Guilt
Usagi-chan
Usagi@lunap.com
http://hop.to/minako_usagi
I don't own Sailor Moon or anything pertaining too.
The fact is a true Canadian statistic. Also, I'm
not quite sure how you make odango, so they have
sugar in them and you bake them, k? ^_^
***
Usagi sighed as she gazed up at the full moon. A gentle breeze
blew through the open window, jostling her filmy curtains.
Dressed in silky pink pajama's, the Moon Princess stretched and
yawned before looking wistfully at her bed.
"Not tonight, Usa! You have a test to study for..." She sighed
and turned her attention back to the books spread out in front
of her. The numbers jumped out at her in a jumbled mass but
Usagi's mind was firmly set. She was going to pass this test,
or die trying.
"And I've certainly had enough death..." She muttered to herself
as she picked up her pencil. "Tangent's, here I come."
Furious pencil scratching ensued as the slender blond began
studying the pages and pages of notes, working out various math
problems and checking her answers.
When she had finished, the full moon was almost finished blazing
her way across the sky. Usagi yawned and let her pencil fall to
her papers.
"Enough of this..." She whispered, before climbing into bed,
careful not to wake Luna. Sleep came easily that night, and
before Usagi knew it, her alarm clock was going off.
**
Usagi walked back into her apartment and dropped her school bag
down next to her kitchen table. Humming to herself, she reached
into the cupboard and pulled out a tin of cat food.
"You know I hate that stuff Usagi-san!" Luna exclaimed hopping
up onto the counter.
"And you know I don't like you standing on my counter. Now
shoo! You have to eat this, Luna." Usagi replied, opening the
can with her electric opener. After dumping the mushy food onto
a plate, Usagi set it on the floor and Luna heaved her delicate
feline shoulders.
"Eat up Luna, and I'll let you out to play with that little
white cat you like so much." Usagi teased. Luna sniffed and
held her head up snootily. Usagi laughed and grabbed her bag
before heading into her bedroom. Still humming to herself,
Usagi pulled a few text books out of her bag and tossed them on
the bed. She flopped down and began to read through the
assigned chapters.
"Well Luna, did you know that 'one out of five teenage girls
will be abused by their boyfriends'. Isn't that awful!" Usagi
exclaimed. She looked over at her cat, whom had made herself
quite comfortable on Usagi's window sill.
"Usagi-san, quit studying and get out for a bit." Luna said
suddenly. Usagi looked up in surprise and laughed.
"After all those years of telling me to study, your telling me
to go play?" Usagi asked. Luna peered seriously at Usagi, red
eyes clashing with blue.
"Usagi-san, I worry about you... You work too hard now." Luna
stood up and moved towards Usagi. Nuzzling her head agaisnt
Usagi's chin, Luna continued to speak. "You can't let that
weigh down on you for the rest of your life."
"Luna..." Usagi warned, tears threatening to fall at the mere
mention of the accident. "Luna please... I need to study."
Sighing, Luna leapt off the bed and left her charge alone.
"I don't know what to do about her, Artemis." Luna sighed.
"She's not the Usagi we used to know..."
"She's letting that one event ruin the rest of her life..."
Artemis replied.
"And it was an accident! A simple accident! It wasn't anyone's
fault. Minako made her own decision. " Luna hung her head, shiny
tears sliding through her fur.
"Minako was always head strong. She wouldn't have listened to
Usagi anyway." Artemis' voice faded to a quiet 'meow' as
someone rounded the corner.
A tall, dark haired man was approaching Usagi's door. He
knocked three times, and waited. A few seconds later, Usagi
opened the door.
"Hi."
"Hi, I live next door. My name is Chiba Mamoru. I was
wondering if I could borrow half a cup of sugar." The man
sighed. "I'm having a visitor from work and I was trying to
make some odango, but it's failing miserably."
"Odango?" She asked, moving into the kitchen. Mamoru
remained in the doorway.
"Yeah. It's my boss's client, and I lose my job if I lose
the client. Why is it that I'm telling you all of this?"
The man laughed.
"Because I'll come over and help you out." Usagi replied,
handing him a cup of sugar.
Luna, who had stepped in right behind the man, had heard
the entire conversation and was very startled be Usagi's
offer.
"Really?" The man's eyes widened. "You are a true angel!"
Usagi looked away as he said that.
"No, I'm not." She whispered, but the man had already headed
back to his apartment, so Usagi followed quickly.
**
"So your majoring in physics at UCLA?" Usagi asked.
"Yeah. What about you?" Mamoru asked.
"I'm doing psychology there." Usagi told him. The pair were
seated at his kitchen table waiting for the odango and drinking
coffee.
"Psych? Really? Then you should know Yuki. Tall, dark hair..."
"Yeah, she's in a few of my classes." Usagi nodded, flooded
by the feelings of disappointment.
"She's one of my best friends! She's dating another friend of
mine, Furuhata Motoki." Mamoru smiled. "They're practically
married."
"Yeah, I have a few friends like that." Usagi laughed.
"So where are you from? Usagi isn't a common name around
here."
"Neither is Mamoru." Usagi pointed out before answering.
"I moved here from Japan, not too long ago."
"Where in Japan?" Mamoru asked.
"Tokyo, the Juuban District."
"Really? I'm from the same area." Mamoru laughed. "So is
Motoki. Funny that we didn't know each other there."
"Yeah." Usagi smiled half-heartedly.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Mamoru asked.
"Nothing. It's okay." Usagi looked up at him, her eyes filled
with pain.
"It's okay, Usagi. You can tell me."
"It's... It's just talking about Japan... It reminds me of
why I left."
"And why's that."
"I.. I lost a friend. Someone very close to me... It was
my fault, and... We were close, almost like sisters. We
even looked alike..." Usagi shook her head. "I don't really
want to talk about it."
"Okay, I understand."
There were a few moments of awkward silence before Mamoru
spoke again.
"How come I've never seen you around campus before?" Mamoru
asked.
"I don't spend much time there, except in classes or in
the library." Usagi told him. She stood up and went to
peek into the oven.
"You don't do anything extra curricular? No clubs? Nothing?"
Mamoru looked surprised.
"Nope. Too busy with the work load."
"But half the fun of university is the socializing. Tell
me your at least going to the frat party tomorrow night."
Usagi shook her head and picked the oven mitts up from his
counter.
"Why not? It's a Friday night, so you can catch up on all
your homework Saturday and Sunday."
"I'm just not that interested. I don't know that many
people around, and..." Usagi's voice trailed off and she
shrugged.
"I'll take you, and introduce you to everyone." Mamoru
offered.
"No, that's okay."
"You helped me, so I'll help you. It's a fair exchange."
Mamoru pointed out.
"It's okay, really."
"What are you planning to do Friday night?" Mamoru asked.
"I have a paper due Monday." Usagi replied.
"Paper or party. Paper or party..." Mamoru looked
thoughtful for a minute. "So it's settled, I'll take
you to the party."
"But I..." Usagi began, but Mamoru interrupted her.
"I will not have a beautiful girl sitting alone at
home on a Friday night. It's settled."
Before Usagi could protest, the door bell rang. Mamoru
looked at the clock in shock.
"He's early!" Mamoru leapt up and grabbed a tie off the
counter, and quickly tied it around his neck before
grabbing his suit jacket and pulling it on. He ran a hand
through his hair before going to answer the door.
Before Usagi could react to anything, the oven timer went
off and she quickly shut it off. She pulled open the
oven door and took out the odango.
"Sano-san, it's a pleasure."
Usagi could hear Mamoru greet the man who had just
entered.
"You as well, Chiba-san. This is my wife Yuriko."
"It's nice to meet you." Mamoru spoke again.
"You as well." A soft voice murmered.
"If you'd like to have a seat, I'll bring something to
drink." Mamoru offered.
"That would be wonderful."
Mamoru re-entered the kitchen and look at Usagi.
"I don't know how I'm going to get you out of here
without them noticing." Mamoru told her. "It might..."
A shadow fell across the pair causing Mamoru to grow
silent. He slowly turned around to see Yuriko standing
in the doorway.
"Oh I'm sorry! I came to see if you needed any help.
I didn't realize your... girlfriend? was here." A
slight blush stained Yuriko's face.
"She was busy tending to dessert." Mamoru smiled a
dazzling smile. "Yes, this is Tsukino Usagi."
"Hello." Usagi smiled at the young woman. "I have
everything under control in here, if you'd like to
re-join your husband."
"Of course." Yuriko smiled and made a quick exit.
"Girlfriend?" Usagi asked, looking at Mamoru quizzically.
"Sorry. I have to keep the client happy." Mamoru grabbed
the tray he had set up with cups, sugar and milk. He quickly
poured four cups of coffee and picked the tray up.
"Come on." Mamoru nodded for Usagi to go first.
"Are you sure about this?" She asked.
"Don't have much of a choice now." He told her, then
smiled. "It'll be fun."
"Fun. Right.." Usagi muttered before pasting on a bright
smile and heading into the living room.
"I told you." Yuriko told her husband as Usagi walked in.
"So Chiba-san, you do have a girlfriend!" Sano-san laughed.
"I thought my wife was just so tired of having dinners with
all the single men I do business with. I must admit, it
is a nice change."
"I'm glad you think so. This is Tsukino Usagi." Mamoru
smiled politely.
"It's wonderful to meet you Tsukino-san."
"Usagi, please." She smiled. "Coffee?"
The evening flew by for Usagi. She hadn't allowed herself
to have that much fun in ages. Everytime she laughed or
smiled, she told herself it was only to help Mamoru, but she
knew she was lying. She was really enjoying herself.
"Thank you, Usagi. You saved me a lot of trouble by being
here." Mamoru smiled at Usagi who was elbow deep in bubbly
water.
"It was fun." She smiled a bit.
"Thanks anyway. You don't have to do the dishes. I'll do
them in a bit."
"It's okay, I'm almost done anyway." Usagi shrugged and
quickly rinsed the last of the dishes before setting them
in the drying rack. She dried her hands on a dish towel.
"Thanks."
"Your welcome." Usagi smiled. "I'd better get back to my
apartment. It's getting late."
"Sure." Mamoru smiled. "Do you want me to walk you?"
"Next door? No, I think I'll be fine." Usagi opened
the door.
"You know," Mamoru held the door as Usagi slipped her shoes
on. "I kind of liked the idea of you being my girlfriend."
Usagi looked up at him, shock written on her delicate
features.
"You hardly know me." She stood up.
"But I'd certainly like to get to know you." Mamoru
smiled. "Why don't we go to a movie or something
Saturday, and see what happens?"
"I... I dunno, Mamoru." Usagi looksed unsure.
"What's the worst that can happen?" Mamoru asked.
'I can have fun, like tonight.' Usagi thought. 'I can
start to enjoy myself, and forget the pain, forget my
grief...'
"Maybe." She replied, with a shy smile.
"Alright, you can tell me tomorrow after the party.
I'll pick you up at seven."
"Sure. Bye Mamoru."
"See you tomorrow Usagi."
**
True to his word, Mamoru was ringing her doorbell at
exactly 7 p.m. Usagi sighed and quickly ran her brush
though her hair. She was dressed in a simple blue slip
dress and had slipped on a pair of white sandals.
When she opened the door, Mamoru grinned at her.
"You look great!" He exclaimed.
"Thanks." She grabbed her purse and keys before stepping
out the door. "Shall we?"
**
"Hi Mamoru." Yuki grinned as Mamoru pulled a reluctant Usagi
into the frat house. It was only 7:30, and everything was
already in full swing.
"Hey Yuki! Motoki!" Mamoru greeted before weaving his
way towards them. He kept a firm grasp on Usagi's hand,
pulling her behind him.
"Whose that?" Motoki asked.
"Usagi." Usagi replied.
"How... quaint." Yuki smiled. "Really, that's adorable."
"Taken to robbing the cradle now, Mamoru? That desperate
for a date?" Motoki teased.
"Hey! She goes to our school. She can't be that young."
Mamoru shot back, with a grin. "Besides, I can't determine
with whom I fall in love!"
"Love? When did that come into the picture?" Usagi asked,
her blue eyes wide with mock astonishment.
"You mean you didn't know? Usagi, I love with all my
heart!" Mamoru declared. Usagi burst out laughing.
"Right..." Motoki laughed.
Mamoru smiled at the laughing blond, and decided that,
although they were only friends now, he was sure he
could love her. And he was fairly sure she could care
about him, if he could convince her to give him a chance.
"I do recognize you," Yuki spoke suddenly. "From...
psych 204?"
"Yeah." Usagi nodded.
"You know, she reminds me of Janet." Motoki suddenly
said. "They could be twins or something. They look
identical!"
"Your right." Mamoru nodded. "Same hair, same eyes,
even the same build."
"And they both look so sad..." Yuki mused.
"Whose Janet?" Usagi asked. "The only other person I've
been told I look a lot alike was..." She let her voice
trail off as a picture of Minako flittered into her head.
"Janet's friend of mine." Yuki replied. "You do bare a
startling resemblance to her."
The thought chilled Usagi , but before more could be
said on the subject, someone approached the group.
"Hi Mamoru..." A silky voice greeted.
"Hi Janet." Mamoru replied.
"Hey Janet." Yuki smiled at her friend and moved over on
the couch to make room for her. Janet didn't get as far
as the couch when Usagi looked up at her and gasped.
"Mi.. Minako?" She asked softly. That caught her
attention. Janet's blue eyes clashed with Usagi's
and her jaw fell open.
"Usa...?" She asked in disbelief.
"Minako. Minako-chan!" She nearly screamed. "Oh my god!
I thought you were dead! I thought I'd... We all thought..."
"Usa..." Minako repeated softly.
"Minako, we saw the building collapse... How is this
possible? How can you be alive?" Usagi asked, tears filling
her eyes. She ignored the inquisitive looks from the
other three.
"Usagi..." Minako glanced at Motoki, Yuki and Mamoru before
grabbing Usagi's arm. "Let's talk about this outside."
Usagi followed Minako outside onto the front lawn. She
looked at the blond and waited for Minako to speak.
"Usagi, first of all, I want you to know that I care about
you. You are my best friend, you always have been, and what
I did had nothing to do with you."
"All this time, Minako. We thought you were dead. I blamed
myself..."
"I never wanted that, Usagi! I never wanted anyone to
blame themself. I needed out! I couldn't take it anymore.
I couldn't lie to my parents, and everyone I met. I never
wanted to be a senshi. First, it was kind of fun, catching
the bad guys in England. I was a teen idol." Minako paused.
"It got too serious in Japan, Usa. People were getting hurt,
getting killed! Too much was resting on our shoulders, and
I was afraid I would let you down."
"Minako, we all had fears. We all were afraid of what destiny
had dealt us, but we had each other. You didn't have to fake
your own death! You should have talked to us. We would have
understood, I would have understood." Usagi peered into
Minako's eyes. "For weeks after the building had collapsed
we were all a wreck. I should have stayed behind in the
building. It should have been me who was in there when it
collapsed. Not you. And when we searched, we couldn't even
find your body. I couldn't live with myself..."
Usagi's voice trailed off and she choked back tears.
"And all this time you've been alive..."
Minako stared up at the stars and spoke quietly.
"I'd understand if you hated me, Usagi."
"Minako... I could never hate you." Usagi told her. "No
matter what."
"Why are you here?" Minako asked after a few moments of
silence had passed.
"After you... left, we fell apart. We couldn't deal with
the grief. We all went our seperate ways, and I ended up at
UCLA." Usagi replied.
"Like destiny, we found each other again." Minako mused.
"Minako, will you tell the others?" Usagi asked suddenly.
"Will you let them know you are okay?"
Minako looked at Usagi with tear filled eyes.
"You can't ask me to do that."
"Why not? They deserve to know you are alright. They care
about you! We all do! Minako, they need to know. You don't
have to go back, just tell them ypi are alive."
"I'm.. I'm afraid. What if they hate me? Reject me? How
could I live with myself then?" Minako asked, sobbing.
"Minako, do I hate you? Did I reject you?" Usagi asked
softly. "Minako, they care about you too much. Please."
Usagi held out a small pink communicator, and Minako stared
at it for a long moment before taking it from her hand.
"Are you sure?" She asked, and Usagi nodded. Minako took
a deep breath before pushing the all call button.
"Minna? Sailor Venus here...."
***
The end.
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