Title: Cookie Monster
Author: Hikari
E-mail: 
Rating: G



AN (You are going to need them):
  I wrote this story in the spur of the moment while I was munching
on some cookies my friend's sister made for me.
  *They're really good!  I wonder what she put in her cookies?*
  Anyways, I'll warn you about one thing of this story...  It's
really weird!!  So read at your own discresion.


COOKIE MONSTER:  A Mamo-chan Birthday.

	Considering the circumstances carefully, the man stared
in horror at the bag in front of him.  He knew what was coming, and
knew he couldn't evade it.  It was fate.  Destiny.  And as such...
he should have known better than to ask *that* question.  He buried
his face deeper into the grocery bag as he sensed his beautiful
girlfriend turning from her sweet tempered side to that of a -

	"Well *really* Mamo-chan!"  She cut in.  "How dare you even
ask such a question?!"

	Mamoru grinned sheepishly as he lifted his head from the bag.
"I just thought- "

	"I won't hear it!"  She cut in once again determined to have
the last word.  "I will bake those cookies for you *without* your
help."  And grabbing the bag from his hands, she strode into the
kitchen...  mission in mind.

	Mamoru could only stare at the place where the bag had been.
He had been so close to convincing Usagi to let him help with the
cooking.  So close to ensuring that they would come out edible.

	He sighed in resignation as he stood up and walked towards
the kitchen.  'Oh well,' Mamoru thought.  'Might as well start
making coffee.'  But as soon as he arrived at the kitchen... he was
out of its archway.

	Usagi stood in front of him, one hand on her hip as she
waved a wooden spoon in the other.  "Listen to me Mamoru-san:
*For your own good.*  Stay out of the kitchen."  Leading him to the
couch inside the living room, she sat Mamoru and gave him one of her
sparkling smiles.  "Today's your birthday Mamo-chan...  please let
me take care of you."

	'OH NO!'  He knew what she was doing.  It was her famous
puppy-dog pout!  'Please God, make her stop.'  But it was hopeless.
'Today's just not my day.'  He knew God liked her too much... even
for her own good.  "Alright Usako.  Bake me a batch of your *special*
cookies."

	"YaY!!"  She screamed as she hopped her way over to the
kitchen, eager to continue her experiment.  Yet on the couch, Mamoru
could only wait in destitution for whatever Usagi would bring him
back to eat.


		*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	"O.K."  Usagi said as she rolled up her sleeves.  "I have
one box of sugar cookie mix and one of gingerbread."  She looked
intently at both boxes before tearing open the lids and pouring
their contents inside a deep bowl.  "Hahaha!!  This is gonna taste
*so* good!!"


		*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	Outside of the kitchen, Mamoru could merely guess about what
was causing his Usako to laugh so maniacally.  A shiver passed though
his body as he remembered the last time Usagi had tried to make him
cookies.

	Unfortunately, no one had bothered telling Usagi that nori
and smoked tofu did not go well within cookie dough.  So in the end,
he had had to eat two-dozen cookies tasting like seaweed and smoked
fish.

	Usagi liked experimenting with food... and *he* was her guinea
pig.


		*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	"I wonder..."

	Usagi held within her hands a crystal shaker with white powder
inside.  She looked at the mixing bowl containing the greenish-brown
cookie dough.  "Yeah!"  And with those words, she turned the shaker
around and began sprinkling its contents over the mix.


      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*		*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	Meditating on the couch, Mamoru wondered what could be taking
Usagi so long.  Cookies that took longer than an hour to prepare were
usually not a good sign.

	As if she had been called, Usagi emerged from the kitchen,
cookies in hand.  She slowly walked towards Mamoru and lowered the
cookie tray for him to see.  It was what you could call, 'Cookie men'
gal lour.  There must have been four batches of them on that tray.

	Mamoru looked at Usagi's expectant face and reached out his
hand to the tray.  Dipping into the cookie hill, he grabbed a man and
steadily brought it back up to his face.  But before the cookie could
be eaten, Mamoru let out a yelp and dropped it on the floor.

	"What did you do *that* for?!"

	He stared back at Usagi in horror...  his eyes widening at
the thought.  "It- It bit me."

	Usagi's face contracted in confusion.  "It did what?"

	"It-" Mamoru stopped.  There was a moment of silence, before
soft tiny hurried steps were heard crossing from below the couch to
the adjacent coffee table.  "Did you hear that?"

	"Yeah," Usagi answered as she placed the tray on the table
and bent next to him.  "What was it?"

	He looked beneath the couch.  "I don't know."

	Suddenly, a mountain of cookie men stood from the tray and
formed into a pyramid.  Their mass merging into one gigantic Cookie
Man.

	Taking a step towards Mamoru, the Cookie Man grinned and
grabbed hold of Mamoru's shirt.  Hoisting him up, the Cookie Man
threw him on the couch and bared his chocolate covered teeth.
"Happy Birthday Mamo-chan."

	He tried squirming out of the Cookie Man's grasp.  'What the
heck is going on?'  Mamoru thought.

	The Cookie Man crushed his fist together until a cracking
sound emerged.  Then, opening his palm and showing it to Mamoru, he
began to pick out small cookie particles that had been crumbled in
the process.  Mamoru closed his eyes and shut his mouth in terror.

	"Come on Mamoru-kun."  The monster teased.  "Open your mouth
and try some of my cookies!!"

	Mamoru opened one of his eyes, trying to see where the monster
was and to his utter terror and surprise...  the Cookie Man had a head
shaped like his Usako's!!

	"Pretty please Mamo-chan."  The Cookie Usagi tempted Mamoru
into eating her cooking.  "I know you want to eat them.  Why look,"
she said as she held up a cup.  "I even made you coffee."

	In an attempt for freedom, Mamoru threw down the cup and
pushed the Cookie Usagi away as he ran to the door, the knob rattling
with his force.  The door would not budge.

	The Cookie Usagi neared Mamoru, her chocolate eyes burning
within her malicious stare.  The closer she got, the less space Mamoru
had to back away... until... sadly...  it all went blank.


      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*		*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	Mamoru awoke on the couch, drenched in sweat.  It had all been
a dream.  'No,' he thought.  'Not a dream... a *nightmare.*  A COOKIE
nightmare!!'

	As if she had been called, Usagi emerged from the kitchen,
cookies in hand.  She slowly walked towards Mamoru and lowered the
cookie tray for him to see.  It was what you could call, 'Cookie --'
gal lour.  There must have been four batches of them on that tray.

	"Oh NO!!"  Mamoru backed away from Usagi.  "I know what comes
after this... and I refuse to eat possessed Cookie Men!"

	"Mamo-chan?"  Usagi stared at the face of her boyfriend.  What
was his problem?  "Are you feeling O.K.?"

	"I'm feeling fine!"  He screamed.  "Just get those Cookie Men
away from me."

	She looked down at her tray.  'Cookie Men?'  Apparently Mamoru
was beginning to have a nervous breakdown.  "Mamo-chan... I didn't
make you Cookie Men.  I made you Cookie Roses."  She held one of the
cookies up to his face.  "See?"

	Mamoru's gaze softened as he stared at the attempted Rose
Cookie from his girlfriend.  She always tried so hard to make him
happy on his day... and every day as a matter of fact.

	He gently took it from her hands and brought it to his lips.
After giving it a soft butterfly kiss, he opened his mouth and threw
the cookie inside.

	Usagi's expectant face stared in fascination, awaiting for
her boyfriend's approval.  She had worked so hard in making this
batch right.  She had even followed directions!  And there was still
her other baked surprise...

	Mamoru grabbed another cookie from the tray not bothering to
grab his cup of coffee to wash it down.  He looked up at Usagi, a
boyish smile lighting up his face.  "Jis ar guud!"

	Usagi leapt with joy as she ran to Mamoru.  Bringing her arms
around him she began to lay swift butterfly pecks all around his face.
'YES!'  She thought.  'I have succeeded.  Now wait until he sees my
*other* surprise...'


		*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	As the oven's door slowly opened, a cloud of smoke surfaced
from inside.  Creaking, through the misty air, a figure stepped
outside the oven.  Its brown glove-like hands gripping the door as it
closed it shut.

	Turning around, the figure smiled showing off its chocolate
covered teeth.  "Did you miss me?"


							The End?

~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~++~

AN... (Again):
  So what did you guys think?  Weird huh?  I don't even know where I
came up with this one.  Looks like a Gingerbread Man gone bad!
  I still wonder what that girl put in these cookies.  They make the
screen have rainbowy colors... PLUS, I can't get enough of them.
  Oh well, please e-mail me with your comments.  Chapter 6 of Tenderly
should be out pretty soon.  (I know I've made you wait a while)

Minna-san, JYA NE!!
ATT:  Hikari

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