She stared at him intently, as she wondered how he
had kept this up for so long.
He had continued to keep his promise about their
'day'.
For the past week they had always met on Thursday,
always having the day to themselves. Sometimes Naoko
came along, and respected their time together, never saying
anything against them having this day – 'Naoko is so
perfect for him.' She had thought, as she looked ahead, out
to the main window of the car.
'She's so beautiful and perfect for him. I can't help
but admit that they seem as if they were meant to be.' Her
eyes looked downcast upon the thought. 'But I can't help
but wish that not to be…' Naoko was a compassionate
straight foreword person that loved Mamoru wish so much
passion and emotion – and even though she tried to hate
her, she could not. She had done nothing to her but make
Mamoru happy.
'Oh Mamo-chan…
I
love
you'
(Ea: Are you getting the pattern of this section?)
~~~
You can hardly wait to tell all your friends
How his kisses taste sweet like wine
And how he always makes your heart skip a beat
Every time he walks by
And if you feeling down
He'll pick you up
He'll hold you close
When you're makin' love
He's every thing you've been dreaming of
Oh Baby...
CHORUS:
I wish you'd look at me that way
Your beautiful eyes lookin' deep into mine
Telling me more than any words could say
But you don't even know I'm alive
Baby to you all I am
Is the invisible man
You probably spend hours on the phone
Talkin' 'bout nothing at all
It doesn't matter what the conversation
Just as long as he called
Lost in a love so real
And so sincere
You wipe away each other's tears
Your face lights up
Whenever he appears
(Invisible Man - 98 Degrees)
~~~
Lonely Lonely Heart
Chapter 3
By Lelu and Eternal Angel
Etlchsieh@aol.com, Usako9@hotmail.com
http://cherryblossoms.cjb.net/
~~~
"Usa-ko," his voice wrapped around her mind so
delicately as she turned her head to face him, her eyes
blazing into his deep midnight ones as the colors of the
sunset surrounded them. His hands were on the steering
wheel as he drove his red convertible towards their friend's
house. "Is something wrong? You seem distant – if you
feel ill, I can take you home… Motoki won't miss us that
much, he'll be to busy entertaining his guests."
"Iie, iie, I was only think of things Mamo-chan, you
don't need to worry about me, I'm perfectly fine." She let
out a happy smile as he nodded in reply, adverting his
attention back to the road as the turned into the driveway,
finding one spot left, surprisingly. Gullible
"I think Motoki RSVP this spot for us," Mamoru
said with a laugh, as in front of them was a sign, 'Mamo-
Usa parking space'. Usagi sat there and blinked. 'Mamo-
Usa…Yes, that's the way it should me, Mamo-chan. Just
you and me.' Instead, she shook her head and laugh, "How
hysterical… And you were saying that he wouldn't miss us
if we were not to come." She said with a smile playing
upon her face.
Mamoru shrugged, "Dunno, Motoki's just weird like
that…"
"But, we love him anyways." She finished up for him,
as he nodded, the two entering the party as she looked up
at him once more, her baby blues staring so intently at him.
He was so carefree, so beautiful, with a heart so thick and
bold. 'He's going to make one girl so happy… oh Kami,
how I wish it would be me.'
~~~
She stood in the corner, her eyes looking around at
everyone. She didn't feel like lingering with the others, she
wanted to be alone right now, to let the loneliness pull her
away from the rest of the world so she could just think
about everything that was happening to her…
She recalled the argument Makoto and her had had
previously today as another letter from France came along.
"They really want to you Usa!" Makoto's voice was high
and singsong, as she looked at the letter, and back at her
enthusiastic friend. Her heart thumped with such notation.
'They want me-' but her thoughts had stopped as her heart
began to think once more, as it always did. She always let
her heart decided, for she believed that your heart is never
wrong.
"I don't know Mako, I mean, I don't think I would like
this experience. I don't know anyone, and well, I don't
think I'm quite ready for all this." She answered, as
Makoto's eyes narrowed down at her, ready to pounce.
"Not ready?! Oh Kami Usa! You know this is what you
want!! You have AMI there! Remember, she's a doctor
and you two always got along for so long! And you won't
miss us – you can always visit. Girl, think about it, this
internship is such a wonderful opportunity for you! It
opens up a new window for you? Think about it, your job
does not help you at all. What do you do there? Errands.
You have to bring this over there and that over here.
Usagi, you have such potential, don't put it in waste!"
"Demo, I don't know, I'm so confused! I want to go, but I
don't want to… It is a good opportunity, but then I won't
get to be with…" she looked away, clutching the letter
tightly. Makoto gathered her friend in her arms. "This is
what it's all about ne Usa? Mamoru. Why don't you tell
him how you feel?"
She pulled away from her friend, "How can I tell a person
that I known for all my life that I am 'madly, deeply,
passionately in love' with him? The guy that I have been
through everything with, the one that lets me cry on his
shoulder when I feel like dying? Anyways, he's thinking
about proposing to Naoko – what use is it anyways? He's
too hung up on Naoko to even notice me…"
"Usagi-"
But her voice was drowned out by her friend's heart
retching sobs.
She snapped out of reality as a song drifting around
her, sucking her into its atmosphere and it's sorrow.
"Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
"Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
"Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do anything to look their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will
care…"
She took the cup in her hand, as she began to drink
the punch that was held within it. Her mind spun with
everything that was happening as she refilled it and
continued to drink it up, as one sentence filled her mind,
'Have you ever…Yes,' she thought with bitter irony. 'I
have.'
~~~
He didn't think she'd end up this bad… he only left
her alone for twenty minutes. But the next think he knew
she stood, sitting on the couch, her hand holding onto it
tight as she prayed for the world to stop spinning on her.
"Usa-ko, what's the matter…" he had asked, as she
groaned in reply.
"You didn't drink the punch, did you?" She groaned
louder this time, as he shook his head. "Usa-ko, you
should know that they spike it…" She groaned a long and
agonizing moan as he shook his head.
"Never did I think I would see the day that you
would be intoxicated right in front of me," she looked up
and glared at him, as he shook his head in reply. He
sighed, helping her up, as she smiled at him gratefully.
"Rei thinks you're hot."
He stared at her strangely, as he recalled his meeting
with Rei. It was not the most pleasant, for she had glared
at him, giving him the third degree, "My dear, you are
truly, madly, raving drunk." With those words, he called
out to his best friend, "Motoki, I'm taking Usa-ko home,
she had a little too much to drink…"
Motoki nodded in acknowledgement as the two
stumbled out, as Usagi continued to babble continuously.
He led to the car, as he drove her home. "France…
hmm… far far far away… is that why it starts with a F?"
Mamoru continued to drive, drowning Usagi's endless
babbling with music. He looked at her, noticing that he
was blocking off the sound of silence now, as he saw the
blond looking out of the window, staring intently at the
silver moon. "I wonder if there is life upon the moon…"
she said softly, as her hands slowly touched the glass of the
window at where the moon looked like it was. "I wish I
could be living the moon… it seems to serene…"
She sighed, "Mamo-chan, don't you wish you lived on
the moon?"
He groaned.
~~~
'How does she do it?' He wondered, as he carried her
into the apartment easily. 'She is so thin and fits in my
arms so perfectly—I wonder where does all the food she
stuffs inside her go? Wow, she has high metabolism…'
His leaned his leg onto the wall, as he shifted the weight
that was on his right arm to the leg as he took out his keys
from his pocket. With that, he opened the door, closing it
with his leg as soon as he went in. He put her in her room,
as she sunk into her bed so elegantly, as she looked so
innocent-
He sighed, "Usa-ko, you are a handful."
With the sound of her name, she softly opened her
eyes, "Mamo-chan…" He smiled at her. "Hey Usa-ko,
how are you feeling?"
"Fine fine," she said softly, as her head spun, "or
not…" She giggled profoundly, "You know what Mamo-
chan?" She said in a low pitch as he raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
She whispered three words into his ears.
"I love you."
"Nani?" He said incredibly, as she looked up, "I love
you Mamo-chan, ever since I was thirteen – Hehehe…"
she said, her eyes looking through him, "but you never
cared…" she said, her face downcast. "But it doesn't
matter, as long as I can be by your side…"
She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.
"…as long as you are happy…"
She drifted off.
He stared in shock.
'She *loves* me?'
~~~
She now knew what a hangover was. She now
concluded with something, NEVER drink punch. She
trudged out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where
Mamoru sat, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper.
"Very professional looking Mamo-chan." She told him a
he looked up at her in surprise, as he swallowed hard.
"Are you feeling better?" He asked, as she nodded, he
watched her, as his mind spun. 'I love you Mamo-chan…'
That's what she said, and the words kept on haunting him.
'Maybe she was drunk and didn't know what she was
saying…' and yet…
"Usa-ko… yesterday, you said something and I was
wondering if it was true or not. It sounded a little too
fabled to be real and… I…" she stared at him, not
knowing what he was talking about, "Nani Mamo-chan?"
"You said… umm… you said you loved me… you
were playing right?"
Those words stung her heart.
'You were playing right?'
Her head bobbed up and down as he sighed in relief.
"Ohh, good."
She felt like crying.
~~~
'You were playing right?'
'Ohh, good…'
"How inconsiderate pompous jerk that basterd is!"
Makoto's voice rose high, as Minako tried to cool down
her friend. Usagi continued to look up at the empty
ceiling.
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
Her mind spun.
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
'He doesn't love me.' She thought, as she felt tears
form her eyes. 'All this time of wishing and hoping and
dreaming – but no, he doesn't love me…' she held on tight
to the stuff rabbit in her hands. 'Why couldn't he have
pretended that he had not heard…'
Ever since that day after her awful hangover, they
haven't talked much. Everything was awkward… the
silence between them. It had been two weeks, and they
haven't spent more than five minutes in each other's
presence, and if they had, it was a miracle. There was too
much looking away, and stuttering, so one of them would
come up with an excuse to leave. She made up her mind.
"I can't stand this anymore," she softly said, as the two
girls looked at her, their squabbling ceased.
"I'm going to France. I'm going away from all this.
I'm going away from Mamoru… I can't stand this
anymore. One can only take enough." Makoto said
nothing as her friend began to pick up the phone as she
dialed to the phone number written down on the notepad
as Minako asked, "Are you sure of this?"
Ever since that day, she had been thinking about
doing this. What was she to do? Continue on living with
a man that refused her? Maybe others can handle this, but
she was a very emotional person and could not handle the
rejection. "Hai. I'm positive."
She then booked a flight for tomorrow night.
~~~
He sighed, as he looked at his watch. It was the
second Thursday that went by, as he began to feel terrible.
'Oh god, I'm neglecting her once more -' He thought as he
went into the apartment, closing the door behind him.
Looking at his watch, he was sure that she was home, she
was *always* home around now.
He looked around the apartment, the living room, the
kitchen, the bathroom, and her room… but what had
frightened him about her room was the fact that all of her
important possessions were missing.
He panicked.
He picked up the phone and began to dial a number,
as a soft voice replied, "Moshi moshi?"
"Makoto-chan? Where's Usa-ko? She's not here… I
can't seem to find her any where…!"
Makoto's breath became deeper.
"Mamoru-kun, you are such a fool! You stabbed her
in her heart! Goddamn it, she *loves* you!! She loves you
so much!" Makoto's voice screamed at him, as he felt like
punching himself in the head.
'A little too fabled…'
'You were playing right?
'Ohh, good.'
He could recall the words that he had said, and the
way he had blocked her face wincing in pain as he said
those words. "Where is she? Onegai, please, I need to talk
to her…"
"To late. It's too late Mamoru-kun."
"Nani--?"
"She's gone. She left to France an hour ago."
He screamed in frustration.
~~~
Hiya minna! Oh gods, I got the sweetest emails and
everything, so it willed me to write quicker! I was to write
this during spring break (hehehe… yes, yes, I'm an
extremely lazy girl), but since I got such the wonderful
email, I couldn't help but write this story ASAP! Well,
email is the best!! *eternal angel
Hmph! Usa-chan took the liberty of practically writing this
whole chapter! I felt so left out…::sniffles::…but, I must
admit, I love this story (and- though I admit it rather
grudgingly- Usa-chan, too). So, please, feedback is always
good, and, like Usa-chan said, we really have been getting
sweet e-mails! Keep them coming! ~Lelu~
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