(1-97) I often wonder what an anthropologist would say about the huge social experiment carried out for hundreds of years in China for the institution of the relationships between men and women. While the west is searching for the perfect relationship between one man and one woman, China has already granted their men all the privilege and pleasure having as many concubines and mistresses as they like. Nothing crystallizes as clearly as the novel "Pride and Prejudice" in the west, and "A Dream in The Red Mansion" in the east.

Both novels were written in the 18th century, but their significance is still relevant today. One of the most important themes in "Pride and Prejudice" is the courtship between Elizabeth and Darcy; how they overcame their prejudice and pride and formed an union that seemed to answer the quest for a perfect marriage. The "happily ever after" was implied. However, as mature readers in the real world, we all know that is the part that belongs to fiction. We know after several years, Elizabeth and Darcy would experience seven year itch just like we do, and in a few more years, they would have to find something else to hold onto other than the passion they initially found. Every society makes an attempt to solve the problems of the marriage institution by obligation, honor, or virtue. None were as daring as the Chinese society that gave men all the rights to pursue their heart's desire, and women the social status of being the first wife. Divorce was not necessary, because men need not get rid of their first wife to find other women; and women could hold on to their families and children if not their men's heart.

Bao Yu was the man in the Red Mansion. He had everything a man could ask for: talent, money, and beautiful women. He was the only child of the rich family in the Red Mansion. He was intelligent, but he was not interested in scholarly work, or a proper career. He loved beauty, and he thought men are made of mud and women are made of water. He loved every woman he encountered for their unique features. Two women who stood out as most important in his life were Dai Yu and Bao Chai. Dai Yu was talented, sensitive, and proud. Bao Chai was understanding, tolerant, and friendly. Dai Yu was a loner, and Bao Chai was popular. Dai Yu was fragile and melancholy, and Bao Chai was healthy and bright. Dai Yu would not tolerate the lack of faithfulness from Bao Yu, whereas Bao Chai accepts and understands. Although Bao Yu loved both of them, he seemed to find Dai Yu intellectually stimulating and closer to his heart. However, life is full of temptations and distractions, so Bao Yu simply cannot be satisfied with Dai Yu alone. Thus, the accumulated effect of jealousy and melancholy finally killed Dai Yu. She died young, heart broken, and all alone. When Bao Yu found out about her death, he suffered a great sense of loss. He didn't realize how important Dai Yu was to him until she was gone. He later married Bao Chai. However, he was no longer the same happy person he used to be. An important part of him was lost. At the end, Bao Yu gave up his marriage and became a monk.

I cannot help but think this novel is the best answer for China's social experiment on the marriage institute. The result of sacrificing one party for another is tragedy all around. There seems to be an inherent problem between men and women that cannot be answered by either culture. It seems to me that when God created Eve to accompany Adam, He forgot to tell them that all is temporary.