Death Machine is a low-budget flick. I won’t kid you on that. It’s verrrry low budget.

And the story isn’t much to talk about, either.

But understand this: It knows its limitations and downfalls and accepts them. Then it jumps over them to have a shit-load of fun with what it has.

Ely Pouget is brought in to try and sway public opinion of the CHAANK corporation, which the masses believe is doing shit it shouldn’t be doing. CHAANK is currently run by Richard Brake (Doom). He knows what’s actually going down, but in order to stay alive, he keeps his mouth shut.

Oh, I’m sorry. Did I not mention that Brad Dourif is their main source of tech? And that he’s bat-shit insane? And that if anyone crosses him that they end up dead? From apparent shark attacks? In a skyscraper?

Well, no problem, cuz Pouget doesn’t know that, either. Yet.

I think we’ll get back to him, later.

So, the bitch starts throwing her weight around and trying to get rid of Dourif. Things go horribly wrong, as Dourif reveals exactly what he’s been building in his super-secret vault.

And there’s also some guys breaking into the headquarters to … They’re the good guys. I’ll leave it at that.

I haven’t told you much, have I? And that’s because I think more people need to actually see this film. I fucking love it. It’s one I got as a screener when I worked at a video store.

Let’s go through why it’s worth your time:

I said the story wasn’t all that great, but the writing is fucking hilarious and well thought out. (See above quote.) These filmmakers didn’t just have a basic outline and then get some money to do what they could. They really thought everything through and then tried to get as much cash as they could to bring this idea to reality.

The acting is somewhat over the top, but acceptable for what kind of movie it is. It’s a “giant robot that kills people” movie. The only truly bad actor was Pouget. I don’t know why she was cast. Richard Brake gives great acting, Dourif kills, William Hootkins rocks and John Sharian makes a perfect hero. And everyone else is fine, as well. Just don’t understand why a walking, talking piece of shit like Pouget is stuck right in the middle of all this fun. Don’t get me wrong, though. I’d fuck her if she offered, I’d just ask her to not try to “act” like she was enjoying it.

The camera work was also quite good.

And the sets and FX were goddamn amazing. The “Death Machine” looked great.

All of this is based on budget. But this group of people kicked total ass.

Oh, and let’s take a look at some character names:
Jack Dante: This crazy fuck works in the lowest parts of the building. It looks sorta like hell. Hmmm..
John Carpenter: Umm…Yeah.
Sam Raimi: Ok.
Yutani and Weyland: Flip those two around and you have the name of the corporation from Alien.
Scott Ridley: And if you reverse that, you have the director of Alien.

And if you look at Dante’s character, he’s sorta like that kid from Grandma’s Boy, only he’s psycho and can create a psycho-death-bot to kill your fucking ass. He wears the trench and is really good with comps.

Speaking of Dante: He watches endless loops of porn and cartoons. He has a shitload of toys and porn. Damn, he’s just like me. Only, I don’t have access to be able to make a psycho-death-bot. That bastard shit-wad!

Guys, I haven’t told you much about this movie. But it’s worth it. I’m looking into getting the extended/widescreen cut. I think it’s a Canadian release. If you can find a shitty regular cut, though, snatch it up.

H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S. Rating:
- Brad Dourif makes any party fun!

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