At 32 years of age (soon to be 33) I’ve witnessed many films come and go. The good, the bad and the horrible. Yet nothing has so terrified me as the sheer horror of Doom House.

The story centers on Reginald P. Linux, whose wife has died. Linux has found his dream home and things are looking up. But dark forces are at work in his happy home. There’s a strange little doll that constantly pops up in places it shouldn’t be, tormenting him to near the point of insanity. Not knowing what to do, he calls in the police to aid in his supernatural problem. The officer advises him to leave, but Linux will have none of it. And then things get really horrifying.

Doom House is a nerve-wracking and unrelenting experience in grueling and bloody balls to the wall horror.

Just kidding.

Actually, this short film is one of the most hilarious purposefully incompetent things ever made. I found out about it at www.somethingawful.com , which is run by the crazy fucks that made this short. And you can order a special edition DVD, which blows my goddamn mind.

Apparently, the two guys that made this must love crap just as much as we here at the Tomb do. Obviously, they’ve seen their fair share of shot on video shit-fests and set out to out-shit the shittiest shit that has ever been shat. (Anyone need to use the bathroom, yet?)

They have blatant continuity errors throughout and even tackle the “spring-loaded-cat” phenomenon, only this time the cat is just kinda hanging out in the closet wondering why in the hell somebody put it in the closet. The acting is over the top. Hell it’s out of the fucking atmosphere. They directly ripped music from another film and nothing makes that much sense. Brings back memories of Last Slumber Party and Night of Horror, for me.

However, it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in years. Just wait until the “officer of the law” shows up. That’s when things really get nuts.

And be sure to check it out on IMDB and read everything there. The reviews, trivia and all that shit. Classic!

So, as there is not much to really say, except “Watch it, you silly fucks!”, here’s my half-ass attempt at a drinking game that is sure to put you into a coma:

Doom House Drinking Game
Drink every time:
1) You spot a continuity error.
2) Anyone says “doom” “house” or “doom house”
3) Anytime the doll is shown.
4) Anytime you see the cat.
5) Anytime the cop says “Hey”

And that’s all you need to kill yourself, boys and girls. Dead in 15 minutes. (If anyone actually tries this game, here’s my disclaimer: WARNING! DO NOT TRY TO ACTUALLY DO THIS, AS YOU MAY DIE, YOU MORON!)