Hisashi stormed into his apartment, slamming the door furiously behind him. This was much worse than what he had anticipated. He threw his jacket down to the floor and halted in the middle of the room, waiting for *him* to show up.

Jiro showed up soon, as expected, not far in front of him. "Look, Hisa, about that time…"

"What about *that* time, huh?!"

"I'm sorry…"

"No, you are not," Hisashi cut him off. "No you are not fucking sorry about all of this"

"Yes I am!" Jiro said, defending himself. "Yes, I am sorry about how things turned out to be! I'm sorry, I… I didn't mean it to happen, but…"

"But it happened out of your control, right?" Hisashi retorted back, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Yes, of course, how could I blame you? It's not what you want"

"Hisashi, it's not funny…"

"Who says it's funny?" he yelled. "Everyone now think I'm crazy and it's all *your* fucking faults! It's NOT funny at all!"

The room fell silent as Hisashi tried to calm himself. "Goddammit… Teru, Takuro, Shigeo, Masahide, Toshi… and now even Izumi think I'm crazy! Why do you have to disturb me? Why do you have to be so nosy? Why can't you just keep silent??!!!"

"Hisashi…"

"Stop it!" Hisashi raised his hand. "You know what? Now I regret having you around. I regret having you haunting me! I regret for being even able to see your ghost!"

Words flew out of his mouth in anger, so much anger that he couldn't stop them. A small, tiny part of himself, which was still unaffected by the anger in him, regretted his last words. He saw pain - obvious pain - , regret and sadness shone from the depth of those deep brown orbs. That small part of him urged him to take back his words and comfort the ghost, who was by now look even more fragile than before.

But the anger in him won. The anger caused from the fact that his friends now thought he was crazy. From the strange looks in their friends' eyes whenever they saw him. He hated it. He fucking hated it.

"Eversince you appeared, all you can cause me are troubles!" Hisashi growled. "God, just go away!"

// … you need me, Hisa-chan… //

"I don't need you!" he yelled. "I don't need you! Go away! Go haunt someone else! Just go away!"

After saying those words, he saw something broken inside Jiro. He saw it through the bassist's eyes, the eyes that almost always failed to hide something, clear like glass. Something broken and… died.

He was so transfixed looking into those depths that it took him a few moments to realize that Jiro was getting more and more transparent with each passing second.

A single word escaped from the blonde's mouth, before he vanished completely. Like a caress, soft, but sad and lonely.

"…Hisashi…"

* * *

The night was silent. Hisashi sat on the sofa, his hand absentmindedly petted Ayu which is curling with Jiro's electronic dog beside him. His eyes staring blankly at the muted television.

For the first time ever since Jiro's ghost appeared, his house was silent. It now felt strange. He used to be used with the quietness of his house, but ever since Jiro's ghost appeared, his house had been livelier.

He had let himself getting too used with Jiro's presence at his house.

The house felt strange now, like it missed something important. It was silent, uneasy silence. His house now was devoid of the laughters and animated chatters. For the first time in two week, he had dinner alone.

He… missed him. He missed having him sitting there across him, talking, ranting about something, everything. He missed those naughty sparkles in those brown eyes, he missed the jokes and humor.

Godness, he had been in too deep. He had let himself getting used with Jiro's presence too damn much.

//… you need me, Hisa-chan … //

Right now, those words were like the truest words in the whole world. He needed Jiro, whether he liked it or not.

But yesterday, he had told him that he didn't need him. He had told him to get lost.

And he was the type of person who had too much pride and dignity to take back what he had said.

He was willing to say that he was sorry though. And he planned on saying it when Jiro appeared again.

*Ring, ring!!*

Hisashi eyed the phone wearily. Who was it anyway? Certainly not Teru, because he was taking his children on holiday until Sunday, which is in three days time. Takuro was visiting his family in Hokkaido. He didn't know about the other members, like Shigeo, Toshi, Masahide or Ryo were, but he was sure they were taking this break time to relax.

So who was it?

*Ring ring*

He sighed and picked up the phone off its craddle. "Moshi moshi…" he said timidly.

"Hisashi-san!" came the voice of Sawamura Mizuki, sounding really in the verge of tears. "Thanks God you are home… I've tried to call Teru-san and Takuro-san … but no one picked up… so…"

Hisashi was in so much alert, and dimly he felt dread starting to crawl into him. Mizuki sounded so damn scared and worry. What happened?? "Calm down, Mizuki-san," he said. "What happen?"

There were small sobs before she answered him. "It's… it's Jiro…"

It was all that Hisashi needed to hear. Without thinking, he grabbed his coat and sprinted to his car and drove high speed towards the hospital.

* * *

He reached the hospital in record time, silently thanking the God that he wasn't fined for speeding. He parked his car in the first empty spot he saw, and without caring whether or not he had parked in a right way, he locked the car and then sprinted to the hospital.

His mind was a complete chaos. The thoughts, the speculation about Jiro filled every space in his mind. It must be really bad, Jiro's situation.

Hisashi tore his way towards the one room he had grown to know by heart, practically flying down the corridors. He couldn't get rid of the bad feeling that kept nagging him eversince Mizuki called him earlier. Let him be okay, he prayed silently. Let him *live*; for Jiro's own sake, for everyone's sake… for his own sake too.

He turned the last corner towards Jiro's room and spotted Mizuki sitting on one of the lining chairs in the corridor, her back hunched, her shoulders slumped and shook with each quiet sobs that racked her body. He walked up to her, ignoring the small voice in his mind that reminded him that he was… that he was actually scared. That he was scared of finding out the truth of Jiro's condition. That he was scared of the bad news he would get soon.

He stopped in front of her and touched her shoulder tentatively. "… Mizuki-san…"

She lifted her face, staring at him with red and puffy eyes. She bit her lips, trying not to cry again, but the tears just wouldn't stop falling. "Hisashi-san…"

"What… happen to him?" he asked, feeling his heart thudded loudly in fear and anticipation.

Mizuki wiped her tears and took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down so she could talk. "His condition… his condition worsens drastically… his heart rate is dropping too… God, it's… it's scary, Hisashi-san… he's… he's dying!"

As much as he had anticipated this, the knowledge of Jiro's dropping condition still shocked him. He just couldn't believe it. In fact he refused to believe it. Yesterday Jiro's condition had still been stable, and couple days ago the doctors had even suggested that there was some development of his condition. But now… but now…

He turned abruptly to Jiro's room, intending to see it with his own eyes. He needed to make himself sure. But when he had his hand on the door knob, Mizuki grabbed his other hand abruptly.

"No, don't go in!" she said. "The doctors are still trying to revive and stabilize him again… don't go in"

Hisashi stalled for a moment, then sighed frustatedly. He wanted to go in there. Jiro was there, just on the other side of the door. All he had to do was just open the door and come to his bedside. But the fear and plead in Mizuki's eyes, those brown orbs that were so similar with Jiro…

Hisashi gently pried her hand from his arm, promising her that he wouldn't come into the room and disturb the doctors. Mizuki nodded a little, then settled back on one of the chairs there, looking tired and beaten.

Hisashi stayed where he was, in front of Jiro's door. He stared through the clear glass of the small windows of the door, but all he could see was the curtain that was drawn around the bed, blocking his view.

After what seemed like an eternity, trying to peer from the small windows, walking back and forth, praying and trying to comfort Mizuki, the door was finally opened. The weary-looking nurses came out first, bringing with them couple of medical equipments Hisashi had no intention on finding out the functions of.

And then two doctors walked out of the room, closing the door behind them ever so quitely. One of them gave him and Mizuki a polite nod before walking away, leaving the other one to give the explanation.

Hisashi stared at the gravely looking doctors in front of him. His mind was screaming thousands questions about Jiro, but none of them found its way out of his mouth. His mouth suddenly felt dry and there was lump, big lump in his throat that made it hard for him to breath.

"…So…?" he didn't even recognized the voice that came out from his moth.

"Doctor, how is he?" Mizuki asked.

The doctor raked his hair and sighed. "I am honestly still unclear as to why this could happen. It is… unexpected, if I may say. His condition had been pretty much stable and if any, we are expecting some development in his condition, not… this"

"Thankfully Sawamura-san reacted fast when she noticed the dropping of the pulse rate on the monitor. And I assure you, we have tried our best. It was one tough job to do, and it took us quite some time to get him pretty stable. Actually, we haven't been able to *completely* stabilized him yet, that's why we are hooking him with more medical equipments, because he's still in a quite dangerous state. Once his condition is stabil again, once it's quite safe, we will take off those additional equipments"

"…Is there… nothing you can explain about why his condition dropping like that?" Hisashi asked.

The doctor rubbed his eyes tiredly. "In medical range, I can't give any satisfying answer. But to me personally, it just… it looks like Jiro-san has been beaten. It looks like Jiro-san has lost and stopped his struggles. It's just a personal answer, it really doesn't explain the reasons as of why his condition dropping like this"

He bowed a little. "I'm sorry I can't give any more satisfying answer. You can visit him now, but please be quiet. And for this time being… please just pray for him. He will need it"

Hisashi and Mizuki murmured a thank you as the doctor started to walk away. Hisashi stared at the door in front of him, suddenly felt so intimidating. The fear and dreads in him arised. He took a deep breath and steeled himself as he turned the doorknob so quietly and steppped inside the dimly lit room.

He stepped tentatively towards the bed. The curtain was still drawn around it. Mizuki rushed to the bedside, slipping quietly between the surtain. Hisashi took a deep breath and followed Mizuki.

The doctor hadn't been joking when he said that Jiro was hooked onto more medical equipment. Hisashi could see more tubes potruding from Jiro's arms and some other things he had no idea connecting from where to where.

He walked to the bedside, on the opposite side of Mizuki. His eyes scanned the other man's face. Jiro's expression was pretty much still like before, calm, peaceful, as if he was just sleeping. But this times Hisashi noted some faint lines of pain, of fatigue.

… Maybe that was only his imagination.

He took one of Jiro's hands in his, craddlling it gently.

//… please be quiet…//

What for? Why should he be quiet? No matter how much noise he'd make, Jiro wouldn't be affected. Jiro wouldn't be awake.

He wished Jiro would though.

God, he would make one hell of a noise if it could wake Jiro up. How he missed the sound of his voice. He wished Jiro would just wake up, even if it was just for scolding him or annoy the hell out of him, Hisashi wished Jiro would just be awake.

He felt like he wanted to punch Jiro for being so… indifferent. He wanted to yell at the blonde to just come back to this world from wherever he was now. Didn't he know that he made everybody worried? Didn't he know that everyone missed him? Didn't he know that he, Hisashi, wanted him back, more than anything else in the world?

// … it looks like Jiro-san has been beaten. Like he has lost and stopped his struggles…//

//… I don't need you!! Go away! Just… go away!!!…//

It made him flinched, those sudden memories that came up to his mind.

Was it because of the fight earlier this afternoon? He had told Jiro that he didn't need him. He had told him that he wanted him to get lost.

… Was that why?…

He still remembered that particular look in those deep brown eyes. Sad, dejected, broken… lonely. Hisashi just couldn't forget that look. It kept haunting him.

In one way to another… maybe he was the one who caused Jiro's condition to drop like this.

//…Hisashi…//

He still remembered, that whispers, sad and broken and lonely, just like his eyes, lingering in the air.

Maybe it was his fault afterall. Maybe it was him who didn't try to understand Jiro. It was him, who didn't try to understand how much Jiro must be feeling so lonely. The way Jiro always tried to open a conversation with him, the way Jiro always tried to get his attention, to get him talking back…

It pained him, and along with the pain, came a realization that surfaced in his mind. That he missed Jiro not really in a way he would miss a friend. He missed Jiro like… like he missed something special for him, something that he held fondly in his heart.

There was rustles of clothes as Mizuki stood up and walked out of the room to answer the call on her cell phone.

Now there were only the two of them, Hisashi and Jiro.

Wasn't he the one who actually enjoy it? The fact that Jiro was only visible to his eyes? The fact that Jiro could only communicate with him? The fact that they had managed to become good friends?

His mind suddenly chidded him. Goodfriend? Was that all that he wanted?

…No. As much as he wanted to deny it, Jiro had held a special place in his mind. These days, he always looked forward in seeing him, in hearing his voice. As pethetic, as sappy as it might sound… Jiro was the first thing he looked forward to see in the morning and the one he wanted to see before he went to bed.

He should be feeling guilty to Izumi. But right now, Izumi was one of the farthest things in his mind. Right now, his mind consisted only a ghostly image of a person that was lying unconscious in front of him.

His fingers caressed the skin of Jiro's hand he was holding. Gently he brought the limp hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

"Wake up, Jiro," he whispered, to the sleeping blonde, into the empty room. "Please. Just come back to us. I'm sorry for the way I behaved the last time we met. I'm sorry for everything I have said…"

"Just come back… please? For everyone's sake, please… Teru and Takuro are worrying sick about you… I promise I won't get angry when you try to talk to me… Even if you comeback still as a ghost… "

He got no response though. Jiro's eyes were still closed. The room was still cold and silent. The only sound that was in the room was the soft hissing sound of the respirator and the monotonous beeping sound of the pulse rate monitor.

Hisashi noticed that the pulse range getting wider, getting slower.

He gripped Jiro's hand tightly, in a vain attempt to prevent him from going away.

"…Just come back… please…"