That's right. Nix has got some dirty little secrets he's about to share with the public.

While taking film classes, I created two official shorts that were shot on Super-8, cut by hand (no fucking computers, thank you) and synced to the music by carefully trimming the film to match up.

You will not be seeing either of those, today. No no no. What YOU get is raw, unedited footage from an uncompleted film that I decided to have synced to music. Sound like fun? You poor fools.

I'd like to start with giving you background as to what in the hell this is all supposed to mean or be related to, but first I will give it the Nix treatment.

Damn! This is way over-exposed! The whites just jump out of the screen and physically attack my retinas. And what the fuck is going on? I'm watching somebody make a movie and that's the goddamn movie? You're kidding! No, you're not kidding. I'm actually watching someone make a movie and that's the fucking movie. Good god. Why's that guy prancing throughout the woods and wearing a beach-towel? Who's the attractive woman in the bathtub with flippers? What the fuck is up with the shadow puppetry? What IS this stupid mess?

So, yeah. It's a big mess of nothing with a great soundtrack. Good job, Nix!

I do think the movie, un-edited but with good music is actually kinda funny. I've shown it to friends for years. But there's no story.

Here's the deal: I wrote a full script about a carrot that was to become a god and he had a helper that was an educated porpoise that really ran the show. Then there was the fool they chose to be the "devil" and he was Bernie the Devilled Egg. You follow that logic?

What you're seeing are the inner workings of Bernie's mind. His fantasies, which were to be intercut with the actual story proper. The chick with the clap-board is an ex-girlfriend of mine and was never intended to be in the film. The chick with the nice breasts in the bathtub wearing flippers was a lady I met in writing class. She was cool as shit, said she loved my script and agreed to be dressed as an educated porpoise. She totally got the character and it's a shame I never finished it. She would have been great. (And I was sexually attracted to her, as well. Anyway...) Bernie was played by my very good friend from high school. He actually went out and bought that sweat-suit for this shoot. I provided the towels for his belly and cape. But look at him shove his face into that dogwood tree and pretend to love doing it! What a fucking guy. And then, I made him do it a second time! Then I forced him to skip through the woods. God, I miss that guy.

So, without it being completed, I put it to a song that I can't use, because of copyright issues. Thankfully, my friend Spawn is quite the talent with Acid. (Not the drug, the music program.) So I gave this to him and he really put a lot of effort into it. ROCK AND ROLL DUCK, BITCHES!

And the shadow puppets? Ok, I'm gonna get all deep and shit. It used to be that people were entertained by shadow plays. Light and dark. And if you look at black and white film it sort of carries over.

I'm just fucking with you. The original song I used ran long and I had nothing, so I stuck my hand in front of the projector to fill the time.

Or maybe I'm fucking with you, now. You'll never know, will you?

*ahem* So, it's crap. It's not even a real movie or short. It's un-cut footage put to some good music. But I think it works, somewhat, knowing what it is.