By L. Howell Disassociated Press

After several failed mergers and government bailouts, Japanese banks are now turning to other pillars of the national economy to bolster two decades of bad loans. Many of the nation's remaining financial institutions have given up on one another, wedding their resources with fast food outlets to shoulder the burden.

S.M.B., formerly Sakura Bank, formerly Sumitomo Mitsubishi, will now be S.M. Burgers, while Mizuho is considering a merger with Mos Burger, although the name is still in dispute.

"They want us to become Mo's Hos," said bank chairman, Takashi Tekawaruku. "I don't think so."

Prime Minister Koizumi is a staunch supporter of this new trend, claiming that it's a reform he's had in mind from the start.

"I think it is very convenient. Customers will be able to do their banking and eat at the same time. This will make our work force more efficient, they won't be stretching their lunch breaks to pay bills. It also solves the problem of guaranteeing deposits with cash. If something goes wrong with a citizen's money. He or she will will have their deposits guaranteed with a variety of tasty and easy to consume dishes."

Many of the nation's citizens, however, are not so enamored with this new form of currency. Bribery scandals are already beginning to rear their ugly heads. "Just last week, I heard that a diet members are already getting lucrative amounts of chili fries vouchers from a certain construction company," said Masaki Miyamoto, an office worker in downtown Tokyo.

Nevertheless, proponents are staunch in their support, citing that unlike the original guaranteed bank deposits of yore, depositors at the new institutions stand to gain a substantial amount of interest through 'super-sizing.'