Letter to the Director, dated Last Monday (sic):

"To O.E.K. [read: 'Our Esteemed King'], As you indubitably may or may not recall, we, your ever-submissive and not-worthy staff is mainly composed of ethically challenged ex-Statsi, GPU, NSA, Chilean Armed Forces intelligence functionaries and their ilk. So would it not seem odd to Your Majesty if we, of all folks, could not find a sex link between investigation subjects mouse and monkey-boy? So! Anyway -- we recently picked up a rogue signal emitted from somebody's microwave in Thailand about the same time those two unspeakable maledictors were hanging out there; which, with His Highness's permission, we reprint below: