College Life Part I
Part I - Cars and Chicks
Pop quiz, so what are the two things every college Freshman wants? Oh come on everyone knows the answer to this question. They are Cars and Chicks. Also known as the two C's :)
Hey, just because I am in Rutgers, college of pharmacy and taking like 21 credits per semester, it doesn't mean I have to "live" in the library. So like any normal freshman on campus of Rutgers, I too want the two C's. Well if you have read my previous story, (me.html) you will know I have a nice car already. Yeah a red sport car with a sunroof, every college freshman's dream. Now the harder of the two C's, yeah you guessed it chicks. They can be a man's best "friend", or their worst enemy. It's like you don't know when or why but all of a sudden your sweet girl friend can be a bitch. Yeah we have all been there at least once in our life time.
What is there to know about love anyways? Shouldn't love
just be spontanious? I mean how hard can that be? You meet someone and all of a
sudden you are in love. Yeah right if you think like that you are living in a
fantasy world, so wake up and smell the coffee.
Back to me, the first of pharmacy class was great. As I walked into my class, I looked alround, man, everyone looked all smarter than I. You know you can tell when everyone in the class wear glasses and everyone sat in the front of the classroom. I was getting worried all of a sudden, do I really belong here? Egghead country? Nerd college? But wait a minute, as I began scanning the room I noticed something really weird. There are only five Asian guys, and there are like over twenty Asian girls. What will your reaction be if you were me? To tell you the truth I was kinda scared at the moment. I feel like a weirdo, everyone told me pharmacy was a major for girls, why did I pick this major anyways?
As the school year went on and as I began to meet new people I found out there is really only two Chinese guys in pharmacy (my year) including me. Kevin, the other Chinese guy is ABC, we became good friends. Hey after all us Chinese guys have to stick together :)
"What's there to worry about Allan, that just means more choices for us." Kevin said as he tried to cheer me up.
"Yeah that's true, I mean we do have a 10:1 ratio in
our favour." I replied. 
So you will think life must be good for me, after all I considered myself a good looking guy with a good amount of a intelligence that can sweep most girls off of their feet. Yeah right if that was the case why am I sitting in front of a computer on this beautiful spring day, writing this boring story? I mean shouldn't I be hanging out with girls? After all that's what college life is all about isn't? "Test drive cars" (inside joke)
Maybe I am just all talk, cause when it comes to women I am just shy. I don't know why I mean I don't get shy around all women, just the ones I like I suppose. See I always try to plan out what I want to say ahead of time and when the time comes I can just walk up to that girl and say it. Big mistake, you should never do that, since that's just useless, you will never say what you planned to say when you do get that chance. Just say what's on your mind at the moment, talk like a normal human, treat the girl like a normal person.
But of course talk is all cheap, so I will now share some of my experiences in Rutgers. Of course they are all about girls :)
Part II - Wanta Ride?
Having a car means so different for guys and girls. For example, for a girl as long as the car have four wheels and can get them to places such as the mall they are satisfied. On the other hand having a car means freedom for a guy. "Having wings" is what I like to call it, even though it's really other four rubber wheels. For a guy to have a car on campus means so much more than getting them from point A to point B. It symbolizes who they are, it can represent their own identity. Some people like to lower their car body, while others like to decorate their car with Chinese characters which they themseleves have no idea of its meaning. There are still others who like to install 200 Watts Subwoffers in their car so whenever their car drives by you will feel a earthquake. Hey after all, college is a place to find yourself right?
Attention, that is the word every college kids know so well. One has to demand it, I don't think there are such a thing as too much attention, hey you can't get too much of a good thing right? It's difficult to get attention from your classmates especially when you are enroled in a huge school as Rutgers. Of course you can always drive your father's BMW Roadster.
I don't have a rich father or a BMW Roadster, but I do have my Toyota Celica. I love that car, it's my first car. I drive to school everyday in it, even though it's not a Roadster but I love it just as much. Using your car to pick up chicks is a big part of college experience. So of course I don't want to miss out. There is this girl named May who I had my eyes set on for a long time now. I later found out she lives on College Ave and the best thing is she don't have a car. Yeah, thank you God for this chance. Okay it's time for me to make my move :)
Of course everyone is afford of rejections. But I do believe it's better to get rejected than not trying at all. When you see a chance in life you just have to go and take it. One day after our Organic Chem. Class I saw her waiting by the bus stop, okay here I go.
"Hey May." I said, starting out the conversation with some small talk.
"Oh hi Allan." Oh good, I thought to myself, at least she knows my name.
"Where u live?" I asked, even though I really know the answer already, hey I don't want her to find out I have been "inspecting" her.
"College Ave, kinda suck since most people live on Busch."
"Really? So YOU WANTA RIDE?" I finally said the question of the hour.
"Na, it's okay, it's not too bad taking the bus."
Oh no, could it be, no way. "It's no problem it's on my way home." Yeah right, totally opposite direction is more like it, but hey I am just trying.
"No really, it's okay, I gotta go to the library and study anyways."
Yeap, I bombed, oh well there is nothing left for me to say other then just walk away. I mean what am I suppose to do? Beg?
So there was my first WANTA RIDE experience. I hit some rough waves, but hey I think that happens to most of the first timers. But I am still glad I asked her. After all college is full of new experiences :)
Part III - Best Friend Vs. Girl Friend
Hey everyone has only 24 hrs in a day right? So
what's the first thing to learn for an university kid? Time management of
course. One has to priortize his/her busy schedules. There are just so much to do on campus in any given time. In order to priortize your time better you have to decide on who is important in your life, and a problem quickly arise, who is more important your friends or the girl you have a crush on :)
People say money can't buy friendship, yeah that's very true, a good friend is so much more important to have than some dead president. If it's between money or friends I will pick friends anyday but when it comes to girls and friends it make it harder. Let's take a real life example to explain this one.
As much as I hate big lectures during my freshman year in Rutgers, but there is at least one advantage to have a lot of classmates: more browsing. Yeap, in any given university lecture hall you will always find at least three kinda students. You have the nerds, who sit in the front of the lecture hall forcusing all his/her attention to the professor. Then you have the who gives a shit student, those are the ones who sit at the back of the room, with their baseball cap over their eyes, sleeping. And last but not least there are the broswers. Yeap you know who I am talking about those who have their antenna up and their head spinning for chicks/guys.
I don't want to say I am a nerd but I do like to sit in front of the classroom, hey if you came to lecture you might as well pay attention right? I mean if you want to sleep then what's the point of coming to lecture? But to just prove I am normal I do browse a little bit, oh come on after all I am 21 :)
Anyways, so I was sitting in my oragnic Chem. class one day and all of a sudden I see this Asian girl sitting right in front of me. The funny thing is I have never saw her before. She had the most beautiful eyes, round face and her long straight black hair made her stand out. I couldn't help myself, I had to go and talk to her. To make a long story short, I found out that her name is Alice and she wanted to go to California as well. What a small world, she was going to go to UCSD (I was going to go there too) but since her whole family moved here she ended up coming to Rutgers. Majoring in Pre-med. Wow beauty and brains, cool.
That semester I also took up a lab class, yeah the one which you have to cut up all kinda animals, pigs, cats, frogs to just name a few. My lab partner was really cool, his name is Tom and of course he is Chinese. (Wonder how that happened, kinda weird all my friends are Asian, hey I was just sitting there and Tom walked up to me and said "Wanta be partners?") I later found out he is from Taiwan and we ended up becoming really good friends. He slept over a couple of times and so did I. He has like the biggest house I have seen, and his parents are really nice people too, so friendly. It's not easy to find friends like that on campus, so I do considered myself lucky.
I don't even know how this topic arise but one day we started talking about girls. So I told him about Alice, and how pretty she is. All of a sudden Tom stopped talking and just stood there. Hmmm.. that's weird, he is usually all talkative, so I asked him what's wrong.
"Oh nothing, just I used to know her."
"You did, wow cool, that's great, you have to hook me up." I happily replied.
"No, I can't, I think she hates me."
"What? Why? She seems really sweet and nice, can't image her hating anyone."
"No, really, I can't help you on this one, sorry."
I could tell something was wrong. Aftering a few minutes of question, I finally found out Alice was Tom's ex. Yeah like I said what a small world. They went to the same high school together. I guess we can say they were high school sweet hearts and went to the prom together as well. I can't tell anyone on the net exactly what happened between them but they ended up breaking up during Freshman year. Actually I think a lot of relationships are like that, once the two graduate from highschool, both the girl and the guy will change. A lot of break ups occur as a result of that.
"But no really Allan I am over it, I mean sure it was nice while it lasted, but hey I have to move on right?"
But really I know Tom, he is that type of a guy who really have a hard time letting go, hmmm... maybe that's why we are good friends, we are kinda alike in that sense I guess. So how long you think I should wait till I go after Alice? I mean they broke a few month ago, is that long enough? What will Tom think if I told him I went out with Alice? Or should I not tell him at all, but what if he finds out? How will he feel then? All these questions constantly were going through my mind. But then again, you know the saying "once you see an opportunity you should hold on to it." I thought about it over and over again, weighted all the pros and cons to this situation. To be or not to be that's the question, whether it's better to keep Tom as my friend or ask out Alice. What to do, what to do ...
What is more important in life? Having a good friend who you can really talk to and share your problems with or having a really cute girl friend who looks really good with her long hair wavering in the wind sitting in my car with my sunroof down. There are so many difficult decisions to make in life and this is definiate one of them. I mean even for people who has a girl friend, it's hard sometimes to prioritize between her and your friends. You don't want to upset neither but like I mentioned before it's a very difficult decision to make.
Anyways to keep a story short I did not ask Alice out as a result. I guess I am happy just sitting behind her looking at her back during Organic Chem. class. As for Tom, remember I said he has a really hard time letting go, well he ended up failing out on three of his five classes, he also lost like 25 lbs and all because of the break up. (Man, can't believe this, like I said before, girls can be a guy's best friend or their worst enemy, I guess that's another good reason for me to stay away from Alice) Tom is taking summer school right now to just keep up. I really got to help him find another girl, even though it's going to hard anyone as pretty as Alice, but at least he will be happy :)
Part IV - Pretty vs. Nice Another experience I have encountered during my years as a college kid is the difference between pretty and nice girls. And no they don't usually come all together, if you know any girls who are pretty and nice at the same time, let me know. I don't know how this works but usually the prettier a girl is the bitchy she is. Kinda weird how this works.
I guess one good reason I can think of is once a girl knows she is pretty, she acts as if she is above everyone else. You know who I am talking about, they are the ones who always have their heads up high, and once you look at them they give you this look, it's like "what the hell are you looking at." Geez, who in the world do they think they are, just because you have like five lbs of makeup and one litre of perfume on you, that doesn't make you very attractive, well not to me at least. They are so superficial.
On the other hand you have who I like to call nice girls, who are just really sweet. It's like when you ask them a question, they always try their best to help you out. Of course if you ask the same question to those pretty girls, they are like "what you are talking to me?" talk about an attitude problem.
Another conclusion I have came to realize is the fact as a guy you should try to get away from all pretty girls. Yeah it does sounds really weird at first but if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. There is an old Chinese proverb that says "pretty flowers will often go into someone's back yard." That really means if you have a pretty girlfriend, most likely other people will think she is pretty too and that can arise a lot of unnecessary problems. I will explain this by using another example.
I am currently the president of RMA which stands for Rutgers Mandarin Association. We have a lot of fun, and have a lot of interesting events. For example we just had a date auction. Can you believe it, a girl got "sold" for $125 for one date, man where do these college kids get their money from? Anyways the vice president and the treasure of the association are both very close friend of mine, their names are Ming and KC. They are both from Shanghai and they have been bf/gf for four years now. Wow a four year relationship on campus, you will probably never see that. But I mean they seem to love eachother very much, they always seem so happy together, yeah seem is a good word, until one day ... Anyways I promised Ming not to tell anyone about this so I can't post what happened on the web. But you get the idea.
Another major problem for a guy is jealousy. Guys, you have to agree with me, we get jealousy really easily. It's like "Why were you talking to him, what did you talk to him about?" I mean most of the time it's just nothing but still I guess it's in our genes we just don't like other guys around our g/f. A lot of fights break out as a result, so many friendships get torn away over a girl. If you really think about it, is it really worth it? I mean how can you afford to lose a life long friendship over a girl? How can you let a girl come between your friendship, but it's easier said than done. Especially when you have a pretty g/f.
Part V - PAIN What is pain? What is really painful for a college guy? So as for me I can stand the physical pain I mean sure I don't like it but it goes away after a while, and the scar heals but what's really painful are those mental scar. You know the saying "Scared for life" I think that's where it came from.
Is there anything else more painful to see the girl you have a crash on fluring with some other guy? I am sure most of you guys have been there before, and I am sure you all know the feeling, it's like someone just punched the wind out of you and you can't breath. But then again what can you do? Other then just stand there and surfer. That's the pain I am talking about, see if someone picks a fight with you, you can always fight back sure you might loss the fight but at least you tried fighting back but at a situation like this there is no fighting back. And what's up with girls who like to play hard to get? It's like they know you like them so they go and flur with everyother guy infront of you to just make you jealous. It's so mean I think, what about our feelings.
But then again I guess that's what being a college kid is all about, being in love and then the next thing u know it, u been dumped. People say it's better to be dumped by a pretty girl than not beening in love at all. I hate getting personal here but since this is my homepage and I can put up what ever I want I guess I can share some of my feeling on this subject.
If seeing a girl you like fluring with some other guy is the most painful experience for a guy then beening dumped must be a close second. I guess I am lucky since I haven't experienced that yet, so people might argue that it's more painful. However I have had girls who I like moving away from me or vice versa. Yeap by now you should know how often I move around during my high school years. Sure experience new things, new place but it wasn't easy for me. See I am that type of a guy who takes time to really like somebody. And I think anyone who tells u different is lying, I mean how can you really know a person in a few weeks? I mean really knowing someone, enough to start a relationship with that person.
Part VI - IN LOVE? Probably one of the most miss used words in English is love. For an university kid being in love can be a weekly thing. Hey I don't have anything against trying out new things but still come on a different g/f every week?
So a question arises, what does it mean when you say you are in love? And of course the question everyone wants answer to is how would I know? I am no licensed love-doctor so I really don't know, but I can share my own personal experience on this issue. Well as I have mentioned before I don't fall in and out of love that quickly, actually as of now I can say I have probably be in love only twice and saddly both girls I have loved are now hundreds miles away. (Very depressing life I have I know). I think a relationship go through a lot of different stages, like your first telephone call, first date .... so when do you know you are in love? For me I know when I constantly think of that person I know I am in love, not the kind that makes you can't sleep; can't eat, but instead it's a good feeling, something that makes me smile all the time. I know when I am in love when I mistakely think the girl walking towards me is my g/f. That happens to me a lot, it's like I can be thinking of my g/f and all of a sudden I see this girl who looks like my g/f, of course when I look closely she doesn't even look anything like my g/f. And finally I know I am in love when all of a sudden all these stupid slow love songs started to make sense, like every single words is so real.
Sure looks are important but it's not the most important thing. When you are in love you will always think your g/f is the prettiest girl alive. No matter what she wears, she looks good. It's like anything she does is so perfect, the way she walks; the way she talks .... Of course it takes a lot more for a relationship to work but this is a good start.
Part VII - Study Angel Today is March 24, 2000 and I am in a bad mood. I am hardly ever in a bad mood, usually I am very happy person with no worries. I never loss sleep over anything, sure I get depressed sometimes but only a few things in life can really get me down. And of course with my luck something happened to me yesterday in school that made me ...
See school I can deal with, no matter how hard the subject is or how much homework I have I can always manage to do them, and I have to say I am a pretty good student. So I usually don't get down because of any school related stuff, sure I get stressed right before a big exam but that happens to everybody. However there are things in life I just can't seem to deal with, I guess you can say that's my weak spot. Maybe it's just me but somehow I can jealous really easy. I usually try to contain my emotions but it's very hard sometimes, especially when you see it with your own eyes and hears it with your own ears. Don't you just hate hearing the girl you have a crash on giggling with some other guy? I don't know why but I can't stand that stuff. Maybe I need to just relax and take a step back since it's pretty normal to have a girl-guy conversation. But still sometimes I think it's better if I don't hear it personally. Hey what you don't know can't hurt you right?
Anyways, back to me. See there is this girl that I like in my class (College of Phmarcy) and her name is Linda. I have always noticed her from freshman year but just recently I began to take interest in her. I don't know why I did not make my move sooner maybe it's because I am too shy. She is from Taiwan and what really surprised me is the fact her Mandarin is really good, a good quality that's hard to find these days. I can't say she is a nerd however she does study a lot, it's like the only place she goes is the library. As for me I like that in a girl, I think it's really cool for someone to show some effort in school. So I guess you can say that's my first impression of her. I began going to the library more and more, not really because I want to study more and more but because I want to just sit by her. Of course this indirectly increased my study time, which is good. I think Linda have given me a incentive to study. She is like my "study angel".
Slowly but surely I began liking her, and why not? Then problem came, what do I do next? Just go up to her and ask her out? I got so used to the idea of just seeing her in library studying it kinda feel weird for me to ask her out. And of course I am such a chicken when comes to things like this. So many times I want to just say it on the phone, just to get a reaction from her but I always chicken out at the last minute.
"Why did you call me again?" said Linda.
"Oh I was just bored ..." I replied, wrong answer Allan, what kinda answer is that? So you have no one to talk to and just to bug her you call her up? Why do I have to be just a shy boy? I hate myself.
Of course it gets worse. I really should have asked her out when I had the chance before someone else does ... Yeap, I knew it will happen and it happened. And why not? I am sure a lot of other guys find Linda attractive. But why right infront of me? See during lectures I usually sit with my friends in second row and Linda usually sits right behind me. More than once I have wanted to sit with her and just leave my friends alone but I thought that would be awkward. So there is this guy named Sam in my class and I never liked the kid. He is so cocky and he just looks like a jerk. I can't believe the shit he says. It's like "I never studies but I will always get the highest grades on any exam." WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? So he thinks who ever studies is stupid and are just wasting time? WHO THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE IS? Besides he does even do that well in school, I mean he doesn't even come to all the classes. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.
But he usually sits next to Linda right behind me, I mean I hate that as it is. I really don't want to hear half of the stuff they are saying back there, I feel like I am doing some illegal stuff by eavesdropping but I can't help it. Of course how can I concentrate on the lecture when I have both Sam and Linda sitting right behind me. I wanted to get a different seat but then I thought why? Why should I back down, I did not do anything wrong and I like where I am. Okay talking is one thing but asking her out to see a movie? Yeap I can't believe my ears when I heard that, and then it hit me, FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING? I SHOULD BE THE ONE TO ASK HER A LONG TIME AGO. LINDA PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU LIKE HER. I always fell out of my seat when I heard Linda said YES. I feel like jumping up from my seat, turn around and hit that Sam in the face, but I have no right doing that. It's all fair competition.
This basically leads up to where I am right now, just sitting here at work, all depressed and don't know what to do. Do I want to find out whether Linda and Sam went to the movies together? No, not really. First of all it's non of my business and secondly I don't want to feel more pain. The worst thing is I can't concentrate on my studying anymore, it's like I have lost my "studying angel."
Want to know more about my Interesting College life? Go on...
