The Seinfeld Page. 

This is my Jerry Seinfeld page, on this page I try and bring forth those little questions that most of us see every day and never think twice about.  We simply accept them as fact and move on. I for one am no longer going to sit by and watch these events go by unquestioned. So really this is a page about nothing... hence why I call it my Jerry Seinfeld page.  I would like to note that I in no way know Jerry Seinfeld... have anything to do with Jerry Seinfeld and could care less if Jerry Seinfeld happens upon this page.  His type of humor just struck me as the inspiration for this page. 

1. The self cleaning oven... OK this is a strange one even to me, it seems approiate that I start off with it though since (A). I'm a bachelor and how many bachelors do you know that clean ovens?  and (B). I'm not entirely sure this is a real process.  How does the self cleaning oven work? Are their little "gremlins" on zamboni type setups that go through the oven and clean it when I hit the self clean button?  I can't check on the process... since the door is locked and the lights are out and won't come back on.  So really what is going on in there? I'm not entirely sure.... then again I get the feeling that I probably shouldn't know either.  It just is not natural.

2. Speed Limits... OK OK I know I know we have these in place for our own protection in case of whatever... but really how many of us on the open highway really pay any attention to these things?  Drivers seem to fall into 2  distinct catagories.. the first being that of speed demons thinking that their 1970 whatever POS can keep up with the Mustang that just passed them.  These people are fun to screw with... you know, you get into a line of cars going down a two lane highway and stay just far enough back from the car in front of you that they can slip in and take the spot, so of course you being the safe driver you are speed up just enough that it closes the gap and really pisses the driver behind you off. This takes some practice but can provide hours of entertainment on the highway.  The second kind of driver is "just because the sign says 55 doesn't mean you have to go 55" These people I just blow by and don't even give the time of day.

3. Fundamentalists... These people scare me, and I'm just talking about Christian or Muslim Fundi's I'm talking fundamentalism in any shape or form.  These people are not capable of seeing a the "big picture" they think that their view of the world is right and that is that... well that's great and all call me when Herr Hitler shows up to lead you all.  When Fundi's get control of large groups of stupid people (which by and large Fundi's are large groups of stupid people who are incapable of forming a independent thought) which in of itself is a scary thought.  And then to add injury to insult nine times out of them Fundi's don't even know they are Fundi.  The enviromentalist that is saving some owls habitat.... don't worry that is has 10,000 square miles of territory but lord forbid that we don't impede on this animal because it's just wrong.  Anyway what I'm getting at is that Fundi's don't need to be stopped but only need to be reigned in and under control.