1. We believe in Aunt Clara, the eternal pursuer of our Genealogy, in the tradition that allows us to "Let Aunt Clara do it," and in her persistence in supplying us with Xerox copies.
2. We believe that men will be excused from their own genealogy if they are earning a living or just too busy.
3. We hope that through the temple attendance of others, all mankind may be saved.
4. We believe the first principles of genealogy work are: first, faith that someone else will do it; second, repentance through maintained ignorance; third, baptism by immersion in so many other things that we don't have time anyway; fourth, laying on of excuses for the gift of self-justification.
5. We believe that a man must be a born genealogist or he will never have the ability to perform functions of record-keeping or any research thereof.
6. We believe in following the same organization that existed before the correlation program, namely -- don't try to improve the system; don't take training courses; don't form a family organization, etc.
7. We believe in the gift of time -- time for TV, time for clubs, time for movies, time for parties, etc.
8. We believe the Handbook for Genealogy and Temple Work to be the word of the Church as far as it is translated correctly. We also have our doubts about the genealogy lesson manuals.
9. We believe nothing that the Ward Committee has revealed, and we doubt that it will yet reveal any great or important things we do not already know.
10. We believe in the literal gathering of names out of library books only, and that pedigrees can be built upon this theoretical foundation; that all our pedigree charts will be renewed automatically to paradisiacal correctness just as though real honest research had been done.
11. We claim the privilege of interpreting all family traditions and printed histories to suit our own conveniences, and we allow all men the same privilege -- let them assume who, where, or what they may.
12. We believe in being subject to discouragement, lack of confidence, and busy schedules; and ignoring, resisting, and withstanding the law.
13. We believe in being lazy, in not supporting genealogy work (which would result in good to all men); indeed we may say that we follow the lines of least resistance; we hope all things, but we do nothing, we have not endured anything, and we do not expect to be able to endure anything. If there be any approved way to get out of these responsibilities, we seek after these things.

The Smiths were proud of their family traditions. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and they included Senators and Wall Street Wizards. They decided to compile a family history as a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose - how to handle that unwanted information that great-uncle George had brought to the Family Tree... when he was executed in the electric chair!!!

The experienced author said, "No problem," he could handle the story tactfully, and so he did!!

The book was published, and here is what it said:

"Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution and was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and, indeed, his death came as a great shock."

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Changes last made on: Monday, June 11, 2007
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