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What follows is a email fight that occurred over a box of Nillia Wafers. |
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Ok,
This weekend I bought a box of NILLA wafers to help lift my
spirits. Don't ask. anyway they are truely a delightful snack. Since i
do not have enough left to send each of you your own NILLA wafer, who
ever answers the following question Correctly and/or First (in the
case of a tie), shall recieve a NILLA wafer in the mail courtesy of
the Bruce Corporation. Now, before I state the question i would
like to refresh a few memories. Last year in a simillar senario i
posed a question and a Canadian won. Despite the many requests I
recieved to ban Canadian's from my litarary contests, they will have
the same opportunities as all Americans. I would also like to point
out that the following persons shall be recieving a NILLA wafer
regardless of their answers due to the fact that they were not
included on my list of power animals.---
A.J.
Nick
Alison
Guin.
For once wining has accomplished something. be proud. ok the question:
What is Adam Sandler's first line in "Billy Madison"?
this should be a sinch for a few of you. good luck and may my power
animal guide you in your quest for the NILLA wafer.
Bruce
Power Animal this week = Tom Kern. Congrats Tom.
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Well I would like to answer this trivia
question but since i am Jose's roomate, I apparently rank lower then
canadians in this damned survey. I would answer but he stole the
tape. Little bastard...I dont need to answer any stupid ass
questions I can steal his NILLA wafers any damn time I want.
Whose Your daddy now...
Whose House?.....KERN'S HOUSE!!!
Kern
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Bruce,
WAAAA...I am now licking each wafer
individually. How does that make you feel? I feel damn
empowered. Your power animal dosent have shit. I will go
to sleep after you do since I know you sleep like a little bitch.
Oh yeah when i'm done licking the wafers..i'm, gonan give them to
Melinda for safe keeping. Now how does that make you feel?
KErn
The man wid da wafers
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WAA? that is the best you could do.
serious, grow up. why do you have to lick the wafers? did you eat
paint chips? then melinda, that is just out of line. you are not
hangin out with the Chucky Cheese Mouse anymore.
Bruce
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Dude, thats fucking weak. Chucky cheese?
what the shit is that? He's my uncle that makes it ok. By
the way what the hell was with those braids you had with the school
girl outfit you wore? ..Freak..ity scared the hell outta me,
especially when you insisted on skipping to class. Pansy.
I am banishing you to RT duty next time he is around. By the way
anyone who wants to know the answer to the NILLA wafer contest mail
me. I will send the answer so you can get your pre licked
wafer...but you have to gimme half for helping.
KeRN
What the fuck was that?
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Hey, i like the outfit and the braids
completed the onsombel. and i was not skipping. i don't skip in a
dress. not that i wear dresses. damn. ok anyway for those of you
still participating in the contest all the wafers will be new,
"Unused" wafers. kern will not have licked them. i was
just trying to share the greatness of the NILLA wafer with
everyone when psyco child jumped in. i am now leaving to go buy him
some ST. John's Wort. Anything to calm him down for that
fact.Kern, if you are reading this, BITE ME.
Bruce
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Bite me? dude youneed some new
material..its like talking to....HOLY SHIT YOU STINK..
KE...
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Well
once again there has a been an email fling and where was I ? Not in
front of my computer like I normally am, no I was out tonight (sadly
at work sorry to get your hopes up)..... ok time for a little power
animaling....
sssssssllllllllliiiiiiiiiddddddddeeeeeeeee
Scott,
Could you be any more of a whinney little bitch? I mean good god is it
that hard for you to go down to fry's and get your own box of Nillia
wafers? I mean come on, I see that A.j. is now on the list of
Power Animals... I'm guessing he got your spot. Quit whinning
and get on with your life.
Bruce,
DUDE!!! you should know better then to buy snacks and proclaim to have
them when my brother is with in a 100 mile radius... and after how
scott described how he viloated the waffers just keep them please...
Oh
and to answer the question I believe the first line in Billy Madison
by Adam Sandler is *sound of a penquin* I don't know how to spell it
but that is how I would do it.
Tom
Nick
is my power Animal.
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I STINK? that was so you. open the door.
Bruce
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No way man..that was you.. I am now
asking for the help of my power animal AJ..dude help a brother out
here. Bruce crack a window it stinks in here
You know who i am by now...
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| HEY I"M LICKING ALL OF THE NEW WAFERS YOU JUST BOUGHT! HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? |
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...those aren't wafers...dude?
Bruce
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| They are too wafers! What are they?..Did you eat yourself retarded? |
| For those of you who were
concerned about the "smell" We just opened our
dishwasher for the first time in a week. Sorry for the inconvience. US
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WE ARE NOW FINISHED. THANK YOU.
THE EVIL US'S (KERN AND BRUCE)
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>ok,,,, first things first..... Im not the most massive Nilla Wafer fan in the world.... But for fucks sake,,,,Kern at least let mine dry out before I am to recieve it. Tom.... leave your brother alone,,,, your older, and expected to be the fall-guy in fights. Im gonna have to side with Scott on this one,,,, You folks from
Flagstaff are nothing but trouble,,,with a capital T.
Besides....arent you on your Cell ,,,with that girl that wont date
you,,,about now? I dont get it.... she wont go out
with you,,,,, but she will call you in the middle of the night....
What the fuck is that? Bruce,,,, you seem to be taking heat from the PolarBear overseas. Nick,,,,this is a message to you my friend... I am glad that Bruce amended his power animal list...for my name was also neglected on the first round. (makes me feel like I got picked last for dodgeball) I do however feel sorry for the likes of Lenny,,,Gunner,,,and others who will wake up in the morning to 50 archived messages on their account.. Fucking sucks to be them. A.J. P.S. Any problems????? You neo maxied zoomed weebie
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| Sweet Mother Mary above. I
checked my mail on Friday night, and it seems
that in the last 30 hours or so I've been fortunate enough to receive 24 new messages, 17 from Kern or Bruce directly. I certainly hope you've all blown your respective wads, and realize that if I ever come home and see 24 new messages, only 4 of which I've had the patience to read, I will NOT mail any of you a Nilla waifer, but rather a paper baggie in a bow that has a switch on it, so when you open the box the botom falls out and the bag ignights. Kern and Bruce, if I had the energy right now, I'd swear on the acting carrer of Screech from "Saved by the Bell" that I would seek my revenge on you....but I don't feel like it right now.....especially since I'm poor and the postage on a contraption that would pop a waterbaloon on you when you opened it would be alot; like $2. I don't really blame anyone else for TWENTY-FOUR messages, but still (yes, I know that makes this 25) am I the only one here who wants to see justice sock it to the offenders? tell me what you think: call 1-800-96-Jerry, and tell us about it. oh, and it seems the new Disneyland Park has a problem with one of the rides almost killing people. go on that ride first- before they close it for being "too dangerous" or somehting whiny like that. remember, kids, if its cool enough to almost kill someone, then its cool enough you need to make it yours. now all of you go buy $10 katanas on E-bay. Lock up your women and your lemurs. On second though, we can get women anywhere, lock up the lemurs! Gunner del Ghetto
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| SHUT
UP.
ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP. I mean come one. Don't you think this went a little too far. you guys are in the same freakin' apartment. As entertainin as it was don't you think that it would have been easier to just yell instead of emailing each other insults? Good crimminy. And thank you A.J. for the thought. You were completely right. And hey, i do have a real email address that i'm pretty sure you all have already. its there for a reason. use it. kinney@ixpres.com
Oh ya, his name was Billy. I want my nilla covered in easy cheese for compensation for having to slog through all those pointless emails. By the By. Welcome
back to the land of the living Nick. In case anyoune cared, Dammon
is here in Miramar. I ran into him at the chow hall last
week.
Lenny Viciously awaiting his week to be power animal so he can use Bruce for the powers of evil and world domination.
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| Wrong Lenny,
way wrong. that was not even close to the first line. nice try though.
Bruce When Lenny is my power animal i am locking myself in my room
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We have a winner folks!
A special congradulatons goes out to...MATT!
MATT WON THE WAFER!
the line was "Sun tan lotion good for me"
you other guys are amatures.
Bruce
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| JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS, BRUCE HASN"T BOUGHT ANY NEW WAFERS YET! HE IS SENDING THE WINNER A LICKED WAFER. IN FACT I HEARD HIM SAY HE WAS BUYING THE WINNER A NEW BOX OF WAFERS. |