sometimes i really, REALLY hate my situation. in economics today i get some kind of box sent to me from the office. i was like okay..whatever, open it up... inside is this extremely overdone set of graduation letters. i mean, as if its not bad enough that my school is scaring me into thinking i'm not gonna graduate in the first place, my mom has to go and order a really nice set of grad announcements so everyone knows about it.

Sure thats only 'normal', but I'm still thinking, what if i dont graduate? Ms Ellis seriously lacked any sympathy when it came to informing me of my attendence contract..and got even more flustered when i went to remind her i would be missing two weeks (without choice) to go to Europe.

With the ridiculous amounts of stress and the frustrating situations that whole thing caused with my parents and i (on top of the over-reaction my mother had to my D in econ and her childish 'dealings' with it..), its a bit much for me to handle.
i dont know why i should be worried about graduating or not; never in my life did i think THAT would be a problem.. (though my 1st semester attendence made it one, sadly). and how can they hold you off due to one semester of bad attendence? and sure you can pass a required course with a D, i cant help it if mrs. peterson is a fucking ditz and doesn't know how to keep a class.. plus i hate econ..its not my subject, yet i'm DOING the work..just not well. so? why do i have to worry about this shit.

so as for the grad announcements, it pisses me off. here, school is the epitemy of my hatred and distaste, graduating is no "big event" for me, i just want to get out of here.

Why make it an issue?
why spend SIXTY SEVEN FUCKING BUCKS on these over-the-top fancy grad announcements bearing the lovely marina logo (anything representing this school makes me want to puke) when i could barely be passing? the golden shield award nomination i got? HOW is that noteworthy when the class it's for consists of stoners and retards? sure i can stand out among that, until a big fat stoner himself is nominated as well cause he THINKS he knows what he's doing? in any case, this is off the subject and not worth explaining.

I dont want anyone to put their attention into my schooling situation, its definately not a good one in any aspect. good job mom in the finishing touch of things with a big attention label: "HEY look at sarah she's graduating--and try to ignore the 98347faults she's managed at this place that she hopefully CAN graduate from". she's trying to put a fancy label on this to make it seem like it was a 'good experience' in 10years or some shit..

should i even be as mad as i am about this? probably not. its really just something to blame.
i feel so braindead.

that and the fact i cant really think rationally at the moment cause its 4th period and i'm in my VE class, and the girl behind me wont stop talking as loud as she possibly can: "SCOTT, OMG SCOTT YOU'RE NOT LISTENING, LOOK AT ME, THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND ME"...

seriously, why is everyone so god damn fucking annoying?