"Jiro"

I felt the hot tears stinging my eyes and rolling down the sides of my face. Still, I didn't turn. I couldn't.

"Koi, please"

Oh, God!

"Jiro, please look at me"

I broke down. I turned. His lithe form now invaded my already blurry vision. He could see now. He could see me cry. I never cried. Ever.

He walked across my living room towards me. Concern dictated his every move. Guilt etched deep in his features. Pity watered his eyes. Lack of sleep discoloured his skin. All week long I have been avoiding him. I couldn't bring myself to look at him straight in the eye anymore. Not after what he did…to me. I was disgusted. Humiliated. Shocked. Scared. Angry. I saw my whole universe come crumbling down around me.

I couldn't believe he would do that to me.

I couldn't believe he let Teru kiss him.

I couldn't believe he kisses him back.

~~~~~~

Here we are,
Tell me I'm the only one who makes you feel alive again,
There you go,
I see you watching him when you don't think I know,
Should have let you go,

~~~~~~

I bent my head and stared at the carpet between my toes. I was pouting again and I was painfully aware of it. I didn't want him to see my tears. Tears of a defeated man who has lost all in the world that was dear to him.

I lost my Hisashi.

I felt his slender arms encircle me. No! I couldn't let him touch me. Not after that. I tried to struggle as hard as I could but he only tightened his grip. He didn't let go. He wouldn't let go. I was beaten. I heard my voice crack into a series of pathetic sobs.

"Please, Jiro! I'm so sorry. I _am_ so, so sorry. I don't know what came over me."

I rotated my head slightly so that I might look at his face. He was crying too.

I could see the regret. He was truly sorry. He still loves me.

I moved my hands to the back of his neck as I pulled him closer for a kiss. I gasped involuntarily as his mouth enveloped mine. I missed that feeling so much. I didn't know how I managed to survive the past week without this glorious sensation. I hear him moan in my arms. He parted his lips slightly and I dove my tongue in to the hot cavern that was his sensuous mouth. Oh God! I missed the way he tastes.

A spicy concoction of cigarettes and salted Pringles.

And a soft touch of Doubt.

~~~~~~

So who's it gonna be?
Is it him or me?

~~~~~~

Damn.

A fresh surge of the liquid of grief formed in my eyes as I hastily withdrew away from him. His own eyes frantically searched the windows of my soul for answers. He didn't know that I knew.

I found him out. I hove just mercilessly exposed his deepest secret that he had tried his hardest but failed so badly to keep away from me. I told him all this with my eyes. I watch painfully as his face fell when it finally became clear to him. Crystal.

He placed his trembling hand against my moist cheek. I turned away from it.

"Do you love him?"

"Jiro, please…not this"

"Answer me, fucking hell!"

My temper was building up. All the hurt and pain I had within had melded into a blind rage. I took a few ragged breaths as I tried to control my anger. I needed to know.

" Do…you…love…him."

~~~~~~
Who do you love?
Who do you need?
Messin' up my mind.
Wasting all my time.

~~~~~~

Hisashi blinked back at me. His soft brown eyes just stared at me, unmoving. His bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. Oh my God! He doesn't love me! Shit! He doesn't love me anymore! If he did he wouldn't just stand there staring at me and not answering me. Oh Crap! He doesn't love me…

"I…I…don't know"

I could hear me heart breaking in the hollow cavity of my ribcage. The intense pain. Like a flame struggling to burn in an enclosed glass. This is stupid. I can't believe this is happening. I felt so empty… So vacant… gone…

Suddenly it was as if I was watching this movie and the people on the screen resembled Hisashi and me. This was not happening to me. It's just a movie.

My hopeless brain chanted its demented mantra over and over again in vain efforts of saving what little sanity I had left.

" I thought you loved me"

My voice sounded oddly different. I surprised myself because I could hear the evident strain in it. Was I really in that much pain? My eyes were still downcast. I scrutinized the floor to make sure that it wouldn't betray me too. I watched to make sure that it wouldn't suddenly give way beneath my feet and let me plunge into the deep abyss.

"You promised me that you will love me till the end of time. You vowed that you would never love another. That I was the only one that mattered in your life"

My voice raised louder and louder. I was really getting to the point of breaking now.

"Oh Jiro"

"Lies!!!"

"But Jiro I _do_ love you"

"THEN WHAT ABOUT TERU?"

I saw him wince from my words. I must have been shouting. I wouldn't know. I can't feel anything anymore.

~~~~~~

Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playing with my heart
You're tearing my apart

~~~~~~

" I don't know!"

I gave him one last look and aimed to walk past him. I planned to walk out of the door. Leave the apartment. Go to some random bar and get myself horribly drunk. I had to. If I stayed I would probably hurt him. I love him too much to do that but I also knew that I wasn't thinking straight anymore.

"Jiro, Don't leave!"

I turned around fully prepared to give him the best menacing glare I could muster, but he flung himself against my chest. My skin burned under his touch. I could feel his tears seeping through my shirt. A dull ache rushed with the blood in my veins as he moved his arms to go round my waist. I was losing the battle. I knew it.

" Please don't go"

He pressed his body into mine. I closed my eyes as Hisashi's warm breath dampened the skin of my cheek.

"Let me explain, onegai…I love you…"

I snapped back into reality. I wasn't going to let him get me this time. I grabbed his chin with my left hand and roughly tilted his head to face me. His eyes glazed and moisture clung to his eyelashes.

" Understand this. There is nothing you can say now that would ever make me believe you anymore. Nothing! "

"Then let me show you"

With that he crushed his lips against mine, bruising my own stunned lips with his fierce kisses.Liquid fire shot out over every inch of my body. I opened my mouth in desperation for air only to find that he had skillfully slipped his tongue
between my teeth. The Bastard had caught my off guard! I uttered a shaky moan deep within me. He knows my many pleasure points and he was pulling out all the stops. I was losing the battle. I had to do something. And fast.

I pushed him back against the wall. He lost control of the situation momentarily. Taking advantage of his uncertainty, I returned his kiss with the same violence and vigour. I shoved my hand into his hair at the nape, forcing him to sink down a little lower and tilt his head upwards to meet mine. I was forcing him to be submissive. I continued my assault by running the tips of my fingers teasingly across the waistband of his jeans. My mind was flooded with the twisted determination to fuck him senseless right there and then. I was determined to give him the most mind numbing and
unforgettable experience of meager existence.

I was determined to make him forget that he ever met Teru.

My persistence was rewarded soon enough.

Hisashi let out a hoarse cry as my fingers drifted across his arousal.

~~~~~~

Am I the one who can make you fly up above?
Is it me who can take you higher then you're dreaming of?

~~~~~~

His hands drifted upwards and wound themselves around my neck. It was a simple action that spoke a thousand words. I didn't need to say anything. He knew the rules. He had it coming to him. He had committed the harshest of crimes and he had to be punished. He didn't resist when I bit into the delicate flesh below his ear. He didn't shy away when I glared into his watery brown orbs. He was my bitch tonight.

I roughly pushed him down to the floor. My hands ripped the shirt of his back as we descended. My lips were still locked to his. I wasn't going to give him the chance to breathe until I was ready. After what seemed like an eternity I paused momentarily to straddle his hips. During this briefest time, I stole a fleeting glance at his face. His lips were dark red and slightly bruised. His cheeks were flushed and his eyelids closed and framed with moisture. His breathing was shallow and quick due to my previous reluctance to grant him air. I bent down towards him again and licked the corners of his sweet mouth with the tip of my tongue. He responded immediately by opening up to me and I proceeded to tug lightly at his bottom lip with my teeth. A deep moan escaped from within him.

I could feel his need pressing against my thigh, making me hard as well. He was ready…but I wasn't. No way am I going to let him get off this easily. I was going to make him suffer first. I'm going to toy with him a while longer before I give him what he wants. What he needs.

Release.

Forgiveness.

I dragged my fingernails across his bare chest in every direction until little red lines covered every inch of his smooth torso. I felt his small frame shiver under my touch. An inane smirk found it's way to my mouth. He reached out and tried to undo the buttons of my shirt but I slapped his hand away. I raised my chest of his, leaving him to feel a portion of the bitter cold that I felt when he abandoned me for Teru. I sneered at him.

"If anything is going to be removed it's gonna be by me, when I want it, and when I feel like it. _ Is_that_clear_?"

I punctuated every word by trusting my crotch against his. He was shocked at first and let out a startled cry. But then his silent nod was proof enough that he understood fully. I issued a sinister smirk that could have brought the devil himself to his knees.

Slowly I ran a finger from the tip of his nose down to the waistband of his jeans, taking long pauses to draw soft circles around his nipples and belly button. I brushed tender little butterfly kisses along the valley of his chest. That was his weak spot. I felt his pale skin shiver beneath my lips and my hand was still drawing soft lines along his waistband. I unbuckled his belt and placed my fingertips against the zipper of his jeans.

~~~~~~

Well, who do you love?

~~~~~~

"Jiro"

His pained voice barely a whisper. I pulled down the zipper slowly with my teeth all the while blowing small puffs of cool air into the opening. Hisashi started breathing heavily. He was close and I haven't even started! Damn, I must be good!

"It's getting hotter, don't you think?"

I flashed his one of my devilish grins and removed my shirt, tossing it somewhere across the room then proceeded to pull his jeans past his hips. A barely audible sigh of relief slipped past his clenched teeth. Finally I allowed my gaze to rest on his hardness in his boxers.

Skillfully I slipped my hands up the legs of the blue silk and lightly massaged his aching flesh. Hisashi bucked his hips up involuntarily to meet my touch. His fingers entwined themselves in my hair. I could feel him straining to control himself with every ounce of will power that he had left. I teased the tip of his arousal, pinching it and running my fingers along the throbbing vein. Loud moans and pre-cum followed soon after. Hisashi tried desperately to pump his hips into my hands.

"Woah…Easy there, tiger"

I pulled off his boxers, exposing him to the cool night air. I bent my head and dragged my tongue lightly across his arousal from the tip to the base over and over again. I love the way he shivered from both the cold and the intense heat. Swiftly I took him into my mouth all the way up to the base. I applied a little bit of suction and immediately released him completely.

" Ack! Fuck you! Don't stop!"

I repeated the same torturous move on the very tip of his arousal. My teeth were drawing quivers of extreme pleasure and pain from my beloved. I refused to take him in anymore then the tip. He was trying to grind his hips up against my mouth. So close and yet so far. He whimpers in agony. I could feel him about to explode when I suddenly pulled away from him.

" Jiro!!! Shit! More! Ahhh… Onegai!"

~~~~~~

Who do you love?
Who do you need?
Messin' up my mind,
Wasting all my time,

~~~~~~

I got up and stood over him with my feet on either side of his hips. Standing there for a few seconds I looked down upon his beautiful features. His face was flushed and sweat glistened off his lean body. As I took my time to unbuckle my belt and removed my jeans I couldn't resist the urge to traces clumsy lines on the side of his left thigh with my toes. He hissed out my name and I could literally see his shaft turn redder at that innocent act.

As soon as my pants had made their way some where across the room. I got down again on my knees and straddled him. Through semi closed eyelids he watched me helplessly as I pinned both his wrists beneath my kneecaps. With my
entire weight on them there was no way that he could move them. I used my index finger to tease his opening, rimming him and driving it in occasionally, hitting his sweet spot every time. I could see him eyeing my already hard and big member.

"…Do it…"

Such a simple statement. He bit his lip and nodded in anticipation. He knew what was coming to him. My hands when down and tipped him arousal upwards.

Or so he thought.

Hisashi blinked and stared at me in his bewilderment. His eyes were wide open as I slowly lowered myself on to him. I was too engrossed in getting him in me that I didn't realized that Hisashi had arched his back and lifted his hips in effort to make the entry easier. Stiff grunts spew forth from his clenched teeth as he struggled to keep still while I engulfed him in my warmth. This was new to him.

He had never been in me before.

~~~~~~

Who do you love?
What do you feel?
Stop playing with my heart,
You're tearing me apart,

~~~~~~

I could feel all of him inside me. All of him. It felt so good.

I began to move myself up and down, slowly at first but gradually picking up the pace. Every time I went down a hot bolt of lightning shoots through my entire body. My skin was all tingly and hot. My senses were on high alert. I couldn't control myself anymore. All shred of sanity I had left had vaporized in to nothingness. I rode him harder and faster. Hisashi matched my pace with renewed eagerness.

"Oh God, Hisa!"

"Shut up and go faster! Ahhh!"

"I am! Just fuck me!"

" Acck! Jiro~~~! I can't…I can't… "

He screamed my name out loud as he came in me. A blinding white, hot explosion within my being snapped the last remaining barrier. A yell swelled up in my throat and pushed its way out from my lips. I heard myself call out his name as I released hot liquid all over his stomach.

The last thing I remember before passing out was falling into his waiting arms.

~~~~~~

I'm I the one who can make you fly up above,
Is it me who can take you higher then you're dreaming of,

~~~~~~

I opened my eyes and discovered that I was already between the sheets on my bed. My head was rested on Hisashi's chest. He had his arms around me, holding me close. Almost as if he was afraid of losing me.

He almost did.

I turned my head to face him. He was awake. His tired expression broke into a soft smile when he gazed into me eyes. He tilted down to kiss me softly.

I loved the way he tastes right now.

A spicy concoction of cigarettes and salted Pringles.

And the strange but familiar taste of his love.

I have back my Hisashi.

~~~~~~

Now who do you love?

~~~~~~

Huh?

Teru who?

------OWARI------