The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling tired and convinced him to do the service for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Rev. Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his Parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Rev. Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
There was these three minister buddies out in the middle of the lake fishing one day, and one started to get introspective. He turned to the others and said "ya know we are always listening and praying for other peoples problems, but don't really have anyone to tell our secret sins and problems to...seeing we're friends and out here in the middle of the lake with no one around, why don't we confess up to one another?"
To which the second one said "yes that's right...okies i'll share that i still have a smoking problem...i sneak out behind the church and take a few puffs..."
The others had an astonished look on their faces, but comforted the second pastor. The first one pipes up again and says "yes, I too have a secret sin...i drink a lot of the communial wine when no ones around..."
Again an astonished look filled the boat...then the first two turned towards the third one who was very quiet and asked what does he have to confess up to?
To which he gleefully replied.."i got this problem with gossip, and CAN'T WAIT TILL I GET ON THE PHONE!!!"