Time and time again we face so many obstacles testing
our love, but none have been as heart throbbing as this.
Was this another test?
Or was it the truth?
I only wish it was but a test, so the knowledge of
you not wanting me, not loving me won't have to run
through my veins.
Rejection.
I hate it.
So now what am I to do?
You don't reach out to me.
You do talk to me.
You have gone away to live in your own
world –
I still am reminiscing in the world that we once
built together.
It is slowly breaking apart…
Now tell me Mamo-chan, now that insanity that is
threatening to steal me away from reality, is what you want.
Tell me that you want me to fall apart –
That you want me to miss you…
That you are just seeing if I really do love
you.
Because darling, I think I passed the test
already…
So please come back.
~~~
(Right Here Waiting - Monica and 112 / Richard Marx)
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter and I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' Crazy
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive (This romance)
But in the end if I'm with you (With you babe)
I'll take the chance (I'll take the chance)
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Oh I Love You
Oh what ever it takes
What ever you do
Where ever you go
I'm never leaving you
I'll be right here waiting for you, for you
~~~
Interlude
Chapter 3
By Eternal Angel
Usako9@hotmail.com
http://cherryblossoms.cjb.net/
http://cblossoms.cjb.net/
~~~
She pulled out a pen, as she let her hand guide it on
the paper, forming her dignified kanji that she had tried so
hard to improve on – hoping that he could see how much
she had improved for him…
But it really did make no change, you see, she never
sent the letters she wrote. Those letters were just
consonances, something reminding her that as long as the
final blow was no struck – that she still had a chance.
She sighed, as she looked down at the paper.
She read it, slowly, taking in her own words.
Mamo-chan,
The days go by ever so slow without you – my heart
turns with anguish.
Can I gush again about how much I miss you?
I do, oh Kami knows that I do.
The distance between us physically and mentally is
making me feel so lost. I have never been this far away
from you, we are further than we were a thousand years ago
– the distance of the moon and the earth was nothing
compared to now.
Maybe it is but of the thought that it isn't just this
distance, but the thought that we will not be together.
I wish to die at such a thought.
But of course, I could never do so – to die is but to
lose the chance of you coming back and saying that you
missed me – that you are truly sorrowful of such passing
events. To die is to miss out of the chance.
I have changed so much!! I no longer am that child
that whined and cried – was that what turned you off
because I have changed that.
I also not am better at school – does having a
girlfriend who barely passes each class embarrass you? I'll
change just for you. I'll do anything just for you…
She sighed, every letter was about the same topic,
every letter announce the love that she was missing from
him – all eighty plus of them. But a letter a day was what
she did – but she could never get herself to send even one
of them…
She was afraid that he would respond to her ever so
negatively.
She shuddered, her feet dragging along as she looked
around her.
Christmas was everywhere. The streets, the houses,
the buildings, the stores – all signs of the merry holiday…
She only wish that she was half as merry as the
decorations.
But how can she when the more beautiful occasion
was to be spent alone?
'Iie, you have Rei's party to go to…'
Just what she needed, going to a party where everyone
she knew was. Yes, she was to smile, hear about them talk
about their carefree happy lives and how they are painfully
jealous that she had Mamoru and Seiya hooked on her.
If only they knew that Mamoru was but a memory to
far away to touch.
She took in a deep breath and looked into the shop
that was in front of her. There was but a ring, lined with
smaller diamond gems as a larger gem shaped as a heart was
but in the middle of it.
She couldn't help but want it.
"Look at that, isn't it beautiful?" A voice caught her
attention as she looked at the couple that was but to her
right. They were in each other's embrace, and she and
Mamoru use to be smiling at each other.
"You like it Ayo?" He asked the girl within his
embrace as she nodded, "but the prince is so expensive…"
He smiled, whisking her closer to him. "Iie, it isn't, I was
meaning to get you a Christmas present – and an
engagement ring…"
Her eyes lit up.
"Ohh YURI!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms
around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.
Her heart yearned for that to be her, and for 'Yuri' to
be Mamoru…
She turned around, walking her strange slow pace.
'Look what you have done to me Mamo-chan…'
~~~
Mamoru looked within the glass window, his eyes
glancing at the beautiful objects made from prized gems.
"Sir, do you want to go in?" A gentle voice asked him, as
he looked up at a clerk. He agreed to, as he entered the
store, looking at the beautiful jewelry.
His eyes caught onto a beautiful ring, a heart shaped
diamond was attached to a gold band. Other tiny
diamonds surrounded the heart… "There is only two upon
this world. One is in Japan, and the other one is here…"
He knew Usagi would have loved it.
His heart yearned. 'Can I pretend for a moment that
you still belong to me?' He had asked, as he nodded at her.
"I'll take it…"
'Even if it is just a moment…'
~~~
The Christmas party was loud and filled with
laughter…
She didn't laugh.
Instead she sat in the corner, sipping some punch and
writing a letter to Mamoru. She did that whenever she was
down, whenever she thought of him.
Dear Mamoru,
Merry Christmas! That's what they all say to me. I'm
not quite merry right now, I'm missing you so. The day
goes by so slow, and I cannot help but think that I am so
alone. The senshis do not see my idleness – but I guess it's
for the best – because then they wouldn't patronize me
about you, I don't like to talk about anything of that sort.
The day goes by so slowly lately, can I say how much
I missed you? I indulged greatly upon my studies, my
grades are getting higher now… are you proud of me? My
heart goes out to you, and I cannot help but wonder if you
found yourself a girlfriend over there? As long as she
makes you happy, I'll be content with just this empty game
I play on myself…
Was it something I did to push you away?
Or was it because you stop wanting destiny to lead
you into this empty relationship with you? Just for your
knowledge, I never thought our relationship was empty – I
believed it was fruitful and wonderful…
Is it because I'm not like your princess?
I am her, I know it, but did you hope that I was
someone more… sophisticated? More beautiful and
headstrong, not an ugly baka like me?
I'm so confused…
Mamo-chan…
I miss you…
Usa-ko
She placed the letter into her pocket, her eyes closing
as the sounds of laughter rang upon her ears. She couldn't
stand it anymore. Everyone so happy – she so miserable.
Making sure no one was looking, she slipped away from
the shrine, as she began to make way down the dozen of
stairs.
Christmas was a time to share with the person you
cared for the most.
But, she thought bitterly, what if the person didn't
care for you?
She headed home.
~~~
Christmas.
Such a bitter holiday. Before he had spent it with
Usagi – but now…
He sighed, looking around his apartment.
Nothing was right anymore.
His heart ached.
He missed Usagi.
He closed his eyes, picturing her in his mind.
Always so beautiful.
Always so perfect.
He wondered if she had found someone new yet. He
found jealousy rage within his stomach. "Another holding
her in his arms…
Another tasting her lips…
Another bringing out laughter from her
lips…"
His heart was launched with pain.
If only not…
"I miss you…"
He picked up the phone, dialing her number.
Ring…
Ring…
Ring…
"Moshi moshi?"
It was but her sweet voice.
He couldn't say anything, his voice was
stuck in her throat.
"Moshi moshi? Is anyone here?"
He couldn't find the courage to say another.
"Mamo-chan? Iie… It couldn't be… he doesn't care
anymore…"
She hung up.
He sighed, cradling the phone in his arms.
"Mamo-chan? Iie… It couldn't be… he doesn't care
anymore…"
Her voice rung in his ears.
He sobbed.
He did care.
~~~
Finally, another chapter done. Finals have caused me
to become insane… I mean more so… hehehe… anyway
email is great!!
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