You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other and they finally got married and had a little one---a real SWEET POTATO whom they called YAM.

They wanted the best for little Yam, telling her all about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half baked because she could get Mashed, get a bad name like Hot Potato, and then end up with a bunch of Tater Tots. She said not to worry------no Mr. McSpud would get herin the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her! But shewouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. Mr. and Mrs. Potato even told her about going off to Europe and to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and even the greasy guys from France, called the French Fries. They also said she should watch out for the Indians when going out west because she could get Scalloped. She told them she would stay on the straight and narrowand wouldn't associate with those high class Blue Belles or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks you see around town that say Frito Lay. Mr. and Mrs. Potato wanted the best for Yam, so they sent her to Idaho P.U. - that's Potato University - where the Big Potatoes come from and when she graduated, she'd really be in the Chips. But one day she came home and said she was going tomarry Walter Cronkite. Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset and said she couldn't marry him because he was just a....

(Now wait on the punch line)

(Don't become impatient now)

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists, too. Not really knowing what atheism is, but wanting be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.

There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an atheist."

"Then," asks the teacher," what are you?"

"I'm a Christian."

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian. "Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."