MONDAY30JUNE2003
i don't want to come back to drama. (repeat x5)
oh, but aimee made my day again:
blahblah :D
and i hope andrea and aimee feel better. I still look forward to seeing the daria that recorded crappily (?) on my tv.
parents are evil evil beings put on this earth to remind us how things can never get too good, and how easy we can be controlled. well, most of the time.
so after having a fun week with lots of wonderful people my week kinda goes downhill,
all with one pitiful weekend.
Before i start talking about how ugly this trip felt, i'll show you pictures of how it wasn't ugly like i explain:
1 @ 2 @ 3 @ 4
so yeah, i knew i had to go to catalina, but only for a day. so my mom thinks its fun to come into
my room saturday morning after i hadn't slept the previous 24 hours, to tell me "oh sarah, pack for 2 days,
we're staying 2 nights." ohhhh i can see the joy on her face in making me soo angry. But i was so
tired and drained i really couldn't react, and merely whimpered a few words of protest under my breath
while dragging myself onto the boat. i mealted onto the couch and slept for about 24 loong hours.
waking up the next day my whole body was soar,
my mom thinks its fun to yell at me some more. First i'd be grounded if i didn't go
to this island prison, now i'd be grounded if i didn't get up and do anything. She was mad because I hadn't
eaten anything either and was ..gaah! So, how do i go about this? I quickly change, then jump into the water. it was so cold, it
hurt my body so bad. ouch. THEN my parents tell me to get out b/c i'm gonna catch cold. I didn't care about
how cold it was i felt so "grrr" and well, if you're ever in the water and someone is fishing next to you,
it creates a lot of paranoia. i couldn't even tell WHAT they were catching. then i started seeing some small
fish under me..nothing unormal. but then i started thinking of the seals that swim around there and eat the fish,
or of the sharks that eat the seals and sealions. i couldn't decipher stuff from the surface reflecting in the water
from what was really in the water. And considering i wasn't really simming around and just wading there..
i got very uncomfortable. I can't remember the rest, its all blurry. The rest of the trip sucked, i hate my parents,
but look at me, i'm not -grounded-. my head is still spinning,
and i'm having a hard time sitting straight in my chair. i'm not complaining, i just need to get it out of my system. i missed you
all, and welcome back cheyenne. I'm going to go take a shower and recover.
TUESDAY26JUNE2003
Who walks alone in the shadows of the night? Why
BATMAN, of course! This mysterious and tortured
creature eptitimizes the word BROOD. Even with
his bird-themed sidekicks, this Dark Knight
always walks alone, emersed in his obsession
for justice. Can a woman ever hope to come
close to his haunted heart? I bet you'd like to
try.
Which sexy superhero is meant to save you?
brought to you by Quizilla
you know what?
-asian soda sure is great
-everyone is getting a job
-i'm not getting a job
-wisdom teeth are terrible terrible things
-i generally don't like people
-i hate people who won't listen to anyone but themselves, and
are convinced they're right, regardless.
-music is a great thing but it's overrated
-flavored water is delicious and nostalgic
-pee-wee herman is insane
-money is only nice when you have it
-i can't park
-putting meatballs into soup is pure brilliance
-reminicing on the past isn't very fun
-aimee's great cuz she gave me a LIGHTER, oh boy oh boy
-johnny depp looks good in orange
-lots has happend in the past week
but its just a lot of typing and reading...
so i'm sparing my time and yours. I meet people, we hang out. much different
from last summer. the end.
there's something really intreaging about unhappy movies. I saw some movie
on tv called "Liam".
Liam was some story of a small boy and his family whose father was turning toward Fascism, but it really showed the harshness of religion, school, money, dicipline, family, and england in the 1930's. it wasn't spectaclar or anything, but i think it seemed great b/c i was in the mood to watch it.
SUNDAY22JUNE2003
i've come to realize something. i can be REALLY cruel sometimes. i was just recently thinking of a certain incident and it dawned on me. But my cruelty is very very unusual. It's the kind of cruelty that you don't know is there or that you can't see, but it exists. "What do you mean?" you may ask. Well, a lot of people tell me i am nice. but part of that makes me even crueler. several accounts i have acted nice to people purely for my own benefit, or also i don't really mean what i'm telling someone. but i commit all this in a "nice" way. SO all toghether, people aren't even aware of my cruedness, making the reality of how i'm acting -even more cruel-. Forms of this are lies, but lies just to make people feel better. So would that make a person cruel if their intent is genuine? Well, honestly i don't give a shit. A lot of people are like that, but i do know that from now on, any -kindness- coming from me will be genuine..i guess meaning honest. So that when people keep saying "you are nice sarah", it will actually mean something.And stuff like that is important, b/c we need to live our lives happily.
And i've gotten much better at this since school has been out. I feel like i'm actually living again, or waking up is a better way to put it. I dread to think about starting again next september, to shrivel up and die all over again in misery. School just never feels right to me. I react better with people OFF campus. but thinking about next year makes me UN-happy, and i won't stand for that right now. Enough of this.
Maybe staying up till 7am on the internet isn't always the best idea...
Guessing games with aimee b and shane are surprisingly fun and entertaining
thouh.
but i went to Lake Arrowhead with my mom today none-the-less. But
i think i only did it because it would make her happy. even though
it made me kinda not-happy, was that the best choice? But she's
the most frightening driver..i really thought i might have gotten killed today.
So we finally bought Amelie and a bunch of other movies, so i was
veeeery glad about that. We bought food too, then came back to the
cabin/house/whatever place and watched Moulin Rouge. Oh wow, I love
that movie. It should have won best picture last year..b/c i found
A Beautiful Mind (which won best picture instead) kind of dull. The
only thing good about that movie was Russel Crowe, and he was superb
in that movie. Anyway, after that we played chess, and i easily won
(i'm actually pretty good at chess) and at the same time we were
watching Charlie and the Chocolate factory on t.v. THAT is the
CRAZIEST movie..how great. Next we went out for a walk and it was
PITCH BLACK outside. very exciting. I saw about 5000 stars in the
sky including the milky way, so it was a very beautiful thing.
After that i felt OK about coming here. But I could have seen a
foreign film with Nazly Andrea and other wonderful people today. Amber
really needs to come back! Oh
well, we'll do that later this week. I'm pretty sick of typing now
and i think i'm gonna go read or watch yet another movie.
so this is farewell.
SATURDAY21JUNE2003
My head hurts right now and i don't feel like going into the detail of explaining the page changes. But i will anyway later.How great is it when you go painting with friends at the park. Miiiiiiggghty fun. But suddenly hearing a high shreek, and then a ::THUD:: while seeing an object violently hitting the ground is a bit distracting. I'm so glad i'm not a bird. Being attacked by vicious hawks in the sky and instantly getting killed and falling to the ground can't be much fun. Drea saw to it that the body was not mutilated in death. So yeah, i got to paint, and that was preeeetty damn fun. I painted a Bee for B, the perfect london and car for shane, and a giant fat marshmellow for andrea. And Bijan graffiti'd up the trees, but it was odd too see "Jesus Tree" or whatever painted on it. B, you're silly sometimes. After Andrea had to leave it was good randomness at barns and noble. But goddamn those freaky old men who like to stare at groups of kids. Maybe the guy was just lonely..but that was freakin creepy. I don't want to be an old man like that, EVER.
Oh my goodness, Aimee sent me this and it's just sooo great. I love it aimee.
Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
You are Optimus Prime!
Vast, red and ready to turn into a lorry at the slightest provocation, you are a robot to be reckoned with. Although sickeningly noble, you just can't resist a good interplanetary war, especially when Orson Welles is involved. You have friends who can shoot tapes from their chests. Tapes that turn into panthers. And other friends who are dinosaurs. Dinosaurs who jump out of planes. Will you have my children?
So what hell this was to get this layout going. Here I think i can use the
-framework- from this site, for me being too lazy to design the
layering myself. Taken as a compliment or not,
and feeling apologetic about it, that'd still be called "steeling", eh? And before I mess up the
original design I get caught for it :( guess i really don't know about the net after
all. So hearing what crap my layout was from that, I just went ahead and
created basically the same design, but on my OWN.THERE, so NO MORE comments
about my shitty retarded lame whatever you wanna call it layout. Though none are reading it now.
maybe i'll avoid internet enemies, or pissing people off over the net from now on.
WEDNESDAY18JUNE2003
"i'm gonna give up the word "emo" for the next lent i think"
So, today i get to cook. yesterday i was busy, but saw a beautiful looking male who caught me by surprise for a convo. and i couldn't respond properly. he was wearing a cool hat. oh boo, i'm sick of typing.
BURN IN HELL.. YOU TEENAGERS. teenagers suck. |
TUESDAY17JUNE2003
"Life..is like a cookie."
 Which Famous Homosexual are you? Brought to you by Rum and Monkey Put out my flaming heart-fires, you're Mychal Judge! The chaplain to the New York Fire Department was tragically killed when one of the World Trade Center towers collapsed on September 11, 2001. You provided years of Christian service, and will be remembered forever for your heroism. You're also gay. You provided a home for an AIDS ministry; you funded and supported the gay-friendly Queens St. Patrick's Day parade; you stood against a prominent Cardinal on a 1986 gay rights bill and were falsely accused of child molestation as a result. You rule.
Well i don't really know where to start. School is out. Thank god. But I was actually kinda sad for once. Of course that all went away in one day. lalala. i'm free.
Alright what next. friday? i don't remember friday. wait, yes i do. It was a bad experience so i alsmost successfully blanked it out of my head. My sister needed me to drop off some stuff to her (over by the Queen Mary) hotel. So i got some directions from shitty mapquest and was on my way out. Turns out one street was missing, and well..ruined everything. I ended up on a freeway and got lost. It was quite the misadventure..but i succesfully routed my way out and lived. HAH. What next, saturday? I went to the mall for jenni's bday. We ate bobba, i felt very asian, and shopped around. But i was broke and unable to buy anything. Oh well. I totally ruined my dad's fathers' day on Sunday. We were gonna go somewhere, but i got mad at him for no reason that morning. I can't even remember correctly. I was so mad at myself after that, so i felt miserable the entire day for ruining his day and mine. I was so sad. Anyway, i was too stubborn and upset at myself to apologize. What a bad day. Today. well i saw bruce almighty with vincent and i ruined his seatbelt. I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know what to do.
this week we'll have another movie night. Amber posted hilarious pics from last one. sorry amber, i have to steal these and use them. See them at her site though too. Important note: I'm losing interest quickly in this freaking "blog" ordeal. I see no interest in my life. I'm actually enjoying other's more at the moment (mostly complete strangers). This calls for drastic changes i think... |
WEDNESDAY11JUNE2003
"We're not going to some white collar resort prison. No, no, no! We're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison!" So i zoned out in class the other day, and wondered what I would do if 2000 ninjas invaded the classroom and started throwing hamsters at us. |
MONDAY9JUNE2003
"He was a foul fog."
I'm a foul fog.
this quiz by orsa Well, that explains a lot. |
SUNDAY8JUNE2003
"I'd rather be hated for who I am, rather than respected for who I'm not."
Ahhh, fak ur mum! |
FRIDAY6JUNE2003
"If I had any more holes [in my body] I'd have internet connection."
my poor computer. i've burned 5 cds on it in the past 24 hours..and i have about 17 to go!! it's gonna start haemorraging(sp). my parents can be sooo weird sometimes. Like tonight for example. We went out to some Italian place, me, my dad, my mom, my sister, and her friend samaya (sp?). I ordered spaghetti with meatballs and my dad orders spaghetti with sausage. When we get it I have two HUGE meatballs and my dad has two HUUUGE sausages. so of course he thinks it's very funny to say "here sarah, you can have the sausage, i only want one.." and puts the huge sausage in between the two huge meatballs. wow, nice to know my dad is so good at acting like a high school boy, and disgusting me before my meal. parents. jeeeZUZ.
I went over to drea's today and helped her out with her webpage, but after that we went for a nice long walk. A bug flew into my eye, but she had her huge kickass glasses, so she didn't have that problem. It was a slight dilemma, but a nice walk nonetheless. |
THURSDAY5JUNE2003
"DenJi429 (11:48:39 PM): omg
Signing yearbooks SUCKS. it's a tedius task, and i've had enough of it.
So there are some weird kids in my English class. Like today for example. One
guy was seeing how many class-laps he could make. so he made it 45 times around the classroom when Mr. Harris finally told him to sit down. Well it was fun to watch.
I saw a ad on tv today for the WWE, but they were playing COLDPLAY with it. the hell??? what an abuse of music.
And sorry i didn't get ur pictures up aimee. i'm kinda tired. -_- 5 more days, meh. |
WEDNESDAY4JUNE2003
"Who are you? Am I alone?" hmm interesting day.
some people get into a habit of lying so much (referring to "a white lie"), that it feels unnatural to speak a
truth to another.
this is me:
enough with the intellectual crap, there was a fiasco yesterday.
Neymi called me up yesterday afternoon and told me of a car that had driven through her wall.
Sure enough, a car did, off of the corner of Hile, right into her backyard. I thought I'd see it for myself..
too bad i missed the car. It was towed away right before I got there: I had a crazy dream last night. My sister and I were out on some dock. I looked down into the water, and saw bloody mutilated, torn, broken, gutted fish. Pretty gross. Then i see an eye. Ah shit i think, the "thing" jumps out of the water at Kristin, but she dodges it with only a small wound to her leg. It was a baracuda charging us and jumping around. But then i saw like 50 of them. This all intertwined with some other event in my dream, but well, it was weird. I slept with the window open last night, maybe that's what seemed odd. but it was refreshing. Think that baracuda thought came from seeing the movie Finding Nemo (hilarious, u should all see it) when there was that waaay freaky scary ass baracuda in the beginning. well, dreams are cool. Saw all of animatrix today. very very appeasing. my favorites were A Detective Story and Beyond. You should all see that too.
Oh, very funny thing that happend today, but a little frightening. Amber thought it would be funny to jam
andrea in the boob today (silly amber, how like her ;p) and andrea freaked out and was like BOOYA and slapped amber across
the face, HARD! I was a little worried when i saw a guy walk by with a very excited look on his face. Well thats
boys. sorry, no catfight. only awkward apologies after that. but man drea..the affect those fishnets and aimee's red
skirt can have on
you when you wear them..V.I.C.I.O.U.S. Happy birthday Jenni. Have a sweet 16!
(look i'm updating daily again, aren't you happy?) |
TUESDAY3JUNE2003
"Chuuuu!"
Ever since i've been burning amber that cd, i've been listening to tori amos (only since yesterday ;p) oh well. good music. I had a bad scenario before world history today, luckily my mom dropped off the veeeerry important paper i forgot. that's what mommies are for, thank you mom. meh, i don't really have much to say. I'm gonna go play video games. and i've had a terrible sleeping problem lately. just an fyi. only 7 more days left and counting... |
MONDAY2JUNE2003
"I've had it. goodbye cruel world..::splash::
(look, my site is fixed)
what do you say when someone's in a bad situation? someone i know tried to kill themselves this weekend.
christ, what do you say to that? especially when u don't know them personally. you cant just rub it off and
think, well i don't know them closely anyway, if i ignore it i won't know of it ever again. but you don't know
them enough to really be there and talk. its an awkward fix and if they're reading this i hope they know that
i care, and other people care. we are good friends, even though we havn't really met. life is a bad bitch but
it's no one elses but your own..its hard to remember the good things when you're thinking about the bad.
give stuff a chance.
so i've been snooping around..and i feel a little bit dirty.
isn't that exciting? yes, it's factfull, ppl do "bad stuff" for the rush and the thrill of it all.
b/c it makes them feel so "good"..
and more excepted. i went to the movies today, but the newspaper lied to me and i had the wrong time. also i thought the current time was 1;30 but it was actually 2;30..so that messed it up a little bit too. so i went to the mall, and they had a big Lifetime (tv for women) thing goin on. so i got a bunch of free Dove products and saw this kiis fm (gag) dj. it was an event.
big movie night! finally got to have it. aimee andrea amber, it was fuuuun stuff!
then the other day i watched wet hot american summer with my sister and her friend anthony (?). well it
was an adventure.
anyone drink alcohol for the taste? i wonder.. you either drink as a teen to get drunk or to look "cool", a word i
hate to use as a label. rediculous bastards.
i got my hair cut today. the lady was vicious and insulted my coloring job (hair). i was saddend by this comment
and was reminded why i hate going to hair salons so much. i'm sorry if i don't want to talk to you lady. go talk
to your mirror. you hurt my head and broke my earing. vicous nails..pain.. i think i'm gonna go play video games,
drink soda, watch cheesy movies, and go recover. the past week has gutted the last inch of me.
speaking of which, i saw a homeless person today, (apparently a rarity in shitty hb, actualy it was in longbeach)
and she wasn't one of those homeless-homeless persons, but a insane-leave-the-house-to-scare-people-homeless
persons. anyway, she had a towel on her head and was prancing around with a sign saying "food! godbless!"
or something. and i immediately connected this woman with how i felt would turn out, on those weeknights
when it's 2:39am and i'm sitting staring at the wall trying to do homework but can't manage to even look at it.
i spend more time TRYING to do (meaning just sitting looking and dreading) my hw than i actually am
DOING my hw.
but the main point i was getting to, was that when i was driving to get matrix tickets again last week or so
i saw a homeless (meaning homless-homeless) guy washing his hair in a small plastic rock founting outside
a gas station. with soap. i was impressed.
ok, anyone who loves poetry loves music.
my problem: i don't listen to lyrics, and i don't like poetry.
i feel the grooooove, oh yeah, i just loove saying that.
well, i feel so "emo"tional for writing all this. haha, well no i don't, but i wanted to say that
these long messages aren't like me cuz sometimes their tedious to read. but i hadn't updated
i'm bored and got lost in typing wee.
oh and thanks amber for making a site layout for me. i'm using this one right now, but i may use urs next month. it's way kickass and i think i like it better.
so it's 2:30am. i guess i should sleep. and suffer. only 9 more days, and counting.
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