first week of school i was thinking: ya, no problem i can get through this year ok. its not gonna be too bad, breeze by, get on with things when its over,
but now everything is turning to shit again and last year is starting to repeat itself, except 10x worse.
so my entire day consisted of being at the public library doing nothing.
September 23rd, 2004
so i open up the ELEEEEEEET starwars dvd set today, only to find it had been like..'pre-opened' or some crap like that. the paper box seals on the side were all torn up, parts of the plastic cd holder inside the dvd box were broken off..like, wtf? $50 and you sell me an opened dvd set? really disappointing.
driving to school today i see a wreck, that sucks, what an awful way to start the day.
1st period i realize how much i hate my physiology teacher. We had another lab to do inclass today; she came up to the lab tables, looked at all our labs and starts criticizing them, saying how bad they were, pointing out little things she didn't like, saying how everything we were doing was wrong, and that we weren't trying (even though we were following directions). I pointed out to her how my drawing wasn't incorrect like she said, and how it matched the drawing in the phys.book. She flat out accused me of lying and says "oh i see, so you're just copying the drawing in the book huh? uhhuh.." I say no, and she just ignores me and blows me off. I gave her the dirtiest look. I'd had it, i dont get myself up so early every morning, get myself to school and in class on time to put up with that kind of shit. I hate her, she was discouraging all of her students, she hasn't been teaching us any material that our chapter assignments have been based on, its ridiculous. I dont think i've ever disliked a teacher so much, i was ready to throw somthing at her.
i had to take a 100question test (mostly reading--i hate those) in a freezing classroom today in english..which sucked..
my ROP class smelled of tar today cause of the roof construction going on, so we had to sit outside and do nothing all period. you can imagine how much i hated that.
k this is boring.
just another post about how much i didn't like my day at school.
September 21st, 2004
"We eat, we shit, we fuck, we die."
I think that quote sums it up, no?
Go watch Quills (again).
In a position where i'm not really paying attention and my mind is starting to wander, probably just cause school started again, but eh, i'm so used to these droops i'm having that i can just laugh at it now. I'm not putting my efforts anywhere and you know what? thats not changing, thats the kind of person I am right now. Happy with it or not I'm not gonna stress about it and try to make myself a "better person".
Everything is based on how you view it: you're feeling good in the morning and have a good mindset, then you're gonna have an awesome day. You feel like crap when you wake up? everything is gonna seem like shit. No more trying to change how I am to please myself and others, cause its not working. I'll do my own thing and think what i want to think tyvm. Yes the psychiatrist is completely pointless--getting more exercize/sleep/overall health improvement might make me feel better. but you know what? i dont care~ just a small rant to myself.
"Robin didn't make it to the ledge".
Vote Andrea for Homecoming Queen. I'm wearing my shirt tomorrow.