Peter-Bowman looked at the ringing phone. He had of course seen other people talking on the phone before, even occasionally allowed passersby to use the phone in his phone box. It may seem odd for a person who has spent so much time living in a phone box, but Peter-Bowman has never actually used a phone. He bent down and sniffed it. It continued to ring. Peter-Bowman looked around at his Garfields, but they had long since given up on advising him. He tapped the hand set gingerly. He was sure that this was the bit that you used. Exactly what to do with it he was not certain. Peter-Bowman picked up the phone. Immediately the ringing stopped. Peter-Bowman was so pleased by this turn of events that he replaced the hand set and began to make a cup of tea. The phone began to ring again.

Peter-Bowman blinked. Clearly there was more to it than he had expected. Again he lifted the hand set. He sniffed it. While holding his head close to the hand set, he noticed that a voice was coming out of it. 'Hello,' said the voice.

'Hello,' said Peter-Bowman. He was always a very polite man, no matter what the circumstances. He did not feel at all odd at being polite to a disembodied voice. He giggled. Things were looking up for Peter-Bowman. He manoeuvred[[[ the hand set until he had the bit where the voice came out close to his ear.

'Hello, I'm looking for Peter-Bowman,' said the voice. 'My name is Claire, and I have something I really need to say to him.'

'That's my name,' said Peter-Bowman happily. It was a little unfortunate that he was holding the hand set upside down such that although he could hear perfectly, the only sound travelling the other way was the sound of Peter-Bowman's hair as it gradually grew longer. This was not the sort of confirmation the voice wanted.

'Look, I haven't much time. I just need Peter-Bowman to hear this song. I hope that you're listening Peter.' And so it was that Claire began to play her song.

I have been waiting for this moment for some time. I have been dying to hear what sort of song it could be that would immediately get Peter-Bowman to complete his work of life. I've even got a tape recorder handy to tape it so that I could listen to it a couple of times, maybe even put it on a CD. Are you ready to hear Claire's song? Well then, let's listen.

Ah. Hmm. I see. It's in French. Here's the thing. I don't speak French. This essentially means that I am unable to tell you much about the song at all. What it was about, for example. Or even what the words were. It did have a very catchy tune, I can tell you that much. You should perhaps try listening very hard. Maybe if you speak French you can pass it on to me at some stage? I would like to know what it was about. Very much. I think I can guess how Claire did it. That long cleaning session in Anton's apartment. I was foolish in allowing him to be a French speaker. Peter-Bowman of course speaks French very well. Did I ever mention that Auntie Em's full name was in fact Emma Rouault? I borrowed her from Flaubert before he could go on and use her so shamefully. I saved Emma from that life and death. In return, she taught Peter-Bowman to speak French, her native tongue. It seemed like a good deal at the time. So it seems that Claire has managed to transmit her song to Peter-Bowman without me being able to do anything about the content. I can only hope that this turns out to be a good thing. I have no control over what happens anymore.

Claire has now finished playing her song. Peter-Bowman is looking rather startled. 'Did you hear that Peter?' asked Claire. Peter-Bowman nodded. Claire hang up, in the hope that the call had gone unnoticed. Peter-Bowman stood still for a very long time. Then he began to fiddle with the phone.

Peter-Bowman replaced the hand set and examined the unit. It all seemed to make a lot of sense to him now. He made a rather rude gesture at the Garfields. They pretended not to notice. The phone was yellow. Rather stained in places from overly emotional phone calls. Essentially yellow. Peter-Bowman did not laugh at the fact that the phone was yellow. He began to press the buttons in an orderly manner. Without lifting the hand set first. Eventually he flicked the coin return button and vanished in a puff of smoke.