Notable Quotables From The Bluejays

"The Bluejays love beer and beer loves the Bluejays" - Jim Mc

"Bluejays who drink 'lite' beer don't love beer, they really just love to pee alot" - Hany B

"I drink beer to make the other Bluejays funny" - Ed C

"Remember: 'i' before 'e', except in Budweiser" - Steve O'

"To some it's a six pack; to the Bluejays it's a support group" - Peter B

"Fermentation was a greater discovery than fire" - Frank D

"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy" - Rob S

"I had so much beer one night I waited for a STOP sign to change. And it did." - Chris D

"The Bluejays usually work until beer o'clock" - Stewie

"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time" - Richie S

"When you participate in a Bluejays sporting event, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how much beer you drink." - Bob H

"I never drink beer unless I'm alone or with someone else." - Tom M

"A well-balanced person is someone with a beer in each hand." - Joe F

"If I had all the money I spent on beer, I'd go out and spend it all on beer." - Kevin T

"I love beer as long as it isn't in moderation." - Buddy T

"Beer is the answer. I don't remember the question." - Joe K

"Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean; against walls, poles, phone booths, bars." - Norm L

"My favorite beer is the next one." - Chris P

"I get intoxicated on one beer. I think is either the 13th one or 14th one." - Dan F

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?" - Stewie

"If God had intended for us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs." - Brett G

"Give us women who love beer and we'd never lose." - Peter B

"Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder." - Frank D

"Why does beer need a born-on date? Hell, we're in the delivery room." - Buddy T

"Beer makes us feel the way we oughta feel without beer." - Richie S

"Women are a lot like beer. They look good, smell good, and a Bluejay would do anything to get one." - Dave H

"Beer is proof that God loves the Bluejays and wants them to be happy." - Jim Mc

"The problem with the Bluejays is that when they're not drunk, they're sober." - Bob H

"Blue Jays players always complain about not playing enough. It's what they do best, not play" - Ron F

"They had better defense at Pearl Harbor than the Blue Jays had last season" - Dan F

"Softball is supposed to be a non-contact sport, but our hitters have taken that too literally." - Brett G

"Defensively, the Blue Jays are like Stonehenge. They are old, they don't move, and no one knows why they are positioned the way they are." - Stewie

"The Bluejays think lacrosse is what you find in la church" - Buddy T

"The Blue Jays are the kind of guys who plunge a knife in your back, and then call the police to tell them you're carrying a concealed weapon." - Peter B

"If God had meant for the Bluejays to ski, bullshit would be white" - Jim Mc

"The Bluejays admire any softball player who has no talent and is modest about it" - Chuck S

"The Bluejays want to be little boys when they grow up" - Bob H

"The Bluejays are better obscene than heard" - Rob S

"When the Bluejays were kids, even their imaginary friends wouldn't play with them" - Kevin T

"The Bluejays are outdoorsy kinda guys. They love nature in spite of what it did to them" - Ron F

"Being the Bluejays designated driver is a real pain. If I ever get sucked into doing it, I'll drop them all off at the wrong house. They'll never know the difference" - Joe K

"God gave each of the Bluejays a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one" - Richie S

"I learned how to swim when the Bluejays threw me into Ron's pool. Later, they told me they weren't trying to teach me how to swim." - Chris D

"The Bluejays have a big future behind them" - Chris P

"A Bluejay is a guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening" - Dave H

"Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same when you're married to a Bluejay" - Bluejay wife

"Suppose you were an idiot...And suppose you were a Bluejay ...Wait, I'm repeating myself" - Chuck B

"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten" - Frank D

"If you get a headache, do what it says on the bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"" - John Mc

"My earned run average is so high it looks like an FM radio station" - Ron F

"Errors are part of the game, but Abner Doubleday was a jerk for inventing them" - Buddy T

"I could have played a couple more years. All I needed was a leg transplant" - John Mc

"Maybe I have lost a step or two, but I had a lot to lose" - David H

"It's not whether you win or lose but who gets the blame" - Chris D

"My only feeling about superstition is that it is unlucky to be behind at the end of the game" - Frank D

"All Blue Jays are bilingual. They speak English and they speak profanity" - Dan F

"A slump is like a soft bed, easy to get into but hard to get out of." - Stewie

"All teams are an extension of their managers' personalities. That's why the Blue Jays are obnoxious and inept" - Peter B

"I quit managing because of illness and fatigue. The Blue Jays were sick and tired of me" - Jim Mc

"The Blue Jays are so bad they consider a 2-0 count a rally" - Bob H

"When it comes to softball, my dad learned my everything I know. Unfortunately, I didn't learn everything HE knows" - Chris P

"I've been sitting on the bench so long the other Bluejays call me "Judge"" - Chuck S

"I'm known as a role player. Next game I'm going to play Hamlet" - Rob S

"Tell a Bluejay something a thousand times, and then tell him again. That might be the time he gets it" - Brett G

"I'm thinking about quitting. I can't learn all those weird Bluejays handshakes" - Richie S

"Signing autographs was fun until I saw a kid throw mine on the ground and say "This will never be worth anything"" - Kevin T

"I don't want to achieve immortality by making the Blue Jays Hall of fame. I want to achieve immortality by not dying" - Norm L

"That's what it takes to be a Champion" - Frank D

"We have a lot of deep depth" - Bob H

"We're all in this together, by ourselves" - Dan F

"Alright guys, tonite's batting order is alphabetical by height" - Jim Mc

"I was Bluejays Rookie of the Year in my second season" - Bill S (Stewie)

"It's never happened in Blue Jays history, and it hasn't happened since" - Brett G

"I usually take a one hour nap before a game, from 2:00 to 4:00" - Frank D

"I found a delivery in my flaw and now I'm working on a new pitch. It's called a strike" - Chuck S

"There are a lot of crooks and nannies on the Klock Small field" - Kevin T

"When I'm in a slump, the field looks like one big glove" - Chris P

"He ain't no rocket surgeon" - Ron F

"You're only young once but you can be immature all your life" - Bluejays Motto

"I really didn't say everything I said" - Chris D

"His reputation preceded him before he got here" - Peter B

"I found a swing in my hitch but I ain't in no slump. I'm just not hitting" - Buddy T

"Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk" - Rob S

"How lucky are Blue Jays opponents? They always play us when we don't score any runs" - Norm L

"We hit the ball right where they could show off their defensive ability" - Richie S

"The wind always seems to blow against the Blue Jays when they're hitting" - Joe K

"Wait 'til it stops rolling, walk over, pick it up, and throw it back to the infield" - Rob S

"So I'm ugly, so what? I never saw anyone hit with his face" - George Mc

"Little League baseball is a good thing. It keeps Bluejay parents off the streets." - Chris D

"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts" - Tim S

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it" - Bob H

"The only thing I know about pitching is that it's hard to hit" - Chuck S

"There comes a time in every young man's life, and I've had plenty of them" - John Mc

"Some teams achieve incompetence in a single year. The Blue Jays have worked for 12 years to reach that level of proficiency" - Jim Mc

"I was fined $500 after the cops picked me up at 3:00 a.m; $300 for being drunk and $200 for being a Bluejay." - Anon

"They had us with the walls to our back" - Carl R

"Rome wasn't born in a day" - Jim S

"That was the nail that broke the coffin's back" - Dave A

"It's all water under the dam" - Christian L

"Don't fail to miss next week's game" - Noel L

"I've got nothing to say and I'll only say it once" - Peter R

"Hit'em where they ain't" - Chris D

"I slid into second with a standup double" - Rob S

"Good pitching will always beat good hitting, and vice versa" - Norm L

"That play robbed me of at least a home run, if not a triple" - Peter B

"I'm not the player I used to be, but who the hell is" - Dave H

"The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing" - Buddy T

"I swung, missed, and fouled it back" - Kevin T

"It ain't over 'til the fat Bluejay sings" - Richie S

"I was such a dangerous hitter, I got an intentional walk during batting practice" - Chuck B

"We made too many wrong mistakes" - Chuck S

"Ninety percent of this game is half mental" - Chris P

"Nobody goes to Rico's anymore, it's too crowded" - Ron F

"You can observe a lot by watching" - Bob H

"It gets late early out in center field" - Joe K

"Who's that loudmouth on the Tiger's bench, I'd like to punch him in the throat" - John Mc

"If women don't want to come to our games, we can't stop 'em" - Bill S

"The secret of managing the Blue Jays is to keep the guys who hate you away from those who are undecided" - Jim Mc

"There are two types of Bluejay players: those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happened" - Paul W