Hisashi peered at the brown-haired--and dripping wet--man in his apartment hallway. "Teru?"

The head bobbed up and down. "Yeah, it's me, Hisashi."

"Oh my God!" he cried, stepping aside to let the other man into his flat. "What the hell happened to you?"

The vocalist sniffed an impending cold then brushed his drenched hair out of his face. "I dropped my sister off at the hotel two blocks away from here where she had checked in with her husband. Did you know she personally visited me to let me know that they just found out they're expecting a baby girl? She's due to give birth in three months, you know. And I'll be the--"

"Teru, get to the point," Hisashi snapped impatiently.

"Gomen," he grinned. "Anyway, fans spotted me from outside the lobby after I left her and they just chased me everywhere. It was scary. I even left my car back at the hotel parking!"

"What?" Hisashi cried, incredulous. "And then you ran all the way here? What if they followed you? Seeing three pop icons in one apartment in one night would cause one helluva riot, Teruhiko!"

Teru's forehead crinkled in question. "Three?"

Hisashi bit his lip, totally forgetting that only he was expecting Jiro to drop by. "What if you were followed?" he asked instead to divert his slip.

"I'm not. Trust me. I sneaked into this restaurant, begged the manager to let me pass through the back exit and tell all those girls that I had dropped by. Next thing he knew, orders came flooding him."

Hisashi looked dubious for a moment but when no frenzy was heard in the next five miles from his place, he was pacified that Teru had indeed managed to escape the mob, soaking but nevertheless unscathed.

Teru scanned the place, sensing something was amiss. "Where's Ayu?"

"He's at the vet's. Ear infection."

The vocalist nodded, relief coming into him, being one who's allergic to cats. "No wonder I'm not itching all over." But he wouldn't stop studying Hisashi's apartment unit, especially after his eyes swept by the dinner table interestingly set for two. "Cozy. You expecting anyone?"

"I certainly wasn't expecting you," Hisashi replied, a little off tangent but it seemed to satisfy the curious man. There was no way in hell he was going to tell him about Jiro. It felt like it wasn't time to let anybody else know.

"Sorry. It's just that your house is the nearest place I could run off to. I would've called but under the circumstance I was in, it was impossible."

The guitarist took a long deep sigh. Teru's visit had obviously affected his earlier plans. But seeing Teru like that--soaking wet and shivering from the cold--an old familiar feeling resurfaced in him. Worry and concern marred his pretty face. "You're gonna get a cold if you keep standing right there all saturated with rain water."

"Yeah?" Teru rubbed his palms together. "Well, it is getting a little bit chilly, I must say."

"You know where the bathroom is. Why don't you get yourself freshened up? I'll try to find some dry clothes you could borrow."

"Heh, thanks. I really could use warmth, you know. Takuro would surely get on my case when I come for practice with a cold. I sing like a water buffalo when I've got a stuffy nose."

"Then quit dawdling and haul your ass into that bathroom!" Hisashi cried, an index finger pointing to the door at the back of the living room for emphasis.

"Yeah, I guess." Teru started on his way, but not before a quick apologetic glance at Hisashi over his shoulder. "Hey, I'm sorry if I barged in here and ruined any of your plans. I'll be on my way as soon as the rain stops."

"Just go!" the smaller man said, verbally shoving the vocalist away. After Teru had disappeared, Hisashi's impulse was to reach for the phone. He hoped there was still time to tell Jiro there was a slight change in plans.

Jiro's Toyota glided into an empty spot in the basement parking. He thought he wasn't going to make it, not with the heavy rain and the horde of screaming fangirls he saw some blocks away. For a moment he had frozen in his place behind the wheel, fearing that he had been spotted. But the craze just went on to run after someone all the way to the next street. He toyed with the idea that Sugizo could be the cause of the hysteria. That self-proclaimed Walking Porn could get crazy ideas in his screaming pink head sometimes…//Like running down a busy avenue on a rainy day.//

"Let's go, little Ayu-chan," he said onto his carmate daintily curled up on the passenger sat. "Time to reunite with your Master Hisashi, you know." The cat didn't move an inch but merely looked at Jiro through sleep-clouded eyes before dozing off once again. Jiro sighed. The little brat was expecting to be carried in his arms all the way to Hisashi's apartment. "You're really no different from your owner, you know." But he surrendered, scooping the cat up into his own limbs. He'd always had a pretty weak willpower when it came to anything that had to do with Hisashi.

Taking an extra plastic envelope with him along with Ayu, Jiro got out of the car, checking the lock twice. He sauntered into the elevator and punched the keypad to Hisashi's floor. His heart began to thump in triple time at every second that the cab took him closer to Hisashi. Perhaps it was because they were finally going to clear up their so-called relationship, if there was any to call such. He prayed to the high heavens for something favorable.

The elevator stopped and he made his way out. He noticed a trail of water droplets staining the carpet all the way to Hisashi's door. Had that man gone out in this rain? He hoped not. With this downpour, aggravated by semi-strong winds, the slim guitarist could be very well blown into oblivion. Jiro smirked at the funny thought of Hisashi holding on to a sakura tree like a lifeline before he raised his hand and knocked.

There was no answer, but Jiro could pick up the inconspicuous sound of rustle inside. "Hisa-chan?" It was the first time Jiro called the guitarist that way. He wasn't sure why he did now. Maybe if Hisashi would abhor the use of that familiar on him by Jiro, the bassist would at least get Hisashi out to argue with him.

The door finally did open, although gradually, as if fearing the man who could be tapping on the door. "Hi!" Jiro greeted cheerfully, expecting Hisashi to be smiling. Or frowning. Or glaring. Anything but the surprised expression on the guitarist's fair face. It puzzled him.

"Uhm…" Hisashi began, like searching for words.

//I thought you needed to talk to me//, came Jiro's thought. //I don't think talking begins with 'uhm…'// Nonetheless, Jiro cleared his throat and handed over the cat. "I figured you'd be missing Ayu-chan like crazy so, here he is."

"Thank you," Hisashi replied, barely whispering. He petted the beloved pet for a while before setting him down on the floor.

Jiro was even more baffled when Hisashi placed the cat down. //You'd think Hisashi would cuddle up the cat and forget everything else.// "He was a pretty obedient cat, you know."

"Yeah." It was still the same whispering response.

Jiro shifted his weight on the other leg. Hisashi's silence was making him uncomfortable and nervous. Much more than that, the other man wasn't even letting him in. Should he surmise they'd be talking out in the hallway? "So, uhm…you said you wanted to talk to me?"

Hisashi's mouth opened to say something but a husky voice from beyond the apartment preempted anything he could have uttered. "Tono-chan?"

Jiro's heart missed three beats in shock. He knew that voice. Looking past over Hisashi's shoulder, he saw someone saunter out from the bathroom, obviously fresh from a shower. A single towel was loosely wrapped around his waist, dangerously slipping down to his hips.

Jiro's eyes unconsciously narrowed at the form.

Teru.

The vocalist met his gaze. "Jiro. What a surprise!"

"Yeah," Jiro replied forcefully. He wondered if Teru could see the fire glazing his brown eyes. "You could say that."

"I got caught in the rain," Teru went on, still not having sensed the situation his presence had caused.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Hisashi's been--"

"Teru, shut up!" Hisashi yelled without warning. True enough, it stunned the clueless man. Hisashi closed his eyes for a moment as though to gather his thoughts together. Then he looked at Jiro. "Look, Jiro, I'm--"

"Hey, there's no need to explain," Jiro said, cutting the other man off. "I can take a hint, you know. It's okay. You don't owe me anything." He was almost babbling but he had to. He was uncertain how he would be able to handle Hisashi telling him about Teru's presence. The vocalist was stripped down to a towel for modesty--goodness knew what could be under the terry fabric--with his hair still dripping from a pre-hot night bath. Only a blind man wouldn't take cue.

"Jiro, please--"

"I guess I better hit the road now. You two would definitely need a lot of privacy. Oh, I almost forgot." Jiro handed Hisashi the envelope he'd been clutching lovingly under his arm. "These are for you. I've worked on them the very night I took them. You should take a good look at yourself there. You were just utterly spectacular, you know. Your beauty…it's so radiant it could blind everything. I should know. It damned worked on me."

Jiro didn't wait for Hisashi to whip up a rebuttal. Or call him back. Or run after him. He just turned around and walked away, never looking back.

"You should've run after him."

Hisashi gasped startled at the offered words, reeling him back down on earth. He looked over his shoulder at his unexpected guest, now clad in the dry clothes Hisashi had lain on the bed earlier for him. "What?"

"You've been standing there on that doorway, not moving at all, since he left, and it's been seven minutes. Instead of just staying there all that time, you should've run after him and made things clear."

The guitarist gave one last look at the hallway then closed the door. His face showed an infallible expression of disregard. "What are you talking about?" It was followed by a bitter chuckle.

Teru followed Hisashi with his gaze as the other man sat down on the couch with all of his weight. "Hisashi, if you didn't care that much, you wouldn't have stood on that freakin' doorway of yours for minutes on end, waiting for him to turn on his heels and come back. If it didn't bother you, you wouldn't be sulking on that couch wearing the most goddam miserable face I've ever seen you don. If you didn't care at all, you wouldn't have shouted at me to keep my trap shut when I tried to explain what I was doing here."

"Care?" Hisashi looked at Teru seriously. Then he scoffed at the vocalist. "Why should I even care?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

The words stung Hisashi, not expecting the question to backfire at him. He could only stare at Teru, arms crossed over his broad chest, looking at him with the surest expression. Hisashi hated it. "I don't care at all, Teru. It's not like I just let the one person who could make me feel all the love in the world walk away from me."

"Yeah, maybe," Teru shrugged, trying to match the tone of indifference in the guitarist's voice. "Besides, it's not like four days with him didn't matter, right?"

Hisashi's mouth gaped open. //How did he know about that?//

"I've been trying to call you up for days during the break," Teru explained, sensing Hisashi's wonder, "because Keiji wanted to discuss with you the benefits of that new Mac Titanic or Cybergraphic or whatever it is they call it, version God-knows-what. Heaven knows my credit card's going to cry when he asks for it. Then I've also been trying to call Jiro up because my little Rei has been wailing to see him. I'm starting to think she has a crush on him."

Hisashi smiled a little. It was a nice thought, little Rei Kobashi trying to get Jiro to take her to the park for an ice cream cone. Poor girl; he'd have to break her youthful delicate heart when he tells her that Uncle Hisashi and Uncle Jiro belong to each other. Then he shook his head inwardly. //How'd my thoughts get that far?//

"However," Teru continued, unaware of the ideas in Hisashi's head, "the phones just kept on ringing so I figured they were unplugged."

"What made you assume that?"

"Because I do that when I want to shut myself out from the world. Hell, Ami and I do that. You and Jiro…you two were just nowhere to be found. I put two and two together."

"And that's it?"

"Yeah. Because I can add."

Hisashi raised his hands up in skepticism. "It could've meant anything, Teru! I could've been on a slow boat to China. Jiro could've been on an African safari. Or even to the moon, for all I care!"

"But fact is, you weren't."

Hisashi's already small eyes narrowed down on Teru even more, accompanied by invisible daggers. How he wanted to attack him, close his fingers around that man's neck, strangle him to death until those beautiful eyes pop out of their sockets. Hisashi was willing to commit the crime because he refused to believe what Teru was saying.

If Teru had any idea that his own end was lurking in the guitarist's head, he certainly didn't show it. Instead, he plodded towards the couch and patted the guitarist's blue head. "I think I should go leave you alone."

"Why? I feel miserable. I need company." There was ambiguity in his words but it was the closest thing Hisashi had to admitting how he truly felt. There was no sense in hiding it anymore. He couldn't pretend, especially not with Teru, that things didn't matter when deep down, he was hurting like hell.

"If you really want to be less miserable, it's not my company you'll need." He bent down and planted a brotherly kiss on Hisashi's forehead. "I'll be going now. I think you need some sorting out to do. But whatever it is, just promise me that you'll do one thing?"

"What thing?"

"That you'll be honest with yourself. You can lie to me, you can lie to Jiro, you can lie to just about anyone else but you cannot lie to your own self. We'd call that hypocrisy. And that's gotta be the lowest form of lying there is."

Hisashi's deep intake of breath was the most response he could manage to give. He was uncertain though whether Teru would take that as an affirmative. His eyes followed the vocalist start for the exit. "Arigatou," he uttered, barely a whisper and the silence made the words be carried over to Teru's ears by the doorway.

"No problem. Tokorede, I borrowed your umbrella. Oyasumi…Tono-chan." The door closed and then Teru was gone.

Hisashi grinned despite himself, liking the sound of the endearment the other man had always called him by whenever they were alone. It made him feel safe, warm, cared for. That was all there is to it. Had Teru called him by any other name, Hisashi would still feel the same. Teru…Teru's sweetness never sent tingles down his spine nor sent his heart to vault into somersaults…not like how…how someone…*someone* makes him feel.

The faint smile on his face was replaced by irritation upon recall of the vocalist's last words. To say he was amazed was saying an understatement. It was more like shock that barraged into his whole body. And hate was still there. When did Teru become so logical…//and so damned right?//

Jiro drove in silence, just listening to the sound of the rain splattering on the roof of his car, on his windows, on the front hood. He couldn't make much of the streets he was passing by. Hell, he couldn't even recall *where* he was passing by. The buildings that met him were only vaguely familiar to him, if familiar should be the term at all. He had the feeling he was lost. It wasn't the route to his house. It wasn't the route to Hisashi's either. The latter thought served him a welcome respite. The last thing he'd need would be anything concerning the bluehead.

//What IS with that man//, he thought over and over again. Just when Jiro thought he'd figured that being out, things would just suddenly change. Hisashi was like pieces of three different puzzles, no wonder Jiro couldn't make everything fit into one picture. Perhaps, things would've been better off for him if they hadn't gotten close. At least Jiro knew exactly how Hisashi felt for him. At least he knew for how far he should keep his distance. At least he knew where he stood.

No, he screamed inwardly. If they hadn't gotten close…he wouldn't have been this happy, at least until a while ago. Besides, he knew it must've taken Hisashi every bit of nerve he had to even attempt at making one step to talk to him. Jiro himself had pretty much given up on that a long time ago. The least he could do was make Hisashi realize that the effort wasn't in vain.

But then maybe, the problem was with Jiro himself. He gave everything Hisashi did a meaning. He connoted every word the bluehead uttered with something much more than a friendly banter. He had mistaken the closeness to be laced with something other than friendship. Jiro bit his lip. //I had let my thoughts run too freely.//

Yet, he couldn't bring himself to think that it was entirely his imagination or his pathetic optimism. Hisashi would smile at him always, not the forced one he used to flash for the mere sake of letting Jiro see he knew how to. It was almost the same one Hisashi would throw at Teru's face, maybe even more. And Hisashi never shouted at him to shut up like he did with Teru earlier. The bluehead would only knit his perfectly arched brows together and speak in a stern voice, but he'd never shout, not matter how obnoxious and noisy he got. Yes, things really did change big time between them from the moment Hisashi phoned him about Ayu. And the friendship Hisashi was extending him was sincere. He felt it. It penetrated into his bones. They've gotten really close. It was a major improvement from the time they first met. Hisashi's heartfelt friendship was what Jiro had always longed for.

//So why do I feel like shit?//

Jiro sighed in defeat as the answer sunk into him. He felt miserable because he had allowed himself to feel too much. Hisashi was a natural flirt; he loved making anyone squirm with a smile, a teasing brow lift, a wink or a remark. Jiro had witnessed hordes of Hisashi-crazy fans faint over any of those. And it all meant nothing to the guitarist. It was all innocent trifling to anyone…//anyone but Teru.//

The bassist's hands gripped the steering wheel so hard, his knuckles turned white. The memory of Teru prancing around Hisashi's flat in that skimpy, flimsy towel flashed through his mind. Maybe that's why Hisashi had asked him to bring Ayu over to his apartment; so that Jiro could see for himself that as much as he'd offered his friendship to the bassist, he wasn't about to throw himself at him. Jiro was just the guitarist's friend, while Teru…Jiro snorted. The towel can spell it out for any one.

//But Hisashi had made that face on the subject of him and Teru as lovers//, Jiro wondered, recalling Hisashi's vehement objection back in his kitchen. If Hisashi didn't want Teru that way, then why…then why…

Jiro's face fell. There was no sense in thinking about the ifs and buts. Hisashi didn't owe Jiro any explanation, if the sight of a three-fourths naked Teru in his apartment wasn't justification enough. But the message was clear: Hisashi didn't love Jiro. His being close with the bassist was out of gratitude over all the help Jiro had extended. The flirting, the banter, the near-kiss, the actual buss on the cheek…it was all part of testing the Hisashi charm if he still had it. Obviously, it was never lost.

A small part of Jiro stubbornly refused to give up. It was the part that kept on telling him Hisashi had a good reason, that Hisashi cared for him as much as he did, that Hisashi was within his grasp…that Hisashi loves him. It was also the same part that made him realize his windshield was foggy and misty from the overproductive airconditioning inside his car and the cold weather outside. He reeled himself out from his emotional roller coaster and settled back into the confines of his Toyota.

Frowning, Jiro reached forward and tried to wipe the screen with one hand, surprised to find it not as damp as he had expected it to be. But the view was still blurry. //Maybe I'd need to start wearing glasses.// The hand moved up to his face to rub his eyes.

He jerked his hand back when he thought he felt it wet. He stared at the digits, shiny and moist from the mist clouding his vision. They were indeed wet with tears.

His own tears.

The realization that his eyes were shrouded caused him to shift his attention onto his hand. The tears should've been shed last night, when the girl whom he thought was the love of his life ended their bond. It was a breakup he didn't initiate. He should've wept over that, but he wasn't able to bring himself do so. Yet here he was now, crying over a beautiful man, someone who was never his. //How pathetic can I get?//

The Toyota continued to cruise down the slippery asphalt road. Tears that were now falling in earnest went on to blur his vision, rendering him almost as blind as the sharp right curve he took.

The last thing Jiro remembered seeing was the concrete building wall blocking his way.

part 8