BLUE CAGE

VM: I can’t remember the last time I posted a new part^^;; gomen ne! thanks to all of you who are still reading this fic~

Part 15

Toshiya pressed the doorbell to Die’s apartment. The door opened a crack.

“ Dare ka?” Die’s voice came from inside.

Toshiya smiled and slapped a hand against the door. “ Stop fooling around! I’m starving already!”

The redhead unchained the door and let the tall bassist in. The air smelt fragrant of roses and there were rose petals scattered in a vague line across the living room. Toshiya closed his eyes as Die wrapped his arms around his body from behind and planted a kiss on his neck.

“ Die,” Toshiya followed as the other man took his hand and led him. “ Don’t tell me we’re having candle-lit dinner in your room?”

Die pushed the bedroom door open and Toshiya’s eyes widened at the sight of bouquets of roses surrounding the bed. “ You’re the main meal,” Die said, pulling Toshiya close and kissing his lips fervently.

The younger man chuckled as Die pushed him down onto the bed. “ Hey, I’m not a girl. You didn’t have to go through all this romance stuff to get me to sleep with you!”

“ You don’t like?” Die pouted.

Toshiya traced Die’s pouty lip with his thumb before replacing it with a gentle peck of lips. “ I’m touched, Die…no one has done anything like this for me before…”

“ And you know what, I never did anything like this for anyone else before either. Not a girl, not a guy; just you.” Die answered as he lowered his face against Toshiya’s neck and nibbled at the soft skin there. His fingers slowly undid the buttons of Toshiya’s blouse.

Toshiya lay still, brushing his fingers through the fiery red strands of Die’s hair. “ You treat me so good…” He closed his eyes and he saw in his mind the blue pendant that Kaoru had on earlier that day. Suddenly he felt uncomfortable and tensed up when Die’s hands reached between his legs.

Die pulled away. “ Doushite?”

The bassist forced a weak smile. “ Betsuni…um. Maybe I’m just hungry. I didn’t eat anything since those red bean cakes this morning.”

Die just nodded, even though he knew something was wrong with Toshiya. “ Let’s get something to eat then. What do you want?” While Toshiya was buttoning his top, Die could still see the faded bruises that Kaoru had given him.

Did Kaoru do something back at the studio? If he did, Toshiya would surely tell me, wouldn’t he?

“ Let’s order pizza,” Toshiya said but he wasn’t looking at Die.

“ Okay.”

They both got up the bed. “ I’ll make the call. What toppings do you want?” Toshiya asked.

Die grabbed Toshiya by his wrist.

“ Nani?” the younger man turned around, puzzled.

I can’t pretend to be okay if there’s a chance that Kaoru’s still hurting Toshiya. I promised him I will protect him..so I can’t look away.

“ Did Kaoru hurt you again?” Die asked in a serious tone as his eyes scanned Toshiya’s face for his expression.

Toshiya was taken aback by the sudden question. “ No,” he denied.

“ Toshiya, don’t lie to me. Something happened. It was after I left, wasn’t it?”

Toshiya shook his head. “ Nothing happened, Die.”

Die had a pained look on his face. “ I should’ve accompanied you.”

“ Die, it’s not your fault,” Toshiya eased his wrist away from Die’s grasp but instead held the older man’s hand in a warm clasp. “ Kaoru didn’t…he didn’t do anything. He didn’t even say anything.”

Die thought Toshiya looked disappointed for a second when he said those words. “ Toshiya…”

“ It’s nothing, Die.”

There’s one question among many that Die never dared to ask Toshiya. What happened between him and Kaoru before? Why did Toshiya allow Kaoru to treat him like that?

“ Do you love him?”

And that was the most taboo question of all. The one which Die really wanted to know but was afraid of the answer.

“ What are you asking, Die!” Toshiya pulled back. “ You know how he treated me.”

“ He hurt you very badly. Physically and also with his words. Even though he’s my friend, I hate him for that. But I can’t help to wonder if you miss him…if you’re actually in love with him, Toshiya.”

Toshiya felt his eyes grow hot and tears collect at the rims. “ Please don’t ask me this question.” He brushed away his tears and looked at Die.

“ Why shouldn’t I ask?”

Toshiya bit his lower lip. The tears that he could not control rolled down his cheeks. “ I hate him too for the way he abused me and betrayed my feelings. Sometimes I wish he didn’t exist or he was dead. Because it hurts me so much to think of him. But…but today I saw…he was still wearing the pendant I gave him. It probably means nothing to him but I felt…” Toshiya covered his face, sobbing. “ I don’t know what I felt, Die. I don’t know. Can you please forgive me?”

Die gazed at Toshiya’s teary eyes and his fingers wiped off the tear-stains on his face. “ Toshiya…” The older man hugged him closely. “ There’s nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong.”

“ Die-kun…please don’t hate me.” Toshiya buried his face against the comfort of Die’s body. The scent of Die’s skin enveloped him and he was scared that Die would leave him.

“ I can never hate you.” Die stroked the younger one’s back soothingly. “ Toshiya…do you love me?”

Toshiya looked up at the guitarist. “ Yes…”

For now, perhaps that’s enough…slowly he’ll let go of Kaoru.

Die held Toshiya closer but he couldn’t help the unpleasant feeling brewing inside him. Jealousy.

-Kneel down and scatter the seeds. They’ll sleep in drought but spread their vile roots when the rain returns. ~

to be continued

back to deg fics pg 1