Mine
Usagi-chan
Usagi@lunap.com
http://hop.to/minako_usagi
Standard Disclaimer applies.
Mamoru stood on his balcony glaring
angrily into the night. His eyes sought out
the full moon shining brightly in the night
sky, shining like she didn't have a care in
the world.
He could feel the hate building up
in his body. Irrational hate directed at
the moon, just for reminding him of her.
Hate directed at the pot of roses next to
him, because they reminded him of her too.
"Dammit. Dammit Usako. Why don't
you understand?" He muttered softly, under
his breath. "Why don't you get it? Why
can't you see?"
But of course he couldn't expect
her to. How was anyone supposed to see
past his facade? And he tried so hard to
hide it from her. It wasn't fair of him
to expect her to know.
Mamoru closed his eyes against the
pain, trying to shut it out. It was a futile
gesture. The pain was buried deep within his
heart and there was nothing he could do about
it. There was only one way to relieve it,
and he was far too scared.
"Usako..." The whisper was full of
pain and tenderness.
Mamoru opened his eyes, and again
found his attention focused on the moon.
Something seemed to draw him to it.
"What do you want me to do?" He
asked softly, gazing at the moon. "What
would you have me do? Do you understand?
Do you know the pain of wanting the one
thing you haven't got?"
Mamoru sighed and ran a hand through
his hair. He turned away from the moon, and
stepped back into his apartment.
He paused as he was sliding the glass
door shut, and glanced at the moon once more.
It was full and bright, smiling down at him.
It seemed to sympathize with him, what he was
going through. It seemed to share his pain.
"I want her to be mine. I want her
to love me..." Mamoru sighed. "God, I'm such
a fool to believe she could ever care. Even
in the dead of night, it's not conceivable."
Mamoru locked the door and turned away.
**
Seated in one of the corner booths at
the arcade, Mamoru had a prime view of the doors.
He held a thick text book in his hands, and he
occasionally flipped a page. His eyes pretended
to read the chapter, but his mind didn't even
try to understand any of it.
The doors flew open and Usagi whirled in.
Mamoru sighed and put the book down. He knew
from experience that there was no use even
pretending to study now.
"God Usako..." He whispered softly. He
could feel his love for her building up in his
heart, like a storm. All at the mere sight of her.
What would it be like to touch her? To
hold her? To kiss her? Just one kiss...
'Forget it Mamoru! She doesn't think
about you. She doesn't care about you!' Mamoru
silently berated himself. 'She doesn't even care
that you exist.'
The truth of the statement brought tears
to his eyes, and Mamoru shut his eyes, willing them
away.
'Please, oh please.' He thought as he
stood up to leave, textbook in one hand. 'Please,
Usako. See past it, see past it all. Take away
my pride, my dignity! I don't care. Just let me
be with you.'
Mamoru glanced at her as he walked past
her to leave the arcade. His eyes were moist with
tears, and she looked up at the last instant to see.
Their eyes met briefly before he turned away,
stepping through the automatic doors of the arcade.
'She doesn't know.' He thought. 'She can't
see it.'
He had stood before her, everything he felt
for her naked in his eyes, and she didn't see it.
She was completely clueless.
Mamoru's hand began to squeeze his textbook
tightly, his knuckles turning white. He was dying
on the inside, and there was nothing he could do
to stop it.
He paused, and turned to lean his back
against the cold cement of one of the buildings.
He leaned his head against the wall, and shut
his eyes.
Tears fell unbidden from his eyes, despite
his best efforts to keep them at bay. It was
useless. Everything was just so utterly useless.
"Mam.. Mamoru-san?" A soft voice asked.
Mamoru's eyes shot open and he found himself
staring into Usagi's nervous eyes. Quickly he reached
up to try to wipe the tears away, to hide any traces
of them from her.
"Look, I may be totally crazy and reading into
things that aren't even there, but..." She paused to
take a deep breath before plunging on. "But I love you,
Mamoru. I loved you day one, and everyday I love you
more. I don't know what you think about all this,
or if you even care, but I had to let you know."
Tears were filling her delicate blue eyes
as she looked up at him, pouring her heart out
to him.
"I couldn't just let my life go by feeling
the pain of wanting you so badly, and not try to
do anything about it. I... I just had to let
you know. I'm sorry..." Her gaze fell from his
face in shame as he looked at her in disbelief.
"Usa..." Was all Mamoru could get out
before he was holding her in his arms, his mouth
pressed against hers.
Usagi was rigid with shock before she
slowlt melted against him, her arms snaking up
and around him.
Her mind was reeling. She couldn't
believe this was happening. She had barely
said the words, and she had been sure Mamoru
was going to laugh at her. But here she was,
exactly where she wanted to be, in his arms.
"Mamo-chan..." She breathed against
his neck as he held her tightly.
"Usako... I love you..." He whispered
against her hair. "And your mine..."
AN: Very brief and written at a crazy late hour.
I should be studying or sleeping. I have to
work tomorrow, too. I'm not too sure what anyone
is going to think about this, but I majorly
owed something to everyone who has been waiting so
patiently, so here ya go!
June 2000
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