For some reason, she did not know, crying, shedding
her tears her sorrow in front of someone had caused her
feel more relieved. She had become more relax. She
pushed the weight onto another…
It was wonderful.
She used to be able to do this, but it was lost.
For she use to cry within the arms of her love, as he
would ease away the pain by his soothing voice, and his
comforting embrace.
But now, sprawled out on the floor of her friend's
house with the letters around her…
The letters.
She had instantly gotten up and she began to pick up
the letters. She was frantic, picking up every piece of
paper, every sheet written with her heart back up, as she
took a deep sigh, holding it close to her.
"Usagi…"
She turned her blue haired friend, who took a deep
breath. "Are you okay?"
She opened her mouth, about to tell her everything,
the break up, the tears, the denial, but the worlds clumped
up in her throat. She took a deep breath. "I'm fine… the
song, it's just so beautiful…"
Hurt reared Ami's face.
"Gomen nasai Ami… I want to tell you but…" she
looked at the letters in her hand, "I can't…"
Loud silence filled the room as Ami began to talk,
breaking it apart, "I understand Usagi. It's okay, I'm here
for you."
She couldn't help but smile at those words.
~~~
Interlude
Chapter 5
By Eternal Angel
Usako9@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/cherii_blossoms
~~~
It took time for her to get out everything that had
happen. Her heart breaking, the emotions that riled her up
for the past months. Ami sat, not interrupting as she
listened slowly to what she was to say. She looked at her
friend, with compassion and kindness.
"Usagi, how long have you been writing the letters?"
Ami had asked, as Usagi looked at the bundle that she held
within her binder wherever she went.
"I been writing them every day, some time two, three
times a day, since the day he left…" Ami's eyes were soft at
that knowledgement. "I want to forget him… I want to
move on… but I can't."
"I think," Ami began slowly, "that the whole reason
why you are more determined not to forget him are the
letters… they are making you hold on even more. Usagi, I
think you should send him the letters. You'll feel more
relieved, and then, you'll also have the chance to move on.
You'll have the chance to get on with your life."
Usagi stared at her friend.
A chance to move on…
A chance to love another…
A chance to forget Mamoru.
She closed her eyes.
She could never forget him… but if he had gotten on
with his life and was now in love with another, she didn't
want to impose to that if he ever came back… she didn't
want him to feel guilty…
"Hai… I… guess I will…"
Ami smiled, as she handed a disc to her.
"The CD, you have been listening to that song every
day this week… maybe it'll sooth you… I don't know... I
want to see you happy again Usagi."
She smiled at her friend.
"Thanks Ami, I really appreciate all this."
~~~
The melody of the song filled the air as she held out a
pen.
It would be the last letter she would write to him.
It would be the last letter she would ever write to him.
She was somewhat somber at the thought, but took a
deep breath.
She needed to move on.
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe in nothing like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
(6, 8, 12 by Brian McKnight. I am in complete adoration
of this song!)
I listen to this song over and over – and I cannot help but
wonder have I reduced to this. To long and long again
and only feel despair in return? I love you. I know that in
my life, I would never love another person the way I love
you – but what can that help? Should I hold onto a
memory of a person who had left me?
But I cannot blame you… I am not the person that you
wanted. When you found out that I was but the person
you were bonded with for the rest of eternity, did you feel
as if a burden was lifted and placed upon your shoulder?
The knowledge that you were force to be with me if you
wanted better good to happen to the people upon this
planet.
I cannot blame you for wanting peace. I cannot blame you
for leaving me. You have always thought for the better…
It's my entire fault.
Ami said I should send these letters to you… the letters
that I never did want to send. The letters that I spent the
entire passing time writing my heart out into. She said that
if I sent them to you, I could have the burden taking away
from me.
But I long and long…
I don't want to let go – I don't want to forget…
But I don't want to be in this timely emptiness where all I
can do is dream of a love that will never be.
I love you Mamo-chan…
I love you so much…
She placed the pen down, as tears streaked down her
face.
She enclosed the hundreds of letters into a box, as it
was organized upon the dates.
She took a deep breath.
She had to do what was to be done.
~~~
He lay upon his bed, looking at the glittering
diamonds. The look of happiness upon her face was all he
could think of. He sighed, he wanted to be with her… he
wanted to take back every word he said. He wanted to tell
her why he had done such a cold-hearted thing. He
wanted to tell her why he had ended the only happiness he
had ever had in his life…
Why did he do it?
For her sake… he didn't want her to be force into a
relationship where only burdens were placed upon her
shoulder.
Maybe it was because he was scared – for he finally
had maintain the happiness that he had always longed
for…
A tap upon the door, as he went to open it, sliding the
ring inside of it's box within his pocket.
A delivery, they had said. From Japan. His eyes
arched up as he signed quickly. He closed the door of his
apartment and opened up the package.
Hundreds of sheets of paper.
Upon it was Usagi's familiar handwriting.
'Mamo-chan…'
~~~
He read each and every single paper – sometime
having a hard time reading the writing as tears smudged the
words.
He didn't know whose tears they were – was it his or
hers, force he had cried his heart out as each letter Usagi
had yearned and yearned for him.
He took a deep breath, as he finished the last letter, as
he read it again and again.
She was to forget him.
She was to forget him.
A slap upon his cheek.
She couldn't forget him… iie… not when the cold
reality that without each other they could not function.
'I long and I long…'
He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He
grabbed his passport and his wallet, as the bundle of letters
still was in his arms and ran out the apartment.
'I cannot blame you…'
'I miss…'
'I cannot help but wonder what did I do.'
'I'm not surprise…'
"Usa-ko…" his voice cried out for his love.
~~~
She couldn't move on.
She was empty without the letters to hold to her
heart.
She couldn't move on.
After sending the package it was just to late for her to
take everything back.
Mamoru was probably laughing at the letters, as he
showed his girlfriend how he had so many girls fawning
over him. But it was true; he did have so many girls
fawning over him.
She sighed, as she opened the door of the apartment.
The lights were on.
Her eyes were wide.
She had not forgotten to turn of the lights did she?
She took in a deep breath.
His scent… it was everywhere…
"Mamo-chan?" she had asked, as a figure stood up
from the couch. His eyes gazing at her as he held up the
hundreds of letters. She looked at him, uncertain as his
eyes met hers, as the blueness was filled with so many
emotions.
"I…" she softly said, as she looked down, ashamed.
He walked toward her, as his hand slowly tilted her head
up as her face was then peering straight at his. "Usa-ko…"
his deep masculine voice had started, "I long, and I long
too."
Her eyes widen as she threw her arms around him.
"When I left you, I thought it was for your own
good… I have been a burden… and I wanted you to be
free…" he had began, as Usagi's grasp tightened around
him, as she was taking in as much as him as she could,
praying to god that he was real. "I wanted you to live a
happy life… even if it meant without me…"
"I could never be happy without you. It is like telling
me to live without air." She had replied, as she softly
kissed the nape of his neck, "I can never live without you."
"And I to you. I constantly thought of you," he said,
as his hand reached for his pocket. "Even though I knew
that I was never going to be with you, I still bought this for
you… maybe because I knew that maybe… just maybe…"
He gave her the small box.
A ring.
Tears welled up in her eyes.
"Ai shiteru, Usa-ko." He had said to her, as he
brought down his lips to hers.
~~~
And so it's the end… lalala, hoped you liked!
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