She was here.
She was in that office, with him.
Just the two of them…
He could finally tell her those three words that he had
wanted to, since he found out that she had left Japan.
'I
Love
You'
~~~
(I Want You to Need Me- Celine Dion)
I wanna be the face you see when you close your eyes
I wanna be the touch you need every single night
I wanna be your fantasy
And be your reality
And everything between
Chorus
I want you to need me
Like the air you breathe
I want you to feel me
In everything
In your every dream
The way that I taste you, feel you, breathe you, need you
I want you to need me, need me
Like I need you
I wanna be the eyes that look deep into your soul
I wanna be the world to you I just want it all
I wanna be your deepest kiss
The answer to you every wish
And all you ever need
Chorus
'Coz I need you more than you could know
And I need you to never never let me go
And I need to be deep inside your heart
I just want to be everywhere you are
Chorus
~~~
Lonely Lonely Heart
Chapter 5
By Lelu and Eternal Angel
Etlchsieh@aol.com, Usako9@hotmail.com
http://cherryblossoms.cjb.net/
~~~
Mamoru had quickly sat up when she had walked into
the room and saw him, lying on the couch. And when their
eyes met, he could have sworn that he felt electricity fill the
room. 'You sound like a trashy romance novel author,' he
noted grimly to himself. And when he had greeted her and
she had replied, his heart began to spin. Her voice…it was
like tinkling bells…and again he asked himself…
'Why didn't I notice this before? You were such a
blind, stupid man, Mamoru.'
'But now…everything can be fixed…and you can tell
her.'
Slowly, he stood up, and walked over to her.
She stood there, her eyes wary.
And until there was barely three feet of floor between
the two of them, he asked her, "Why did you leave?"
Usagi looked away, her face showing a faint blush.
Suddenly, she grasped onto her last preserver. One that
would tear them apart- she thought- so he wouldn't think
that she was still the lovesick fool that he had known all
those years ago.
And she wasn't.
And she was.
She really had gotten over him…
She had found a new person…one that would be
there for her…forever.
Or would he?
"I was a fool, Mamo-chan," she said, meeting his eyes.
"I fell in love with someone that I could never have…He
pushed me away, until I had no where left to turn.
But…that's all history now, and I-" she said the next words
with honesty and truth, "I've gotten over him. I've found
someone new."
His broken heart…the pieces that were shattered…
The tiny pieces shattered again, when he heard those
words.
He should've seen this coming.
He was a fool to think that she would still love him.
And yet…
He gently held her arms, and forced her to look at
him. Her feminine 5'8" frame against his masculine 6'2".
"Really, Usa-ko?" It took all of his courage to say that, for
he knew that with one little word…
"Yes."
…It could crush him forever.
She had said it so firmly, and it had echoed the feeling
in her heart. She was over him.
"And…I've found some one new, Mamo-chan…"
His eyes zoned out. She had found some one else to
replace him. But then, he thought, full of self-hatred, he
had had her for a while, and what man would deny her
every wish?
"His…his name is Kunzite, and I met him when I was
in France…"
(Ea: yah! I finally convinced Lelu to let this happen! My
whole obsession of Kunzite is sky rocketing lately – and I
for one thing Usagi and Kunzite are also a cute couple…
^^ but hey, if that gets me flamed, I didn't say it!)
(Ll: Usa-babe, I'm flaming you right now. They're *not* a
cute couple. Just be happy that I had that 'fight' with you.
Otherwise, I would have *never* added him in!)
Kunzite? He knew that man…Why, Kunzite worked
at his company, and was the President…One step higher
than he was. In everything, he supposed. However, no
matter how much shock he was going through, he knew
one thing.
Usa-ko…
was gone…
forever…
~~~
He had left the office early that day, but not before
asking Usagi if he could meet her somewhere, to 'Catch up
on the time they had missed,' while she had been away.
Too happily, she had agreed, and he had invited her to his
apartment.
To talk.
But…what would they talk about? He felt as though
his heart had been drained, and it was useless to even think
about being with her. 'This must be how she felt when I
was with Naoko…But…It's a different situation,' he told
himself stubbornly. 'Very different.' And yet, in his heart,
he knew.
He knew that everything would be different, no
matter how much he wanted everything to stay the same.
And he would never be able to tell her those three
words that he had dreamed of, ever since that fateful day,
two years ago…
He had waited, not as patiently as he would have liked
to, for her to come back. He had phoned Makoto at least
once a week, to see if she would tell him just when Usagi
was coming back.
She would never tell him, only reminding him of the
sweet past- and future- that he could've had with Usagi.
Lying down on his bed, he thought back to the happy
past…When Usa-ko really as his…although he didn't
know it.
And then, he felt his stress overtake his body, and he
succumbed to sleep, half- aware that Usagi- his Usa-ko-
would be coming over in just two hours…
~~~
She stood there, looking at her watch so casually,
'Two hours…' She looked up at her boyfriend who
watched her with interest. "My, my Usa, it must be the
twentieth time you glance upon your watch? Have a hot
date?" He said, his voice deep as she walked over him,
sitting in his lap and staring into his eyes. "What if I said
yes?" She placed her arms around his neck.
"Well, if you did, I would definitely be force into
destroying that man." He said, as Usagi laughed, giving
him a soft peck on the lips. "Nada, Kunz-chan, I just have
a rendezvous avec mon copain." She told him, as he raised
his eyebrows.
"Mon copain – a guy?" She rolled her eyes and
scrambled out of his lap. "My best friend actually, I
known him since I was little. I use to have a crush on him
too, but I'm over it." She said with a smile.
'Just a crush?' Was all her mind could question. She
shook that notation out of her head as she continued on,
"You must know him… I believe he's the CEO of this
corporation."
"Chiba Mamoru ne?"
She nodded, as Kunzite seemed to grin at that. "It's
so strange how fate has brought us together."
"Oui, oui mon amie, ai shiteru."
"Usa, you should learn how to stop mixing the two
languages…" the white haired man said, shaking his head.
She pouted at him, "But I love confusing you…"
Un-noticed by him, she glanced at her watch once
more.
'Still two hours…? Mamo-chan…'
~~~
She stood in front of his door, wondering what he
was to find. He probably changed everything, because he
always complained about how her designing clashed
awfully with her stuff. They had different taste. He had
sophisticated taste, and enjoyed dark tones. She was
different; she enjoyed fresh bright colors that lit up the
room.
Maybe he was married off, to Naoko? Or to some
other woman that was more like him. She sighed,
knocking the door softly. She pushed the doorbell, as she
waited patiently. The door opened, as her eyes glazed
upon ice blue.
"Hello." He said, leading her into the apartment.
She nodded, and followed in. Her eyes looked around and
–
Everything was the same.
"You didn't change a thing." She breathed out softly.
Mamoru took a seat on the sofa. "I couldn't find the heart
to change anything… If I changed things, any final trace of
you would slowly disappear…And then I would have
nothing left…Nothing but memories."
His memories…
****Flashback****
"Mamo-chan," a 15 years old pouting Usagi told him,
"you're ignoring me again!"
He was surrounded by girls his age, and he could do
nothing. He wanted to get rid of those girls- honestly- but
they wouldn't leave.
"Usa-ko," he said to her, watching the other girls glare
at her, when hearing his pet name for Usagi, "I'm trying!
Really!"
She stood there, her full bottom lip stuck out.
"Could've fooled me," she said softly, looking into his dark
blue eyes.
****End Flashback****
He only had memories left of her…
They could have created more together, but…it all
came down to one fact.
It had always come down to this one fact.
He was a fool.
"Mamo-chan…" She called out his name softly,
making his cerulean eyes focus on her, "Gomen ne if I
caused you to feel any guilt when I left."
He could have laughed aloud at those words. 'Any
guilt…' Really, he should've laughed out loud, but he
guessed that she wouldn't find it funny. Did she know
about the sleepless nights that he had had? Oh, he thought
bitterly, 'there had been many…Many, many sleepless
nights…Staring out at the moon and the stars, wondering
how she was doing…how she was faring…with out him.
But now it would always be that way.
With out him.
" But I couldn't stay here anymore. I needed to
spread my wings and fly away… And being here wouldn't
have helped."
He was hurt by her words, but he covered it quickly.
Had he held her down? He knew her spirit was wild and
free, but he never thought he stopped her from doing so
much.
"After I went to France, I found it difficult to live
there, for it was my first time being on my own…
'No', he thought. 'You were practically alone here,
too. When I was with Naoko all the time…'
"But I adapted, and sometimes found it wonderful to
be alone – well, not always though. I had Ami there
though, and as busy as she got, she always found time to
squeeze me in and made me feel wanted."
'Wanted.'
He remembered those neglectful days years ago.
He had made her feel as if she had no use in his life.
That she didn't matter.
He hated himself for doing such a thing… he
deserved this then. The change of heart, the indifference…
"And now I have everything I ever wanted. I have a
business with my friend Setsuna-chan, I have a boyfriend
who would always be there for me, and I have a life with
the future I want."
"That's good Usa-ko…" He choked out. She smiled
at him, a friendly smile that she remembered she would
always give to Motoki. He knew that this smile was not
one of a lover, but a friend, a family member…
"How about you, Mamo-chan?"
"I'm happy too… I have a business that is going
straight."
"What about your love life? You had always been
popular with the girls…" She said with a smile upon her
lips. What was he to say? That the girl that he had been
waiting for all these years had finally moved on with her
life? Had found someone new? "I don't really have one…
I had been working on my business too much."
She shook her head, "Ohh Mamo-chan, you shouldn't
do that. Love is eternal, while a business only brings worry
and stress."
"Hai, I know." He agreed, his eyes filled with over
whelming sadness.
'But love also brings heartbreak and pain.'
~~~
The tension had been high, as Usagi tried to sooth
everything, talking about her internship that she had in
France. Soon after, she looked at her watch. "Ohh
Mamo-chan, I have to go. Kunzite is going to pick me up
soon and take me to dinner… I could have sworn that he
was quite jealous of you when I told him that I was going
to meet you here… but hey, I told him that you were just
like my older brother."
Older brother…
Those two words were jabbed painfully into his heart.
But then…hadn't he always treated her like a younger
sister?
She had been…some one…who would always be
there for him…
But what would happen after she got married? Their
'relationship' would never be the same. Ever. Not that it
was now…
"Good… I wouldn't want him to misunderstand our
relationship."
She nodded, picking up her purse and grabbing her
coat.
"It's been wonderful seeing you Mamo-chan," she
smiled at him, peaking his cheek softly and walking away.
As the realization came to his mind.
No matter how hard he tried.
No matter what he would do.
Tsukino Usagi was out of his life. And it would
probably stay that way.
Dark blue eyes became even darker. 'Probably…'
~~~
She walked out to the sidewalk, as she watched as
Kunzite's silver car came up to the front of the apartment
lobby entrance. He parked, getting out to open the door
for her.
"Thanks," she said, as he closed the door, buckling,
she the looked up at the apartment buildings, her eyes
landing upon the one where Mamoru and her once shared.
'I use to be so foolish, to be so in love with him.
Now I see that the love that I once had for him was not
love, but a simple infatuation. Maybe because I didn't
know what love truly was, so I mistook the love of a
sibling to another as the true, hot and heavy love that I
now have with Kunzite…' She looked at her love, her eyes
glazing at him kindly.
'If it wasn't for him, I would never have realized how
beautiful love truly is.'
~~~
Well, what do you expect? I am totally in love with
Kunzite! Hehehe… very kawaii and cool… and so
collected! (Sighs) well… What can you say? I have my
short-term infatuation with different anime characters…
pathetic ne? That's what happens when you are as
boyfriend less as I am! Hehehe… anyhow, I was shocked
when Lelu added Kunzite into it… I remember pleading
and begging her last week, but she firmly said no… but it's
a surprise that she let me have it her way! *eternal angel
::smiles:: I'm just full of surprises, huh? Heh heh…-_-
;; Anyway, I really have nothing to write. I'm just so happy
that we're getting this story done so quickly! I mean, I
didn't expect that it would've gone so well! Hey, Usa! How
about doing another story together? ::Watches Eternal
Angel run out the door:: Um…Usa? Usa…? Anyway, e-
mail is good! ~Lelu
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