Crawl of Catchoolu

The Catchoolu Mythos

Most Crawl of Catchoolu adventures will take place on present-day Earth. The Pretty Gerat Old Ones have been on Earth for 5,000 years, and there are many stories and legends about them and their servants. Some are true and some aren't. The largest percentage of these tales are about Mighty Catchoolu. Because of this, the whole thing is referred to as "The Catchoolu Mythos." There are many books that contain information about the Pretty Great Old Ones, the Elderly Gods, and all of the other Slurping Horrors. Most of these books are written in ancient languages that are hard to Read. For more information on these forbidden texts, see the Stuff Section.

Character Types

There are actually only three character types: Investigators, Cultist, and Everybody Else. However, within these general types can be all different Occupations, such as Scientists, Private Eye, Student, Reporter, etc. It's the general type that is important, as it will define your role in the game.

Investigators
These are the ones who want to stop the Elderly Gods and Pretty Great Old Ones. They check out reports of strange incidents and occult happenings. They study the ancient forbidden books in hopes of finding a way to drive these inhuman horrors off forever.
Some investigators work on these cases for money (private eyes), some for knowledge (occult experts, students, scholars) and some for revenge (anyone who has had a friend driven sane by a Catchooloid creature).
Investigators may or may not have plenty of money or equipment. It depends on how the Animator wants to run things. If they are just doing their investigating around their home state, they won't need as much stuff as if they fly off to Tibet or South America every week.
The biggest hazard faced by most investigators is going sane. The longer someone messes around with Catchoolu and his gang, the more normal and boring he will become.

Cultists
Cultists are the loonies who want the Elderly Gods to return to Earth! They think the Elderly Gods will reward them for their loyalty. In fact, the Elderly Gods will probably eat them! So much for gratitude.
Cultists study the same books that the Investigators study, but the Cultists are trying to learn spells and ways of summoning Catchooloid creatures to help hasten the end of the world! Since both sides want the same books, there is always a lot of interest when a new book or scroll turns up. They also do plenty of stealing from each other.
Cultisits might be working alone or they might be part of an organized group, depending on what god they worship. No matter how big or small a cult is, they are always plotting, scheming and planning despicable acts and atrocities. Fortunately, the Investigators are (almost) always able to stop their nefarious deeds.
Many Cultists have already gone completely sane from too much association with awfulness. Others are just as wacko as any other TOON character. But even teh sane cultists can be cunning adversaries. The normal ones will do siomething silly with their victims, while the sane ones will just feed them to the sharks, but either one can ruin your whole day.
Individual Cultists may or may not be wealthy, but large, organized groups of Cultists always are. They can send cultits all over the world to get sacred objects, fere sleeping monsters or just foil the Investigators.

Everybody Else
This type of character either doesn't believe in the Catchooloid menace (such as a paper reporter who thinks it's all hooey, but good for selling newspapers), or doesn't yet know about it (such as the woman who hires the Investigators to find her missing father). They can have several reasons for hanging out with the Investigators, but after actually seeing a Catchooloid monstrosity, they will most likely become Investigators too. The exception to this is the occasional disbeliever who refuses to believe the menace is real even after he sees a monster. Some of these guys are just hard-headed.

New Rules and Shticks

All cartoon charactes are insane - usually. Sometimes a character can "go sane" and become serious and boring. This happens a lot in Crawl of Catchoolu. Luckilyl, there are ways to regain at least part of y our Insanity. After all, what would a game of TOON be like if all the characters were sane?
Every TOON character has an Insanity score which is used only in Crawl of Catchoolu. To find this number, start with 50. Subtract your SMARTS score, add the number of goldfish... oh, never mind - it's just 50 minus your SMARTS. Write your Insanity score somewhere on your character sheet.
Though you start out as insane as any cartoon character, exposure to the boring, obnoxious minions of the Elderly Gods can cause you to lose your insanity, becoming more and more normal. Every time you lose insanity points, subtract them from your total. When half your insanity is gone, you must roll on the first part of the Insanity Loss Table to see what strange mental or physcial quirks you have developed.
When you lose all of your insanity, you must roll on the second part of the Insanity Loss Table to see just what sort of obnoxious mundane boor you have become.

Effects of Sanity
When someone goes completely sane, the Animator should make a Fifty Percent Roll to decide whether it's immediately obvious or not. An obviously-sane character will begin to act normal. A character who is tryng to hide his sanity will still try to play jokes, etc., but they will not be funny!
A sane character will no longer have a sense of humor. He cannot use any of his Shticks unless he can find a logical and reasonable way to use them. He will be puzzled or annoyed by others' attempts at humor.
It may sound like being sane is no fun. It's not... for the character. But the player of a sane character can have a lot of fun by being as annoying as possible. Make reasonable suggestion! Be logical! Criticize the other players' silly ideas and irresponsible actions! Don't stop until they make you Fall Down!
And, worst of all, any sane character will want to help his friends become sane. There is a Fifty Percent chance that he will decide to do this by betrying them to the Elderly Gods, and a Fifty Percent chance that he will try other means instead. (Thus, half of all sane characters are - secretly or opening - servents of Catchoolu!) The Animator makes this roll, too.
So, when someone loses all his Insanity, the Animator must notify him, by note, whether he is now obviously sane, and whether he is now a servant of Catchoolu!

Regaining Insanity
Various means may be found to restore lost Insanity. Some ar suggested below, but note that anyone who has become totally sane will like it and will loppose any attempt to restore him to normality. Tricks or force will be necessary. Awwwww...
If the character regains any Insanity at all, he can now act normally again. If he had become loyal to Catchoolu, he'll stop!
Any sane person who suffers a Maximum Boggle will regane his Insanity totoall if the person who made the die roll makes a roll of a natural 2 (a 1 on each die). Bonuses and penalties on the attacker's Shtick roll have no effect on the regaining of insanity.

Crawl of Catchoolu Shticks

Know Obscure Facts (4 points)
Someone with this Shtick can make a roll to see if he has ever heard or read anything concerning a given topic. These facts will always be about the current topic of interest, but may not always be useful or accurate. Obscure Facts (true or false) are a great way for Animators to get things moving in a different direction or set the characters up for a gag.
A sane character with Know Obscure Facts will constantly regale his friends with boring obscure facts of no interest whatsoever to a normal loony.

Abuse Magic
Mystics, and the like, in a Crawl of Catchoolu game could be able to learn spells just like the Magic-Abusers in a Dungeons & Toons game. This Shtick isn't necessary to cast Catchooloid Spells from forbidden texts and the like, anyone can do that... at a cost of Insanity!

Stuff

Books

Finding, translating, reading and even destroying books concerning the Catchoolu Mythos is an important part of an Investigator's (or Cultist's) job and the game. Animators should give out hints that a new text has been discovered, an old one has been found, a cult has a copy of a powerful book or any other book-connected event has taken place. This will often be all that you need to get an adventure started. Books are also the most usual way to cast spells.

How to Get Forbidden Books
There are two ways to get magical books. The hard way is by hearing a rumor that a book/scroll/stone tablet/whatever has been found in some far corner of the globe. They will then have to get to this place ahead of any other groups who want it.
Once there, the Animator can tell them several things, such as: the rumor was false, the rumor was true and another group got there first, the text is on its way to an auction in a major city, the text is there but guarded by Horrid Slimy Things or the text was sent to a buyer somewhere.
No matter what the Animator decides upon, the heroes should have to go through a long, action-packed adventure to get the book. If the book is extremely rare, other groups will certainly try to steal it from them. This can lead to even more frantic running around.
The other way to find Mythos books is the Easy Way. Using this method, the PCs just look in the yellow pages under "Ancien Occult Books" and choose the bookstore closest to them. Or they could go to teh local B. Dulltoon bookstore and head straight for the "Arcane Texts/Forbidden Lore" section. There they can find titles like Arcane Rituals for the Beginner, Catchoolu and Me: A Memoir, 1001 Facts About the Elderly Gods, and Dangerous Spellcasting Made Easy.
They might even notice that the children's section has titles like The Pop-Up Book of Forbidden Knowledge, My First Book of Slurping Horrors, and I Can Summon It All By Myself. Prices, of course, may be a bit on the high side and pitched battles (including gunshots and thrown pies0 with other patrons may take place.

Books You Shouldn't Read...but Probably Will, Anyway
The number in (parenthesis) is the amount of Insanity loss the Reader will suffer when he makes his Read roll successfully. If the Read roll is unsuccessful, it will only drain about half that much.
The Scroll of Falling Down and Other Depressing Things (1d+2)
Contains: The incredibly rare and valuable spell Maximum Boggle the Undead

Shameless Cults (1d)
Contains: Everything you wanted to know about any cult in the world.

Magicks of the Old Ones (1dx4)
Contains: Several terrible spells including Summon Tsaggywahaha in Tuxedo, COntrol Crisponion, and Open Cosmic Gateway Just a Little Bit. Casting any of these spells will require lots of preparation and drain a minimum of 2d+1 Insanity.

The Necronomicomizomicon (2dx8)
Contains: ????

Places to Go

In Crawl of Catchoolu, the PCs will often find themselves traveling in the far corners of the globe, or even through time or into alternate (and scary) dimentions. Some of the commonest destinations will be:

Mousekatonic University

The only university in the world that specializes in occoult sudies. Mousekatonic U. is located in the town of Darkham, Massachusetts and is not a very large school. There are only about 350 students and 30 teachers. Many teachers and quite a few upperclassmen are sane or well on their way to it.
The Mousekatonic library is an excellent place to do research, since they have the finest collection of Catchooloid books in the world. A little-known fact is that they have a copy of the Necronomicomizomicon written on the wall of the men's room in the Antisocial Studies Building. Reading this drains only yhalf as much insanity as reading a real copy.
It's pretty safe to say that more weird, bizarre, and unnatural things happen in and around Mousekatonic U than in any other spot on Earth. An interesting fact about the university itself is that it has at least six levels below ground. Whenever a basement would begin to get full, they just dug a new one below it. Some basements are connected by mazes of hallways. There aren't any maps for them. Most of the stuff in these basements has been there so long that accurate inventories no longer exist. It is also rumored that "things" live in the deepest levels. Maybe the characters can go check out these rumors, hmmm?

Tombs

These can be small, simple stuctures, or they can be monoliths the size of the Pyramids of Cheop Suey. Tombs are always spooky and dangerous places. Monsters like to hang out in tombs, waiting for their next meal.

Lost Cities

Temples

Places Around Town

People (and Other Things) to Meet

Catchoolu (1dx10 Insanity Loss)

Crisponions (1dx3)

Shadee Mel (1dx6)

Deep Clowns (0)

Father Dorgong and Mother Hydrant (0)

Elder Thugs (1dx3)

Flying Porklips (1dx4)

Hamstur the Unbearable - He Who Should Not Be Smelled (seeing: 1dx3; smelling: 2dx4)

Nyuknyuknyukyaschlep (2dx4)

Qwertyuiop Asdfghjkl Zxcvbnm - The Horror Whose Name Can't Be Pronounced (?x?)

Tsaggywahaha - The Unfunny One (2dx10)

Shiftless Spawn of Tsaggywahaha (1dx3)

Yuk (2dx10)

Slobboths (2dx3)

Yu-Go, the Fungi From Cleveland (2d+1)

Zok-Hotdog (0)

Other Monsters
Almost any other conceivable monster could be a servant of Mighty Catchoolu and His Pals. Vampires, werewolves, ghosts and other creatures of the night are described in the Dungeons and Toons chapter. If you want something bigger, try Atomic Monster Theatre for Giant Creatuers of all varieties. Or create your own Horrors from Beyond!


The Insanity Loss Table

If a character has lost half his Insanity, he will...
11: Develop a taste for daytime TV
12: Correct people's grammer and spelling
13: Say "That's not funny" all the time
14: Say "Oh, I get it!" but never really get it
15: Ask to have jokes explained
16: Try to explain jokes to other people
21: Worry out loud about income tax
22: Worry out loud about "fairness" of things the party does
23: Talk incessantly about his boring hobbies
24: Begin every sentence with "Excuse me, but..."
25: Argue about game rules (in character)
26: Want to study Catchooloid biology
31: Constantly make metaphysical observations
32: Say "thustly" and "therefore" all the time
33: Dress in tweeds
34: Reorganize his sock drawer every day
35: Criticize others' personal hygiene
36: Criticize his own hygiene
41: Take up croquet
42: Wear lots of polyester
43: Study sociology
44: Check out books from the library
45: Check out 8-track tapes from the library
46: Make daily menus for himself
51: Make daily menus for the rest of the party
52: Carry lots of pens wherever he goes
53: Wear tube socks
54: Buy a new briefcase
55: Hum Barry Manilow songs constantly
56: Make little labels for everything
61: Practice speaking in front of mirrors
62: Eat in cafeterias
63: Want to study Catchooloid psychology
64: Always talk in a monotone
65: Take vitamins every day
66: Spen Friday nights at home

If a character has lost all of his Insanity, he will...


11: Become an accountant
12: Open a health food store
13: Go to law school
14: Become a motician
15: Collect Lawrence Welk memorabilia
16: Drink only tea with rose hips
21: Learn to waltz
22: Wear a filter mask whenever he goes outside
23: Start smoking a pipe
24: Put plastic on all funiture (even others')
25: Buy tapes of elevator music and play them constantly
26: Recite long theological proofs
31: Refinance his mortgage
32: Refuse to shake hands with people
33: Brush his teeth after every meal
34: Become a court reporter and record everything
35: Take up wargaming
36: Become a philosophy professor
41: Boil any liquid before drinking it
42: Take up counted cross stitches
43: Carry a portable TV, tuned to a network news
44: Worry out loud about his net worth
45: Try to become a contestant on a TV game show
46: Start each sentence with "It's a little-known fact ..."
51: Wear only gray suits
52: Become an insurance salesman
53: Insist on getting a weekly pedicure
54: Call Time & Temperature whenever he's near a phone
55: Constantly whine about not getting jury duty
56: Incessantly complain about the humidity
61: Write letter to his congressman about everything that bothers him
62: Offer to mow people's lawns for free
63: Give the scientific name for every plant or animal he sees
64: Write a fan letter every day to Jonny Mathis
65: Always drive 10 mph under the speed limit
66: Quote obscure philosophers ("As Leibniz once said...")