up together forever
or anything - but -" she took a deep breath, "I want to take the chance
with you." her eyes were round and filled with vulnerability.
Ken put a finger on her lips, "I won't leave you, Lita. Never." He
promised, "I love you. I've been waiting for you all this while." He
smiled slightly, "I'm glad you've FINALLY decided to wait for me too."
He said, and kissed her again.
The End
So what do you think? Too soppy? Or just right? Please send all comments
to: flim@hotmail.com
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