I could write this review from memory, I’ve seen this movie so many times. Some of you may have heard of it, but most people never got a chance to see it. Freaked was one of those movies where a major studio accepts the script, allows it to be made and then decides it’s not worth giving a proper release. Sorta like Office Space. They try to bury the fucker and forget it existed. And Office Space (even before the Special Edition, or whatever) was consistently the top selling DVD from that particular studio (my phone is fucked, so I can‘t do the proper research, deal with it) years after its original release. Now, Freaked didn’t achieve that (mainly because it was buried even more and only played “art house” theaters for a weekend), but it does have a sizable following.

The original title was Hideous Mutant Freekz. I can just hear the suits at the studio going “Hmmm. Hideous? Won’t that turn off the 30-40 demographic? We need a new title. Bob? What do you think?” “How about Odd Looking People? That’s friendly, isn’t it?” “Yes, Bob. Yes! Here’s 40 thousand dollars for hookers, cocaine and, well, more hookers.”

My first experience with this movie was reading “Gorezone”, the sister mag to “Fangoria”, which delved more into foreign and underground horror films. God, I miss that mag. Fango has just sold the fuck out. Anyway, they ran interviews and set visits and make-up reports. And it just sounded like a hell of a lot of fun.

Then the movie snuck into a few theaters with little to no advertising.

I woke in the afternoon and ate a ham sandwich with a Mr. Pibb to wash it down. Then I took I-44 to 270 because I really wanted to roll it around in my head that I WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!! I arrived at the theater 6 hours early to get a feel for the….. Oh, shit. Wrong website. Sorry. Just a little film-geek inside joke.

Actually, me and my then fiancé went to the local art house, called the Tivoli. Great theater that covers a wide range of flicks. Glad they’re still around. As soon as the opening credit sequence rolled, we both looked at each other and said “Where’s the acid when you need it”? Already, I knew I was in for a treat.

So, what, exactly is Freaked about?

Ricky Coogin (Alex Winter) is a Hollywood star, who accepts the role of promoting a chemical called Zygrot-24 for the EES corporation (That would be Everything Except Shoes). His friend Ernie (Michael Stoyanov) tags along and they meet up with a hot little protester (Megan Ward) that wants to pelt Rick with shit for promoting the toxic fertilizer. He tricks her for a bit, but gives away who he is. For some reason, all 3 decide to visit a “Freek” show run by Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid), but instead of seeing mutations, Skuggs turns them into the freaks by using the Zygrot-24. Now, surrounded by The Bearded Lady (Mr. T), Sockhead (Bobcat Goldthwait) and Ortiz The Dog Boy (Keanu Reeves) and more, they have to find a way to escape and stop Skuggs from having them all killed and Zygrot-24 going out to cause more mutations.

That description does nothing to tell you what the experience of actually watching the movie is like. Think of Airplane mixed with Gremlins, or something. There are so many gags and little things that you catch. The performances are perfect. You haven’t lived until you hear Randy Quaid say “Styrofoam cup” in a suspicious way.

And the FX. Holy shit! They had all of the top names for prosthetics at the time involved. Again, my internet is down, but there were 3 or 4 FX houses that helped make this happen.

The writing is great and they really pulled off a lot with a somewhat limited budget.

I can’t tell you how much fun this is to watch, you have to see it for yourself.

Thankfully, that’s pretty easy to do, as they released a fantastic Special 2-disc Edition, last year. I’d already worn out my VHS copy, so was thrilled to get this. There’s tons, just fucking tons of extra shit on here.

Did you notice the name Alex Winter? Any idea who he is? Yeah, he’s Bill from the Bill and Ted flicks. Yes, the more talented actor. You could, if you were a film snob, actually take the story and tie it into how no matter how talented to you are, if you aren’t Keanu-looking, you’re fucked. But I’m not a film snob. I’m a lover of crazy, fun and well-made films. And this is one of my favorites.

Winter had shot and starred in some short films that I’d caught on bootlegs, so I knew this film had to have the same manic energy and pure love for insanity. And they actually include a couple shorts on Disc 2, the most important being Squeal of Death. (I’m a little tea pot!) Plus, you have deleted scenes, a full read through, behind the scenes, commentary, trailers. Holy fuck, this is gold!

Did I mention Brooke Shields, Bill Sadler, Morgan Fairchild and Larry “Bud” Melvin are in it, too?