Dear Mother
Usa-p
Usagi@lunap.com
http://www.geocities.com/minako_usa
I don't own Sailormoon.
Author's Notes: I write this very brief sort of story for
my darling Daryl. I know that he will never read this,
because I refuse to let him read anything that I write, but
I write it for him anyway.
I guess, in a way, it's our story. It's how things worked
for us. I've just put Usagi into my shoes, and had her try
to tell her mother. Imagine that her mother does not approve
of Mamoru. Imagine a mother not approving of her child's true
love. That is my life story.
I also write this for Minako-chan and Garrett. You two are
so amazing. Without you I would never have survived all of this.
The heartache Daryl caused me, and the heartache I face everyday
because of my family.
Anyway, on with the story...
***
Dear Mother, maybe you don't approve, but I need you to know.
I love him.
There are things about our relationship that you don't know
and that you can't understand. You sit there and judge the
situation, and judge him, but you don't know the whole story.
You don't know what we went through to be where we are today.
You don't know what it took to achieve what it is we have now.
You just don't know, so let me tell you.
I broke my friend's heart to be with him. I knew that she
liked him, and when she found out that he and I had feelings
for each other, she wouldn't stand in the way. She encouraged
me to pursue the relationship and offered me advice. She stood
by and let me fall in love with him, and be with him. Quietly
she took the pain, and only wore a smile when I looked at her.
Who could ever expect that from another person?
Things were flowing smoothly for a while, but he isn't that
easy to have a relationship with. He has been hurt too many
times, and was afraid. He broke up with me, and broke my heart.
I barely had time to register that we were no longer together
when we were back together.
Again I experienced the bliss of loving him, only to have it torn
away from me once more. He broke up with me again.
I suffered for three weeks without him. I tried to live, to
exist, but I could not. I was nothing without him. I was a part
of something whole, of something great, but on my own I was nothing.
Can you imagine how scary it is to be so young, and to have only
known someone for a few weeks and know, without a doubt, that they
are the one for you? That if you don't have them you cannot be
everything that you can be? That you cannot live life to the fullest
without them?
Some days I thought I would die. I just could not take it. Mother,
I cried myself to sleep every night. I would burst into tears all
through out the day. I cried so much...
That was a pain like I had never felt before, and believe you me
I know the meaning of the word pain. I've been hurt before by
other people, but never like that. It was unbelievable how easily
he could hurt me. You know, he could hurt me like that again, right
now, but I know he won't.
The entire time we were not together, we spoke, almost nightly. I
called him all the time to talk, and we had soul baring conversations.
We cried as we spoke about ourselves. Before we were even together he
had set all his cards on the table for me to see, but there are things
about him, Mother... He is so dark in so many places. I've never
met a person like that before.
I made him cry, you know. I let him tell me his darkest sins and I
accepted him anyway. I loved him anyway. And I told him so. I
accepted him for everything he was. I saw the darkest parts of him
and I wasn't afraid. I didn't run away and I didn't let him run away
either. I never thought we'd be together again, though I hoped. I
just thought I'd be a friend to him. A very good friend who would be
there for him always.
I thought things were bad at this point. I thought it was impossible
for anything to get worse. That's when he dropped the bomb, Mother.
He told me that he had feelings for that friend of mine. He told me
that he liked her from the moment that he had met her.
I was shattered.
There is no other word for it. I was broken beyond repair. My heart
was in too many pieces to fix. I wasn't sure if I could ever forgive
him. I didn't think I could forgive my friend either. I had to deal
with that despair all on my own. There was no one there to support
me through that.
When he and I finally got back together... It was so amazing. I never
thought it would happen, but I couldn't be happier. It took a lot on my
part to move on from what he had told me, and to forgive him for hurting
me so much. I did it though. He and I have grown so much closer for it
all. We haven't been together for all that long, Mother, but we have
already been through so much. This is a relationship that will last into
eternity. I wouldn't trade him for anything.
I'm only eighteen, Mother. I have met the person who will be with me
for the rest of my life. I have met the only person I would want to be
with ever. There is nothing that you can say anymore to change that. So
please, Mother, accept it. Don't judge anything here, because it won't
matter. He has become my life, because he is a part of my very being.
Give him a chance, because I know you will love him. He is such an
amazing person. He is wonderful and good. He is everything I have
ever dreamed of. Mother, he simply adores me, and he loves me so much.
Just like I love and adore him.
That's our story, Mother. We have a future together. We have started
planning the rest of our lives. We have so many hopes and dreams. I
want you to be a part of it all, but you have to accept him first. He
is my soulmate Mother, and if you reject him, you are rejecting me. Please,
dear Mother, don't be blind now when I need you most to see. After hearing
our story, how can you sit there and pass judgement on us? After everything
we have been through, can you not see how there must be some sort of divine
blessing on us? Through everything we have persevered and come out on top.
Someone up there is on our side. Will you be too?
Everything comes down to one bottom line:
I love him.
Please understand Mother. That is really all I ask of you.
Your loving daughter,
Usagi
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