One Night
Nuriko gazed desolately into the water. He sat alone outside. It was late.
Tamahome's return into the embrace of the other seishi had been welcome,
but very draining, and most of the others had gone to bed early, exhausted.
But Nuriko couldn't sleep. He had been as happy as the others at Tamahome's
return. Excited that Miaka's love had been returned to her, and glad that
the seven Suzaku seishi had at last been united. The festivities and the
feast had been wonderful, and Miaka had been more cheerful than she had
been in a long time.
But later, after everyone had gone to bed, Nuriko had indulged in his usual
practice of checking on Hotohori before he went to bed. The young emperor
had not been asleep yet, but had been sitting on his bed, staring into
space. His face had been so sad, his eyes so full of sorrow, that Nuriko
had almost made his presence known. Had almost gone to his beloved and
eased the sorrow. But common sense had quickly thwarted that impulse.
Comfort from him was not what the emperor wanted.
Hotohori loved Miaka. He would never love Nuriko. Nuriko knew this. And
every night before he went to bed he repeated it to himself. But every
night, after he had told himself this a few times, he would remember
Hotohori fighting for Miaka. Would remember Hotohori, sword raised, aura
blazing, standing tall and proud. And he would fall asleep dreaming of
being held by him. Of being loved by him.
Nuriko gazed at his reflection in the water. Beautiful. Nuriko knew that he
was lovely to look at. Had always had tons of suitors chasing him. But the
one man that Nuriko wanted had never looked his way twice, even before he
knew Nuriko's secret. Nuriko sighed. He was well on his way to becoming
downright depressed. Not for the first time, he wished he'd fallen in love
with a girl. He thought of Miaka. She was a very sweet girl. Loyal,
friendly, energetic. Why couldn't he have fallen in love with someone like
her?
But no. He was in love with Hotohori. Had been for as long as he could
remember. At first it had been distant infatuation. But as a seishi, he had
come to get to know Hotohori more and more. And as he got to know him
better, his love grew. He looked at the window where his love slept. Only a
few feet away...just a few steps and...and he would be rejected hopelessly.
He sighed again and returned his gaze to the peaceful pool of water. This
was not going to be a good night.
A sound from Hotohori's room caught Nuriko's attention. He turned his head
back to his emperor's quarters. Another sound like the first came. A quiet,
sorrowful sob, muffled as if it was being hidden in a pillow. Nuriko closed
his eyes, blocking out the sound and the ache it created in his stomach. If
he continued to listen, if he let himself hear Hotohori's sorrow, he would
give in to the urge to go and comfort him. But another quiet sob broke
through Nuriko's defenses, and before he knew it, he was standing in front
of Hotohori's door, his fingers touching the handle.
What was he doing?? The emperor would not welcome this intrusion into his
room and into his privacy. But rational thought was overpowered by the need
to help Hotohori. Opening the door, silently, Nuriko entered the room.
Hotohori lay on the bed, facing away from the door, face in a pillow.
Nuriko closed his eyes, braced himself for the rejection he was sure was
coming and approached his Emperor.
Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, Nuriko lifted a hand to
Hotohori's hair. Tentatively, he ran his fingers through the soft strands.
Hotohori stiffened and turned sharply, raising himself to a half-sitting
position, but Nuriko put a finger on his mouth, to keep him from saying
anything.
"Hotohori-sama..." he broke off. What could he say? He tried to tell
Hotohori with his eyes that his intentions were honorable. That all he
wanted to do was be with him in his time of need. He tried to tell him with
his eyes everything that his mouth wouldn't say. Hotohori returned his gaze
for what seemed like ages, and then closed his eyes and sighed.
"She loves him, Nuriko." His whispered words were choked with emotion.
Nuriko's eyes filled with tears. "I know," he whispered. He moved the hand
that was not in Hotohori's hair to his shoulder, and pulled him against
him, in a light hug. His fingers stroked Hotohori's hair, while his other
hand rubbed soothing circles on his shoulder. Hotohori let out a shuddering
sigh, wrapped his arms around Nuriko tightly and cried. Cried like he
hadn't since his childhood had been stolen from him.
When Hotohori's arms embraced him, Nuriko had been shocked, to say the
least. But Hotohori's tears soaked through his shirt, and he held the
emperor tighter. He knew that Hotohori would never be this free with him
again, and he wanted it to last. He murmured soft, soothing nonsense
sounds, and rubbed his shoulders and back, rocking slightly.
Finally, the emperor's tears began to subside. His breath was coming in
short, labored gasps, and his eyes closed in exhaustion. Nuriko couldn't
help but hope that maybe the emperor wouldn't remember this little episode
in the morning. That maybe he wouldn't turn away from him tomorrow, when he
realized exactly how open he'd been with him.
Hotohori looked up at Nuriko. Met his dark violet gaze with half closed
eyes. Nuriko couldn't help himself. He knew he would either be killed or
thrown in the dungeon tomorrow, but he leaned forward and kissed Hotohori
lightly on the mouth. It was the most forward advance Nuriko had ever made
towards his love, and he figured he'd be punished for it. But the moonlight
shining through the window, bathing Hotohori's beautiful face in light and
the sleepy loneliness that was in Hotohori's eyes left him no choice.
His emperor's lips were warm against his own, and Nuriko sighed softly.
He'd wanted to do this for so long that he could barely believe he had
actually done it. He lifted his head and looked away from the emperor in
embarrassment. This was not what he had planned when he came in here, he
told himself. All he had wanted to do was comfort his emperor. Really.
He began to rise, ready to flee before Hotohori realized fully what had
just happened. But a hand on his arm stopped him from standing. His eyes
remained downcast, staring at the lovely print on the quilt he was sitting
on. He couldn't meet Hotohori's eyes. A hand on his chin brought his face
up to reluctantly look at Hotohori. But before he could register the
expression, Hotohori's mouth covered his own.
Nuriko froze in shock. This wasn't really happening. It was a dream.
Hotohori was in love with Miaka. And even if he weren't, he would never do
this with another man. But Hotohori's lips moved over his, and his tongue
flashed out to touch his lower lip. Nuriko gasped at the intimate touch,
and Hotohori used this to slip his tongue into Nuriko's mouth.
A soft moan escaped Nuriko's throat as his tongue touched Hotohori's and
rubbed against it lovingly. Hotohori's hand moved to Nuriko's hair and
quickly released the tie that held his braid together, softly running his
hands through the braid, freeing his hair in soft waves down his back.
Nuriko wrapped his arms around Hotohori's back and pulled him to him. He
decided he didn't care if Hotohori meant this or not. He didn't care if
this would be just one night of comfort for the emperor. To him it was a
dream come true, and he would just enjoy it. Regardless of what tomorrow
would bring.
Having decided this, Nuriko proceeded to do all the things he'd always
dreamt of doing. His mouth went to Hotohori's neck, his hands to his chest,
and he began to undress his love, following every movement of his fingers
with his teeth and lips and tongue. When he brushed his teeth against a
nipple, and heard Hotohori's deep groan, he was elated. Carefully undoing
the ties of his lover's pants, Nuriko guided them down. By the time he
reached Hotohori's ankles, he was so excited and so aroused that he threw
the pants over his shoulder carelessly and returned to place a light,
teasing kiss on Hotohori's belly button.
His tongue flicked into his navel, eliciting a gasp from Hotohori.
Hotohori's hands were on the back of Nuriko's head, gently attempting to
push him lower, guiding him to where the ache was begging to be cared for.
Nuriko obliged. His tongue made the journey from Hotohori's navel to just
above his arousal. Nuriko lifted his head and placed a hot kiss on his
scrotum, opening his mouth, and sucking gently. When Hotohori groaned his
pleasure, Nuriko sucked harder, his tongue tracing patterns on him. He
moved his mouth to the base of Hotohori's penis, and kissed him, ending
with a soft suction sound. Hotohori let out a shuddering sigh, "Please..."
Nuriko had been waiting for this moment for so long that he couldn't
remember a time when he hadn't wanted it. He wasn't about to let it end
this fast. His tongue licked Hotohori's penis, which twitched under the
attention. His mouth closed lightly over the tip, sucking him in lightly,
then pulling away for a few seconds before repeating the action. Hotohori
twisted on the bed. Nuriko's teasing touches were nearly driving him crazy.
Nuriko delighted in the fevered frenzy that was building in his lover. He
brushed his teeth lightly against Hotohori, then had mercy on him, and took
him fully into his mouth, as deep as he could go.
The heat from his mouth completely surrounding him was more than Hotohori
could take, and he lifted his hips, trying to thrust deeper into that heat.
His hands went to either side of Nuriko's head as he moved against him.
Nuriko moved with him, sucking hard and pulling away, matching Hotohori's
rhythm. Hotohori gasped, and thrust once more, his seed pouring into
Nuriko's mouth, his hips not ceasing their thrusts until he was drained,
and lay back exhausted and sated.
Nuriko swallowed the last of the salty stuff and lifted his head. He licked
his lips, savoring the taste that he knew he would never experience again,
and rested his head on Hotohori's stomach. His arousal twitched and ached,
but he had the feeling that Hotohori would not embrace the idea of
returning the favor. Nuriko sighed and closed his eyes. He brushed a light
kiss against Hotohori's stomach.
"Nuriko."
At the sound of Hotohori's deep voice, Nuriko's eyes popped open. Shimatta!
Nuriko wished frantically for a hole to fall into and escape. Instead he
tentatively raised his eyes to meet his new lovers. "Hai, Hotohori-sama?"
The dreamy sound in Nuriko's whisper made him wince inwardly. He sounded
pathetic.
Hotohori put his hand on his shoulder, and guided him up. Nuriko was sure
his face could not possibly contain any more color than it did, as he met
the emperor's gaze. He was wrong. When the emperor's hand covered his
erection, and a whimper escaped his lips, he knew that the color in his
face had quadrupled.
Hotohori's hand grasped at him, and began to slowly pump. Nuriko's head
fell back and he bit his lower lip to keep from crying out. His hands went
to Hotohori's shoulders and gripped hard as Hotohori's hand began to move
faster and harder. Unable to control himself, Nuriko thrust against
Hotohori's hand, his breath coming fast and short, in the same rhythm as
his body and Hotohori's hand. Finally, he reached his release, and he
tucked his head into Hotohori's shoulder to keep from yelling out.
He inhaled. A deep, shuddering breath. He turned his head away to hide the
tears that filled his eyes. He wrapped his arms hesitantly around his
lover, and closed his eyes in pleasure when Hotohori leaned his head
against his shoulder. "Sleep, Hotohori-sama," he whispered.
Hotohori relaxed and closed his eyes, letting the world fade away, feeling
secure in Nuriko's arms.
The next day, when Hotohori woke, he was in bed alone. The sheets he lay on
were the only evidence that someone had been there. His usually calm face
burned in embarrassment. What had he done? He loved Miaka. Yet he had
allowed himself to give in to a moment of pleasure. One night, and all his
loyalty to his love had been forgotten in a haze of passion. How could
Nuriko have done this to him? Nuriko! Not only had he betrayed his love, he
had done it with another man!
He raised a hand and rubbed his face. He reluctantly admitted to himself
that it wasn't totally Nuriko's fault. He was almost sure that Nuriko's
primary intentions had been solely to comfort him. It had just...happened.
He didn't love Nuriko. But he was beginning to wonder if maybe his love for
Miaka wasn't as strong as he had thought. Last night, he hadn't thought
about her once while he was with Nuriko.
What was he thinking? Of course he was in love with Miaka. He had been in
love with her since he was a child and had heard about her in a story. For
some reason, a soft voice spoke in his head. That was a story. Suzaku no
Miko. You were in love with Suzaku no Miko. Not Miaka. He blinked. His head
hurt. And how was he going to face Nuriko today?
Nuriko looked up at the emperor when he entered the room and smiled sadly.
His gaze, which met Hotohori's and promised silence and no expectations,
was met with relief and gratitude. He knew that Hotohori was not in love
with him. Would never be in love with him. One night would have to satisfy
him. He would learn to get over him.
He glanced up at Miaka and the other seishi. Maybe it was time to focus on
things other than Hotohori right now. Miaka laughed at something Tamahome
said, and Nuriko smiled. Being a seishi, protecting Miaka was a tough job
in and of itself. He had a duty to her. He didn't think he'd ever forget
Hotohori...might love him forever. But, it was time to move on.
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