Steven Ngapo
Cliff Richard: You old dog!!! Get out of here!!! hahaha
After the termination of little Steve's television career, Steve landed on his feet, when he was taken under the wing of long-time family friend Cliff Richard. Cliff presented Steven with his first ever musical instrument, a pair of tin cans taped together in a crude facsimile of a pair of bongos, in return for Steven's promise of silence regarding certain matters of indiscretion. Steve quickly displayed a natural talent in the art of rhythm instruments, something he has often attributed to "[his] spiritual (and, quite possibly, actual) ancestors , the Zulu tribesmen of Africa, running around banging on enemies' skulls and toads and whatnot with boomerangs".
Steve, eyes full of dreams of musical stardom
The gifted boy now applied himself full time to his new passion, quickly mastering the cans in a matter of months, and progressing to the practise drum, before moving past the maracas and the kettle drums (or 'honky skins', as the artist likes to call them) to attain the lofty title of 'percussionist'. Steve was quickly snatched up by local music movers-and-shakers the 'Tasman Brass Band", with whom he toured extensively.
Stevie : Also known as Steve Ngapo, and not blind. The 'wonder' moniker is self-explanatory
Steve soon assumed artistic control of the group (now known as "Funky Steve's Maxx-out Krew"), penning tracks and perfecting his patented technique of 'bongo-talk', whereby the bongo enthusiast creates the illusion of human speech through deft manipulation of the skins (usually, something like "bong bonga bong bong pif", although at one legendary performance in the 'Te Puke Hotel and Poetry corner', Steve reportedly recreated a Scandinavian voice intoning "siebab tae dna natas ot luos ruoy lles" to gob-smacked onlookers. It is worth noting that my correspondent on the matter was wearing a Cannibal Corpse vest at the time, and thought I was Mikey Havoc (of the band 'PUSH PUSH') due to his complete inability to focus at the time.).
Steve, responding to audience calls to "show us your brown bits"